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411
Prank Backfires As Guy Genuinely Connects With His ‘Joke’ Blind Date, Friends Are Furious
Interview With ExpertDating is messy. Especially for the busy. Many of them, including medical resident and Reddit user ResidentThrowRA, are so into their careers, hobbies, and other responsibilities that it leaves little room for creating and maintaining personal relationships.
So when the resident’s “friends” told him that they’d set up a blind date for him, the guy obliged. However, little did he know, it was supposed to be a prank—the girl they had matched him with was, in their mind, so not his type that the fella was bound to have a bad time.
After the date (which went really well) and learning about the scheme, he turned to r/AITAH to vent his frustrations and seek advice on how to navigate the situation.
Continue scrolling to learn what happened and don’t miss the chat we had with psychotherapist Dr. Erin Leonard that should help make sense of the whole ordeal.
RELATED:
This guy was set up for a blind date, but when it ended, he learned it was supposed to be a prank
Image credits: Katerina Holmes (not the actual photo)
AITA for going on a second date with the girl my friends set me up with as a prank?
“I (28M) am a medical resident, so I barely have time to sleep, let alone date. My friends (also in med school) have been pushing me to go out more, insisting that I need a break from the grind. A few weeks ago, they set me up on a blind date. They wouldn’t stop talking about how ‘perfect’ this girl was for me, so I thought, why not?
I met Emily (26F Fake name) at the restaurant, and right away, I could tell she wasn’t what my friends probably expected me to go for. Emily’s not super skinny—in fact, she’s a little chubby—but honestly, I thought she was really cute. She had this amazing smile, and the way she laughed just made me want to keep the conversation going. She’s studying geology, and she was so passionate about her work, talking about volcanic rock formations like it was the coolest thing ever (and by the end of the night, I agreed, it was a lot more fun to talk about than cadavers).
The best part was how comfortable the date felt. We both found out we’re autistic, both late diagnosed, and we mask a lot—meaning we’re used to putting on a social ‘act’ to fit in. But with each other, it felt like we didn’t have to pretend so much, and that made the whole evening feel easy. It wasn’t like most dates where you’re constantly trying to impress the other person. We just clicked.
Physically, Emily wasn’t the type my friends thought I’d be into, but I didn’t care at all. She’s sweet, funny, and I had an amazing time with her. By the end of the night, we exchanged numbers, and we’ve been texting pretty regularly since.”
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
“A few days later, though, I got a really sad message from Emily. Turns out, my friends told her that they set us up as a prank. That they set me up with her because they thought she wasn’t ‘my type’ and that they picked her specifically because she’s chubby and not what they’d call ‘conventionally attractive,’ thinking it would be funny to see how I’d react. Emily was obviously hurt and texted me, apologizing if she wasn’t what I expected. She said she understood if I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. She was wrong. I think she’s beautiful. Body and spirit. To be honest, she’s my new type.
I was furious when I found out what my friends had done. I immediately apologized to Emily, telling her my friends were idiots and that I genuinely enjoyed our date. I reassured her I wasn’t texting her out of pity and that I thought she was awesome. After we talked it out, I asked her if she’d like to go on another date, just the two of us, with no pranks or games this time. She said yes.
Now, my friends are pissed at me. They’re saying I ruined the joke and that I’m being ‘weird’ by asking her out again. They’re acting like the whole thing was just harmless fun and can’t believe I’m going on a second date with someone who, to them, was supposed to be the punchline. They even joked that I’m only doing it because I feel bad, but that’s not it at all. I actually like Emily. I’m looking forward to seeing her again, and I don’t see why I should let their prank dictate how I feel.
So now I’m getting all this backlash, and my friends think I’m the a**hole for continuing to see her. I’m so confused. They keep saying it’s my autism and that I just don’t get it. AITA?”
Credits: ResidentThrowRA
Fake friends take more than they give
Some data suggests that in the United States, about 43% of adults have been on a blind date at least once.
However, the success rate doesn’t sound good. In a 2006 survey, only 1% of those who were married or in a serious long-term relationship said they had met on a blind date or through a dating service.
Recent numbers are hard to find, but confessions from people who go on a hundred of them a year indicate the situation might be similar.
But this story is the perfect example of why people bother. The actual return, some say, on blind dates has little to do with the success rate and more to do with the prize.
Even if three blind dates don’t end well, you only lose one evening each time. However, one fantastic blind date could more than make up for those three wasted evenings.
