Woman Illustrates Childhood ‘Friends’ Before Being Given Heavy Medication, And It Will Give You Chills
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Imgur user Sierra had imaginary friends from the ages of 9-13, and is able to describe them in vivid detail. She stopped seeing them at age 14 when she was put on medication, however she misses the comfort that they provided her in dark times. “I honestly miss them and like to think they are real,” she says. “They are just waiting for me somewhere else.”
“They slept with me every night, in order for me to not fear them, but the first few times they crawled into bed with me was the scariest,” Sierra told Bored Panda. But later things changed and she grew more comfortable. “It was like having a sleepover with your best friends every day. We conversed, sang, swam, ate, enjoyed one another. It was peaceful in a way,” she reminisced fondly.
Sierra’s descriptions offer a unique in-depth look at the mind of a child and might make you question your sense of reality. Scroll down to read the story yourself and tell us what you think!
More info: Imgur
“I had imaginary friends throughout the ages of 9-13. Stopped “seeing” them when I was put on medication at age 14”
“I honestly miss them and like to think they are real. They are just waiting for me somewhere else”
She described her first imaginary friend who was both wise and terrifying
A friendlier creature, named Frenzo, helped Sierra with many mental issues she had
She was most fond of Subterra Angelo, who had the greatest impact on the girl’s life
The last creature Sierra described was Angelo’s sister, Superior Devvera, who had a darker side to her at first
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I hope some illustrator can work with her and document all these friends before they are gone. They sound too good to just be forgotten.
i'd like to, any idea on how to contact her
Find me on Facebook at Sierra Eggum and shoot me a message! :)
OMG, this is going to be epic, I love when people with such a great imagination (reality) within them are able to pass on their visions through someone)
I've sent you a message, illustrating what I saw helped me cope and helped those around me understand my story better. You should never have to walk alone in the dark.
This is so exciting!! Like Hugo said, I think she replied somewhere below.
She replied under 'hellcat'
She's here ;) see below.
"Armchair psychology" here, but although these creatures sound both interesting and amazing, I can't shake the feeling that they were actually her way of coping with some sort of trauma or disease. I mean what she's describing sounds very much as if you'd mix schizophrenia and dissociative personality disorder, which in the mind of a child took the shape of mythical creatures. All of these creatures sound like the type a child would come across in stories, games, cartoons. And while the story she says is beautiful, I can't help but feel a little bit concerned about why the dark fox was suggesting she should "profit off of her body", and how they came to sleep with her at night and it was scary the first time. Our minds do very interesting things to protect us. I hope she's ok, nonetheless.
Hello. I am doing wonderful. I just want to make this very clear. I do not and never had schizophrenia. I've had a lot of doctors throughout my life and not one has come to the conclusion that I had schizophrenia, an identity disorder, or anything of the like. I was just a very depressed and anxious child and my "friends" we're there to help me cope with that. My friends never harmed me nor did they do malicious things to me. I'm much better today, I'm a normal woman with a nutty brain, but normal none the less. Thank you for your interest in my story and good day
Hi Sierra, and thank you for answering. I am glad to hear you are well. Please understand that I meant absolutely no harm. However, there is a contradiction in your statement when you say that your friends never harmed you or did malicious things. When you talk about Devvra at the start, the things she would do to you (push to steal, lie, cheat, choke you in your sleep, get angry at you etc) sound harmful enough. Either way, like I said, this is a topic far more complex than we can afford right now, and I am happy that you are happy.
Write a book. And I mean it! Publish it or not, it's a wonderful way to keep those memories alive and visit them whenever. This was an interesting reading and that was all I could think of. Stay safe!
Hi, im curious about tanaabaruu.. in malay language it sound like tanah baru or "new land"..
yeah Sierra write a book please and find a really good artist to bring them to life, I absolutely loved them, I'm gonna be the first one to buy it :D
I'm also going to add one more thing. From some of the research that I have done on my own, people like you often have a well-functioning pineal gland which is responsible for the production of DMT in our brain. Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) is known as the "spirit molecule" and our own brain produces it through the pineal gland. Scientist say that it is DMT that is responsible for our dream state and many mystical experiences in a waking state. Ayahuasca that I eluded to earlier, contains DMT in a natural state and helps to reactivate that which those medications previously suppressed. Again, this is not magic or science fiction but fact that modern research is now confirming.
