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Person Starts Their Wedding On Time, It Offends Their Chronically Late Parents Who Miss 75% Of It
“Being on time” is one of those concepts that is nowhere near as easy to understand as it might seem. In some places, if you show up “on time” to an event, it won’t even have started. Context is everything. But some folks have the particular misfortune of having to deal with a family that just won’t respect deadlines and schedules at all.
A man asked the internet if he was “wrong” for starting his own wedding on time. How can this be an issue? Well, his parents, who were perpetually late, thought he would pause his own wedding so they could show up, and ended up infuriated to learn that he had simply ordered it to go ahead without them.
RELATED:
Being late can cause friction and arguments, which are never good for relationships
Image credits: Samantha Gades (not the actual photo)
So when this guy’s parents arrived considerably late to his wedding, he wasn’t happy about it
Image credits: Marius Mann (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Able_Shock6277
It’s hard to understand why the parents made a scene when they were the ones running late
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
Common courtesy states that a wedding ceremony shouldn’t start more than 15 minutes after the time on the invitation, so guests should arrive well before the listed hour to be in their seats when the music starts.
But if people are running late, etiquette expert Julie Blais Comeau thinks they should join the event discreetly and not bring undue attention to themselves.
While we can appreciate the Redditor’s parents for trying their best not to interrupt, it’s difficult to understand why they blamed him for not waiting for them.
Blais Comeau says you shouldn’t eat up all the attention at the reception with epic accounts of your harrowing journey or bring down the couple in any other way; it’s their day!
Whether you missed 10 minutes or an hour, she suggests you make the most of the time that’s left and forget all the challenges that led you to that point.
Instead of confronting their son, the parents could’ve just raised a toast to him and his new wife, stepped onto the dance floor, and smiled for the pictures. After all, they did make it.
Virtually everyone who has read his story said the man did nothing wrong
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What do you think ?
KatSaidThat 2 days ago
The only way to deal with chronically late people is to show them the same respect they are showing you. Don't wait around. For years our group accommodated Ben until suddenly we decided to not. People can actually change their ways when you tell them outright that they are disrespecting you and that you will no longer tolerate their "ah you know what I'm like" - we do. So either get your s**t together or miss out.
WonderWoman 2 days ago
Being late is a decision a choice. There are no excuses for being chronically late - you can set timers and reminders. Being chronically late is insulting and disrespectful to everyone else.
Asmodeus Hare 20 hours ago
Being late can be circumstance. Wreck on the road delaying traffic. Being chronically late is being inconsiderate.
Load More Replies...
Dog Mom to Zoe 2 days ago
I had a friend that was always late. Several of us had tickets to see a play. We waited 10 minutes for him and when he didn't show, we started to leave and left him his ticket on my door jam. As we were leaving, he drives up and realizes he screwed up. All was good in the end but he was never late again.
Just_for_this 2 days ago
Leaving for an 'extended family' holiday. i was driver for one vehicle - went round to the various houses to collect people and luggage; were all informed of ETA's. one household (My Aunt and her daughter) are conically late for everything. I left them till last, with time updates as i went. Got to their house, - they ignored the phone - the door bell - I gave them one song's length and left. Seeing them running down the road after me with half closed suitcases was the best thing ever.
arthbach 2 days ago
I would not be able to deal with chronically late people. My solution would be to only agree to do things with them that had a definite starting time, eg theatre, cinema, concert, ride on a steam train. If they were not there on time, I'd go without them. I would be open and honest about it. This is my boundary, and if you are going to be so inconsiderate to my time, then you are going to miss out on the event.
Lee Gilliland 2 days ago
I've had friends and family who are constantly late. I refuse to put up with it. If Queen Elizabeth was late a grand total of 23 times in 63 years, they can manage to be on time now.
Roberta Surprenant 2 days ago (edited)
Had a cousin arrive during "the kiss" at our wedding. She couldn't conceive of us having a ten minute long ceremony. At my first wedding, thirty years earlier, she arrived just as we were about to walk into the church. She had a disabled friend in her VW bug and Dad had to help her get him out....THAT was why I made a point of starting ceremony on time for this wedding. For what it is worth, she stretched her wedding out over two days, I attended first day but had to leave early for work.
arthbach 2 days ago
Roberta Surprenant, in my country, there is a tradition of the bride being late (5-10 mins). I was insistent at I would not be late. On the way to the church we saw the minister heading toward his home. The driver recommended we head off for a little drive and come back a little later. I refused, and my Dad agreed. - - - When we got to the church, I asked by brother to let my future husband know I was there, but the minister had nipped home for a few minutes. The minister's assistant was in a panic - she had a bride, a groom, a churchful of people, but no minister. My Dad reassured her everything was fine.
