Pregnant Woman Discovers Her Husband’s Cheating On Her, Ends Up Banning Him From The Delivery Room
The birth of a child is one of the most important days in the life of any person, and according to many parents, the presence of the father during childbirth allows for closer family bonding, which is why many doctors strongly recommend partnered births. In many cases, but the situation that we will tell you about today is special.
Very few people are able to forgive adultery, and if it took place during pregnancy, it almost always looks like a real betrayal. In the vast majority of cases, this ends in divorce – as in this story. However, here the divorce was only the beginning…
This story was shared just over a week ago on Reddit’s True Off My Chest community, and has already racked up over 13.7K upvotes and nearly 2K different comments. As is usual in such situations, the author of the post just wanted to express her feelings – and indeed, the vast majority of readers simply supported the expectant mother.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post was pregnant when she found out that her husband cheated on her
Image credits: Fabio Goveia (not the actual image)
So, our heroine had been married for several years. She and her husband were trying for a baby for a long time, and finally the OP got pregnant. Though her joy, unfortunately, did not last long – after all, a few months later, she found out that her husband had cheated with one of his colleagues at work.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
The woman told her now-ex that she doesn’t want him in the delivery room
We will not go into details now about how painful the divorce process became for the Original Poster right during her pregnancy, but the fact remains that she will soon become an ex-wife, and after some more time, she will give birth to her child. Of course, now the woman does not want her husband to be present in the delivery room, and she told him so directly.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
Our heroine admits that she herself did not even expect such a surge of indignation from the future father. Yes, they will apparently be arranging separate custody of the child, but still, according to the OP, she does not want her ex-husband to see her body and be present at the birth.
Image credits: David Syzdek (not the actual image)
The expectant mom states this is no way an attempt to punish her ex, but this is just her body and her own right
The OP says that her decision is in no way an attempt to punish her ex, but both he and his relatives consider her wicked and evil now. The only one who supports the expectant mother is her MIL, for which the woman is very grateful. In any case, as the OP plans, she does not object in any way to the ex-husband being present at the hospital.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
The man can wait with all the other relatives in the hospital, just the delivery, in any case, will take place without him. And the OP, inspired by the support of the commenters, in her own words, will try to start a new life. Moreover, as she says, in recent months she has become closely acquainted with one kind person, and she hopes that this acquaintance will develop into something more in the nearest future.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
It is weird for the ex-husband to expect any partnered childbirth when he’s no longer a partner, psychologist says
“Of course, the Original Poster’s husband acted completely inappropriately,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, who was asked by Bored Panda to comment on this situation. “It is at least weird for an ex-husband to even think about partnered childbirth when he is no longer a partner for an expectant mother.”
Image credits: u/[deleted]
“In any case, this woman has every right to decide how and in whose presence she will give birth to her baby, and none of the relatives have the right to blame her for this. Moreover, she should not even tell her ex-husband that she does not want to see him in the delivery room. She just could tell the doctors who can be present and who’s not, and then they will do everything themselves,” says Irina Matveeva.
Image credits: Skinny Guy Lover (not the actual image)
Commenters unanimously side with the expectant mom and just wish her a smooth and safe delivery
Many people in the comments agree with the expert. In their opinion, if relatives and acquaintances call the OP a “devil”, then she should act like a devil, literally spitting on their opinions. In any case, as commenters are convinced, the most important thing now is the health of the future mom and her child, and that the delivery goes smoothly and successfully.
According to commenters, the ex-hubby just made his bed and now he’s upset he has to lie in it. By cheating on his pregnant wife, the man lost his privilege – yes, that’s not a right, but a privilege, and arguing with him and other relatives means simply wasting time on people who are unworthy of it. And, of course, everyone wants the OP to have a smooth and safe delivery.
We sincerely hope that none of you have experienced something like this in your entire life, but if you do know such a story, it will be interesting and useful for us to know it as well. In addition, we, as always, look forward to your comments.
