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Human beings love to talk—it’s part of what makes us social creatures. But eventually, we all run into the same lesson, usually through our own painful experience: knowing when to keep quiet matters just as much as knowing what to say. If not more.
So when one Redditor asked users to share their “I need to learn to keep my mouth shut” moments, plenty of people had stories ready to go. We’ve gathered some of the most memorable ones below—scroll down to read them and remember that sometimes, silence really is golden.
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#1
When I was in my late teens, a long time ago, except I didn't really learn. My dad's job involved entertaining government officials. My dad often took me to fairly boring official functions, and sometimes there were groups of teens around. So when some politician showed up with a girl around my age, I thought she was his daughter. I took her elbow and said "let's leave the old farts to their work dinner, the fun kiddy table is over there!" Turns out she was his girlfriend. My had turned pale and hissed at me, but later that night, he said he actually wanted to applaud me. He gave me some extra spending money and said there was more where that came from if I kept blurting out that kind of thing, as long as I looked completely innocent about it.
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#2
My employer created a new position for me. I looked at the proposal and pointed out to my boss that it looked like the job classification had been set too high since the recommended salary range was more than double what I was making. He agreed to lower the classification.
About a year later, I suddenly stopped in the middle of what I was doing and went "I'm an idiot".
#3
I think a lot of men make this mistake ONCE.
Asked a coworker when the baby was due. She was not pregnant. She also was basically never friendly to me again, despite my apology.
Now, no matter how sure I am someone is pregnant, I make zero reference to it unless the person alludes to the baby somehow or outright tells me.
#4
I was 15. [Summer BBQ between a couple of close families] One of my 20-something brothers friends, who I knew to be an unsettled playboy suddenly announced he was getting married. I, being a typically snarky teenager said, "when is the baby due?".
People were PISSED, even though I was right. The baby arrived happy and healthy 5 months later.
TL:DR We were all Catholic.
#5
I occasionally helped my friend with IT issues at his job even though I didn't work there. My friend told me their IT people didn't know what they were doing and that I should apply for a job opening they had.
For some reason during the interview I mentioned that my friend told me "they didn't know what they were doing." I said that to the heads of IT. Somehow I didn't get the job.
#6
In my 20s I always wanted to be seen as "Mr. Important guy" in meetings. One day I had a CEO cut me off and say something to the effect of "I have never in my life seen anyone talk so much and say so little. Shut up please." A couple of days later he called me into his office and gave me a short but great explanation why he did it. It was a big catalyst for change in me.
Rali Meyer 13 hours ago
many of those "said so little" around. Typically starts 2 minutes before the end of a meeting: "Just a quick one..."
#7
The first time I was handling a regulatory audit as the lead representative. We were doing well and the inspector was ready to wrap it up. I was feeling a bit overconfident and mentioned something innovative we were doing that the inspector had not inquired about. That piqued the auditor's interest and extended the audit a half day. Everything was still great but I would have rather been doing anything else than spending that extra time with the inspector. Lesson learned. Answer yes or no when possible, answer open ended questions as concisely as possible, and never volunteer any information the auditor didn't ask for.
#8
Monthly team meeting at work. Typical condescending HR manager was asking the team “Why are we all here?” And “Why do we work?”
Meaning he wanted the typical “To serve our customers with the best product possible.” answer…
Me, being a dumb dumb 20 something year old said “I have a car payment.”
I’m no longer with the company :)
Rali Meyer 13 hours ago
it's amazing that HR or your boss don't understand your motivation for work and performing is based on having to pay bills. And why would that be a negative?
#9
Pretty much daily. My life is easier, simpler, and happier in most aspects when I am not speaking. My dad told me to "never pass up a chance to shut up." It's been very effective so far.
Geoffrey Scott 5 hours ago
Was it Twain? "Better to keep your mouth shut and seem like an idiot, than open it and remove all doubt."
