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Sometimes, everyone can see that a couple is not going to make it. Somehow, they still make it to their wedding, but that doesn’t mean that their marriage is going to last. In some cases, geography might predict it: for example, Washington, D.C., has the shortest average marriage length of 10.5 years, followed closely by Alaska with 16.8 years and Texas with 17.6 years.
But the stories in this list aren’t about geography: they’re about red flags that even a wedding guest could spot that screamed, “They’re going to divorce.” They come to you from a recent online thread where one netizen wrote, “As a wedding guest, what was the ‘this marriage isn’t going to last long’ moment?” From unhinged vows to the groom leaving the bride so he can go party with the boys, these marriages didn’t stand a chance.
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#1
When my reaction to being told that “Mike” was engaged was …
“To a woman ?”.
RELATED:
#2
When the bride told me “we can always get divorced” before walking down the aisle. I lived with them in university and they were not a compatible couple, but fell into the cost-sunk fallacy so many do.
They had 2 kids, and when they got divorced, their oldest (9 at the time) said “I’m sad we won’t share the same roof, but happy the yelling will end”.
#3
I was a wedding videographer. I would routinely place a wireless microphone on the groom to capture the vows. In one wedding, as the bride is walking down the aisle to the awaiting groom, the groom leans towards his best man and whispers "I can still say no, I can still say no."
#4
Wedding officiant here. The couples who did the smashing-cake-in-the-face thing and the couples who spent an embarrassing amount on their “dream wedding” are my couples who have split. My couples who tossed traditions, did potlucks, got married on the beach, etc are going the strongest. The more a couple forms themselves to their wedding day the lower their odds, while couples who form the wedding to their personalities and relationships do the best.
Just my anecdotal experience.
#5
Bride had a black eye at the wedding that everyone joked was from her crazy bachelorette party. But I knew she hadn't been "allowed" to have a bachelorette party because her husband thought women going out without their man was purely for cheating. Yeah turns out he'd been giving her black eyes for a while and it only got worse when she got pregnant later. Thank goodness the marriage didn't last!
#6
The bride and groom were seated at a sweetheart table up on the stage in front of everyone. During the best man’s heartfelt speech about the groom - one of the best wedding speeches I’ve witnessed - the bride was looking down at her phone, scrolling and giggling. Everyone could see it. Groom reached over, took her phone and placed it facedown on the table.
She picked it up again and continued on.
Anytime I share this story people say it can’t be true but a bunch of guests took photos for proof. The couple is, apparently, working on a divorce (thank god, because the groom deserves someone so much nicer). .
#7
It started to rain when she started walking down the aisle. After they finished the ceremony and walked out the rain stopped. It was an outdoor wedding.
She was about to start med school and the groom speech was about what a obedient and good home maker she would be.
They got divorced a year later. Before she finished her MD she was married and pregnant with another guy. He is absolutely wonderful and I completely love him. She is happy now.
#8
When it was time for the couple to exchange vows, the groom started to say something about “bringing out a special guest,” and the bride blurted out “No, we talked about this. I will walk out.”
Apparently he wanted to have his ventriloquist dummy give his vows. He must have kept bringing out the dummy in inappropriate situations, because she left him three months later.
#9
It was when the Groom left to go get drunk with his boys, and the bride was left cleaning up tables at the reception.
#10
I was a plus one to a wedding reception between two of my friends coworkers.
They lasted about an hour, had a big fight and the bride stormed out. The groom left with his friends and the guests who remained enjoyed the food.
The juicy post wedding goss:
- the groom ended up drunk and sleeping with someone, he quit the job a few weeks later and about eight months later had became a father.
- the bride went on a bit of a revenge romp. She was fired after being caught in the store room with a delivery driver.
- 20 year store veteran Grilda ranked it the fourth most enjoyable work wedding in her years.
#11
When her self-written vows were the normal kinds of things...and his self-written vows were things like "I know that you're an incredibly insecure person, so I will do my best to deal with that." He basically listed out all of her "flaws" like he was airing dirty laundry... It was super cringe.
#12
A wedding co-ordinator told me she once walked in on the groom “pleasuring” his Best-Man between the ceremony and reception.