The blind date often gets a bad rap, but at the end of the day, it’s just another format and there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. Unless, for instance, it’s supposed to be a prank.
Some people may talk about how much they care about us, but they’re only around for the fun parts and, as we can see, sometimes the fun comes at our expense.
“A certain type of personality (narcissistic) is nice or charming at first to you to win your trust because they want to exploit you for something,” Dr. Erin Leonard, who has been a practicing psychotherapist for two decades, told Bored Panda. “It is a form of grooming.”
“They may also be extra nice because they want a ‘minion.’ They may have an ax to grind with someone else and wish to recruit you to their side. Instead of handling difficulties with another face to face, they choose to wage a war behind this person’s back by aligning people against them behind the scenes.”
In the long run, fake friends take far more than they give. “A narcissistic person damages your self-esteem because they unfairly attack your character in subtle ways,” said Leonard, author of How to Outsmart a Narcissist: Use Emotional Intelligence to Regain Control at Home, at Work, and in Life. “These toxic comments are often disguised as a joke or a weird compliment, but they get under your skin and make your head swim.”
According to the psychotherapist, narcissists also gaslight us. “They purposely try to hurt you so you react emotionally. Then they point to your escalated response and call you ‘crazy.’ This causes people with a conscience and self-awareness a lot of grief because they then feel as if they are the problem.”
Sometimes, we feel guilty about cutting ties with people even though they are toxic to us. In these cases, Leonard advises getting emotional space through diplomacy. “Do not overtly sever the relationship,” she suggested. “Simply spend a lot less time with these people and invest in healthier relationships.
At least the guy from Reddit weeded them out sooner rather than later.
Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)
While people felt sorry for the guy having to go through this, they were glad he realized who his friends really weren’t
While navigating the complexities of dating, it’s interesting to see how some people manage to keep a sense of humor and creativity alive, even in unexpected pranks.
Just as ResidentThrowRA discovered some unsavory truths about his friends’ idea of humor, we can reflect on how maintaining a playful spirit, as shown in vacation photos with a fun twist, can sometimes be a silver lining, offering us the chance to see things from a lighter perspective.
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What do you think ?
LB 1 year ago
Right! If anything, the autism has made it difficult for OP to realize that these people don't make good friends. It feels nice to read so many reactions trying to help him see that.
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Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 1 year ago
Unfortunately sooo many men only "like" women they find attractive and think they can treat the rest like garbage - it's absolutely despicable. As a woman who is rather skinny, so many men are nice to me only to say absolutely horrible things about women who are not skinny and when I say something, they are surprised. Wtf did you expect? I would be flattered if you shït talk other women? Fat shaming women is an even worse epidemic than you think, people
Ms.GB 1 year ago (edited)
It's absolutely reprehensible. There are also so many ppl that will make fat jokes around me or other people because we aren't "fat" in their opinion and we should find it funny too right!? I put those people in the same category as ppl that think it's ok to say racist things around me because I'm white. We are not the same Jr KKK and I'm offended for everyone in my life and just nice ppl in general that aren't the right color for you. Then those ppl like to call anyone who doesn't agree with them a social justice warrior...if that's what you have to call me to feel better about being a s**t human being go ahead I guess. I mean let me get this straight: They set their friend up on a date with someone that they believed he wouldn't find attractive in the hopes that she would be hurt and he would be put in an awkward situation. Now that it turns out he didn't feel awkward about dating her and she didn't get rejected or hurt they are upset "because he ruined the joke?" What was the joke supposed to be...hurting 2 human beings, one of whom is a friend? The only thing I find remotely funny is that op's "friends" consider themselves friends or even decent human beings for that matter.
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Trillian 1 year ago
And those guys want to be doctors some day. Yeah well that explains a lot.
Rachel Hendricks 1 year ago
They sound like they're predestined to be surgeons. I've met only one surgeon who was not an arrogant AH, he is one of the best surgeons in my area, and he has not lost his empathy.
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G Bono 1 year ago
When my brother was in HS, his friends did the same to him, That was 1979 or 80. He and that girl just celebrated their 41 yrs anniversary. BTW, that skinny, "geeky" girl with big glasses and no social skills, (few were diagnosed as being on the spectrum then) went on to be a an amazing mother and a Neuro oncologist. Those "friends" who set up OP, may have been mean spirited, but they may have also given OP the 2 best gifts ever (introducing him to a great woman, and proving they're POS's. What's a shame is these AHs are going to be treating patients soon.