Load More Replies...
Little Bit 2 days ago
NTA. There's nothing more infuriating than people who are chronically late, especially when think their tardiness is no big deal or a big joke. It is inconsiderate and disrespectful. The parents should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.
Science Nerd 2 days ago
When the parents host Thanksgiving they are probably not ready when guests start arriving. I’d bet that they ask the guests to help them with the “last minute” preparations.
Asmodeus Hare 20 hours ago
That is actually tradition with my family. 30 minutes before being ready we come and start setting up the table with plates and flatware and ferry the food that is ready to it. The last item is the turkey which the cooks/host ferries out to centerpiece.
Load More Replies... Asmodeus Hare 22 hours ago
I have always accounted for people by a 10 minute delay on most things because traffic could be nasty. Ten minutes usually does nothing bad for most things. Some things I cannot delay so it's case by case.
Marno C. 2 days ago
And think of the Math involved. Parents are 35 minutes late? They are committing the mental fallacy that their lateness is just between them and the OP. No, it is between them and EVERYONE else. They are saying they expect EVERYONE to be less important and to wait on them for their poor planning. So, if that is, say, 170 people at the wedding and 30 various staffers involved for the various reception duties (if they thought the reception should have been pushed back to accommodate for the late start), that comes to 200 people waiting. 200 x 35min = 7000 min. They feel they are owed 7000 minutes of other people's time. That is 116 hours, 40 min. That is nearly 5 days' worth of time. That's the math of their arrogance.
Dan 2 days ago
They mentioned Thanksgiving so I assume this is in the USA or possibly Canada. Every wedding I have been involved in required me to be there hours early for pictures, last minute ceremony adjustments, and most weddings have you get ready at the venue. Is this fake?
arthbach 2 days ago
Dan, there are some places where you get ready at the venue, but it is not a universal tradition. The same goes for photographs, some people have them taken early, others have the majority taken after the wedding. "Is it fake?" It is probably very true.
Load More Replies...
AlithenewMC 2 days ago
To a point- my husband's family likes to be "on time" by being 45mins early, which is just as bad as being late imo, especially if you're going to someone's house. One time we had to be at his cousin's for a birthday party and we were like an hour early (usually the traffic is much worse, so we had factored that in). I said we should get coffee, park down the street and hang out. He insisted on parking right outside their house- I wad so embarrassed. He kept saying "we should just go in" and I had to explain that, as a host, if you're expecting people at 2, and it's 1:15, you're probably not ready to have people come in yet. You're still setting up or getting dressed or something, and people showing up that early is rude. He's no longer like that, but I know to always expect his parents way before they say they'll be here.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidThat 2 days ago
The only way to deal with chronically late people is to show them the same respect they are showing you. Don't wait around. For years our group accommodated Ben until suddenly we decided to not. People can actually change their ways when you tell them outright that they are disrespecting you and that you will no longer tolerate their "ah you know what I'm like" - we do. So either get your s**t together or miss out.
WonderWoman 2 days ago
Being late is a decision a choice. There are no excuses for being chronically late - you can set timers and reminders. Being chronically late is insulting and disrespectful to everyone else.
Asmodeus Hare 20 hours ago
Being late can be circumstance. Wreck on the road delaying traffic. Being chronically late is being inconsiderate.
Load More Replies... Dog Mom to Zoe 2 days ago
I had a friend that was always late. Several of us had tickets to see a play. We waited 10 minutes for him and when he didn't show, we started to leave and left him his ticket on my door jam. As we were leaving, he drives up and realizes he screwed up. All was good in the end but he was never late again.