When she left the building the Bride was asking guests if they’d seen him anywhere.
#13
When the bride was sat on the grooms lap.
This particular groom was from the wedding next door.
#14
The groom was on his phone during the vows. Not even trying to hide it. They lasted like 8 months.
#15
At the kiss at the altar, the bride broke free from the kiss as if she was disgusted with her new husband. Everyone saw that.
#16
Groom showed up drunk and kept cracking jokes during the ceremony. The registrar had to stop things twice to remind him to take this seriously.
Later the bride was in the kitchen making a load of sandwiches and mini sausages for the reception (in her wedding dress) while the groom sat in the bar drinking heavily with his mates.
When it was time to cut the cake he was swinging the knife around pretending he was Rambo while his poor bride tried so hard to laugh and act like she was enjoying herself and not close to tears.
The marriage was measured in weeks.
#17
A friend’s wedding. They took the floor for what she clearly thought was a well-prepared and rehearsed first dance song.
About five seconds in, record scratch, and the song is replaced by “You’re The One For Me, Fatty” by Morrissey. The groom turns around, leaving the bride standing shellshocked in the middle on her own, and starts running in circles around the edge of the dance floor laughing and waving his arms around.
I wasn’t expecting that.
#18
I was a guest at a wedding where I didn't know the couple but my date was good friends with the bride and groom. At dinner she casually mentioned how they were only together for 5 months, 3 of which they were engaged. Sure enough, 7 months later they were living apart waiting to get divorced. I was at a BBQ with both of them and they came with separate dates like and just acted like they were never married.
#19
Two such cases:
- Groom had a health problem a couple months before the wedding and the bride wouldn't shut up about how he was riuning her wedding with his crutches
- We had a betting pool of how long the marriage would last. Not a single person in the family and friends group refused to participate or said " this is inappropriate". The Groom's father won (9 months).
General Anaesthesia 13 hours ago
The bride was right, the guy wasn't going anywhere fast, using crutches backwards like that.
#21
It was a rushed military wedding between two people just barely out of high school. You didn't need glasses to see the writing on the wall.
#22
At my own wedding when my ex-husband screamed at me in front of our guests because I tried to dance with him. He reminded me in no uncertain terms that he only did the first dance to shut me up and would not be dancing with me ever again in our lives. I was mortified. We only lasted 2 years because my family pretty much forced me to stay with him and I didn't have anywhere else to go. I would have just left him that day if Mom would have let me move back home. When I filed for divorce, he refused to sign for 2 years. I moved on anyway. 10 years free now.
Ace 9 hours ago
Refusing to dance is not in itself a deal-breaker, but she should have known in advance. I don't dance. Ever. I don't recall if I even danced at our wedding, maybe I did, but the formalised 'first dance' thing that seems common in US weddings these days didn't really exist in the UK at that time (I think it still does not) and it just wasn't a big deal. She knew I wouldn't dance, accepted it, no problem.
#23
The groom sent over a brown bag full of cash with the best man and asked him to stand at the door and shoo away guests on the groom's side and he never showed. Bride, after crying in the dressing room, came out and said let's party and - believe it or not - sang I Will Survive with the band. Her bridesmaids all did toasts along the lines of "you dodged a bullet" while eating all the wedding food and a great time was had by all (I was in the catering team at the time and we got to go home with bottles of wine).
#24
My friends mum. My friend stood up and contested to the wedding. It went through, but didn’t last long.
#25
My friend said this at her wedding “thanks for coming guys, I love you. The reception is okay. I think my next wedding I’m going to do…” (I don’t remember what she said her next reception was gonna be), but I was like 😳 wow.
Their marriage didn’t last a year and I’m no longer friends with her.
#27
I went to a wedding which was all about the bride wanting to record every bit of the wedding for her 10,000 something instagram followers. She is still a wannabe influencer.
Had 4 different dresses on the day, and absolutely every step she took needed to be documented and re-taken. It was the most tiring ceremony, and I could see the groom (my friend) was pissed. He hasn't been happy 1.5 years in.
#28
I was sat with the bride’s mother during the reception who loudly announced the marriage wouldn’t last a year. It did not. Less than ten months.