Rahul Pawa 1 year ago
I'm reminded me of the quote from the Princes Bride. "You keep using that word (friends). I do not think it means what you think it means."
SuperChicken 1 year ago
I know, right? Then again, I've met some 12-year olds who are more mature than these jackarses.
Load More Replies...
François Bouzigues 1 year ago
To: OP From: me Subject: Friendship offer You seem like a great guy, but you could have better friends. I hereby apply to be your friend. I tend to discriminate people very quickly between "nice/intelligent" and "crazy/harmful". You defintely belong to the first category and your "friends" to the second. Since we are friends now, i encourage you to get to know more this young girl. I don´t know her. But i like the way you talk about her. Not all first dates work out that well. Go for it. Side note. From one buddy to another. Roads or girls, curves are lot of fun.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
WTF is wrong with people that they 1) set up an autistic "friend" for reaction, and another innocent girl for their own lols. What a bunch of kuntz. I wish this new couple all the love. I also hope he ditches those bullies.
N G 1 year ago
Op and the girl would make a nice couple. I hope they keep dating. Is there a follow up story to this?
Corvus 1 year ago
Ummm, so his 'friends" are upset that their attempt to hurt/humiliate him didn't work out? Oh no, the tragedy!
Vinnie 1 year ago
And they also wanted to humiliate the young woman - they're pissed off because he didn't.
Load More Replies... Kim Bailey 1 year ago
Some medical residents are awful humans...I don't know if it's a personality type or a reaction to sleep deprivation.
adobe blue 1 year ago
I wish there was an update. This would make an excellent Netflix movie and I might just steal the idea. Hopefully, this hard-working medical student and his cute geologist are living happily ever after.
Arabiata Arabiata 1 year ago
Is the OP seriously asking if he's AITA for dating a girl he likes? Is he a grown man? If I want to go out with a girl, I don't care about my "friends" opinion. Go buddy, go and be happy with her.
painttheyellowsubgreen 1 year ago
Being on the spectrum and diagnosed late has given him a skewed understanding of what friendship is. These "friends" are what has formed his idea of what friendship looks like. If at closing in on 30 they still act this way, imagine how much worse they were as teenagers. He didn't react the way they wanted/expected, and worse liked the girl they saw as a joke. Now he is going against the pack and having his first opinion based only on his thoughts and wants. It's pretty obvious when you read what he says about his usual type, if you reread that from the mindset of someone who thinks the chubby girl is a punch line it sounds gross. Remember that these guys went out of their way to directly hurt that girl when they didn't get what they wanted from OP. So yes he genuinely thinks he may be in the wrong, because he has been groomed to accept and agree with their toxicity. Now that something has happened that prompts him to think for himself and to directly oppose his friends viewpoint, he is confused and unsure if he is in the right.
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Adam Benson 1 year ago
Emily sounds awesome. Seriously, Keep her and ditch your so-called friends.
Apatheist Account2 1 year ago
It's the way to take ownership of the joke. It's one way to deal with bullies - if they do something to annoy you, enjoy it.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
This one time my friends set me up with the nerdiest girl in school, but after hanging out with her and a complete makeover we fell in love.
Deborah B 1 year ago
NTA - the "friends" sound like a******s. They're shallow, and care more about arbitrary beauty standards than personality and compatibility. They wanted to hurt and embarass this girl, and they were also trying to insult OP "The 'perfect' girl for you is not conventionally attractive, because you don't deserve to date a conventionally attractive person!" Now they're pissed because their "prank" misfired, by the two actually enjoying each other, and they're mad that OP is happy, because they aren't actually his friends. OP should date the girl, and distance himself from the toxic friends.
Insomniac 1 year ago
That is the absolute worst, when your friends try to use your autism to manipulate you. Those guys aren't his friends; they just saw someone they could take advantage of. Predators do that, and they pretend to be friends. I had a friend who tried to set me up with a guy older than my dad. A virgin (which I was at the time) was on his bucket list, and he was pushing 70 and in poor health. So she got his fishing boat if she got him a virgin. And she kept insisting that it's ageist to refuse to go out with someone because of their age, and I was being prejudiced, and I didn't understand how dating and promises are supposed to work because of my autism and I couldn't make her break her word to him. I had to ask a FB group if she was as out of line as I felt she was, because I was so confused by her gaslighting. They set me straight, and it's sad that Internet strangers cared more about my safety than a friend did. I'm glad Reddit helped that guy.
veryvenasaur 1 year ago
I've had people dare each other to ask me out. Those friends are horrible that stuff is traumatizing.
