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Marriage On The Rocks As Lady Is A SAHM For A 5th Kid, Whines About It To Hubs Who Raised 4 Kids Solo
Upset man holding a yellow pillow and covering his face, showing frustration and emotion indoors.

Marriage On The Rocks As Lady Is A SAHM For A 5th Kid, Whines About It To Hubs Who Raised 4 Kids Solo

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Every stay-at-home parent knows just how much time and effort go into managing the house and looking after their children. It’s definitely not an easy job, and it takes a lot of getting used to once a person decides to choose this path.

That’s exactly why one woman who quit her job to look after her daughter found being a homemaker extremely tough, while her husband, who had done it many times before, thought she was being overdramatic. This led to a big conflict between them, which left the man feeling confused.

More info: Reddit

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    It requires a lot of sacrifice for a person to be a stay-at-home parent, which can be difficult to come to terms with

    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    The poster explained that he had quit his job, been a stay-at-home dad, and parented four of his children while managing all the home chores

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    Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    When they had their fifth kid, the poster’s wife decided to quit her job and become a stay-at-home mom, which he was skeptical she would be able to manage

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    Image credits: Eduardo Ramos / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    When the woman left their home and daughter in a mess, the man called her out since he couldn’t understand why she was struggling, as he had managed well for 25 years

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    Image credits: wavebreak media / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The woman explained that she found being a stay-at-home parent hard, and that she was afraid of missing out on her daughter’s life as she did with the other kids

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    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    The poster assured his wife that she had always been there for their children’s special memories and that they didn’t hold any resentment toward her

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    Image credits: ThrowawayHSgrad

    Eventually, the man decided that both he and his wife should go to therapy and that they should hire house help so that she could manage things better

    Since the time that the poster and his wife started having children, he had been comfortable quitting his job and looking after all the little ones. Apart from the childcare, the OP had also seamlessly managed the household chores, cooking, and attending all of their events, while his wife worked. 

    Although most stay-at-home parents are women, the number of dads choosing this role is on the rise. In fact, research has found that nearly 49% of working fathers wish they could look after their kids instead. This is because more parents are realizing the importance of spending time with their children and seeing how being a homemaker can help them do that.

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    In this particular case, the woman finally decided that she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom so that she could spend time with her daughter. Unfortunately, she wasn’t prepared for the reality of what being a housewife entailed, and she soon found herself getting overwhelmed and struggling to keep things in order.

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    According to studies, around 31% of homemakers found that looking after the house and their children was tougher than going to work. This is because many stay-at-home parents find this role to be physically and emotionally demanding. That’s exactly what the woman must have felt, and she must not have known how to handle so much labor.

    Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    The OP couldn’t understand why his wife was having such a hard time looking after the children when he had managed it so smoothly for over 25 years. He finally confronted her about it after finding their home, bathroom, and child in a mess, and no food cooked at all. 

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    At first, the woman didn’t say anything and, instead, tried her best to clean up and make sure everything was done well. Later on, she told her husband that being a stay-at-home mom was much harder than she expected it to be, but that she really wanted to make it work so that she could spend time with their daughter.

    The OP might not have been able to understand his wife’s perspective because he had managed the homemaker duties quite easily. Studies, on the other hand, show that stay-at-home parents often feel annoyed, depressed, irritated, and burnt out due to the pressure of this role, and that’s also okay.

    Luckily, the man took the time to listen to his wife and to see what kind of help and support she needed in order to be a homemaker. That’s why they eventually decided to go for couples therapy and to get some house help, so that she’d be able to manage everything better and with less stress.

    Why do you think the woman struggled so much with being a stay-at-home parent while her husband managed it easily? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this story.

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    Most people sided with the man and felt that he wasn’t wrong for calling his wife out

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    What do you think ?
    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was prepared to sympathise until I got to the bit where he said "I, along with the hired help..."

    Ai
    Community Member
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nobody is TA here. It's just that sometimes life isn't easy or black and white. It's good they talked through it. Him raising 4 children as SAHP was a lot! At the same time, she is 48 so either menopausal or perimenopausal. It's very different from being 20 when it comes to energy levels. Also her hormones are probably a rollercoaster now. That said, she should agree to hiring help or any reasonable suggestion from her partner.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 hours ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    With hired help? Then you didn't do it all on your own with no problem. Don't take credit for whatever "the help" did. If it was cleaning or child minding, shopping or prepping/cooking dinner, that was just OP. And that's fine - if you can afford it, there's no issue unless you pretend you're the sole caregiver when you're not. And if wife was home for a year after each birth, it wasn't OP on his own (even with servants) from the moment the kids came home. The number of times the story changed just in a few paragraphs is telling, this is an unreliable narrator. He has more issues than his marriage.

    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was prepared to sympathise until I got to the bit where he said "I, along with the hired help..."

    Ai
    Community Member
    3 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nobody is TA here. It's just that sometimes life isn't easy or black and white. It's good they talked through it. Him raising 4 children as SAHP was a lot! At the same time, she is 48 so either menopausal or perimenopausal. It's very different from being 20 when it comes to energy levels. Also her hormones are probably a rollercoaster now. That said, she should agree to hiring help or any reasonable suggestion from her partner.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 hours ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    With hired help? Then you didn't do it all on your own with no problem. Don't take credit for whatever "the help" did. If it was cleaning or child minding, shopping or prepping/cooking dinner, that was just OP. And that's fine - if you can afford it, there's no issue unless you pretend you're the sole caregiver when you're not. And if wife was home for a year after each birth, it wasn't OP on his own (even with servants) from the moment the kids came home. The number of times the story changed just in a few paragraphs is telling, this is an unreliable narrator. He has more issues than his marriage.

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