#10
I was 16, working at a fried chicken restaurant. Had a good rapport with the 40yo+ fry cook (who I later learned introduced himself as “Skinhead Ed” outside of work but that’s a different story). We had a corporate visit and he got flagged for not positioning chicken in a certain pattern in the fry racks. He was having a weirdly emotional response to the feedback so I was trying to joke around with him and get the vibes back to normal, but he could not let go of this chicken situation. He was flipping through the fryer instruction flip chart that is hanging above the fryers over and over again. Finally I was like this man is spiraling what is going on so I walked back again and I showed him where the pattern was mentioned (AND PICTURED) in the flip chart and jokingly said, “Well darn, Ed! It’s right here, can’t you read??”
I had never seen a white man get so red so fast. He SCREAMED, “As a matter of fact, I can’t!!” and stormed out the door to the dumpster to smoke. I have never felt like a bigger piece of trash than I did on that day in that KFC fry pit.
I followed him out and we smoothed it over, and I helped him with phonics and reading for like a year before I left that job. He improved a bit and was grateful, we would read in the dumpster or on the tailgate of his truck. Super nice guy! Liked him a lot until the “Skinhead Ed” nickname surfaced when I ran into him a few years later in the wild.
#11
When I was in the Military many years ago. A Sergeant walks up to our Platoon and says "I need 3 bodies" and my dumb self goes "what for?" then he responds "I need 2 more bodies" lmao. I spent my entire Friday on a working party and didn't get back to the barracks until 10 that night. It's a lesson that's stuck with me ever since.
Papa 1 hour ago
One of my great-uncles, who served in World War II, told me that he had an older brother who had entered the army earlier. This brother told him to never volunteer for anything, no matter how good it sounded. He went on to tell me that at one point his group was asked if anyone wanted to volunteer to be a truck driver. He said that sounded a lot better than all the marching they had been doing, but he remembered what his brother told him and kept his mouth shut. Others volunteered instead, and discovered that the "trucks" they had volunteered to drive were actually wheelbarrows.
#12
I'm from a very conservative town, and years ago my husband and I took his younger brothers out for lunch. On our way out of the restaurant, 2 very flamboyantly dressed men were headed in holding hands. This was my first time ever seeing an openly gay couple, so I said under my breath to my husband, "Those guys are gay." Without missing a beat, my teenage brother in law snapped, "So what? It's just another lifestyle."
I didn't mean anything bad by it. I was actually quite happy to see them so open, but by this point I think my surprise was seen as an outdated and old fashioned reaction to something more normal than I'd realized. Maybe it was even rude of me.
I worried for years that he thought I was a bigot. He turned out to be gay himself, but he was very private about it. I worry that perhaps I contributed to that, so I've tried to be a better ally since then.
Beak Hookage 13 hours ago
In highschool back in the early 2000s one of our teachers was gay. It wasn't openly talked about in those days but a major clue was that when a kid insulted another kid in class by calling him gay, she EXPLODED at him. I really liked that teacher. Knowing her helped teach me respect for gay people when I'd grown up in the very bigoted 90s. She's been promoted to school principal these days, and good for her!
#13
When *all* my medical information, *all* my personal information ended up being told to the whole village after I told my mom.
She still claims she never told anyone, but my information is safe since she is on an information diet.
#14
Debugging someone's code in a meeting and loudly saying "whoever wrote this clearly didn't understand how this works" — then realizing I was the one who wrote it six months ago.
Nothing humbles you faster than roasting your own past self in front of the whole team.
#15
Not the most exciting story but..... I was riding on a jampacked NYC subway. I saw this pregnant woman and offered my seat. I made a comment like "it's so annoying when people don't get up for pregnant women".
she wasn't pregnant.
i just tried to make myself invisible.
my friend said I should've asked for my seat back 😂.
#16
When I was just starting out professionally I was deadly afraid to say no or talk back - total people pleaser. Later I gained experience and learned to push back. I used to tell my boss I was finally confident enough to tell my boss to go frick themselves and as luck would have it I had one that I got along with great.
