Husband Keeps Introducing Woman As Aquarium Guide Instead Of Marine Biologist, She’s Had Enough

I find it strange that he is answering over her. This shows intentionality. How about writing on his palm your title, as a reminder when he "forgets" next. Just joking.

When he jumps in to answer for you, just roll your eyes and say "Stop teasing them." *turn to other person* "I'm a marine biologist at Turtle Rehab. He thinks it's funny to make up job titles. He calls himself an engineer but he actually works for Train Company."

When OP was “just” a nurse he didn’t feel threatened. Now she has a degree and impressive job title he’s struggling to feel superior. Dumb really because the entire health system depends on nurses plus everyone else. They often know as much, if not more, than doctors. In my experience, they get to know you more than the doctors have time to. I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone in healthcare who saw us through COVID. What you dealt with wasn’t unprecedented but it was the first time in nearly 100 years that the entire system was stretched to the limits (and beyond). We couldn’t have got through anywhere near as intact as a society without you.

If a someone speaks over you and for you, they don't respect you and they are definitely not worth your time.

Introduce him as a janitor. It's way easier than explaining engineer.

10 bucks say this isnt the first time he's undermining her. And she has TWO degrees, one she got while she was working. That's a tremendous achievement.

Jealous of his own wife... Pathetic excuse of a man.

Husband sounds like a pathetic child.

What's so hard to understand about marine biology/a marine biologist? And who's asking him to remember all the details about her job? If an engineer can't understand what a marine biologist does, I'd seriously question he's all there up there. I dreamt of becoming a marine biologist, if not for me can't swim and am afraid of the ocean. Op, I think you have the coolest job--a much better job than your husband's--and I would love to hear you talk about your work!

I'm not going to deny that insecurity plays a huge part in these behaviors, but I've experienced this differently. I think some people really diminish certain career choices as, "useless," or "not a real job." Weirdly, biology is one of them. If you're in medicine, that's seen as acceptable, even respectable, but anything else is not. Ecology, biology, entomology, mycology, or plant sciences, like botany, and even restoration or agricultural, are frequently met with bewilderment or condescension. "Just waters plants for a living," or, "sits on beaches all day." I've heard a lot of derogatory remarks from people about various sciences including "do you even make money doing that?" I feel that people's ignorance, and people imagining that people don't make any money in these careers, or that the jobs aren't important, plays a massive role in "Mr. Engineer's" behavior type. It's possible he sees her job as worthless.

So not only is he undermining her and putting her down he's gaslighting her too. A joke is only a joke if all parties involved in the joke find it funny (especially a long running gag). Otherwise it's just bullying.

"My husband is an engineer" yep, I get it now. Not meaning to disrespect the profession, but engeneers can be very socially unaware and big time a holes/ superiority complexes. There have been quite a few stories in the last couple of years very similar to this one where that was the husband's occupation. Very demeaning about whatever it is the wife does and can't be bothered. Personal experience although anecdotal has been the same.

I honestly only have to ask once if something like this happened in my relationship. If he is continuing to disrespect your request and find it 'funny and easier' maybe he needs a wife who finds that cute. You deserve someone who will listen and change behaviors when you feel hurt and bring it to them. Otherwise, why be in a relationship with him? What does he provide besides that? Something like this isn't usually an isolated incident. He needs to respect your boundaries for your title and if not, just let you explain since his delicate head can't handle it. Which I will point out is strange an engineer isn't smart enough to be able to explain his wife's job.

"Oh, im sorry. My soon to be ex cant remember 8 stringed words togheter. Im a marine biologist working with turtle-rehabilitation".

Her husband is an engineer, so she could cone up with some stupid way of referring to his work like "repairman" or something

I've met very few engineers with social skills and far fewer who aren't just super arrogant.

I see divorce in their future. He’s SO disrespecting her!

He thinks he has a hilarious "joke" that keeps failing that's why he's adamant to "prove" its hilarity to her by doing this over and over until he gets the right response and can go "seeeeee, funny" and he's insecure.