#29
In his reception speech, the groom said that he couldn't stand the bride when they first met "because she never shut up," then said "but now she's learned to put a sock in it" and then turned and "jokingly" pretended to backhand her. (To the guests' credit, nobody laughed, there was awkward silence.) The marriage lasted four months.
Deta Rossiter 6 hours ago
how do couples go through their courtship though? or am i too old fashioned for such?
#30
The bride had a tantrum and cut up into pieces the tailored suit she’d planned to wear for the civil ceremony at a small town hall (the groom’s father was the mayor).
She arrived very late wearing the really unpractical dress she’d planned for the church wedding.
She tore part of the dress on the car door and on the town hall door. She shouted at everyone because she didn’t have enough space. She refused to let anyone try to adjust the dress with pins or anything else. As the tailored suit was no longer an option.
It was a furious bride in a very torn dress who arrived at the church.
She was a spoilt only child, and he was a Golden Retriever with a very sheltered childhood and large religious family.
The marriage lasted a year.
#31
Bride got arrested for hitting the Groom (my brother) in that face with a glass ashtray.
True story.
#32
Fight broke out between bride and her cousin who had a relationship with the groom. He was sleeping with both and decided to marry one of the them. Family took sides and it was nasty, the food was great at the reception. They did not make it to the one year anniversary!
#33
One my friend attended: It was Superbowl Sunday and the groom left the reception early to go to a bar with his friends to watch the game. He told the bride "Honey, I love you, but I have $20 on the game."
One I went to: At the reception, the groom proceeded to do shot after shot of vodka while "joking" about how his life was over, and how we should all just take him out back and shoot him.
#34
My soon to be brother in law told me he was marrying the wrong sister.
#35
When the groom got plastered before the early afternoon ceremony and couldn't get his vows out properly. Honestly the officiant probably shouldn't have even performed the wedding. The bride spent the entire reception apologizing for his antics and complaining about his drinking.
#37
When I overheard the grooms family telling the bride she needed to accept his [toxic behavior] because that’s “the way they were raised”…this was the night before the wedding. It’s been a decade, but they’re divorced. SMH.
#38
I was at a wedding where I only really knew the bride. She and the groom had this rescued Rottweiler that they really loved, and they’d had him in some pretty intense training to be a "tough dog" (as the groom wouldn't stop calling him). The dog was even part of the ceremony as the ring bearer, which y’know, very cute.
But then at the reception, in the middle of the couple's first dance, a guy kicks open the door of the ballroom and charges in shouting, “Babe! I miss you! Don’t do this!” And the bride goes, “What are you doing? We're over! I don’t want to see you!” And the guy lunges at her, and suddenly the dog attacks him. It's losing its mind barking and growling, and it bites down on his arm and wrestles him to the ground.
People start screaming, I hear some kids at the table next to me crying, and the whole thing is just chaos. And then suddenly the guy stands up like nothing happened. The dog sits down, and the bride announces that this guy is their dog trainer, and this was a demonstration of the dog’s "defensive abilities". He takes a bow and shows the little padded protective thing he had on his arm under his shirt. And then he has the audacity to have the dog do a couple of normal tricks, like rolling over and barking on command.
We all kind of politely applauded; he walked out of the room, and then they finished their first dance like this was not an absolutely traumatic experience for everyone in the room. Anyway, it lasted like two years.
#39
The condescending bride. Instead of enjoying her day with her new spouse she is in corrective mode. Rolling her eyes and correcting the groom at every turn. Mocking “the help.” Not taking any time to look at the wedding and the guests having a great time. Looking at the whole day judgementally and not as an active participant.
#40
She said "in richer and richer" or something to that effect. Would not acknowledge that hardships happen. And when they did, she split.
#41
Bride was very pregnant, dancing on main table with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.
#42
The most awkward first dance I have ever witnessed. An unemotional waltz held at arms length like children scared of catching germs. I later learned the MIL insisted they attended lessons so that was choreographed!! And even a professional couldnt make them look happy! Lasted 6 months.