Apparently I was overcompensating. I had an interaction where I asked someone for some mundane thing and they panicked and escalated to a thread with 10 people including 3 managers. I stood my ground and was technically right. My boss gave me a talking to later along the lines of "I want to promote you at some point - walk the line between standing up for yourself and being a jerk".
#17
I was at a party, had a few beers and started talking to some dude wearing this niche brands t-shirt and I was like "hey I know the guy who started that brand". Which wasn't true, I knew a bunch of his good friends through uni because they were always talking about him. Then he was like "oh really, that's cool" and I doubled down, can't remember exactly what I said...
Anyway, it was him. He was the guy. I wanted to evaporate 🫣.
#18
WoW raid group was talking about names and making fun of the “unique” one people give their kids. I say “yeah, I keep seeing the name Everly and think it’s so dumb.” Guy says “oh, my daughter is named Everly. It was my wife’s idea and it’s grown on me a lot, I didn’t like it either at first.”
I try to pivot and say “well, at least she didn’t make it a tragedeigh name and spell it with an -eigh at the end.”
It was spelled Everleigh. Mild compared to some of these but it still pops up to haunt me sometimes.
#19
First full time job after finishing my degree and one of my colleagues was an insecure, mean girl in her 40s who spent her time talking herself up, doing absolutely nothing and taking credit for everyone else’s ideas. I remember one day there was a group of us having a conversation about a problem we were having and tossing around ideas on how to fix it. I suggested something and this woman immediately sprang up out of her chair and ran to the bosses office. Turns out she was talking the proposed solution or the boss and claiming credit for the idea.
Anyway, there were a lot of smokers in the office at the time and one day they were having a conversation in the open plan office about what brand they smoked. This women bragged about smoking a specific brand because it was the strongest available. I heard the brand name and without thinking replies “the only people I’ve ever heard who smoke that brand are prisoners.” It was an offhand comment/observation because I genuinely had never heard of anyone outside of jail smoke this brand.
Next thing I know I’m being called into the bosses office and asks who told me about this woman’s previous time in jail. No one had. I just made an offhand comment without thinking but man did she have it out for me the rest of the time I worked there.
#20
Many years ago, I learned the hard way that any time I talk to a coworker I need to pretend I’m talking to the top brass.
Robert Millar 6 hours ago
The majority of coworkers would throw their peers under the tram if they thought it would do them any good.
#21
In customer service, don't try to explain or give background details if nobody has asked. Here's how an encounter at the gas station could have gone:
Customer: $20 of midgrade gas, please.
Me: Sorry, we're out of midgrade.
Customer: Oh, darn.
Here's how it actually went.
Customer: $20 of midgrade gas, please.
Me: Sorry, we're out of premium, and since midgrade is a mixture of regular and premium, we're out of midgrade, too.
Customer: So, in the meantime, you've been running a science experiment—OK, thank you. I will be sure to tell others that. 😠
The customer apparently thought we were making, I dunno, bootleg midgrade.
Michael Largey 1 hour ago
A shocking departure in the level of integrity we've come to expect from the oil industry.
#22
When talking to a chiropractor at a party I asked, "So, you believe in that then?"
She responded with something along the lines of, "That thing I studied for six years? Yeah, I believe in it."
#23
Years ago I supervised several IT staff, a mix of about 50/50 men and women. I'd had countless conversations with them about their families and the events in their lives so I was pretty confident about what I knew. Each of the married employees were all in rock-solid marriages. Not typical, I know, but the families were drama-free.
Periodically flowers would show up for my various female employees, invariably because it was a birthday, anniversary, or 'just because'. Knowing the employees were in good marriages I would jokingly ask, "Ok, what did he do?". They would usually smile, giggle and reply it was a birthday/anniversary/just because.
One employee's husband worked their farm while she held her full-time job at my organization. One day she had a vase with a dozen roses and I asked my standard "So what did he do?" question - expecting it was her anniversary or something. She then proceeded to tell me a horrible story that ended with her saying the words, "... *and then he sucked my favorite dog up into the combine!*"
(For those who don't know a 'combine' is a large piece of farm machinery that harvests things like corn and wheat.)