I agree, write a novel! Surely you could outdo J.K. Rowling?!! Your fantasy world and animals/creatures sound really appealing. I bet you could make the next big box office hit! And become a famous children's author. Give it a shot!! PS--My mother's brother and their father, (my grandfather), were both paranoid schizophrenics who could be at times very physically dangerous to anyone. They saw people who were not there, heard things that were not happening. They had both been diagnosed, but not until they were very much along in life, 60's and around that age. It was terrible. You do not sound like you have schizophrenia at all. Just a great imagination, that helped you cope with life every day. Nothing wrong with that!!
Sierra, I have some interesting advice for you that might help you to better understand what happened and what these events were. Do research on ayahuasca. It's an ancient brew used as a traditional spiritual medicine in ceremonies among the indigenous peoples of the Amazon basin. Ayahuasca could provide you with the answers you might be seeking. Ayahuasca is an ancient plant medicine to which modern science has been taking interest. I went to Peru recently to experience this myself. There are many articles on the internet as well as videos on YouTube. Check it out. I can direct you to some very experienced, safe and reputable ayahuasca retreats in Peru where you could partake in this ancient ceremony and even see your friends again. Ayahuasca is known for opening the door to the "other side", so to speak. I encourage you to do your own research though. There is more to our world than most people know or can understand.
hi Sierra, Your stories and pictures reminded me of Freshwater, a new book by Akwaeke Emezi, that is technically fiction but based on the author's own experiences. The main character has many friends living with her, both good and bad, and the ending and how she lives with them is beautiful. If you haven't read it you might enjoy the comparison of your stories and the woman in the book!
Really interesting descriptions of your friends. There's so much depth to them. I particularly like the 20 tails forming a bulb and everything behind that. As many have said if you actually wrote a book about this it would be a very interesting one to read. I never had imaginary friends but I drew so much growing up as a form of escapism. The only think that ever materialised before with a voice was some freaky demon creature when I had a moment of sleep paralysis, which I've read is common. The voice felt like it was everywhere. Anyway I thought I'd share, haha. I am glad you're doing well now. Thanks for sharing your own experiences. As is apparent here it's a brave decision, since so many wish to impress an opinion.
I had similar experiences as a child, but I'm over 40 now, and don't remember much of the details anymore. The strongest memory I have is a friendly being protecting me (I wasn't abused as a child for those wondering), it it would often tell me when to close my eyes and pretend to be asleep, because the not-so-nice being was about to come in. I would feel this presence come in, and fly around my room, then leave once satisfied I was sleeping. Weird to some, no doubt, but it was what it was. I, too, was anxious and depressed; something I continued to struggle with for a long time, but finally reached a happier place. I'm glad you've got it all on record, once forgotten, it seems they're gone forever.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal treasure with us! I envy you for having friends like that to help you through hard times. I have never been so fortunate.
I understand. :)
U donot have a nutty brain. Just the opposite!! You have been given a gift. Dont let society make u fit into their box of what they think is right. It has worked afterall if u think u have a nutty or bad brain. U have no idea how important this part of your life is. They (ur friends) tried to tell u. There is a reason u have this gift. Figure it out and use it to help the universe and all in it. People may nit understand now but at ine point in time they will. Some of the all time great munds never got any recognition, (even got persucuted) untill way after passing.
https://castbox.fm/vb/78763215 This is a podcast recording I made going more in depth about my "frinds" if you want to listen so you can better understand what I went through. But please don't "diagnose" me with anything when you do not know me. You only know a fraction of who I am.
This is really strange and beautiful, thank you for sharing
I can't believe I spent an hour listening to your podcast while at work. Great story to tell and I'm glad everything turns out ok for you in the end.
Those who have tried to label you missed the beauty. You don't need to answer to them. :)
I cant find the podcast. Where is it?
.... I'm sorry in what way does her situation imply that she has dissociative *identity* disorder? And even if it was schizophrenia, it doesn't mean she was traumatized. Armchair psychology (especially poorly researched armchair psychology) doesn't help anyone. It just oversimplifies and trivializes mental illness.
I never said she has any of these issues, I just said it looked like that. Unfortunately the limitation in the messages box prohibits me to explain in more detail what I meant, but there was no sentence in which I officially diagnosed her with anything. If nothing else, it is you that assumes things freely about my statement. I do NOT trivialize mental illness. I was talking about DID when I mentioned trauma, not schizophrenia. But in the end I don't want to spark an argument. I was just stating my opinion based on the information I was provided with, nothing else.
@hellcat you stated "sounds very much like if you mixed schizophrenia and disassociation personality disorder". Stay in your armchair love. She has a gift most don't understand.
You know when the lady herself explains herself and tells you what she was going through, backed up by professionals, you don't try to claim that's not what she was going through.