Even if they were still together and happy, she STILL wouldn't be the AH if she didn't want him in the room during the birth. Personally, I've never understood why anyone would want to watch a baby split a person open anyway, but maybe that's just me. 🤷🏼♂️
Personally I'd like to be there to support my partner and see the baby as soon as possible even if I'm told they look pretty gross. I wouldn't think many wants to witness the birth part, but with people filming it I'm probably wrong in thinking so.
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There wasn't even a need for her to clarify that she's not "punishing" him. She doesn't want him there, THE END. The fact that the MIL of all people is on her side is very, very telling.
Agreed. "No" is a full sentence. OP owes him nothing. Not an explanation, not him being in the room, nothing. It is something she will experience and she gets to choose who she experiences it with. If she says no, then no. End of story.
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My cheating ex husband didn't get to be in the delivery room either. I drove myself after my water broke. Stopped at Starbucks and got a breakfast sandwhich and gave birth in the hospital by myself with two amazing push nurses. Ex was mad but he was also busy posting pictures of his new girlfriend and blended family of his kids (from 1st marriage) and hers on Facebook while I was 7 months pregnant.
Personally, I don't think I could be in the same room while someone I love is screaming in pain. If they needed me, sure, but their pain would hurt me.
I was with my mother when she was lying very sick in the ICU and with my daughter when she delivered her child. I remember both their pain and it did hurt me (though it has to be said, the two examples are very different). But I know the feeling of not being there for them when they needed me would hurt me infinitely more. My advice is that if you feel you're needed (or are asked) don't hesitate fo a moment.
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My concern here would be that the father would use this as a way to poison the kid against his mom in the future. How he wasn't "allowed" in the delivery room or was forced to "miss" the sons birth because of his mom.
Legit. A friend of mine left her boyfriend while she was pregnant because he got drunk and hit her. She was 7 months along and did NOT give him a second chance. Apparently at the hospital, he got kicked out because he demanded to be in the delivery room and punched a male nurse. Their child is 5 now and the dad is STILL a piece of s**t loser who, when he talks to his daughter on the phone, paints my friend in a negative light. "I'm sorry your mom won't let you see me." (He's jobless and moved back home with his mom across several states). "I'm sorry your mom won't let me in your life." That kind of BS. And the worst part is her daughter does get upset at her because she believes these lies that baby daddy has said. It's so jacked up.
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This isn’t about him having a wonderful birth experience. It’s about her comfort and feeling supported during the physical and emotional aspects of birth. It’s not an equal experience and he doesn’t have the right to be there.
Good for you banishing him from the delivery room. No way he belongs there. He gave up that right by cheating on you. Good for you, having the strength to divorce him now. Good for MIL to support you and stay with you in the delivery room. She will be a great grandma.
He's an utter shitbag for cheating on his wife when they were trying to get pregnant. He has absolutely nothing to stand on. If he is beside himself with grief that he can't be in the delivery room, he should understand that he has absolutely no-one to blame but himself. In fact, he should be explaining to others what he did, and that it's his own fault he won't be there. This is absolutely infuriating. I may be bringing my own baggage, because my wife is currently finally pregnant after trying for years, but I would like to think I would be similarly outraged if that wasn't my current situation.
This is not about the baby, but about an irresponsible man-child wanting to tick off a bucket-list experience: "I watched my child come into the world". Not his choice, not his right, not up for negotiation.
She doesn't have to explain herself in this situation,he cheated and they're divorcing,he has no part watching her birthed the baby from here on.Yes he is the biological dad to the baby but nothing more so stay away from the lady.Her mil though... deserves lots of love,a wonderful person
I should really really think not. Actually my DH came into the labour ward when I was having my first, Believe me you DO NOT want them there. They are either telling you how to do it, or they are threatening to faint and directing the medical staff away from you
Hopefully she can tell the doctors + nurses not to let him in. SHE'S the patient + she has rights.