Tee 1 year ago (edited)
I remember in middle school it was a whole game for some of the guys to dare each other to ask out all the awkward/“unattractive” women and see how many they could get to say yes to going out with them. I ended up turning down anyone who asked me out, even if I did like them, because I couldn’t be sure if they were just playing this ‘game’ or not. Can’t believe there are grown adults that still act like this (well, unfortunately, I *can* actually believe it. It’s just ridiculous)
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ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
lol, when literally no one says YTA at all then the friends know they f****d up.
CBolt 1 year ago
The YTAers must have felt really frustrated by this one - just couldn't come up with anything.
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Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Laugh in their faces and never talk to them again. They're complete jerks who clearly see both you and Emily as figures of fun because you're both autistic and she's not supermodel thin (the horror). But their mean-spirited "prank" resulted in you meeting a wonderful girl, so treat it like the upside it is!
Just a boring person 1 year ago
Yeah, those aren't friends, they are AS*HOLES and false friends.
Trista Weidenborner 1 year ago
OP: I really enjoyed our date, Emily, we should do this again soon! Fake Friends: WTF, Man?! You were supposed to be super shallow and help us bully her! You’re ruining everything!
Dan St John 1 year ago
Many years ago I dated a lady and we didn't hit it off. She was nice, good looking, but no spark between us. I had a friend I thought she might like though and set them up on a blind date and they had a great time. They have been married now for over 15 years and are as happy as clams. This was the only time I ever did this and I still don't know why I even thought about setting them up.
Jaya 1 year ago
Why does he write "my friends", clearly he must mean "my former friends who I have cut contact with because I found out they are horrible people"? Setting a girl up as a joke because she's supposedly unattractive, is bullying. I could not be friends with someone who did that to some innocent girl (or boy).
Hinrik Ævarsson 1 year ago
I've met dudes like this. Acting like the teenage bullies they were even in their twenties. I can only hope they've grown up since, because the moment they drive by egged their victim since school and incidentally me as well they lost their status as humans in my eyes. If I could I would have thrown a rock through their windshield and had them die in a crash. It remains the angriest I've ever been in my life a full decade later. This guy I was walking with had a disability which made him more prone to addiction among other things. One hemisphere of his brain was smaller. For years they included him only to mess with him, started him smoking so now he gets shakes if he goes without, and even in his twenties they run into us at a shop, buy eggs and drive by egg him twice! If they've not reformed, I wish them a slow, painful death.
Hodge Elmwood 1 year ago
If these "friends" are in medicine, they will be the ones who tell every female patient that their health problems are all because they're fat.
Andy Frobig 1 year ago
If OP's friends know he's autistic, then their prank is at least twice as cruel as it would have been otherwise. Not only should they all be dropped as friends, but if they're also co-workers, this is a job for HR. The audacity to be mad at the person you tried to prank because their date went well should disqualify these people from public facing work, let alone friendship
Chris Wieder 1 year ago
This guy's friends are, in fact, f**ktards. I wish their names were posted for their future patients to avoid.
Alan Jay Weiner 1 year ago
The only good thing his friends did - *unintentionally* - was to introduce him to this wonderful woman. That said, dump the (non-)friends and keep the woman. Even if it doesn't work out with her, get rid of those jerks who would intentionally ridicule and hurt someone. My wife (32 years so far!) is not the slim athletic body I like. She's a bit chunky, not girly at all (never wears makeup, rarely jewelry, etc.), and not terribly athletic. But she's one of the kindest people I've ever met and she's got a smile that still makes me melt. I'm looking forward to another 32 years with her! (To be fair, I'm not what she'd have picked as "her type" either - I'm sure glad she took a chance and continued dating me!)
James Kistler 1 year ago
OK, now I am emotionally invested in their lives. I have to know if it works out. Do they marry? Have children? Who are his new supportive friends? What fast food restaurant do the douche friends end up working at when they are found to be cheating and expelled?
Spittnimage 1 year ago
Help! These people are gonna be doctors?! I hope they mature before they graduate med school.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes to the bone. OP needs new friends.