Marine Biologists remove golf balls from blow-holes.

DEFINITELY NTA!!! Hubby doesn't like your new career, for some reason. Did he want you to STAY in nursing? A GOOD husband would brag, "MY WIFE WAS A NURSE, BUT WENT BACK TO EARN ANOTHER DEGREE IN MARINE BIOLOGY. SHE'S SO SMART!" His refusal to properly state your position seems to be a power play at this point. I wonder how he'd feel if you told people that he fixed engines instead of saying he was an engineer. I'd seek professional help to get to the bottom of this. He's being EXTREMELY disrespectful to you and your accomplishments!!!

Introduce him as a handyman

He knows precisely what he's doing and his lie that he 'can't remember' to introduce & address her correctly is simply a way of escaping consequences (it's called 'weaponized ignorance' and it's a manipulation tactic of domestic abusers). This toxic game he's playing with her is his passive-aggressive way of knocking her down a peg to take away her power from having made such a great achievement and loving the job she does - while he's done nothing equally as ambitious. And he will never stop doing this to her. This is his default, go-to tactic when dealing with women who make him feel 'less of a man'. Every time she outshines him from now on, he will make it his mission to knock her down. She needs to divorce him and never look back. He's poison to a partner and if she stays, he will diminish her until she's on her knees, making herself smaller to feed his overblown ego. He's a gross narcissist.

Maybe OP should introduce her husband as "one who designs such-and-such", which would make him look like less than an engineer (yeah, I'm petty); that would give him a taste of his own medicine!

"Hi, I'm a marine biologist, and this is my first husband."

Definitely NTA. OP's husband is being very disrespectful.

Embarrass him every time he does this and tell him it’s really funny when he protests. But the real problem is he is threatened by your career. It was ok when you were a nurse because that’s a pink collar job but his masculinity is threatened by your current job. This marriage is in trouble because there’s a lot of contempt here.

There's definitely some jealousy about her having such a unique profession. Perhaps when she introduces him, she can just say he does "some kind of fabrication".

The sea was angry that day, my friends!

Hi I'm a marine biologist, this is my husband frank. He pokes around stuff.

I would introduce him as a spanner tech hahha

How hard is it to say "Meet my wife. She's a marine biologist."? He probably feels a inferior now with his engineering degree. I hope she starts introducing him as her first husband.

Since engineering is a broad field make a joke with his job. "this is my husband, he drives trains or something"

There seems to be something more going on here. The article doesn’t say whether or not the wife took a large pay cut to start her new career and maybe the husband resents it. Nursing pays a lot more since Covid, over 100K to start in my area. It sounds like they didn’t discuss the consequences of starting a new career. I don’t think we know the whole story.

Hey, George Costanza was proud to pretend to be a marine biologist! (Though of course he would've preferred that Jerry had said he was an architect.)

Oh, I'd probably get all wiseass and correct him saying the big words stump him. And then day them slowly. He’s doing it to undermine you. He’s mocking and cruel and insulting. Give it back in doses he can’t take.

NTA. I always wonder why can’t men show off their wives with their great achievements or accomplishments, proudly to others? It will make him look awesome. Rather they belittle their wives before others thinking tht they are showing off themselves in more value than the wives, but in reality they are embarrassing themselves disrespecting the wife. They are showing themselves in bad light. Can’t really help their egoistic minds and attitudes. Give respect and take respect idiom came into being seeing such a******s. U got to take charge and belittle him in reverse. And the excuse he is giving, saying he can’t remember the details… oh my god cant tell u how ridiculous that sounds. Is he really working as an engineer or he works as janitor or something and lying to u, as he is not able to remember simple 2 English words. U got to verify his job. Finally to tell u the fact, HE IS DOING IT ON PURPOSE AS IT GIVES HIM THE KICK BELITTLING YOU. He doesn’t want to remember those words period.