Neighbor Who Thinks He Owns The Street Starts Insulting The Wrong Man’s Mother And Soon Regrets It
Interview With Expert
Not all days are beautiful in the neighborhood. An unpleasant person next door can become a headache for most people around them. The jerk neighbor from this Redditor’s story could surely run for the “worst neighbor” title. And all for a parking spot on the street.
The user named postcardscience had had enough of his entitled, grumpy neighbor who was acting like he owned the street. So he decided to teach the man a lesson. Check out the story, pandas, and let us know what you think about this act of petty revenge in the comments.
Bored Panda reached out to Lisa Mirza Grotts, an Etiquette Expert with 23 years of experience for a comment. She was kind enough to share her expertise with us and our readers.
The jerk neighbor in this story had some strong opinions on who could and couldn’t park on his street
Image credits: Erik Mclean (not the actual photo)
The OP decided he would not tolerate the neighbor’s behavior after he yelled at his mother
Image credits: Kenny Eliason (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
Image credits: postcardscience
“We need to change our mindset to ‘we’,” says an Etiquette Expert
Lisa Mirza Grotts is a certified Etiquette Expert who helps her clients and readers deal with business, social, and political situations. In addition to her television, radio, newspaper, and online presence, she authored a manners blog for the Huffington Post for eight years. Grotts has kindly agreed to tell Bored Panda what would be the right way to approach a situation like this in a polite way.
Dealing with a neighbor who exhibits territorial tendencies, especially in a shared space like a residential street, can be tricky. On one hand, you might want to keep the good neighborly relationship going. On the other hand, that’s not really possible if they step over the line, like they did in OP’s story.
“To be a good neighbor requires politeness, thoughtfulness, sincerity, and oftentimes discretion,” etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts says. “But extreme behavior is going a bridge too far.”
“And even though politeness is the best disinfectant for good behavior, there really is no gray area,” she goes on. “Living in communal spaces is the definition of shared space, meaning yours, mine, and ours. We live in a ‘me’ world; we need to change our mindset to ‘we’.”
The Etiquette Expert admits that, as evident in this story, going to the authorities might be the last option. “If we cannot reach a compromise, legal professionals might have to be explored to find a solution,” she admits.
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
How to handle a neighbor who’s being aggressive and insulting without escalating tensions
Communication and politeness are key, of course, although it’s easier said than done. Lisa Mirza Grotts recommends using a certain method when approaching a person that’s agitated. “Begin with the 3 C’s: Stay calm, set boundaries, and seek common ground,” she says.
“Not all neighbors are created equal. For the ones who like to usurp their power, staying calm might present a challenge,” she admits.
If the situation turns ugly, the Etiquette expert recommends removing yourself from the situation and potential danger. “As with all contentious situations, avoid direct engagement. Go out of your way to disengage or there could be rage,” she advises.
Relationships between neighbors work based on mutual respect and understanding. You never know when you might need help from the person who lives next door. “If you treat your neighbor – the person you see day in and day out – with disrespect, you might not get much cooperation from them,” Lisa Mirza Grotts observes.
However, she also notes that there has to be reciprocation. At the end of the day, getting along with neighbors is important. But still, remember that a person has to deserve your good behavior.
“Respect is a two-way street,” Grotts tells us. “All of our choices have power, which means being tactful is the right choice when it comes to neighbors. Especially those living in cities (close quarters).”
In 2009, Lisa Mirza Grotts published “A Traveler’s Passport to Etiquette.” Additionally, she’s been interviewed and quoted by some of the world’s top business and lifestyle publications, including Dear Abby, San Francisco Chronicle, The New York Times, HuffPost, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, USA Today, Reader’s Digest and more.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
The author also clarified some things in the comments
People praised OP for executing his revenge in a “classy” and “not malicious” way
Parking in narrow streets is only prohibited if it could hinder emergency services. So it's very unlikely that the town would have put up those signs, which needed effort and cost money, if there was a necessity for that. So he made the street safer for everyone. Also, the parents now have a designated drop off area which is much safer for the kids. Well played OP.
I lived in an 8-unit apartment building that, at the time was, close to 100 years old. The elderly woman who lived on the first floor had lived there all her life. Her parents had originally moved in when the place was built. She pretty much acted like she was the owner going as far as to try to tell people what color curtains they could put up. Her daughter, who had also grown up there would come visit regularly and although there was a parking lot behind the building as well as street parking, she insisted on leaving her at the top of the driveway blocking anyone else from coming in or out. She actually told the police she could do whatever she wanted because her family had lived there so long. Finally, the old lady got put into a home and the landlord was able to rent the apartment to someone else although it took him six months to make the place livable. She would never let anyone in to fix anything or make improvements.
My mum is sadly gone now but had he covered her in his spittle, I'm afraid a swift punch to his face would have ensued. Yes I know violence is bad but you ain't spreading your bacteria over my mum!
I agree - BUT I am the Mum and I would be the one to throw the slap. I do not show disrespect - and i sure as f do not take it. Funny at 4'11" and looking like a kindergarten teacher, I am rarely shown disrespect, and when I am, the squared shoulders and MOM look gets them to back down lol
Load More Replies... Parking in narrow streets is only prohibited if it could hinder emergency services. So it's very unlikely that the town would have put up those signs, which needed effort and cost money, if there was a necessity for that. So he made the street safer for everyone. Also, the parents now have a designated drop off area which is much safer for the kids. Well played OP.
I lived in an 8-unit apartment building that, at the time was, close to 100 years old. The elderly woman who lived on the first floor had lived there all her life. Her parents had originally moved in when the place was built. She pretty much acted like she was the owner going as far as to try to tell people what color curtains they could put up. Her daughter, who had also grown up there would come visit regularly and although there was a parking lot behind the building as well as street parking, she insisted on leaving her at the top of the driveway blocking anyone else from coming in or out. She actually told the police she could do whatever she wanted because her family had lived there so long. Finally, the old lady got put into a home and the landlord was able to rent the apartment to someone else although it took him six months to make the place livable. She would never let anyone in to fix anything or make improvements.
My mum is sadly gone now but had he covered her in his spittle, I'm afraid a swift punch to his face would have ensued. Yes I know violence is bad but you ain't spreading your bacteria over my mum!
I agree - BUT I am the Mum and I would be the one to throw the slap. I do not show disrespect - and i sure as f do not take it. Funny at 4'11" and looking like a kindergarten teacher, I am rarely shown disrespect, and when I am, the squared shoulders and MOM look gets them to back down lol
Load More Replies...
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