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“[Am I The Jerk] For Leaving The Engagement Dinner Due To My Fiancée’s Obsession With The Dog?”
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“[Am I The Jerk] For Leaving The Engagement Dinner Due To My Fiancée’s Obsession With The Dog?”

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More than ten thousand years ago, humans domesticated a dog, and since then, people and canines have been going through history together, presenting more and more new examples of beautiful friendship. Balto and Hachiko, Greyfriars Bobby and Patron are definitely our best friends and we love them back. Sometimes even excessively…

For example, the heroine of our story which first appeared a few days ago in the AITA Reddit community as a post by the user u/National-Paint-7928 was so obsessed with her doggo that it even cost her a big quarrel with her fiancé one day…

The author of the post recently proposed to his girlfriend, and they appointed their wedding to the upcoming year

Image credits: Samson Katt (not the actual image)

The only thing which embarrassed the man was that his sweetheart loved her dog to bits

Image credits: u/National-Paint-7928

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Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual image)

Image credits: u/National-Paint-7928

The woman often texted the author only questions on the dog’s health, and he thought she was being overreactive here

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Image credits: Angelo Moleele (not the actual image)

Image credits: u/National-Paint-7928

When the man arranged an engagement trip for them, the woman literally clung to her phone, repeatedly asking the sitter for updates on the pet

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So, the Original Poster (OP) recently proposed to his girlfriend, and the couple planned their wedding for next year. The 27-year-old woman has a 5 Y.O. golden retriever mix, and if he were a man, our hero would definitely become jealous – after all, his fiancee not only dotes on the dog, she simply devotes her whole life to caring for her furry friend.

In particular, as the author of the post recalls, the woman has left her jobs several times if she was not allowed to work remotely so that she could be near her pet. As for the man, as a child, he had several bad experiences with dogs, so he is still wary of them.

But you definitely know golden retrievers and their incredible friendliness! So the OP, in his own words, has also made friends with the doggo, and since he works from home 3 days a week, he often stays to look after the pet. And even so, the author sometimes gets upset as the only texts he gets from his sweetheart these days are her questions concerning the dog and its health and behavior.

On the other hand, who among us is devoid of any quirks? But their recent engagement trip actually became the last straw for the original poster. He reserved a nice restaurant for them, booked a hotel, and since the dog is still not the best companion for these kinds of dinners, it was left at home under the supervision of one of the couple’s friends. Under her oath to report in detail how the dog was doing every two hours…

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On that day, as the man recalls, everything went wrong from the very beginning. At first they had to wait for half an hour for a table to open, and when the couple did sit down at the table, the woman simply did not let go of her phone, constantly inquiring about the health of her beloved pet. Her body was sitting with the OP at the table in the restaurant, but her soul and thoughts were at home, next to the dog…

In the end, the man’s patience literally snapped. He paid for the dinner and just left. A scandal broke out in the car with mutual reproaches, and now the woman is thinking about going to stay with her parents. However, the original poster does not at all believe that he is somehow guilty in this situation.

Image credits: Jep Gambardella (not the actual image)

However, this is not surprising at all – after all, millennials today are the largest pet-owning cohort of Americans, but the reasons for adopting a dog and, in general, the attitude to canines in this generation differ significantly from the previous leaders in this indicator – baby boomers.

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“For America’s newest adopters, a dog can be many things: a dry run for parenthood, a way of putting down roots when traditional milestones feel out of reach, an enthusiastic housemate for people likely to spend stretches of their 20s and 30s living alone,” Amanda Mull, health columnist for the Atlantic, writes in her related article. “Dogs, long practical partners in rural life or playmates for affluent children, have become a life stage unto themselves.”

Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and a certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda approached for a comment on this story, agrees with this too. “In a number of ways, this woman treats her dog like a small child. Just imagine a new mom who is forced to leave on business, leaving her baby in the care of friends or relatives. Then such behavior will immediately become more clear.”

“On the other hand, this is not a baby or a toddler, but a completely adult canine, left for a day to a friend whom both partners obviously trust. And now such anxiety looks a bit strange. Perhaps the woman had some reason for such an attitude to her pet before – maybe it came out of a serious illness when it was a puppy. Who knows? In any case, there is no need to quarrel here – they just need to discuss this issue in detail. Together or with the help of a specialist. And the sooner this happens, so much the better,” Irina opines.