CBolt 1 year ago
Except there was no "com" to this - just cruelty & nastiness
Load More Replies... CBolt 1 year ago (edited)
What??? It's incredibly obvious who the AHs are & it's not you. They thought it was funny to set you up with somebody "not your type" - & they assumed your type was strictly based on body dimensions - that must be their criterion for judging women. & Then they're angry & accuse you of ruining what they considered a "harmless" prank? They should never have done it, hoping to embarrass you & didn't care a bit abt how it would make Emily feel - not funny. They're not your friends - they're cruel & insensitive jerks. But without even knowing it, you turned the tables on them & they actually did (completely not intending to) introduce you to someone who is your type: interesting, intelligent, fun to be with. I suppose an ironic, sarcastic "thank you" to them would go right over their mean little heads. The gigantic jerks.
Dave Morris 1 year ago
Just to add what loads have said. They are not friends, not decent people. Emily is your type. When you get married, they do not get an invite. All the best for the future!
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
I love this story. Obviously not the bullying part but the fact that these two managed to find each other is really sweet.
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
Op's friends' awful prank ended up being great for OP + Emily. Too bad the friends are f**kers. Hope OP drops them.
adobe blue 1 year ago
I used to have this idea that there should be an Ideal Woman dating site. This site would not contain size zero hotties who only care about themselves. It would contain profiles of real women who are generous, happy and successful. My friends often dated and married category 1, the hottie and they were miserable. These women did not want to have sex, were bad with money, didn't cook or clean, and had few outside interests. They needed to be catered to 24/7. Right around the corner was someone like Emily who didn't have any illusions about her looks but was up for a hike, would make you breakfast, who loved a good debate about the best NBA player. She didn't expect coddling. You get the idea. I think if men would come off all the preconceived ideas of what the ideal woman is ( and vice versa) there might be less divorce and more harmony for all.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 1 year ago
Hopefully he'll update that he's chucked the friends and married Emily
Lou Rich* 1 year ago
You saying "she's my new type" is the sweetest thing ever. I don't know how close you are to these friends of yours, but it sounds like they don't really know you at all if they thought you'd be so shallow. How did they meet this girl in order to set you up? Definitely NTA, except maybe for having such loser friends.
Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago (edited)
Like it's been said. Keep the girl and dump the idiots. They aren't your friends. And be on the lookout, they may try to sabotage you in other ways. As for her "size?" She's just more huggable!
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
Your "friends" set you up with someone they consider undesirable just to see your reaction, but are put out because the two of you hit it off? Sir, those are not friends, especially yours. They are Cretinious losers and bullies. Both you and Emily were supposed to be the punchline. But it failed miserably, thus ruining the moment for them. I'm sure that if you jog your memory, you may be able to recall a few other times where you were the victim of one of their "jokes." This one seems to have seriously crossed a line. Since you and Emily click, you two just keep on truckin' and dump the bunch of bullies. Also, be on your guard: they may attempt to sabotage your relationship. Congratulations on finding someone who is on your wavelength. If this should progress to a ring and wedding bells, unless you and Emily receive a genuine apology from the lot of them, keep them away. You two deserve all the happiness in the world.
Makenzie McNeal 1 year ago
Wtf why do adults act in this manner? I don't know any kids my own age who act like this so why are adults doing this I swear some people weren't raised right.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 1 year ago
Just because they're in school to become doctors doesn't mean they will all earn the degree. I'm betting more than a few of them will not make it to the end.
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LB 1 year ago
Right! If anything, the autism has made it difficult for OP to realize that these people don't make good friends. It feels nice to read so many reactions trying to help him see that.
Load More Replies... Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 1 year ago
Unfortunately sooo many men only "like" women they find attractive and think they can treat the rest like garbage - it's absolutely despicable. As a woman who is rather skinny, so many men are nice to me only to say absolutely horrible things about women who are not skinny and when I say something, they are surprised. Wtf did you expect? I would be flattered if you shït talk other women? Fat shaming women is an even worse epidemic than you think, people
Ms.GB 1 year ago (edited)
It's absolutely reprehensible. There are also so many ppl that will make fat jokes around me or other people because we aren't "fat" in their opinion and we should find it funny too right!? I put those people in the same category as ppl that think it's ok to say racist things around me because I'm white. We are not the same Jr KKK and I'm offended for everyone in my life and just nice ppl in general that aren't the right color for you. Then those ppl like to call anyone who doesn't agree with them a social justice warrior...if that's what you have to call me to feel better about being a s**t human being go ahead I guess. I mean let me get this straight: They set their friend up on a date with someone that they believed he wouldn't find attractive in the hopes that she would be hurt and he would be put in an awkward situation. Now that it turns out he didn't feel awkward about dating her and she didn't get rejected or hurt they are upset "because he ruined the joke?" What was the joke supposed to be...hurting 2 human beings, one of whom is a friend? The only thing I find remotely funny is that op's "friends" consider themselves friends or even decent human beings for that matter.
