Man’s Ultimatum Backfires When Wife Takes Back Control And Packs Her Bags Instead Of Obeying Him
In relationships, just like politics or business, not all partnerships are created equally. Or, as is the case for Reddit user 194842, upheld fairly.
In a post on r/Marriage, the woman explained that she and her husband agreed that she would work until they had kids. However, not even a year had passed, and he started disapproving of her job.
Recently, this culminated in an ultimatum: either become a stay-at-home wife or I walk away. And the man sounds serious.
A happy life consists of different things for different people, but for this woman, her job was one of the main components
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
However, her husband decided to take it away from her
Image credits: lazy_bear / freepik (not the actual photo)
Shortly after publishing her confession, the woman gave an update to provide more context for her situation
Image credits: User_194842
This story is an example of why women’s participation in the workforce diminishes as they enter committed relationships
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)
The arguments against married women working have a history of being personal, even on a broader socio-political level in Western democracies.
For example, in Wisconsin, lawmakers passed a resolution in 1935 stating that when married women with working husbands got jobs, they became the “calling card for disintegration of family life.”
The committee said, “The large number of husbands and wives working for the state raises a serious moral question, as this committee feels that the practice of birth control is encouraged, and the selfishness that arises from the income of employment of husband and wife bids fair to break down civilization and a healthy atmosphere.”
Nowadays, a study by UN Women and the International Labor Force, called ‘The Impact of Marriage and Children on Labour Market Participation,’ reveals that men still tend to have high labor force participation rates regardless of the type of household they live in. Thus, there is little variation in their participation rates (higher than 92 percent across all regions—except Oceania).
For women, on the other hand, labor force participation rates vary significantly, depending upon the household type they belong to. Generally, women in lone-person households have much higher participation rates (82 percent globally) than women in other types of households (64 percent in couple-only households, 49 percent in couple households with a child under six, and 41 percent in extended-family households with a child under six).
The presence of children reduces women’s labor force participation and increases men’s by similar proportions in percentage-point terms. This indicates that women’s realities are different from men’s, based on the type of household they live in.
Women give up their economic independence (mothers in families) or take on more economic responsibility (lone mothers) as household needs dictate. And while we can’t know for certain without the complete picture, since this couple didn’t have any children before the man started making his demands, it sounds like he was turning the Redditor into his dependent, whether he was doing it consciously or not.
The woman’s honesty has touched many people, and they were eager to express their support for her
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He'll divorce you if you don't quit your job? Good. LET HIM. It is just brilliant when the lazy misogynistic trash takes itself out.
I was going to say she should never sleep with him again because he is going to try and baby trap her.
Load More Replies...So in other words this creep doesn't want a wife; he wants a slave. Eff that.
You do understand what slave means, right? Slaves can't leave. Slaves don't go to reddit for advice and get to have conversations with their master. Slaves get beaten. Slaves get starved. Should I go on?!
Load More Replies...(Almost) never have I seen a more clear case of divorse his a**. Do these men still exist?
Yes unfortunately they do which is why after 3 awful marriage’s like this n now 60 I won’t go near mother man ever again !
Load More Replies...Even so, someone reading this might get the courage to take action and leave if they are in a similar situation.
Load More Replies...this is a huge red flag he wants her to be dependant on him this will turn into an abusive relationship if she stays and quits her job. He will know he can get her to do anything he wants knowing she cant leave and will control her and probably be physically abusive. It makes no sense that he wants her to quit her job especially as he doesnt provide for her.
To all those people who are saying don't get pregnant, don't get baby trapped, stop perpetuating the harmful myths that getting pregnant is a reason to stay and bring a child into an abusive household. Stop. You pretend you're giving empowering advice but you're just reinforcing the perceived pressure on a woman to stay. If a relationship is bad, leave, no qualifications necessary.
Yes, you should leave no matter what, but nevertheless it’s usually much easier if you don’t have kids.
Load More Replies...I rarely go right for divorce as a solution but in this case I can’t help but feel this guy is scum and pulled a fast one on this poor woman who was already in a vulnerable situation. She needs to divorce this creep and find the good husband she clearly deserves. I hope she finds him :)
Stay at your parents place, start a divorce and take him for half of everything, live a happy life.
Controlled women n nasty pos men doing the controlling of their mothers so it’s ligit all they know
Load More Replies...This is a year old. Hopefully she got on the pill or stopped the deed altogether. He wants to marry his mommy apparently, so let him. Hopefully she took him to the curb.
Run before he gets you pregnant!! Head for the hills and don't look back. No man worth anything will refuse to clean or cook. He has to know how to do and help with both! You aren't mama to a man baby.
Run if you are pregnant. Don't stay in a bad relationship because of a potential baby who will also be abused. Anywhere you live there are options. Red state there is support in finding abortion help, adoption help etc and in the civilised world it's even easier. Staying and raising a child in a toxic house is the only option that shouldn't be considered.
Load More Replies...You need to must admit you've made a mistake and leave. He's NOT husband material and is clearly too immature and selfish to be at all trustworthy. Dump the chump.
Why marry someone you have never live with? This isn’t the 1950’s. What do you see in him that you like? He seems like an abusive a*****e from beginning to end, not s single redeeming thing. Divorce him and find a kind, generous, supportive man instead. Do NOT get pregnant by the husband!
Divorce him. If you really want to try, tell him that you will quit your job if he takes his paycheck and puts enough into an account to pay all of the monthly bills, and then splits the remainder 50/50 with you (separate accounts).
