Husband Refuses To Stand Up To Parents Who Treat His Wife Like A Maid, She Leaves Him

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. But what if your own in-laws are so entitled that they see you like a live-in servant, doing everything from chores to cooking, while they laze about?

That’s the situation that one internet user found herself in. She turned to the AITA community for help after realizing that her husband’s parents are treating her like a maid because they live together. Eventually, the tension boiled over, and she called everyone in the family out. Scroll down for the full story, including dramatic updates about how the woman tried to reclaim her life.

Nobody should be treated like they’re an unpaid servant at home

Young woman exhausted from cleaning, sitting on floor with mop, reflecting stress of being treated like a maid by in-laws.

Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)

A woman vented her frustrations with her in-laws and husband, asking netizens if she’s wrong to want to move out

Text excerpt about a husband refusing to stand up to parents treating his wife like a maid causing marital strain.

Text excerpt about in-laws resisting moving out despite wife wanting to leave due to being treated like a maid.

Woman explains household chores and bills she manages while husband refuses to stand up to parents treating her like a maid.

Text excerpt about working from home and sharing house upgrades in a flexible arrangement related to husband refusing to stand up to parents.

Text excerpt expressing resentment about being treated like a maid due to husband's parents' unfair expectations.

Text excerpt about a wife feeling unwell and mother-in-law demanding she get up to make dinner, highlighting husband refusing to stand up.

Woman in a blue sweater resting on couch, blowing her nose, symbolizing frustration with husband who won't stand up to parents.

Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)

Woman struggles with housework as husband refuses to stand up to parents treating his wife like a maid.

Text excerpt showing a wife describing how her husband refuses to stand up to parents who treat her like a maid.

Screenshot of text describing a wife feeling treated like a maid and her husband refusing to stand up to his parents.

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Text expressing frustration about husband and inlaws treating wife poorly, no apology, wife considering leaving due to maid-like treatment.

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Soon after posting, the woman shared more context in her first update, explaining how she got there and what she has already tried to do

Image credits: Liliana Drew (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt explaining how wife took on household chores after moving in with inlaws, highlighting husband refusal to stand up.

Text about husband refusing to stand up to parents treating wife unfairly and wife deciding to leave the relationship.

Text excerpt describing a toxic environment where a wife feels isolated due to husband's parents treating her like a maid.

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Text excerpt highlighting a wife feeling ignored as her husband refuses to stand up to parents who treat her like a maid.

Text excerpt discussing a wife leaving after husband refuses to stand up to parents who treat her like a maid.

Image credits: Soft_Career_8688

A second update came around some months later when the woman found out she was pregnant

Pregnant woman receiving ultrasound, highlighting themes of husband, parents, and wife dynamics in a family setting.

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

Text post about a wife leaving her husband after he refuses to stand up to parents who treat her like a maid.

Text excerpt discussing pregnancy surprise after medical conditions, highlighting husband refusing to stand up to parents mistreating wife.

Text excerpt about conflict with in-laws and feeling treated like a maid leading to the wife leaving the husband.

Text excerpt showing a wife feeling ignored and treated like a maid by husband’s parents, leading to her leaving him.

Woman frustrated as husband refuses to stand up to parents who treat her like a maid, leading to her leaving him

Hands holding a small beige baby outfit with a brown bear design, illustrating a wife leaving due to husband refusing to stand up.

Image credits: Matilda Wormwood (not the actual photo)

Wife leaves after husband refuses to stand up to parents who treat her like a maid.

Text excerpt about husband refusing to stand up to parents mistreating wife, causing her to leave.

Woman leaves husband who refuses to stand up to parents treating her like a maid in a toxic environment.

Text excerpt about husband refusing to stand up to parents who mistreat wife, leading to separation.

Woman expressing frustration while discussing husband who refuses to stand up to parents treating his wife like a maid

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about a wife leaving her husband who refuses to stand up to parents treating her like a maid.

Woman leaving home upset as husband refuses to stand up to parents who treat his wife like a maid.

Image credits: Soft_Career_8688

Woman holding a ring, symbolizing relationship struggles as husband refuses to stand up to parents treating wife unfairly.