Of course in this horrible farming accident the dog did not survive. I never asked that question again.
#24
My parents always had this unfunny joke of telling me I was adopted. There's nothing wrong with being adopted, it's a blessing, right? Well, I met someone new at a cookout and somehow could not shut up about, "yeah my parents always say I was adopted and they want to give me back and they don't know where I came from," not realizing the person I was talking to was having an existential crisis over her own adoption. Bit of an awkward interaction, that.
Rali Meyer 13 hours ago
joke comes to mind: Mom, am I adapted? Mom: why would I adopt you if I can choose?
#25
When I was running and a mosquito flew into my mouth.
#26
When I was 4 or 5. Some Jehovah’s Witnesses had been coming to our house to recruit my mom. She ran to the bedroom and sent my dad to the door to get rid of them so she wasn’t stuck there for an hour. When they asked if my mom was home my dad told them no, and I blurted out “yes she is! She’s hiding in the bedroom!”.
Annik Perrot 10 hours ago
My brother, years ago, opened the door to them stark naked and proclaimed "I am God, m'y brothers". They fled and never came back.
#27
(walking in late) "Hey, that looks like the same cake and ice cream we had at the last office birthday party."
It was literally the same cake and ice cream.
#28
My SIL was passing of ovarian cancer. She’d already divorced my husband’s brother at that point. I’d been friends with her and her cousin for years, even working for her cousin for awhile. When she entered hospice care, I was talking to her aunt and cousin. This aunt has a fairly common name but not so common you’d assume there’d be multiple family members of the same name, something like Shannon. Anyway, I reached out to her Aunt Shannon who I thought was the aunt she’d been dealing with her end of life stuff with.
Nope. I knew the other Aunt Shannon. So when I sent a text that said “I’m so sorry to hear about how SIL is taking a turn. We’re here for you guys.” And she responded with “what do you mean??” I ended up calling Aunt Shannon and talking it through, sharing I knew that SIL was pretty private about it all, I didn’t mean to spill the beans. I felt awful. In the end though, the Aunt Shannon and cousin I reached out to were grateful and SIL was glad to have the opportunity to connect before she passed.
But man I learned my lesson to clarify the family tree before speaking.
#29
Just yesterday. Recently started a new job and was sorting out some process issues. Casually, suggested I wasn’t impressed with an industry standard guidance; not unprofessional but my experienced opinion. The guy I said it to led the industry working group that put it together years ago. Open mouth- insert foot.
Luckily, he now sees it as flawed so I seem to have gotten away with one.
#30
I was standing awkwardly at a 5yr old's birthday party at a dojo with the other parents. Making small talk with a lady who lives in my neighborhood - in my head thinking I'm being so charming and normal and fun and look at me go. We are talking about how many kids we have - she said she has 3 and I said "I have two, I always said, I'd only have two kids because I have two hands" - folks, the woman I was speaking with had one arm.
#31
At work.
A coworker asked what I thought about a new manager and I answered honestly. Not even rude, just honest.
Turns out they were very good friends.
Amazing how fast the sentence “just between us” turns into a company-wide newsletter.
That’s when I learned that at work, you assume every conversation might somehow reach the person you're talking about.
UnclePanda 8 hours ago
Write every email as if you'll meet it again in the form of a rolled up newspaper.
#32
I met a girl to see about helping her take care of her horse. We were in Sweden, but just like my best friend, I learned she was Swedish-American, which was a funny coincidence. My best friend is from Utah and every time I mention this to any Swede they ask if she's Mormon.
So when this girl told me she's from Arizona, I told her: "Oh my friend is actually from Utah. But it's not like she's some kind of Mormon!" She kind of half-smiled at that..? But didn't seem outwardly offended, and she even took me on as caretaker/trainer of her horse for a year until she moved back to the states.
Anyway, a couple years later I found her on Facebook and turns out she and her family are Mormon...
#33
Told my mom her cooking had gotten worse since she started working double shifts. She didn't say anything, just kept eating. Found out later she'd been skipping lunch so my brother and I could have seconds.