OP needs to go ahead and get the divorce. Husband doesn't want to be a partner nor does he respect her. Run, baby, run.
Get out NOW n stay out he’s a nasty pos as a 60 yr old I was in a marriage like this for 14 yrs being mentally controlled to the point it ruined my last marriage in which I had my 23-20 yr old as I refused to let it happen again so I got to strong I’m now alone happily a lone mum housebound out in the sticks but I’m free n I’m staying single now you do not need a man to define you my lovely he will destroy you and you’ve come so far with your mental health please don’t let him take it away again divorce him he’s a sorry for this but he’s N INHUMAN C**T ! Blessed be x we got your back x
You could start a color guard camp with the amount of red flags hubby is waving.
The manner in which he's speaking to her makes it sould like his behavior is apart of their culture. Why then would she have to promise to quit her job and become a stay at home mom. Also expecting her to do all of the chores without help is a giveaway. I think if she doesn't like the arrangement no she should walk away. It's hard to offer advice as we don't know anything about her culture/religion. With that she should be prepared for any implications of the separation.
Men like OP‘s husband exist in Western culture, too.
Load More Replies...He'll divorce you if you don't quit your job? Good. LET HIM. It is just brilliant when the lazy misogynistic trash takes itself out.
I was going to say she should never sleep with him again because he is going to try and baby trap her.
Load More Replies...So in other words this creep doesn't want a wife; he wants a slave. Eff that.
You do understand what slave means, right? Slaves can't leave. Slaves don't go to reddit for advice and get to have conversations with their master. Slaves get beaten. Slaves get starved. Should I go on?!
Load More Replies...(Almost) never have I seen a more clear case of divorse his a**. Do these men still exist?
Yes unfortunately they do which is why after 3 awful marriage’s like this n now 60 I won’t go near mother man ever again !
Load More Replies...Even so, someone reading this might get the courage to take action and leave if they are in a similar situation.
Load More Replies...this is a huge red flag he wants her to be dependant on him this will turn into an abusive relationship if she stays and quits her job. He will know he can get her to do anything he wants knowing she cant leave and will control her and probably be physically abusive. It makes no sense that he wants her to quit her job especially as he doesnt provide for her.
To all those people who are saying don't get pregnant, don't get baby trapped, stop perpetuating the harmful myths that getting pregnant is a reason to stay and bring a child into an abusive household. Stop. You pretend you're giving empowering advice but you're just reinforcing the perceived pressure on a woman to stay. If a relationship is bad, leave, no qualifications necessary.
Yes, you should leave no matter what, but nevertheless it’s usually much easier if you don’t have kids.
Load More Replies...I rarely go right for divorce as a solution but in this case I can’t help but feel this guy is scum and pulled a fast one on this poor woman who was already in a vulnerable situation. She needs to divorce this creep and find the good husband she clearly deserves. I hope she finds him :)
Stay at your parents place, start a divorce and take him for half of everything, live a happy life.
Controlled women n nasty pos men doing the controlling of their mothers so it’s ligit all they know
Load More Replies...This is a year old. Hopefully she got on the pill or stopped the deed altogether. He wants to marry his mommy apparently, so let him. Hopefully she took him to the curb.
Run before he gets you pregnant!! Head for the hills and don't look back. No man worth anything will refuse to clean or cook. He has to know how to do and help with both! You aren't mama to a man baby.
Run if you are pregnant. Don't stay in a bad relationship because of a potential baby who will also be abused. Anywhere you live there are options. Red state there is support in finding abortion help, adoption help etc and in the civilised world it's even easier. Staying and raising a child in a toxic house is the only option that shouldn't be considered.
Load More Replies...You need to must admit you've made a mistake and leave. He's NOT husband material and is clearly too immature and selfish to be at all trustworthy. Dump the chump.
Why marry someone you have never live with? This isn’t the 1950’s. What do you see in him that you like? He seems like an abusive a*****e from beginning to end, not s single redeeming thing. Divorce him and find a kind, generous, supportive man instead. Do NOT get pregnant by the husband!
Divorce him. If you really want to try, tell him that you will quit your job if he takes his paycheck and puts enough into an account to pay all of the monthly bills, and then splits the remainder 50/50 with you (separate accounts).
OP needs to go ahead and get the divorce. Husband doesn't want to be a partner nor does he respect her. Run, baby, run.
Get out NOW n stay out he’s a nasty pos as a 60 yr old I was in a marriage like this for 14 yrs being mentally controlled to the point it ruined my last marriage in which I had my 23-20 yr old as I refused to let it happen again so I got to strong I’m now alone happily a lone mum housebound out in the sticks but I’m free n I’m staying single now you do not need a man to define you my lovely he will destroy you and you’ve come so far with your mental health please don’t let him take it away again divorce him he’s a sorry for this but he’s N INHUMAN C**T ! Blessed be x we got your back x
You could start a color guard camp with the amount of red flags hubby is waving.
The manner in which he's speaking to her makes it sould like his behavior is apart of their culture. Why then would she have to promise to quit her job and become a stay at home mom. Also expecting her to do all of the chores without help is a giveaway. I think if she doesn't like the arrangement no she should walk away. It's hard to offer advice as we don't know anything about her culture/religion. With that she should be prepared for any implications of the separation.
Men like OP‘s husband exist in Western culture, too.
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