@Hell Cat I thought schizophrenia or psychosis as well, I think the strong reaction against comes from years of Hollywood sensualisation of schizophrenia as something in the realms of crazy horror movie villians when in reality it's not always like that, my old school friend has these issues and when he's on his meds he like anyone else you would meet when he's not he's more self destructive but not in anyway that would make you think he's going to pick up an axe and kill people etc.
It really sounds like schizophrenia, or some kind of psychosis. Psychosis is traumatic all by its lonesome. It's like living in a nightmare or dream, the trauma doesn't necessarily need to come from an external source. The idea that she should "profit off of her body" could just be something she heard two people talking about on TV but her brain seized on to it. Like how if you fall asleep with the TV on your dreams might incorporate what you were watching.
Don't you people have any decency? The lady just asked not diagnose her ...!
Yes, true. I do agree it sounds like schizophrenia, but I prefer not to make concrete judgments. (And when I mentioned trauma I meant that it is not fair to assume that trauma/disease is the cause of development. There are a host of other influencers, and for her to assume that it was due to trauma is likely only based on common media stereotypes.)
I can't agree with this. My baby brother is 32 years old and deals with paranoic schizophrenia since he was 16. He hears voices, has panic attackes, is "lost" in the world, sees dark and scary shadows.... And now, 16 years later and under medication he still is different, eager, he could never read a post, especially not wirte it. He still needs observation and probably he will never be as good as Sierra seem to be today...
"I'm a normal woman with a nutty brain" who's had multiple doctors throughout her life. Everything's fine here, folks. Keep walking.
Wow, to be able to see and hear things other people can't comprehend. It's amazing.
I used to fall asleep every night and "wake up" in a different world full of things nobody else knew about. I had it all to myself and there were so many wonderful things there. My dreams helped me through depression and various other mental issues by giving me something to rely on and allowing me to retreat to a place where I inexplicably felt understood and loved in a world devoid of meaning and happiness. If not for my dreamworld, I might not even be here today, so this woman's story holds a lot of meaning to me, knowing that there's someone else out there who had the same kind of experience.
I don't know why someone down-voted you. Dreams and daydreaming was a coping mechanism for me too growing up, my dreams have unfortunately been fading since childhood but help of a dream journal they are slowly coming back. I always had hundreds of stories in my head that I played out in my free time. But this world isn't devoid of happiness and meaning, keep moving forward and always find happiness in the little things :)
Thats an awesome thing to hold onto. Your sleep was very restorative. It gave you hope and a simple form of some control. Im glad you are still here. Try to write about it....many bestsellers are from way less intriguing stories.
Nice name Sky :) and I agree with your comment. that must have been a truly amazing experience
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
What are you in about? This is just called 'imagining stuff'
How would you know? I bet you couldn't imagine yourself actually doing research about this unlike an ignorant a**e.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
It's not amazing - it's a mental disorder called schizophrenia - geeesh what a bunch of self indulging wacko's and snowflakes are on this website.
Oh vonskippy don't be a d**k. Snowflakes?
I'm not a f*****g snowflake hun. P**s off.
And my brother has schizophrenia, I know what the hell I'm talking about, unlike you.
I hope some illustrator can work with her and document all these friends before they are gone. They sound too good to just be forgotten.
i'd like to, any idea on how to contact her
Find me on Facebook at Sierra Eggum and shoot me a message! :)
OMG, this is going to be epic, I love when people with such a great imagination (reality) within them are able to pass on their visions through someone)
I've sent you a message, illustrating what I saw helped me cope and helped those around me understand my story better. You should never have to walk alone in the dark.
This is so exciting!! Like Hugo said, I think she replied somewhere below.
She replied under 'hellcat'
She's here ;) see below.
"Armchair psychology" here, but although these creatures sound both interesting and amazing, I can't shake the feeling that they were actually her way of coping with some sort of trauma or disease. I mean what she's describing sounds very much as if you'd mix schizophrenia and dissociative personality disorder, which in the mind of a child took the shape of mythical creatures. All of these creatures sound like the type a child would come across in stories, games, cartoons. And while the story she says is beautiful, I can't help but feel a little bit concerned about why the dark fox was suggesting she should "profit off of her body", and how they came to sleep with her at night and it was scary the first time. Our minds do very interesting things to protect us. I hope she's ok, nonetheless.