Load More Replies... Trillian 1 year ago
And those guys want to be doctors some day. Yeah well that explains a lot.
Rachel Hendricks 1 year ago
They sound like they're predestined to be surgeons. I've met only one surgeon who was not an arrogant AH, he is one of the best surgeons in my area, and he has not lost his empathy.
Load More Replies... G Bono 1 year ago
When my brother was in HS, his friends did the same to him, That was 1979 or 80. He and that girl just celebrated their 41 yrs anniversary. BTW, that skinny, "geeky" girl with big glasses and no social skills, (few were diagnosed as being on the spectrum then) went on to be a an amazing mother and a Neuro oncologist. Those "friends" who set up OP, may have been mean spirited, but they may have also given OP the 2 best gifts ever (introducing him to a great woman, and proving they're POS's. What's a shame is these AHs are going to be treating patients soon.
Rahul Pawa 1 year ago
I'm reminded me of the quote from the Princes Bride. "You keep using that word (friends). I do not think it means what you think it means."
SuperChicken 1 year ago
I know, right? Then again, I've met some 12-year olds who are more mature than these jackarses.
Load More Replies... François Bouzigues 1 year ago
To: OP From: me Subject: Friendship offer You seem like a great guy, but you could have better friends. I hereby apply to be your friend. I tend to discriminate people very quickly between "nice/intelligent" and "crazy/harmful". You defintely belong to the first category and your "friends" to the second. Since we are friends now, i encourage you to get to know more this young girl. I don´t know her. But i like the way you talk about her. Not all first dates work out that well. Go for it. Side note. From one buddy to another. Roads or girls, curves are lot of fun.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
WTF is wrong with people that they 1) set up an autistic "friend" for reaction, and another innocent girl for their own lols. What a bunch of kuntz. I wish this new couple all the love. I also hope he ditches those bullies.
N G 1 year ago
Op and the girl would make a nice couple. I hope they keep dating. Is there a follow up story to this?
Corvus 1 year ago
Ummm, so his 'friends" are upset that their attempt to hurt/humiliate him didn't work out? Oh no, the tragedy!
Vinnie 1 year ago
And they also wanted to humiliate the young woman - they're pissed off because he didn't.
Load More Replies... Kim Bailey 1 year ago
Some medical residents are awful humans...I don't know if it's a personality type or a reaction to sleep deprivation.
adobe blue 1 year ago
I wish there was an update. This would make an excellent Netflix movie and I might just steal the idea. Hopefully, this hard-working medical student and his cute geologist are living happily ever after.
Arabiata Arabiata 1 year ago
Is the OP seriously asking if he's AITA for dating a girl he likes? Is he a grown man? If I want to go out with a girl, I don't care about my "friends" opinion. Go buddy, go and be happy with her.
painttheyellowsubgreen 1 year ago
Being on the spectrum and diagnosed late has given him a skewed understanding of what friendship is. These "friends" are what has formed his idea of what friendship looks like. If at closing in on 30 they still act this way, imagine how much worse they were as teenagers. He didn't react the way they wanted/expected, and worse liked the girl they saw as a joke. Now he is going against the pack and having his first opinion based only on his thoughts and wants. It's pretty obvious when you read what he says about his usual type, if you reread that from the mindset of someone who thinks the chubby girl is a punch line it sounds gross. Remember that these guys went out of their way to directly hurt that girl when they didn't get what they wanted from OP. So yes he genuinely thinks he may be in the wrong, because he has been groomed to accept and agree with their toxicity. Now that something has happened that prompts him to think for himself and to directly oppose his friends viewpoint, he is confused and unsure if he is in the right.
Load More Replies... Adam Benson 1 year ago
Emily sounds awesome. Seriously, Keep her and ditch your so-called friends.
Apatheist Account2 1 year ago
It's the way to take ownership of the joke. It's one way to deal with bullies - if they do something to annoy you, enjoy it.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
This one time my friends set me up with the nerdiest girl in school, but after hanging out with her and a complete makeover we fell in love.