#34
Me: You've got a lovely tan, where have you been?
Them: "I have jaundice"
I should have stopped digging, apologized and dipped at that point but instead i said:
"Oh, well considering you're ill you look very healthy".
Purple Gurl 5 hours ago
It's a cultural group in South Africa, people. Don't be so quick to downvote
#35
When I accidentally shared a very personal secret with the wrong people and saw the look on their faces, I realized that silence is golden.
#36
Small company, close coworkers.
Turned out one of them is a certified psychopath who lies every chance he gets and was telling everyone different stories to get them to turn against each other. Luckily, we all found out and squashed it, but had to be like…well, yeah. I hated you and talked major gossip about you, because I was getting intel that YOU hated me and were talking major gossip.
Just…don’t be friends with coworkers or be very selective lmao.
#37
Told my friend her new boyfriend gave me weird vibes. she told him. he told her to stop talking to me. lost my best friend for 6 months over a gut feeling that turned out to be RIGHT but the timing of me saying it was so wrong lol. now i just nod and smile.
#38
I was working for a cleaning company and had to do the one house we all dreaded. As soon as you walked in you were hit with the smell of animal waste. They allowed the cat to poo all over the basement that we couldn’t go down there half the time. I had to do it one time and didn’t realize anyone was still home, there were piles of dog poo all over the upstairs and yes we were expected to pick it up while we cleaned so I was having a meltdown to my work partner.
The person who was home was the daughter. She heard me say the most awful things about how filthy their family was and no wonder they were always sick. When I walked in her room to vacuum, I almost died of embarrassment. I was lucky not to lose my job but I was banned from going there so it was a bit of a win. It’s not like it was a small house either, this was a 4 bedroom 600,000 house that was covered in animal waste.
#39
Several years ago myself, my friend, and her boyfriend all went to lunch together. They brought a friend along that I had never met. Chatting at the table and what not, I shared the interesting fact that when cremated your teeth explode under the intense heat.
Several minutes later the friend I had never met when to the restroom. That’s when I found out that her 9 year old sister had recently passed from preventable complications after a tonsillectomy… and she was cremated.
I learned to shut up with the random facts after that.
Ronja Oksanen 8 hours ago
Nah, that was interesting fact, and what are the odds for saying that in front of someone who has recently cremated someone.
#40
My passport was set to expire the following week.
I was good to go - we were going to a country that didn't have any sort of restrictions if your passport was valid. However, we were stopped by the gate attendant at our home airline and they spent five minutes verifying this.
My anxiety was through the roof. We boarded our first plane to Texas. No problem.
While we were waiting to board for Costa Rica, my wife went to the bathroom, and I went to the United Airlines kiosk to let them know the situation and make sure I didn't go through that again.
They didn't let me board.
And that's how I ruined our honeymoon.
#41
Work meeting w a vendor whose service only my team could understand/use and none of us were invited. Only found out a few mins before when the rest of the dept. got up to attend.
I was livid, and made my frustrations known to my superiors afterward (who have zero experience to our specialty at all). Got a disciplinary action for doing this. Had been feeling our tenure was coming to an end and this meeting sealed my suspicions.
We were all laid off 3 months later. Would have happened either way so I don’t really regret saying my piece, but realize it was a waste of time in hindsight.
#42
We got a couch from my grandma, I was pushing it out of the bed of the truck, and I found a $50 bill that had fallen into a crack and got wedged between the armrest and base.
I showed it off after I pulled it out... and my parents made me give it back to Grandma.
Grandma was big into her religion, and donated that money to the church with her tithing and told me the Lord's blessings are my repayment for being honest about finding that money...
#43
My life is a series of these but my most recent one was at a job interview when the interviewer told me I was overqualified and I just simply and bluntly asked would she rather have someone under qualified.
I didn’t get the job, so I guess that was a yes.
#44
That time I gave my honest opinion in a meeting… and instantly realized it was not my place. Silence really is golden sometimes.