Hello. I am doing wonderful. I just want to make this very clear. I do not and never had schizophrenia. I've had a lot of doctors throughout my life and not one has come to the conclusion that I had schizophrenia, an identity disorder, or anything of the like. I was just a very depressed and anxious child and my "friends" we're there to help me cope with that. My friends never harmed me nor did they do malicious things to me. I'm much better today, I'm a normal woman with a nutty brain, but normal none the less. Thank you for your interest in my story and good day
Hi Sierra, and thank you for answering. I am glad to hear you are well. Please understand that I meant absolutely no harm. However, there is a contradiction in your statement when you say that your friends never harmed you or did malicious things. When you talk about Devvra at the start, the things she would do to you (push to steal, lie, cheat, choke you in your sleep, get angry at you etc) sound harmful enough. Either way, like I said, this is a topic far more complex than we can afford right now, and I am happy that you are happy.
Write a book. And I mean it! Publish it or not, it's a wonderful way to keep those memories alive and visit them whenever. This was an interesting reading and that was all I could think of. Stay safe!
Hi, im curious about tanaabaruu.. in malay language it sound like tanah baru or "new land"..
yeah Sierra write a book please and find a really good artist to bring them to life, I absolutely loved them, I'm gonna be the first one to buy it :D
I'm also going to add one more thing. From some of the research that I have done on my own, people like you often have a well-functioning pineal gland which is responsible for the production of DMT in our brain. Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) is known as the "spirit molecule" and our own brain produces it through the pineal gland. Scientist say that it is DMT that is responsible for our dream state and many mystical experiences in a waking state. Ayahuasca that I eluded to earlier, contains DMT in a natural state and helps to reactivate that which those medications previously suppressed. Again, this is not magic or science fiction but fact that modern research is now confirming.
I agree, write a novel! Surely you could outdo J.K. Rowling?!! Your fantasy world and animals/creatures sound really appealing. I bet you could make the next big box office hit! And become a famous children's author. Give it a shot!! PS--My mother's brother and their father, (my grandfather), were both paranoid schizophrenics who could be at times very physically dangerous to anyone. They saw people who were not there, heard things that were not happening. They had both been diagnosed, but not until they were very much along in life, 60's and around that age. It was terrible. You do not sound like you have schizophrenia at all. Just a great imagination, that helped you cope with life every day. Nothing wrong with that!!
Sierra, I have some interesting advice for you that might help you to better understand what happened and what these events were. Do research on ayahuasca. It's an ancient brew used as a traditional spiritual medicine in ceremonies among the indigenous peoples of the Amazon basin. Ayahuasca could provide you with the answers you might be seeking. Ayahuasca is an ancient plant medicine to which modern science has been taking interest. I went to Peru recently to experience this myself. There are many articles on the internet as well as videos on YouTube. Check it out. I can direct you to some very experienced, safe and reputable ayahuasca retreats in Peru where you could partake in this ancient ceremony and even see your friends again. Ayahuasca is known for opening the door to the "other side", so to speak. I encourage you to do your own research though. There is more to our world than most people know or can understand.
hi Sierra, Your stories and pictures reminded me of Freshwater, a new book by Akwaeke Emezi, that is technically fiction but based on the author's own experiences. The main character has many friends living with her, both good and bad, and the ending and how she lives with them is beautiful. If you haven't read it you might enjoy the comparison of your stories and the woman in the book!
Really interesting descriptions of your friends. There's so much depth to them. I particularly like the 20 tails forming a bulb and everything behind that. As many have said if you actually wrote a book about this it would be a very interesting one to read. I never had imaginary friends but I drew so much growing up as a form of escapism. The only think that ever materialised before with a voice was some freaky demon creature when I had a moment of sleep paralysis, which I've read is common. The voice felt like it was everywhere. Anyway I thought I'd share, haha. I am glad you're doing well now. Thanks for sharing your own experiences. As is apparent here it's a brave decision, since so many wish to impress an opinion.
I had similar experiences as a child, but I'm over 40 now, and don't remember much of the details anymore. The strongest memory I have is a friendly being protecting me (I wasn't abused as a child for those wondering), it it would often tell me when to close my eyes and pretend to be asleep, because the not-so-nice being was about to come in. I would feel this presence come in, and fly around my room, then leave once satisfied I was sleeping. Weird to some, no doubt, but it was what it was. I, too, was anxious and depressed; something I continued to struggle with for a long time, but finally reached a happier place. I'm glad you've got it all on record, once forgotten, it seems they're gone forever.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal treasure with us! I envy you for having friends like that to help you through hard times. I have never been so fortunate.
I understand. :)
U donot have a nutty brain. Just the opposite!! You have been given a gift. Dont let society make u fit into their box of what they think is right. It has worked afterall if u think u have a nutty or bad brain. U have no idea how important this part of your life is. They (ur friends) tried to tell u. There is a reason u have this gift. Figure it out and use it to help the universe and all in it. People may nit understand now but at ine point in time they will. Some of the all time great munds never got any recognition, (even got persucuted) untill way after passing.
https://castbox.fm/vb/78763215 This is a podcast recording I made going more in depth about my "frinds" if you want to listen so you can better understand what I went through. But please don't "diagnose" me with anything when you do not know me. You only know a fraction of who I am.