Deborah B 1 year ago
NTA - the "friends" sound like a******s. They're shallow, and care more about arbitrary beauty standards than personality and compatibility. They wanted to hurt and embarass this girl, and they were also trying to insult OP "The 'perfect' girl for you is not conventionally attractive, because you don't deserve to date a conventionally attractive person!" Now they're pissed because their "prank" misfired, by the two actually enjoying each other, and they're mad that OP is happy, because they aren't actually his friends. OP should date the girl, and distance himself from the toxic friends.
Insomniac 1 year ago
That is the absolute worst, when your friends try to use your autism to manipulate you. Those guys aren't his friends; they just saw someone they could take advantage of. Predators do that, and they pretend to be friends. I had a friend who tried to set me up with a guy older than my dad. A virgin (which I was at the time) was on his bucket list, and he was pushing 70 and in poor health. So she got his fishing boat if she got him a virgin. And she kept insisting that it's ageist to refuse to go out with someone because of their age, and I was being prejudiced, and I didn't understand how dating and promises are supposed to work because of my autism and I couldn't make her break her word to him. I had to ask a FB group if she was as out of line as I felt she was, because I was so confused by her gaslighting. They set me straight, and it's sad that Internet strangers cared more about my safety than a friend did. I'm glad Reddit helped that guy.
veryvenasaur 1 year ago
I've had people dare each other to ask me out. Those friends are horrible that stuff is traumatizing.
Tee 1 year ago (edited)
I remember in middle school it was a whole game for some of the guys to dare each other to ask out all the awkward/“unattractive” women and see how many they could get to say yes to going out with them. I ended up turning down anyone who asked me out, even if I did like them, because I couldn’t be sure if they were just playing this ‘game’ or not. Can’t believe there are grown adults that still act like this (well, unfortunately, I *can* actually believe it. It’s just ridiculous)
Load More Replies... ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
lol, when literally no one says YTA at all then the friends know they f****d up.
CBolt 1 year ago
The YTAers must have felt really frustrated by this one - just couldn't come up with anything.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Laugh in their faces and never talk to them again. They're complete jerks who clearly see both you and Emily as figures of fun because you're both autistic and she's not supermodel thin (the horror). But their mean-spirited "prank" resulted in you meeting a wonderful girl, so treat it like the upside it is!
Just a boring person 1 year ago
Yeah, those aren't friends, they are AS*HOLES and false friends.
Trista Weidenborner 1 year ago
OP: I really enjoyed our date, Emily, we should do this again soon! Fake Friends: WTF, Man?! You were supposed to be super shallow and help us bully her! You’re ruining everything!
Dan St John 1 year ago
Many years ago I dated a lady and we didn't hit it off. She was nice, good looking, but no spark between us. I had a friend I thought she might like though and set them up on a blind date and they had a great time. They have been married now for over 15 years and are as happy as clams. This was the only time I ever did this and I still don't know why I even thought about setting them up.
Jaya 1 year ago
Why does he write "my friends", clearly he must mean "my former friends who I have cut contact with because I found out they are horrible people"? Setting a girl up as a joke because she's supposedly unattractive, is bullying. I could not be friends with someone who did that to some innocent girl (or boy).
Hinrik Ævarsson 1 year ago
I've met dudes like this. Acting like the teenage bullies they were even in their twenties. I can only hope they've grown up since, because the moment they drive by egged their victim since school and incidentally me as well they lost their status as humans in my eyes. If I could I would have thrown a rock through their windshield and had them die in a crash. It remains the angriest I've ever been in my life a full decade later. This guy I was walking with had a disability which made him more prone to addiction among other things. One hemisphere of his brain was smaller. For years they included him only to mess with him, started him smoking so now he gets shakes if he goes without, and even in his twenties they run into us at a shop, buy eggs and drive by egg him twice! If they've not reformed, I wish them a slow, painful death.
Hodge Elmwood 1 year ago
If these "friends" are in medicine, they will be the ones who tell every female patient that their health problems are all because they're fat.
Andy Frobig 1 year ago
If OP's friends know he's autistic, then their prank is at least twice as cruel as it would have been otherwise. Not only should they all be dropped as friends, but if they're also co-workers, this is a job for HR. The audacity to be mad at the person you tried to prank because their date went well should disqualify these people from public facing work, let alone friendship
Chris Wieder 1 year ago
This guy's friends are, in fact, f**ktards. I wish their names were posted for their future patients to avoid.
