Lady Has Had Enough Of SIL Racking Up Loans And Asking Her For Money While She Visits Europe

There are many hardships that a person goes through in their life. Yet, one of the most common is the financial sort. Its roots can be various, but that doesn’t change the fact that it can cause people a lot of stress.

Just like for the family in today’s story. In this case, the root of their financial troubles is his wife’s reckless spending habit that can’t be tamed. They even had to borrow money from the man’s brother. And let’s just say, said brother’s wife is quite unhappy with how they are spending the borrowed money.

More info: Mumsnet

Some of the most common hardships people go through in their lives are financial ones

Woman sitting on a couch looking stressed, hands on head, related to financial stress and borrowing issues.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The family in today’s story is no exception — money troubles are causing them quite a lot of stress

Man borrowing from sister-in-law to pay debts and children’s school fees due to wife overspending.

Man borrows money; condition wife stops spending and gets a job.

Text discussing a man's financial struggle with his wife's spending habits and borrowing from his sister-in-law.

Woman holding a pregnancy test in a cozy setting.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The problem is that most of these troubles are brought on by the wife’s reckless spending

Text describing a man's encounter at a New Year's event; highlights financial issues with his wife.

Text discussing a relationship and pregnancy, related to a man borrowing from his sister-in-law.

Text discusses family dynamics and financial strain, mentioning a healthy daughter and subsequent pregnancies.

Text about a baby boy resembling his dad, emphasized in a casual font style.

Baby wrapped in white blanket, crying in a wicker crib, symbolizing financial challenges for families with children.

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For example, she keeps buying expensive gifts for friends or going way over the budget in renovations

Text excerpt describing a man raising his wife's child, which is not biologically his.

Text about wife overspending on luxuries like candles and lunches, leading a man to borrow money from sister-in-law.

Text describing financial issues due to wife's spending on a new kitchen, exceeding budget, impacting brother-in-law.

Man frustrated over wife's spending as he borrows money from sister-in-law for urgent expenses.

Woman with shopping bags at a cafe, highlighting money spending habits.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

It came to the point that the family couldn’t properly fund their kids’ education, so they had to borrow money from the man’s brother

Text message expressing frustration over financial issues and a wife's spending.

Text expressing financial worries about spouse's debts and potential conflicts with in-laws.

Man questions if requesting an evening job for his wife is unreasonable due to financial issues.

Man frustrated after borrowing money from sister-in-law due to wife's spending.

Image credits: Getonwitit

But now, the brother’s wife isn’t thrilled about how the loan is being spent, so she came online to ask for advice

The OP’s brother-in-law, or her husband’s brother, is a married man with kids. And his wife, well, let’s say that the family aren’t the biggest fans of her. 

It all comes down to both the couple’s history and their current (especially financial) state. Let’s start with history. When the man was 29, he met this woman at a Young Farmers NYE bash, where she sneaked in uninvited. They had a one-night stand and split. Until 3 weeks later, when she tracked him down to inform him about her pregnancy.

So, the couple decided to get married 2 months later. Well, a pregnant bride isn’t anything uncommon, especially when the pregnancy is not yet visible. In fact, most pregnant brides decide to get married around the 2nd trimester, which starts around the 3rd month of pregnancy, as usually morning sickness is no longer such a trouble and, again, the belly isn’t so visible yet.

The latter reasoning was used by the OP’s BIL’s bride when they got hitched very early on. Naturally, the man’s family wasn’t very thrilled with such a fast-paced relationship, but they supported him. After all, there’s no defined timeline for when a couple should get married – some date years before marriage and still end up divorcing, while others find their happily ever after when they marry quickly. It all depends on the people involved.

A few months later, the woman gave birth and pretty soon after got pregnant again. To be more specific, within 7 weeks. Granted, it’s possible to get pregnant as little as 3 weeks after giving birth, but some experts warn moms against doing that. They say that it’s best to wait at least 6 months (in other sources a year) or ideally 18 months before getting pregnant again, as it might lessen the possibility of pregnancy complications.

Yet, sometimes life gets in the way and changes those plans, no matter how closely you follow the suggestions of experts. Maybe that’s something that happened to the OP’s SIL; we don’t know for sure, so we can’t judge her. 

Person counting dollar bills at a desk with a notebook and pen, dealing with financial matters.

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

What we can judge her for is the fact that she actually always knew that her firstborn wasn’t even her husband’s kid, but still decided to baby-trap him with a daughter. She let this secret slip once when she was pregnant and it completely devastated the man. 

To make matters worse, that isn’t the only heartbreak she brought to her husband’s life. The second one that constantly plagues their lifestyle, is her spending habit. She doesn’t have a job, so all finances are provided by the husband, who has to relentlessly work overseas to bring money into the family. 

Then, she goes on to spend the majority of it. For instance, buying expensive gifts for her ever-changing friends, going over the budget for kitchen renovation and things like that. Due to this, they struggle to keep up with the costs of their kids’ education. So, the man had to go to his brother’s (the OP’s husband’s) family to ask them for a loan. 

They agreed to lend it, as long as the woman would get a proper job, to lessen their financial burdens and pay the loan back sometime in the future. Yet, now that the money has been loaned, the OP isn’t very happy with how it is being spent, so she came online to ask what could be done about this situation.

Well, to the netizens, the situation wasn’t such a brain teaser – the SIL apparently isn’t planning to change her ways, as setting conditions has clearly not helped her do that. So, instead of trying to change someone who doesn’t want to do so, the OP should try to get her money back and then never lend them anything again. Their troubles aren’t hers to clean up.

What do you think, is netizens’ advice any good in this case? Would you suggest anything else? If yes, share it in the comments!

Netizens pointed out that after getting the money back, the OP shouldn’t ever think about lending them any again, as the woman is clearly not planning to change her ways

Comment questions why a man earning abroad needs sister-in-law's loan if wife works.

Text exchange discussing borrowing money from SIL amid financial issues, mentioning divorce.

Comment discussing lending money and conditions, related to borrowing from sister-in-law.

Text discussing financial advice about lending money to family, focusing on wife wasting funds and borrowing from SIL.

Text screenshot discussing money issues and repayment terms with brother-in-law.

Man discusses borrowing money from sister-in-law amid financial struggles.

A comment advising against lending money when overspending, relevant to borrowing from SIL due to financial issues.

Text discussing financial responsibility and the consequences of borrowing money from family members.

SidekickSylvia's advice on money issues with wife and borrowing from sister-in-law.

Text exchange discussing the issue of borrowing money due to financial mismanagement by a wife.

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