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As for the commenters, they directly ask the original poster how he managed to propose to a woman who doesn’t give a damn about anything except her dog. Most folks in the comments advise the man to reconsider his engagement and possibly refuse. “Better now than when it’s too late,” one of the commenters simply wrote. On the other hand, it is always easy to give advice without knowing all the nuances of a particular life situation. So what would you, dear readers, do if you were the author of this post?

The man got fed up and left the dinner – and folks in the comments supported him, even asking him to cancel the wedding altogether

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH. OP is TA for recognizing that his fiancée has an issue and doing nothing except expecting her to get over it. Did you ask why? Did you ask what you could do to help? No. You think she's silly and should get over herself. Fiancée is TA for being old enough to marry, but lacking the self-reflection to realize her issue is slopping over onto her relationship. Honestly, I don't either of you is mature enough to commit to marriage. This sounds like a relationship of convenience that has become inconvenient to both of you.

lakotasilverthree avatar
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a pretty severely disabled dog and I’m not NEARLY as worried/obsessed with him as OP’s fiancée! I feel like there’s something that OP is leaving out (such as, the dog is disabled, the dog is ill, fiancée lost her previous dog to an accident with a petsitter, etc.) If not, then yes, the fiancée does have something wrong and she perhaps needs help as she’s a little overly involved with her dog. I agree that OP needs to do some compassionate help/questioning as well - WHY is fiancée this way? With my disabled pup, we have to accept that something MIGHT happen to him if we’re out shopping etc., we can’t obsess over him 24/7. That's unhealthy.

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sharkeydsc avatar
Aline
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is clearly not a new issues why propose if you can't accept this? If a few hours away during the week is an issue, why would you plan a holiday and leave the dog? I'm not saying the fiancée has a healthy approach, just saying, clearly OP isn't ready to marry her as she is now. Either the dog issues are worth the price of admission, or they aren't, but if the dog is 5, this is not a new problem.

nightshade1972 avatar
Nightshade1972
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My guess is, this was a "test" dreamed up by OP. He probably thought that if *she* thought, "Ooh, I wonder if he's gonna propose to me this weekend!" she'd be less likely to obsess over the dog. Now that he *knows* she cares more about the dog than about him, I'd strongly suggest to him that he move on, since she clearly failed his "test."

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nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH. OP is TA for recognizing that his fiancée has an issue and doing nothing except expecting her to get over it. Did you ask why? Did you ask what you could do to help? No. You think she's silly and should get over herself. Fiancée is TA for being old enough to marry, but lacking the self-reflection to realize her issue is slopping over onto her relationship. Honestly, I don't either of you is mature enough to commit to marriage. This sounds like a relationship of convenience that has become inconvenient to both of you.

lakotasilverthree avatar
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a pretty severely disabled dog and I’m not NEARLY as worried/obsessed with him as OP’s fiancée! I feel like there’s something that OP is leaving out (such as, the dog is disabled, the dog is ill, fiancée lost her previous dog to an accident with a petsitter, etc.) If not, then yes, the fiancée does have something wrong and she perhaps needs help as she’s a little overly involved with her dog. I agree that OP needs to do some compassionate help/questioning as well - WHY is fiancée this way? With my disabled pup, we have to accept that something MIGHT happen to him if we’re out shopping etc., we can’t obsess over him 24/7. That's unhealthy.

Load More Replies...
sharkeydsc avatar
Aline
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is clearly not a new issues why propose if you can't accept this? If a few hours away during the week is an issue, why would you plan a holiday and leave the dog? I'm not saying the fiancée has a healthy approach, just saying, clearly OP isn't ready to marry her as she is now. Either the dog issues are worth the price of admission, or they aren't, but if the dog is 5, this is not a new problem.

nightshade1972 avatar
Nightshade1972
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My guess is, this was a "test" dreamed up by OP. He probably thought that if *she* thought, "Ooh, I wonder if he's gonna propose to me this weekend!" she'd be less likely to obsess over the dog. Now that he *knows* she cares more about the dog than about him, I'd strongly suggest to him that he move on, since she clearly failed his "test."

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