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Man Can’t Let Go That GF Had An Emergency C-Section, Is Upset She’s Sensitive About It
Woman with distressed expression reflecting on traumatic birth experience and emotional conflict with boyfriend.
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Man Can’t Let Go That GF Had An Emergency C-Section, Is Upset She’s Sensitive About It

Interview With Expert
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Childbirth, whichever form it takes, is the most powerful experience ever, and no one should be able to take that away from moms

Unfortunately, in this story, a woman shared feeling less than after giving birth to her son because her boyfriend told her, on several occasions, that she took an ‘easy way out’ since she had to have an emergency C-section. Despite asking him to stop with such comments, he just got annoyed by it, which pushed her to turn to some guidance online.

Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with a doula and childbirth educator, Maeva Althaus, who kindly agreed to share her insights on the stigma surrounding C-sections.

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    Women should feel empowered and supported during and after pregnancy

    Image credits: Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    Unfortunately, this woman felt anything but because her partner accused her of taking an “easy way out,” as she had an emergency C-section

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    Image credits: Daniel Martinez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Choice_Writer9248

    Image credits: George Dagerotip / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    About 46% of pregnancies involve unexpected complications

    There’s no such thing as a “perfect” birth, except for the one that is safe and ends with a healthy mom and baby. That said, many moms (sometimes even their partners and family included) strive to have a natural experience without resorting to medical intervention. In reality, the risk of complications during birth is significant, with about 46% of pregnancies involving unexpected complications.

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    While having a positive mindset towards birth can help moms go into labor more relaxed and confident (which can make labor go faster and less painful, too!), forming an ideal image without keeping in mind the risks that it might come with can be damaging if it doesn’t go as expected.

    Parents who prioritize ‘ideal’ birth may refuse necessary medical intervention, which can put both the baby’s and mom’s lives at risk. Moms’ mental health also can take a hit if the perfect image of birth they had in mind doesn’t materialize.

    A doula and childbirth educator, Maeva Althaus, explains that this idealized view of birth comes from unrealistic societal expectations.

    “We live in a society where women are held to some impossible standards and a culture that puts too much emphasis on performance and control. The unspoken pressure to have the “perfect” pregnancy, the “ideal” birth, a “fast” recovery can leave some women feeling like they failed,” she says.

    “A lot of the thinking in the birth world is very binary: natural versus medical and “natural is best” can contribute to a sense of failure in women who had cesareans.”

    Image credits: Christian Bowen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    “The truth is that birth is unpredictable—and no one can control every outcome”

    It’s important that the stigma surrounding C-sections is reduced, as necessary C-sections save lives, stresses Althaus.

    “The conversation should focus on how systems can better support physiology and safety—not shame the outcome. Often there is this idea that a C-section is the “easy way out’ and that you ‘did not really give birth,’ but the truth is that birth is unpredictable—and no one can control every outcome.”

    Focusing on health education and healthcare access that engage both men and women can help to dispel the myths and misinformation surrounding C-sections, which can be very harmful to moms’ and newborns’ lives.

    “People should know that a C-section birth is a powerful, courageous, and often deeply emotional experience. As a doula, I know that a surgical birth requires just as much strength, presence, and support in the lead-up and after,” reassuringly concludes Althaus.

    Readers were appalled by the boyfriend’s remarks, saying any form of childbirth is anything but easy, and sharing their own stories

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    Austeja Zokaite

    Austeja Zokaite

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. My mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

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    Austeja Zokaite

    Austeja Zokaite

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. My mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

    Read less »

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know. Even if it wasn’t about a traumatic birth experience, who hears someone say “you’re upsetting me by saying that,” and keeps purposely upsetting them rather than apologising and stopping. He doesn’t care about her feelings at all.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a simple name for someone who keeps trying to make a joke they find funny, but the object of their joke doesn't: He's a bully. He doesn't care about his wife's feelings at all, just that he can make his pathetic joke.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And he’s STILL doing it six months after the birth?! Something is wrong with this troglodyte. I’ve never given birth but I still know that recovering from surgery is HARD, and she was PREGNANT leading up to it, and now hasta carry a weight with her everywhere she goes while her muscles and nerves are trying to knit, and he’s NEEDLING her?! Whatever for? I truly hope she gets rid of him as she doesn’t need that аsshole in her life!

    Load More Replies...
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    arthbach
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He has said she's making a fuss over nothing. If it is 'nothing' then why does he keep harping on about it?! He's a major jerk having been told this is not amusing, and hurtful, and yet he persists. A C-section is major abdominal surgery, and then on top of that you have all the normal new-born baby related things. It is not an easy option. If anyone thinks it is, then show them this video of a midwife explaining what's involved. (It is an educational video, and there are NO images of surgery.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_cSTcoasTU

    Load More Comments
    Zoe Vokes
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know. Even if it wasn’t about a traumatic birth experience, who hears someone say “you’re upsetting me by saying that,” and keeps purposely upsetting them rather than apologising and stopping. He doesn’t care about her feelings at all.

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a simple name for someone who keeps trying to make a joke they find funny, but the object of their joke doesn't: He's a bully. He doesn't care about his wife's feelings at all, just that he can make his pathetic joke.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And he’s STILL doing it six months after the birth?! Something is wrong with this troglodyte. I’ve never given birth but I still know that recovering from surgery is HARD, and she was PREGNANT leading up to it, and now hasta carry a weight with her everywhere she goes while her muscles and nerves are trying to knit, and he’s NEEDLING her?! Whatever for? I truly hope she gets rid of him as she doesn’t need that аsshole in her life!

    Load More Replies...
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    arthbach
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He has said she's making a fuss over nothing. If it is 'nothing' then why does he keep harping on about it?! He's a major jerk having been told this is not amusing, and hurtful, and yet he persists. A C-section is major abdominal surgery, and then on top of that you have all the normal new-born baby related things. It is not an easy option. If anyone thinks it is, then show them this video of a midwife explaining what's involved. (It is an educational video, and there are NO images of surgery.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_cSTcoasTU

    Load More Comments
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