#45
Coming home through security in the airport as a kid. Parents get stopped and bag checked. Customs agent starts pulling out multiple cartons of cigarettes.
Me: "Don't worry dad your just going to sell them"
I can remember that drive home and what layby we pulled into where I was given a beating.
#46
I told my friend her new haircut looked rough. It was for cancer support...
Michael Largey 1 hour ago
I never tell a woman that I don't like her new hairdo. That's because in precisely ten days I will have forgotten she has ever worn it any other way.
#47
Calling my old boss a see you next Tuesday when he was standing right outside the door behind me.
We had an interesting chat after that about inappropriate language.
#48
During a meeting I pointed out something the boss had missed. Right call, wrong moment. The awkwardness that followed told me everything about reading the room. Best lesson I got was just to keep it brief and let things play out.
#49
Don’t ever share your work frustrations with anyone who doesn’t share a bed with you. Somehow it always gets back to the boss/coworkers.
#50
I was at a playgroup when my kids were little, and a new mom and her son came for the first time. She was white, fair skinned, and her son was Navajo. I asked her if he looked like his dad, and she said, "I don't know, he's adopted".
She was really kind about me putting my entire foot in my mouth, and told me the whole story. I learned a hard lesson about assuming that day.
Firefly 7 hours ago
I'm white, and my son is native American and also adopted. This happens all the time. We're used to it and don't get offended. He also has an unusual name, so people ask what inspired me to name him that. I didn't name him, as he was 6 when I adopted him. When I tell people he just came with the name, they look confused and embarrassed, but we think it's funny.
#51
Had a few drinks was walking up to the camp fire and someone shouted " who is that?" and I shouted back " your mom"..... you want to guess the rest...? I said it to the one person who's mom had died 3 weeks before this. I apologized so much that whole weekend, she knew I meant nothing by it but I still felt horrible.
#52
Years ago I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in a few years, I couldn't remember much about her but did remember that her daughter was very pregnant the last time I saw her. I say "So, hows that grandbaby?" She immediatly teared up and said "we miss her every day"
That was the last time I ever asked anybody about their family.
Geoffrey Scott 5 hours ago
What's worse is the young woman who miscarried and the party store clerk said,"That's ok, you'll have another"..I just wanted to melt into the floor.
#53
Not my story, but when my nephew was born my uncle called and my mom asked him: “Is he healthy? Does he have all fingers, all his toes?” and my dad jokingly said “Yeah but no ears”. So the day went by and at some point my dad got a call from my uncle saying: “How did you know?” And my dad didn’t even recall making the comment, but turned out my nephew was actually born without ears. He still feels a lot of shame for making a joke like that and it’s been 18 years.
#55
I was driving like a normal person, straight through an intersection with a green light. A woman took a left turn in front of me and I tee boned her. Luckily no one was hurt, but then the lady got our of her car and yelled, "I had the yellow flashing light!"... I decided to keep my mouth shut and let her tell the cops that precise thing. She got ticketed and my car was totaled.
Stephanie Did It 11 hours ago
My car was T-boned about 10 days ago. I was in a parking lot and a girl whose car was parked facing outward punched the gas and drove straight into the side of my car. She got out of her car and demanded my insurance info, then insisted we get a police report. Then took pictures and video of the damage she just caused. I calmly exchanged the necessary info and provided what was needed to the police. Now: we wait for the insurance company's decision. I'm not too worried.
#56
I've always had a very poor sense of what is considered personal or intimate. Having friends who also talk comfortably about private things growing up didn't help. At my friend's birthday party, I made "small talk" with one of her cousins, though my idea of small talk was definitely not the universally appropriate kind, if the stares I got and my friend motioning for me to shut up were any indication.
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What do you think ?
Did I say that out loud? 2 hours ago
I could make a much longer list on this topic all by myself. Have I learnt my lesson? No. Will I do it again? Absolutely, whether I like it or not.
Did I say that out loud? 2 hours ago
I could make a much longer list on this topic all by myself. Have I learnt my lesson? No. Will I do it again? Absolutely, whether I like it or not.
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