Just_for_this 2 days ago
Leaving for an 'extended family' holiday. i was driver for one vehicle - went round to the various houses to collect people and luggage; were all informed of ETA's. one household (My Aunt and her daughter) are conically late for everything. I left them till last, with time updates as i went. Got to their house, - they ignored the phone - the door bell - I gave them one song's length and left. Seeing them running down the road after me with half closed suitcases was the best thing ever.
arthbach 2 days ago
I would not be able to deal with chronically late people. My solution would be to only agree to do things with them that had a definite starting time, eg theatre, cinema, concert, ride on a steam train. If they were not there on time, I'd go without them. I would be open and honest about it. This is my boundary, and if you are going to be so inconsiderate to my time, then you are going to miss out on the event.
Lee Gilliland 2 days ago
I've had friends and family who are constantly late. I refuse to put up with it. If Queen Elizabeth was late a grand total of 23 times in 63 years, they can manage to be on time now.
Roberta Surprenant 2 days ago (edited)
Had a cousin arrive during "the kiss" at our wedding. She couldn't conceive of us having a ten minute long ceremony. At my first wedding, thirty years earlier, she arrived just as we were about to walk into the church. She had a disabled friend in her VW bug and Dad had to help her get him out....THAT was why I made a point of starting ceremony on time for this wedding. For what it is worth, she stretched her wedding out over two days, I attended first day but had to leave early for work.
arthbach 2 days ago
Roberta Surprenant, in my country, there is a tradition of the bride being late (5-10 mins). I was insistent at I would not be late. On the way to the church we saw the minister heading toward his home. The driver recommended we head off for a little drive and come back a little later. I refused, and my Dad agreed. - - - When we got to the church, I asked by brother to let my future husband know I was there, but the minister had nipped home for a few minutes. The minister's assistant was in a panic - she had a bride, a groom, a churchful of people, but no minister. My Dad reassured her everything was fine.
Load More Replies... Little Bit 2 days ago
NTA. There's nothing more infuriating than people who are chronically late, especially when think their tardiness is no big deal or a big joke. It is inconsiderate and disrespectful. The parents should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.
Science Nerd 2 days ago
When the parents host Thanksgiving they are probably not ready when guests start arriving. I’d bet that they ask the guests to help them with the “last minute” preparations.
Asmodeus Hare 20 hours ago
That is actually tradition with my family. 30 minutes before being ready we come and start setting up the table with plates and flatware and ferry the food that is ready to it. The last item is the turkey which the cooks/host ferries out to centerpiece.
Load More Replies... Asmodeus Hare 22 hours ago
I have always accounted for people by a 10 minute delay on most things because traffic could be nasty. Ten minutes usually does nothing bad for most things. Some things I cannot delay so it's case by case.
Marno C. 2 days ago
And think of the Math involved. Parents are 35 minutes late? They are committing the mental fallacy that their lateness is just between them and the OP. No, it is between them and EVERYONE else. They are saying they expect EVERYONE to be less important and to wait on them for their poor planning. So, if that is, say, 170 people at the wedding and 30 various staffers involved for the various reception duties (if they thought the reception should have been pushed back to accommodate for the late start), that comes to 200 people waiting. 200 x 35min = 7000 min. They feel they are owed 7000 minutes of other people's time. That is 116 hours, 40 min. That is nearly 5 days' worth of time. That's the math of their arrogance.
Dan 2 days ago
They mentioned Thanksgiving so I assume this is in the USA or possibly Canada. Every wedding I have been involved in required me to be there hours early for pictures, last minute ceremony adjustments, and most weddings have you get ready at the venue. Is this fake?
arthbach 2 days ago
Dan, there are some places where you get ready at the venue, but it is not a universal tradition. The same goes for photographs, some people have them taken early, others have the majority taken after the wedding. "Is it fake?" It is probably very true.
Load More Replies... AlithenewMC 2 days ago
To a point- my husband's family likes to be "on time" by being 45mins early, which is just as bad as being late imo, especially if you're going to someone's house. One time we had to be at his cousin's for a birthday party and we were like an hour early (usually the traffic is much worse, so we had factored that in). I said we should get coffee, park down the street and hang out. He insisted on parking right outside their house- I wad so embarrassed. He kept saying "we should just go in" and I had to explain that, as a host, if you're expecting people at 2, and it's 1:15, you're probably not ready to have people come in yet. You're still setting up or getting dressed or something, and people showing up that early is rude. He's no longer like that, but I know to always expect his parents way before they say they'll be here.
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