#43
The bride had a full on toddler tantrum ( literally throwing herself on the ground crying and screaming) because the decor was sea foam and not mint( I would struggle to differentiate the 2 on a color chart). That was when the groom started drinking, By 10 o' clock the groom is so drunk that he's running around the venue in just his underpants , in the rain singing drinking songs.
At around 2 am we found him passed out in what can only be described as a volcanic eruption of bodily fluids from both ends.
#45
Bride didn’t have enough time to legally change her last name in between her divorce and her next wedding.
All the wedding signage read “Welcome to the Old Husband Surname/New Husband Surname Wedding!”
This new couple lasted a whopping two years. Unfortunately, I lost a $50 bet on that one, because it was 1.5 years longer than my guess.
ETA: I looked back at the pics to confirm. Can’t believe I forgot this detail: The wedding was loosely Star Wars themed and the bride insisted on having pics of the wedding party in a lightsaber battle.
This didn’t bother me, you do you… BUT even in the photos, there was some obvious tension between the bride and the *only* member of her bridal party— a guy she used to date.
FWIW, she eventually cheated on the groom, but not with that guy, who has since married someone else.
#46
The groom barely acknowledged the bride throughout the evening. Left early to catch a flight. Without her.
#47
Bride had literally 18 bridesmaids. Groom had 2 groomsmen.
This actually says so much... You value and keep your social lives very differently. You don't want to compromise with the other person about the wedding, etc.
#48
I went to a wedding years ago where the bride and groom were all smiles and happy during photos. Whenever the camera wasn’t on them they barely interacted, no commiserating or kissing or even talking. The wedding itself felt very flat and rushed and it seemed like they just wanted to get it over with.
He cheated a year later and left her and the kids (they already had one before they got married). He gave up parental rights and moved 3,000 miles away.
#49
I knew both the bride and the groom very well. Thought they were a good couple. Then wedding day comes. Those two looked like they wanted to be anywhere else but at the wedding. Turns out, they were forced by their parents to have a wedding because "tradition".
Needless to say, they divorced 9 months later.
#50
The wedding invitation included lyrics from a French song about going your separate ways. They divorced three months later.
#51
When the bride and groom got into a screaming match at the reception over what they were doing with the cash gifts.
#52
When the priest officiating the wedding went into detail about the counseling he had provided the wife and groom, that the marriage would work because of the services he provided, and spent 2/3 of the ceremony advertising his church and services.
Apparently this is normal for this small town, but was a big WTH for me.
I think they lasted six months.
#53
I’m not saying they won’t last but it won’t be a blissful marriage. Their speeches and vows were full of tiny lil jabs and snarks and back handed things disguised as awww loving your quirks! Feels like resentment and contempt.
#54
Officiant at a super Christian ceremony made a comment during the ceremony that the bride would need to be patient with the groom because he isn't perfect, but never once implied anything similar when speaking to the groom about the bride. It was basically "He has flaws, you have to accept them, but also you better not have any flaws yourself." This was in front of everyone, during the vows.
I worry about her. She got pregnant immediately. She's white, he and his family are Filipino, his family doesn't seem to like her at all even though she's lovely. She's due in a few months and there is no light left in her eyes. I know his family is being super obnoxious and it'll only get worse after she gives birth. Groom's fam is already gleefully talking about how the baby will look nothing like its mother. They're so smug about it that I kinda hope the kid hits the recessive gene lottery and comes out with the bride's green eyes so people will look at MIL crazy when she implies kiddo doesn't look like the bride.
#55
Everything on their registry was cheap plastic, and not one thing was designed to last longer than a year or two max. That raised eyebrows. Then right before the wedding the groom announced that after the honeymoon he would be quitting his job to do school full-time. He filed for divorce the Monday after he graduated.
#56
When the maid of honor’s speech was 45 minutes of listing the bride’s ex-boyfriends.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 14 hours ago
Why doesn't someone step in to stop this sort of thing?
#57
They wanted to cut the cake in front of all the guests she started to be bossy and angry because he was not following her ideas on how to do it to get the perfect picture.
They lasted a few years and two kids. But he later told us that he went to the bathroom and looked up if He could have the marriage annulled after that incident. But he stayed with her instead until she cheated on him.
#59
The bride’s family and groom’s family got into a drunken brawl at the reception. The marriage lasted 3 weeks.
