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“Turned My Wife Into A Crazy Person”: Therapy Ruins Couple’s Marriage As Man Files For Divorce
The goal of seeking therapy is to gain clarity through the guidance of a licensed professional. However, some people use it as a crutch to manage their lives, and it often leads to problematic situations.
This married couple is an example of that, when the woman began seeing a therapist to help her cope with her problems at home, including dealing with her autistic son. She became overly reliant on the counseling she had been receiving to the point that she was weaponizing it against her husband.
The man grew fed up and filed for divorce, leaving the family with a newborn child in complete disarray.
RELATED:
Some develop an unhealthy reliance on psychotherapy
Image credits: DC_Studio (not the actual photo)
This was a problem with a couple when the woman began seeing a therapist and weaponized it against her husband
Image credits: sedrik2007 (not the actual photo)
It came to a point where the woman also abandoned her responsibilities to her older son
Image credits: AdDirect5164
Engaging in “therapy speak” can mask biases against a partner as objectivity
The author gave multiple examples of how his wife may have weaponized therapy in their marriage. She is one of the many people who have used “therapy speak” to vocalize what they think is happening around them.
It’s why many have thrown around terms like “narcissist” or “gaslighting,” despite not knowing what these terms exactly mean. In the context of a relationship, clinical psychologist Dr. Catherine Aponte notes that couples may resort to it to disguise their biases against their partner as an objective observation.
“Therapy speak is just the newest way to characterize rather than describe our partner’s actions,” she wrote, noting that it ultimately prevents an honest conversation that is important in relationships.
Keynote speaker and clinical psychologist Dr. Perpetua Neo clarified that healthy therapy speak does exist. In her article for MindBodyGreen, she described it as a conversation that is “open to reflection, review, and education, and is thoughtfully used.”
An example she gave was saying something like, “I have a suggestion, would you like me to say it?” instead of bombarding your partner with your ideas.
On the other hand, Dr. Neo also gave an example of unhealthy therapy speak, such as being trigger-happy with branding someone as “toxic.”
“While we should not have to ask someone to prove they’ve been hurt, we similarly should not rush to brand everything toxic,” Dr. Neo wrote.
Upon recognizing that someone may be weaponizing therapy speak, Dr. Neo advises shutting the conversation down with a statement like, “This isn’t something I’d like to discuss with you.”
However, the situation of the couple in the story appears to be beyond repair, especially since the woman seems to have abandoned her responsibilities as a mother to her older son. The man’s decision to file for a divorce may be reasonable, considering how his wife does not seem to think she has done anything wrong.
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba Studio (not the actual photo)
The man provided more information, and many people in the comments sided with him
Others had choice words for the wife, as some encouraged him to move forward with the divorce
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What do you think ?
DrBronxx 1 month ago
I wonder if there was more of a response to the divorce comment, Currently it reads like "Why don't you marry your therapist, then?! I'm filing for divorce" "You can't speak about my therapist that way!!" Not a mention of the divorce.
Suzie 1 month ago
Why would she want to stay if she believes that nonsense she's spouting? She's using him for his paycheck at this point.
Load More Replies...
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Therapist is a quack and wife is a whacko that isn't safe to be around either of those children. He should divorce her and get full custody of those children.
Forrest Hobbs 1 month ago
Kate Johnson 1/2: apologies for being slightly weird, but my posts in the relevant thread keep getting deleted. Someone with at least two "fake" Forrest Hobbs accounts is trawling (and trolling) that thread, downvoting and reporting my posts to get BP to delete them, posting childish abuse under my name to confuse people, and presumably downvoting everything else they don't like. With enough downvotes and reports of harassment, it's possible that BP might remove the crazy posts.
Load More Replies...
DC 1 month ago
Are therapists required to have some sort of education, license and so forth where he lives? If not, steer clear AT THE VERY, VERY LEAST from those that aren't a psychologist, psychiatrist or a comparable profession including a degree from an actual university. The amount of times that, whenever anything doesn't go exactly as planned, you're sent to see a therapist nowadays is insane in and of itself. I've never seen one. I have issues, and I'm quite fond of a few of them. I don't burden anybody with them. There's nothing to be therapized about me, and even if, I stopped giving any intercourses long ago. Either the wife, of the professional accusator are at fault here, and a divorce might safe not his life, but any and every quality of life he still has and can have looking forward. This therapist is toxic.
Mike F 1 month ago
A bit late for that now. The "therapist" has already ruined not only the marriage but the family unit as well.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 month ago (edited)
First off, the older child sounds more like they’re on the Asperger’s side of the spectrum, fully able to communicate but, as one commenter said, merely wired a bit differently. If their working parent can manage to learn their communication style, while the stay at home parent evidently cannot, then that’s a failing of the stay at home parent. They’re just not paying attention. OP’s wife is upset and lashing out because she didn’t have a “perfect” child the first time around (wouldn’t it be just like Karma for the second child be diagnosed as autistic as well?), and that’s the reason for having the second child then totally ignoring—-basically erasing the existence of—-the first child. This is a lot to unpack, and possibly a different therapist could help the two of them work it out better. If not that option, then OP getting full custody of both children—-as well as court ordered therapy with a completely different therapist for his ex-wife—-would be the best alternative for everyone. IF visitation by the mother is allowed, it definitely should be monitored. In her current mental state, you never know what she might do to the older child if she’s alone and unmonitored while with them. I wouldn’t want to take that risk, and would hope the court wouldn’t either. I’d be very curious to see an update and find out what solution OP came up with.