This whole idea that "staying in a broken relationship in the name of doing what's best for the kids" is literally one of the most ridiculous, toxic & absolutely ignorant things human beings have convinced each other of. As a child of divorced parents who "stayed together for the sake of their children" I can tell you right now that it isn't what's best for them. unless you can work on & fix the broken parts of the marriage (or yourselves) then it might be worth a try to keep at it a bit. But if you aren't willing to do that for your kids then staying in a relationship with someone who hurt you, who you won't ever forgive or trust again or who you no longer feel the same way about is going to damage your kids more than a divorce will. My parents fought constantly.. even when they pretended everything was fine, us kids knew they weren't. We knew they hated eachother & it caused a lot childhood trauma. NGL. They were toxic together r (1/2)
It was SO MUCH EASIER AFTER THEY GOT DIVORCED! Staying with a person who brings out the worst in you & who disrespected you on such a large scale isn't going to make your kids happy.. it's going to do the opposite because how can you be happy & be a good parent when you're lying to your kids everyday about loving your spouse & hiding the truth from them? That's only going to create more resentment & problems for you especially! Nobody should ever feel like they cannot leave a person just because they have kids. Of course in a perfect world ppl wouldn't cheat or break up their families.. but who's to say your kids lives can't be just as good as it would be if their parents stayed together? I can say that if you're unhappy in your marriage & living a life you aren't satisfied w/ of that you've had to compromise for... that's not going to create a healthy environment for you! So how do you then go on to crest one for them! Everyone seat one w/ someone who respects & loves them! Everyone!
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It's not even about cheating. Your body belongs to you, a delivery is a very , very private moment, one of the most important moments of your life, if not THE most important one. (I had four moments;)) You decide about everything. Light, music or no music, food, temperature (if you can change it) colors... (I've seen purple sheets on the lamps to lessen the brightness of hospital lights for the baby) Obviously you decide who is in the room! And where the person is. Is shevallowed to watch the actual birth? Like staring between your legs. Or standing by your head? You decide. You go girl! All the best for you!
As far as anthropologists know, in almost every society, the men are not present when women give birth. For better or for worse, that is the tradition. Now, in the US, the father HAS to be there, even if neither he nor the mother wants him there. I would NOT want my husband with me where I to have another child. (I'm too old for that now, anyway.) Either the husband is faking being upset. Or, he really is upset, but only because he was taught he had to want to be there. Nobody wants to be there that badly in reality.
I wanted my husband there. To help get me through the contractions, get me stuff, be a supporter against the medical stuff when necessary- and then I was to weak to hold my baby, so she was in her fathers arms the first hour or so. But as I said above, every woman should do as she pleases. Without any hard feelings.
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Ex or not. The woman gets to decide if anyone is allowed in the delivery room. Even a husband is not entitled to that unless his wife wants him there. Her body, her choice.
I completely understand her- clearly he doesn't want to see her body
"No" is a full sentence. OP owes him nothing. Not an explanation, not him being in the room, nothing. It is something she will experience and she gets to choose who she experiences it with. If she says no, then no. End of story. He made his decision, and now he has to deal with the consequences of his choices.
I can NOT for the life of me understand people that are in the process of divorce or just divorced and they immediately jump into another relationship, she's still pregnant and is already with someone new. Her former husband cheated on her and she still gets right into another one. No healing, no self care, just BAM another man. So f*****g stupid.
If you're man enough to make a baby then you can nut up and help your lady face the consequences of giving birth
I feel like maybe there is some reading comprehension issues here. She doesn't want him to help her.
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you are wrong. the mother needs to have the support, someone she can trust, who would help her in the hours before the actual pushing, who would hold her hand during pushing and say nice words. the ex would only cause her stress which is detrimental for the birth itself. it is not a spectacle to watch. also he shouldnt be there to see her naked chest when they put the baby on her. the baby needs the mother in the first few hours, it will not remember if father was there or not. he can come after the bonding time when they are all dressed and well rested.
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I doubt the kid will remember the day he was born and be disappointed that the father didn't show up.