#60
During the speeches, all the best man talked about the groom landing such a hot girl. Apparently, all his (groom) conversation about her was about her looks. Nothing about their love, their happiness, their connection, etc.. They had nothing in common. The bride is my cousin and while she’s pretty, she’s also a huge jerk. Her entire nuclear family is insane. Marriage lasted a couple of years.
#61
One of my best girl friends secretly eloped with her POS (now ex) husband in 2023. My best guy friend and I were the only two people invited to this elopement.
Literally right before they exchanged their vows or whatever, the groom started crying and first asked me if he should go through this. I was beyond bewildered, and then he did the same thing to my guy friend, who was equally shocked.
Then he played it off as that he was just joking and was testing us, which made us even more confused and mad. Then my girl friend married the guy, which just made me so mad at that point. My best guy friend and I immediately texted & called each other after the “reception” and were so confused and mad about being put in such an awkward position. We both knew it was only a matter of time that the marriage would fall apart.
They fortunately divorced in February of this year because he had been cheating on her for their entire relationship except the first six months. He is not missed for MANY reasons.
#62
The bride was making out with some rando at the bachelorette party. When it came time for the wedding her fiancé was crying so hard when the church doors opened and she walked in that he turned purple.
#63
The bride refused to come out of the bathroom because she noticed the clock hands were going upward and that was a bad sign. So we all had to wait half an hour, during which time she sent for several of her friends, me included, to keep her company. She finally decided she could do this now, when we returned to our seats, half the guests were drunk and milling around, including her mom and the groom.
They lasted less than 3 months.
#64
The bride laughing when she was supposed to be repeating the vows. Lasted around three years. It was my brother's first marriage (of about 4 I think) and he's a jerk, so it wasn't all on the bride.
#65
The groom was grumpy all the time, the bride stressed and looking like she was going to cry any moment, they didn’t have a first dance - didn’t want to, so… her mother and her stepdad did the first dance (don’t ask me, it was SUPER weird). They divorced 2 months later.
#66
I used to work at a big venue where we also hosted weddings. After a few years I could almost INSTANTLY tell if the marriage was in trouble. You can "just tell" (it's an aura/vibe thing) which couples are TRULY in love, it's a mutual experience, the smiles, the body language, the brides maids, groomsmen, etc. The whole scene, the whole energy was on point.
This is a direct counter to the ones where the woman (typically) is just being an obnoxious narcissist, only in it for the social media posts, the ones that refer to it as "her wedding," and all the entitled princess behavior that comes along with it. The look on the to-be husbands faces, literally cringing with embarrassment or stress. The "forced" weddings by religious or family edict were an easy spot as well.
So, chalk it up to chemistry really! I always knew when a couple "had it" if their speeches made ME choked up because I'm not the kind of guy to get all emotional. There were a handful of speeches and moments of true love that slayed me and I walked away in tears. THAT is when I knew they "had it" because for ME to get that emotional over ANYTHING takes an exceptional course of events.
Jeff White 14 hours ago
Good observations. It seems "weird" that a person who never has met the couple is still probably the most likely accurate judge of the union.
#67
When the officiant asked how long they know each other and the answer was 4 months.
#68
The mother/groom dance...that bride just married a child with mommy issues and a MIL that would constantly be telling her she wasn't good enough for her baby.
#69
The wedding was country side, with a lot of guests. But all budget went in the dress, not rooms booked (nor bookable, it was nothing around). Small food/drinks. Just the dress ! And they divorced 8months later.
#70
Currently they're still together, But I attended a ceremony with self-written vows that included important things like "always having a Disney plus subscription". And speeches about how special it was for the MOB to be escorted down the aisle by their "grand puppy". Best man/maid of honor speeches included pointing out how fun it was that the bride and groom BOTH punched each other so much, as in like cute disagreement about who gets the good spot on the couch would turn into full on shoving matches.
Basically the entire ceremony was massively immature and had zero gravitas or serious moments in spite of the monumental amount of money they were spending on what should be a celebration of a serious commitment.
Best part is that it's only the runner-up for worst wedding I've ever attended.
#71
When we did a collective breath hold to see if they were both actually going to say I do.