This is really strange and beautiful, thank you for sharing
I can't believe I spent an hour listening to your podcast while at work. Great story to tell and I'm glad everything turns out ok for you in the end.
Those who have tried to label you missed the beauty. You don't need to answer to them. :)
I cant find the podcast. Where is it?
.... I'm sorry in what way does her situation imply that she has dissociative *identity* disorder? And even if it was schizophrenia, it doesn't mean she was traumatized. Armchair psychology (especially poorly researched armchair psychology) doesn't help anyone. It just oversimplifies and trivializes mental illness.
I never said she has any of these issues, I just said it looked like that. Unfortunately the limitation in the messages box prohibits me to explain in more detail what I meant, but there was no sentence in which I officially diagnosed her with anything. If nothing else, it is you that assumes things freely about my statement. I do NOT trivialize mental illness. I was talking about DID when I mentioned trauma, not schizophrenia. But in the end I don't want to spark an argument. I was just stating my opinion based on the information I was provided with, nothing else.
@hellcat you stated "sounds very much like if you mixed schizophrenia and disassociation personality disorder". Stay in your armchair love. She has a gift most don't understand.
You know when the lady herself explains herself and tells you what she was going through, backed up by professionals, you don't try to claim that's not what she was going through.
@Hell Cat I thought schizophrenia or psychosis as well, I think the strong reaction against comes from years of Hollywood sensualisation of schizophrenia as something in the realms of crazy horror movie villians when in reality it's not always like that, my old school friend has these issues and when he's on his meds he like anyone else you would meet when he's not he's more self destructive but not in anyway that would make you think he's going to pick up an axe and kill people etc.
It really sounds like schizophrenia, or some kind of psychosis. Psychosis is traumatic all by its lonesome. It's like living in a nightmare or dream, the trauma doesn't necessarily need to come from an external source. The idea that she should "profit off of her body" could just be something she heard two people talking about on TV but her brain seized on to it. Like how if you fall asleep with the TV on your dreams might incorporate what you were watching.
Don't you people have any decency? The lady just asked not diagnose her ...!
Yes, true. I do agree it sounds like schizophrenia, but I prefer not to make concrete judgments. (And when I mentioned trauma I meant that it is not fair to assume that trauma/disease is the cause of development. There are a host of other influencers, and for her to assume that it was due to trauma is likely only based on common media stereotypes.)
I can't agree with this. My baby brother is 32 years old and deals with paranoic schizophrenia since he was 16. He hears voices, has panic attackes, is "lost" in the world, sees dark and scary shadows.... And now, 16 years later and under medication he still is different, eager, he could never read a post, especially not wirte it. He still needs observation and probably he will never be as good as Sierra seem to be today...
"I'm a normal woman with a nutty brain" who's had multiple doctors throughout her life. Everything's fine here, folks. Keep walking.
Wow, to be able to see and hear things other people can't comprehend. It's amazing.
I used to fall asleep every night and "wake up" in a different world full of things nobody else knew about. I had it all to myself and there were so many wonderful things there. My dreams helped me through depression and various other mental issues by giving me something to rely on and allowing me to retreat to a place where I inexplicably felt understood and loved in a world devoid of meaning and happiness. If not for my dreamworld, I might not even be here today, so this woman's story holds a lot of meaning to me, knowing that there's someone else out there who had the same kind of experience.
I don't know why someone down-voted you. Dreams and daydreaming was a coping mechanism for me too growing up, my dreams have unfortunately been fading since childhood but help of a dream journal they are slowly coming back. I always had hundreds of stories in my head that I played out in my free time. But this world isn't devoid of happiness and meaning, keep moving forward and always find happiness in the little things :)
Thats an awesome thing to hold onto. Your sleep was very restorative. It gave you hope and a simple form of some control. Im glad you are still here. Try to write about it....many bestsellers are from way less intriguing stories.
Nice name Sky :) and I agree with your comment. that must have been a truly amazing experience
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
What are you in about? This is just called 'imagining stuff'
How would you know? I bet you couldn't imagine yourself actually doing research about this unlike an ignorant a**e.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
It's not amazing - it's a mental disorder called schizophrenia - geeesh what a bunch of self indulging wacko's and snowflakes are on this website.
Oh vonskippy don't be a d**k. Snowflakes?
I'm not a f*****g snowflake hun. P**s off.
And my brother has schizophrenia, I know what the hell I'm talking about, unlike you.