Livingwithcfs 1 month ago
My guess, from personal experience is that OPs wife is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Post natal depression can last for years, and that is something most people don't realize. There are also different depths to it and it can really destroy your reasoning. I have a feeling the things his wife is saying the therapist is saying is going through a filter of wonky thinking. Her behavior definitely doesn't sound rational but you have to remember he is also in a highly stressed state so it's not surprising they've got to this stage. It wasn't wise of him to say that about the therapist because it has obviously escalated things, but it is probably a good idea for him to remove the child from that environment because autistic children have even more difficulty coping in disruptive environments than a nurotypical child
Jaya 1 month ago
We have no idea if the therapist does something wrong or not. The wife may be twisting the therapist's word around, turning it into something very different. Also, the therapist isn't there herself, so she has to base everything on what the wife says. For instance, if the wife describes the 'glass on the kitchen floor' situation as "he hit me because he was angry that I walked in the kitchen when he was busy cleaning the floor", then it's no wonder the therapist says that was an abúsive thing for him to do.
Just stopping by 1 month ago
I have a hard time believing she’s actually seeing a therapist. I would need to see some proof for that if I was OP. Granted she 100% could be misinterpreting everything the therapist says and such but she’s so off that I don’t believe she’s actually seeing someone.
DrBronxx 1 month ago
I wonder if there was more of a response to the divorce comment, Currently it reads like "Why don't you marry your therapist, then?! I'm filing for divorce" "You can't speak about my therapist that way!!" Not a mention of the divorce.
Suzie 1 month ago
Why would she want to stay if she believes that nonsense she's spouting? She's using him for his paycheck at this point.
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Therapist is a quack and wife is a whacko that isn't safe to be around either of those children. He should divorce her and get full custody of those children.
Forrest Hobbs 1 month ago
Kate Johnson 1/2: apologies for being slightly weird, but my posts in the relevant thread keep getting deleted. Someone with at least two "fake" Forrest Hobbs accounts is trawling (and trolling) that thread, downvoting and reporting my posts to get BP to delete them, posting childish abuse under my name to confuse people, and presumably downvoting everything else they don't like. With enough downvotes and reports of harassment, it's possible that BP might remove the crazy posts.
Load More Replies... DC 1 month ago
Are therapists required to have some sort of education, license and so forth where he lives? If not, steer clear AT THE VERY, VERY LEAST from those that aren't a psychologist, psychiatrist or a comparable profession including a degree from an actual university. The amount of times that, whenever anything doesn't go exactly as planned, you're sent to see a therapist nowadays is insane in and of itself. I've never seen one. I have issues, and I'm quite fond of a few of them. I don't burden anybody with them. There's nothing to be therapized about me, and even if, I stopped giving any intercourses long ago. Either the wife, of the professional accusator are at fault here, and a divorce might safe not his life, but any and every quality of life he still has and can have looking forward. This therapist is toxic.
Mike F 1 month ago
A bit late for that now. The "therapist" has already ruined not only the marriage but the family unit as well.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 month ago (edited)
First off, the older child sounds more like they’re on the Asperger’s side of the spectrum, fully able to communicate but, as one commenter said, merely wired a bit differently. If their working parent can manage to learn their communication style, while the stay at home parent evidently cannot, then that’s a failing of the stay at home parent. They’re just not paying attention. OP’s wife is upset and lashing out because she didn’t have a “perfect” child the first time around (wouldn’t it be just like Karma for the second child be diagnosed as autistic as well?), and that’s the reason for having the second child then totally ignoring—-basically erasing the existence of—-the first child. This is a lot to unpack, and possibly a different therapist could help the two of them work it out better. If not that option, then OP getting full custody of both children—-as well as court ordered therapy with a completely different therapist for his ex-wife—-would be the best alternative for everyone. IF visitation by the mother is allowed, it definitely should be monitored. In her current mental state, you never know what she might do to the older child if she’s alone and unmonitored while with them. I wouldn’t want to take that risk, and would hope the court wouldn’t either. I’d be very curious to see an update and find out what solution OP came up with.
Livingwithcfs 1 month ago
My guess, from personal experience is that OPs wife is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Post natal depression can last for years, and that is something most people don't realize. There are also different depths to it and it can really destroy your reasoning. I have a feeling the things his wife is saying the therapist is saying is going through a filter of wonky thinking. Her behavior definitely doesn't sound rational but you have to remember he is also in a highly stressed state so it's not surprising they've got to this stage. It wasn't wise of him to say that about the therapist because it has obviously escalated things, but it is probably a good idea for him to remove the child from that environment because autistic children have even more difficulty coping in disruptive environments than a nurotypical child
Jaya 1 month ago
We have no idea if the therapist does something wrong or not. The wife may be twisting the therapist's word around, turning it into something very different. Also, the therapist isn't there herself, so she has to base everything on what the wife says. For instance, if the wife describes the 'glass on the kitchen floor' situation as "he hit me because he was angry that I walked in the kitchen when he was busy cleaning the floor", then it's no wonder the therapist says that was an abúsive thing for him to do.
Just stopping by 1 month ago
I have a hard time believing she’s actually seeing a therapist. I would need to see some proof for that if I was OP. Granted she 100% could be misinterpreting everything the therapist says and such but she’s so off that I don’t believe she’s actually seeing someone.
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