The bride was known to be such a harpy towards him. During the reception, she sulked openly for half an hour and then went out to yell at him for talking to some guests. The guests? His own sisters and two groomsmen. Wasn't allowed, apparently.
She told him she didn't want to stay with him in the ludicrously expensive honeymoon suite and made him beg for 2 hours. She still didn't stay because it wasn't her parents' house; where she had wanted them to spend the night.
#72
He slipped a list of wealth and status markers he hoped to acquire by marrying her into his vows.
#73
At the reception when I saw the bride and groom looking at each with "What did we do?" expressions.
They divorced six months later.
#74
When I showed up to the bridal shower and the bride told me she cheated at the bachelorette party and planned to continue cheating after the wedding.
#75
When the family (who are nice, normal people close with their daughter the bride) gave speeches and it was clear that they only knew very superficial things about the new spouse and relationship that anyone could have said. Lasted <6 mo.
#76
When, at the end of the the speeches at dinner, the mother of the bride stood up, looked around the room, and after a looong pause said, “When [bride] first introduced us to [groom], my husband and I did not like him one bit. We still don’t.” The father of the bride stood up, and they both walked silently out of the room. It didn’t help that she was tall and intimidating and had a voice kind of like Dr. Maya Angelou’s…
We all just sat there, stunned, and the party didn’t last long after that.
#77
Bride was so drunk she heckled the best man so much he gave up.
I had to pour the groom in a taxi about 3 hours after the ceremony.
6 months.
#78
The bride was clearly more into the wedding itself than her groom. The only time she smiled at his side of the family was when she saw we’d mostly tastefully decorated the car. Beyond that, she was thrilled to be surrounded by her sisters who were bridesmaids (but not his sister who was also one), the cake, the dance with her dad, and the food. She barely talked to her groom and was just into the party, not him.
Eight months after the wedding, he came home to a house that had been emptied of all of her stuff and most of their shared furniture, with divorce papers sitting on the counter.
I don’t blame her too much because my cousin, her groom, would be very difficult to be married to because he’s so self-absorbed, but apparently she never spoke to him again after moving out. All communication went through her lawyer.
#79
Bride's mum caused a scene because the attention wasn't on her. Bear in mind bride's dad wasn't there because mum said she wouldn't go if he was there.
Bride then spent an hour arguing/making up with her mum. Groom got hammered. They took separate cars home and groom crashed out on the sofa.
6 months later bride is pregnant and very much aware she made a huge mistake. They split up when the baby was 8 months old.
This happened 25 years ago and they're not actually divorced. They both have more kids with other people but neither of them will initiate the divorce, some sort of spite thing but I don't really get it.
Bride is (still) one of my best friends. My mum always said "that girl's not happy unless she's in the middle of a crisis!".
#80
When the groom was so bitterly angry and pissed off, he didn’t even want to be at his own wedding reception. I did not see the bride or the groom spend any time together that night. I’m not even sure that their marriage lasted a full six months.
A little backstory: I was invited as a guest by one of the bride’s close friends. I did not know the bride or the groom. We all live in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and the bride and groom are part of an older punk rock/bartending community, so the wedding reception was held at the bar where the bride worked.
The only thing I’d ever experienced from her was that she constantly complained about her ex husband, who is a very well known tattoo artist in our city. She would complain so often while I was hanging out grabbing after work drinks that people around the bar would tell her to shut up, stop complaining, and stop marrying dysfunctional men and expecting a different result. When I went to her wedding and met the most recent one, I thought, 'Oh, this is what they’re talking about.'.
#81
Part of the ceremony was for the groom to put a necklace on the bride. He closed the clasp, and then she berated him for clasping it over her braid instead of under it.
#82
She went around showing her friends and family the custom designed engagement ring, what she didn’t like about it, why it was wrong and what she would have done differently.
It was my design. I was the groom. Our divorce will be done around October. Life is too short to live under such a cloud of negativity and criticism.
#83
My cousin’s first marriage—he cried through the entire thing. Literally red-faced and crying before, during and after the vows. But his bride was cool as a cucumber. She acted like it was all normal. It felt like they were each at completely different weddings.
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