Load More Replies... Even if they were still together and happy, she STILL wouldn't be the AH if she didn't want him in the room during the birth. Personally, I've never understood why anyone would want to watch a baby split a person open anyway, but maybe that's just me. 🤷🏼♂️
Personally I'd like to be there to support my partner and see the baby as soon as possible even if I'm told they look pretty gross. I wouldn't think many wants to witness the birth part, but with people filming it I'm probably wrong in thinking so.
Load More Replies... There wasn't even a need for her to clarify that she's not "punishing" him. She doesn't want him there, THE END. The fact that the MIL of all people is on her side is very, very telling.
Agreed. "No" is a full sentence. OP owes him nothing. Not an explanation, not him being in the room, nothing. It is something she will experience and she gets to choose who she experiences it with. If she says no, then no. End of story.
Load More Replies... My cheating ex husband didn't get to be in the delivery room either. I drove myself after my water broke. Stopped at Starbucks and got a breakfast sandwhich and gave birth in the hospital by myself with two amazing push nurses. Ex was mad but he was also busy posting pictures of his new girlfriend and blended family of his kids (from 1st marriage) and hers on Facebook while I was 7 months pregnant.
Personally, I don't think I could be in the same room while someone I love is screaming in pain. If they needed me, sure, but their pain would hurt me.
I was with my mother when she was lying very sick in the ICU and with my daughter when she delivered her child. I remember both their pain and it did hurt me (though it has to be said, the two examples are very different). But I know the feeling of not being there for them when they needed me would hurt me infinitely more. My advice is that if you feel you're needed (or are asked) don't hesitate fo a moment.
Load More Replies... My concern here would be that the father would use this as a way to poison the kid against his mom in the future. How he wasn't "allowed" in the delivery room or was forced to "miss" the sons birth because of his mom.
Legit. A friend of mine left her boyfriend while she was pregnant because he got drunk and hit her. She was 7 months along and did NOT give him a second chance. Apparently at the hospital, he got kicked out because he demanded to be in the delivery room and punched a male nurse. Their child is 5 now and the dad is STILL a piece of s**t loser who, when he talks to his daughter on the phone, paints my friend in a negative light. "I'm sorry your mom won't let you see me." (He's jobless and moved back home with his mom across several states). "I'm sorry your mom won't let me in your life." That kind of BS. And the worst part is her daughter does get upset at her because she believes these lies that baby daddy has said. It's so jacked up.
Load More Replies... This isn’t about him having a wonderful birth experience. It’s about her comfort and feeling supported during the physical and emotional aspects of birth. It’s not an equal experience and he doesn’t have the right to be there.
Good for you banishing him from the delivery room. No way he belongs there. He gave up that right by cheating on you. Good for you, having the strength to divorce him now. Good for MIL to support you and stay with you in the delivery room. She will be a great grandma.
He's an utter shitbag for cheating on his wife when they were trying to get pregnant. He has absolutely nothing to stand on. If he is beside himself with grief that he can't be in the delivery room, he should understand that he has absolutely no-one to blame but himself. In fact, he should be explaining to others what he did, and that it's his own fault he won't be there. This is absolutely infuriating. I may be bringing my own baggage, because my wife is currently finally pregnant after trying for years, but I would like to think I would be similarly outraged if that wasn't my current situation.
This is not about the baby, but about an irresponsible man-child wanting to tick off a bucket-list experience: "I watched my child come into the world". Not his choice, not his right, not up for negotiation.
She doesn't have to explain herself in this situation,he cheated and they're divorcing,he has no part watching her birthed the baby from here on.Yes he is the biological dad to the baby but nothing more so stay away from the lady.Her mil though... deserves lots of love,a wonderful person
I should really really think not. Actually my DH came into the labour ward when I was having my first, Believe me you DO NOT want them there. They are either telling you how to do it, or they are threatening to faint and directing the medical staff away from you
Hopefully she can tell the doctors + nurses not to let him in. SHE'S the patient + she has rights.