Alan Jay Weiner 1 year ago
The only good thing his friends did - *unintentionally* - was to introduce him to this wonderful woman. That said, dump the (non-)friends and keep the woman. Even if it doesn't work out with her, get rid of those jerks who would intentionally ridicule and hurt someone. My wife (32 years so far!) is not the slim athletic body I like. She's a bit chunky, not girly at all (never wears makeup, rarely jewelry, etc.), and not terribly athletic. But she's one of the kindest people I've ever met and she's got a smile that still makes me melt. I'm looking forward to another 32 years with her! (To be fair, I'm not what she'd have picked as "her type" either - I'm sure glad she took a chance and continued dating me!)
James Kistler 1 year ago
OK, now I am emotionally invested in their lives. I have to know if it works out. Do they marry? Have children? Who are his new supportive friends? What fast food restaurant do the douche friends end up working at when they are found to be cheating and expelled?
Spittnimage 1 year ago
Help! These people are gonna be doctors?! I hope they mature before they graduate med school.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes to the bone. OP needs new friends.
CBolt 1 year ago
Except there was no "com" to this - just cruelty & nastiness
Load More Replies... CBolt 1 year ago (edited)
What??? It's incredibly obvious who the AHs are & it's not you. They thought it was funny to set you up with somebody "not your type" - & they assumed your type was strictly based on body dimensions - that must be their criterion for judging women. & Then they're angry & accuse you of ruining what they considered a "harmless" prank? They should never have done it, hoping to embarrass you & didn't care a bit abt how it would make Emily feel - not funny. They're not your friends - they're cruel & insensitive jerks. But without even knowing it, you turned the tables on them & they actually did (completely not intending to) introduce you to someone who is your type: interesting, intelligent, fun to be with. I suppose an ironic, sarcastic "thank you" to them would go right over their mean little heads. The gigantic jerks.
Dave Morris 1 year ago
Just to add what loads have said. They are not friends, not decent people. Emily is your type. When you get married, they do not get an invite. All the best for the future!
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
I love this story. Obviously not the bullying part but the fact that these two managed to find each other is really sweet.
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
Op's friends' awful prank ended up being great for OP + Emily. Too bad the friends are f**kers. Hope OP drops them.
adobe blue 1 year ago
I used to have this idea that there should be an Ideal Woman dating site. This site would not contain size zero hotties who only care about themselves. It would contain profiles of real women who are generous, happy and successful. My friends often dated and married category 1, the hottie and they were miserable. These women did not want to have sex, were bad with money, didn't cook or clean, and had few outside interests. They needed to be catered to 24/7. Right around the corner was someone like Emily who didn't have any illusions about her looks but was up for a hike, would make you breakfast, who loved a good debate about the best NBA player. She didn't expect coddling. You get the idea. I think if men would come off all the preconceived ideas of what the ideal woman is ( and vice versa) there might be less divorce and more harmony for all.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 1 year ago
Hopefully he'll update that he's chucked the friends and married Emily
Lou Rich* 1 year ago
You saying "she's my new type" is the sweetest thing ever. I don't know how close you are to these friends of yours, but it sounds like they don't really know you at all if they thought you'd be so shallow. How did they meet this girl in order to set you up? Definitely NTA, except maybe for having such loser friends.
Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago (edited)
Like it's been said. Keep the girl and dump the idiots. They aren't your friends. And be on the lookout, they may try to sabotage you in other ways. As for her "size?" She's just more huggable!
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
Your "friends" set you up with someone they consider undesirable just to see your reaction, but are put out because the two of you hit it off? Sir, those are not friends, especially yours. They are Cretinious losers and bullies. Both you and Emily were supposed to be the punchline. But it failed miserably, thus ruining the moment for them. I'm sure that if you jog your memory, you may be able to recall a few other times where you were the victim of one of their "jokes." This one seems to have seriously crossed a line. Since you and Emily click, you two just keep on truckin' and dump the bunch of bullies. Also, be on your guard: they may attempt to sabotage your relationship. Congratulations on finding someone who is on your wavelength. If this should progress to a ring and wedding bells, unless you and Emily receive a genuine apology from the lot of them, keep them away. You two deserve all the happiness in the world.
Makenzie McNeal 1 year ago
Wtf why do adults act in this manner? I don't know any kids my own age who act like this so why are adults doing this I swear some people weren't raised right.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 1 year ago
Just because they're in school to become doctors doesn't mean they will all earn the degree. I'm betting more than a few of them will not make it to the end.
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