Because nothing really changed, the woman decided to distance herself permanently from the toxic family, hubby included

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

This one’s a lengthy one, so brace yourself. In a nutshell: the woman and her hubby move in with her in-laws to help out as the dad had health issues. During the time that they’ve been living there, the author had taken on a number of chores because it was just easier for her.

Ultimately, the balance of things to do around the house among the various family members shifted in unhealthy ways that did not benefit OP at all. It has become such a big problem that even when she was sick, she was still expected to cook while everyone else sat on the couch watching television.

The author did try to talk to her hubby, but that didn’t work. She suggested moving out on several occasions, but everyone was against it. The meatloaf hit the fan when the mother-in-law asked if the woman could give everything an extra scrub so as to k**l off her germs. While she was still sick. It was only natural that she snapped after all the exhaustion and disrespect.

It all went downhill from there. Not only was she treated like a live-in maid, she also became a mere ‘incubator’ once she found out she’s pregnant. Everyone immediately started making plans for her, deciding things for the baby—her voice didn’t matter.

So she packed her bags and left. And when nobody did anything about rectifying this schism in the relationship, the woman distanced herself from them for good, and started the divorce process.

She’s been doing great since then. Rents a spacious 3-bedroom house while she’s waiting for the knot to be untied. Once the daughter is born, the author’s side of the family will be there to help out and play with her. A sweet ending to an otherwise bitter story.

Woman being comforted by another woman, highlighting emotional support amid family and marital struggles.

Even before the updates, netizens were quick to show support for the woman with affirmation and advice

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Folks online were all in favor of an NTA here. The story was still in progress, but folks were quick to suggest running away from that toxic environment as it would only get worse.

It was enough that the doormat husband was silent every time there was a clash, but the in-laws had to be flat out using the author in dehumanizing ways. There’s nothing good that can ever come out of such a dynamic.

Commenters further pointed out that this arrangement only ever benefited the in-laws and, to some extent, the hubby. The in-laws were getting the best deal as the young’uns were there to pay most of the bills and solve most of their problems, including caring for the dad. They didn’t even have to lift a finger. Neither did the hubby, minus him paying something.

The saddest part is that these are grown adults who were very self-sufficient before the woman came into the picture. Folks pointed that out as a peak form of entitlement, and that demands zero justification on the author’s part when it comes to making decisions that benefit her.

Couple sitting apart on couch, wife upset and husband avoiding confrontation, reflecting husband refuses to stand up to parents.

Sadly, a lack of marital commitment and conflict in the household are among the top reasons for divorce

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

The issues seen in this story correspond to the overall, sad reality of marriages and relationships. Lack of commitment (75%) and conflict in the household (58%) are among the top 3 reasons for divorce. Infidelity is the other one (60%). You can also throw in lack of family support as a reason too (that’s #8 in the list with 18%).

“Final Straw” situations, however, are most often associated with reasons other than what OP went through. The phenomenon is reported among 69% of all divorced couples with infidelity (24%), domestic violence (21%) and substance abuse (12%) as the top reasons.

Though, it is important to note that divorce rates have dropped in the last 20 years. The CDC reports that the divorce rate per 1,000 population used to be a 4 back in 2000, but it decreased to 2.5 in 2021 with a slight dip to 2.3 in 2020. Then again, marriage rates decreased as well—from 8.2 to 6.0 respectively.

The decrease seems to be due to a shift in public attitude about marriage. An increasing amount of people are starting to think of marriage as unnecessary. So much so that back in 2010, 40% of Americans thought of it as obsolete. It boils down to the conviction that marriage doesn’t allow for as much freedom, which is a problem if a person has adult aspirations and desires for achieving something in life.

So, what are your thoughts on any of this? How would you have approached OP’s predicament? Do you agree with the community’s verdict? Share your takes and stories in the comment section below!

Folks online deemed the woman not a jerk for wanting a better life, suggesting she legs it as fast as she can

Comments discussing a husband refusing to stand up to parents who treat his wife like a maid and her decision to leave him.

Reddit conversation discussing a husband refusing to stand up to parents who treat his wife like a maid.

Comment discussing a husband refusing to stand up to parents treating his wife like a maid, causing her to leave.

Comment advising to leave husband who refuses to stand up to parents treating wife like a maid, urging to pack bags and leave.

Comment discussing a husband refusing to stand up to parents who mistreat his wife, leading to her leaving him.

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