This whole idea that "staying in a broken relationship in the name of doing what's best for the kids" is literally one of the most ridiculous, toxic & absolutely ignorant things human beings have convinced each other of. As a child of divorced parents who "stayed together for the sake of their children" I can tell you right now that it isn't what's best for them. unless you can work on & fix the broken parts of the marriage (or yourselves) then it might be worth a try to keep at it a bit. But if you aren't willing to do that for your kids then staying in a relationship with someone who hurt you, who you won't ever forgive or trust again or who you no longer feel the same way about is going to damage your kids more than a divorce will. My parents fought constantly.. even when they pretended everything was fine, us kids knew they weren't. We knew they hated eachother & it caused a lot childhood trauma. NGL. They were toxic together r (1/2)
It was SO MUCH EASIER AFTER THEY GOT DIVORCED! Staying with a person who brings out the worst in you & who disrespected you on such a large scale isn't going to make your kids happy.. it's going to do the opposite because how can you be happy & be a good parent when you're lying to your kids everyday about loving your spouse & hiding the truth from them? That's only going to create more resentment & problems for you especially! Nobody should ever feel like they cannot leave a person just because they have kids. Of course in a perfect world ppl wouldn't cheat or break up their families.. but who's to say your kids lives can't be just as good as it would be if their parents stayed together? I can say that if you're unhappy in your marriage & living a life you aren't satisfied w/ of that you've had to compromise for... that's not going to create a healthy environment for you! So how do you then go on to crest one for them! Everyone seat one w/ someone who respects & loves them! Everyone!
Load More Replies... It's not even about cheating. Your body belongs to you, a delivery is a very , very private moment, one of the most important moments of your life, if not THE most important one. (I had four moments;)) You decide about everything. Light, music or no music, food, temperature (if you can change it) colors... (I've seen purple sheets on the lamps to lessen the brightness of hospital lights for the baby) Obviously you decide who is in the room! And where the person is. Is shevallowed to watch the actual birth? Like staring between your legs. Or standing by your head? You decide. You go girl! All the best for you!
As far as anthropologists know, in almost every society, the men are not present when women give birth. For better or for worse, that is the tradition. Now, in the US, the father HAS to be there, even if neither he nor the mother wants him there. I would NOT want my husband with me where I to have another child. (I'm too old for that now, anyway.) Either the husband is faking being upset. Or, he really is upset, but only because he was taught he had to want to be there. Nobody wants to be there that badly in reality.
I wanted my husband there. To help get me through the contractions, get me stuff, be a supporter against the medical stuff when necessary- and then I was to weak to hold my baby, so she was in her fathers arms the first hour or so. But as I said above, every woman should do as she pleases. Without any hard feelings.
Load More Replies... Ex or not. The woman gets to decide if anyone is allowed in the delivery room. Even a husband is not entitled to that unless his wife wants him there. Her body, her choice.
I completely understand her- clearly he doesn't want to see her body
"No" is a full sentence. OP owes him nothing. Not an explanation, not him being in the room, nothing. It is something she will experience and she gets to choose who she experiences it with. If she says no, then no. End of story. He made his decision, and now he has to deal with the consequences of his choices.
I can NOT for the life of me understand people that are in the process of divorce or just divorced and they immediately jump into another relationship, she's still pregnant and is already with someone new. Her former husband cheated on her and she still gets right into another one. No healing, no self care, just BAM another man. So f*****g stupid.
If you're man enough to make a baby then you can nut up and help your lady face the consequences of giving birth
I feel like maybe there is some reading comprehension issues here. She doesn't want him to help her.
Load More Replies... you are wrong. the mother needs to have the support, someone she can trust, who would help her in the hours before the actual pushing, who would hold her hand during pushing and say nice words. the ex would only cause her stress which is detrimental for the birth itself. it is not a spectacle to watch. also he shouldnt be there to see her naked chest when they put the baby on her. the baby needs the mother in the first few hours, it will not remember if father was there or not. he can come after the bonding time when they are all dressed and well rested.
Load More Replies... I doubt the kid will remember the day he was born and be disappointed that the father didn't show up.
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