“She Lied”: Dad Tells Pediatrician The Truth About What His Wife Has Been Feeding Their 2-Month-Old Daughter
Your child’s health should be your priority. Many parents feel like they will always know what’s best for their kid, however, it’s also vital that they listen to professional medical advice. For instance, when it comes to what they should and should not be feeding their baby. Ignoring recommendations can be very dangerous.
A dad turned to the AITA online community for their advice after dealing with an emotionally complex situation. He had ‘ratted out’ his wife to their daughter’s pediatrician for feeding her food other than formula, which was recommended. They got into a huge argument. You’ll find the full story, in the OP’s own words, below. Bored Panda has reached out to redditor u/Apprehensive_Pop_363, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from him.
A dad turned to the internet for help after a complicated and emotionally draining situation with his wife
Image credits: Lucy Wolski (not the actual photo)
He shared how she had gone against the doctor’s recommendations on what they should feed their baby daughter
Image credits: Rachel Loughman (not the actual photo)
The dad had finally had enough and decided that it was time for a heavy dose of the truth
Image credits: Francisco Venâncio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Apprehensive_Pop_363
Most doctors agree on how long babies should be breastfed or given formula
Image credits: stevanovicigor (not the actual photo)
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization, it is recommended that mothers breastfeed their babies exclusively for the first 6 months of their lives. It’s recommended to do this until at least they’re 12 months old, as breastfeeding helps defend against infections, allergies, and chronic conditions, as the mom passes on her antibodies through the milk. Formula is a viable alternative, though it provides fewer benefits.
Generally, it’s recommended to wait until your baby is 6 months old before starting it on solid foods. As always: speak to your doctor or pediatrician before making any major nutritional changes. And don’t give your 2-month-old oatmeal when you’ve been specifically told to feed her formula.
The couple got into a massive argument over what happened at the pediatrician’s office
Image credits: damirkhabirov (not the actual photo)
The entire family drama came to a point at the pediatrician’s office after the dad told them about what his wife had really been feeding their then 2-month-old daughter. The woman had lied to the doctor before, claiming that she’d been giving the baby only formula, which was the initial recommendation.
“I was angry because she lied,” redditor u/Apprehensive_Pop_363 shared with the AITA online community. His wife was incredibly upset that he had told their baby’s pediatrician the truth. But probably any parent reading the story would have done literally the same thing: you should never lie to your doctor. Not when it comes to your health. Not when it comes to your child’s health. Medical professionals are not mind-readers, they need specific information.
Some internet users thought that there might be some bigger issues at play here
Image credits: Farknot (not the actual photo)
In a few additional comments underneath his post, the dad shared some more worrying news about what happened next. What he shared about his wife’s behavior and how she “went ballistic” led some redditors to theorize that she might have been suffering from postpartum depression or even postpartum psychosis.
The NHS explains that 1 in 500 mothers suffer from postpartum psychosis after giving birth. This is a serious mental health illness and should be treated as a medical emergency. It is imperative that you reach out to medical professionals immediately.
“Symptoms usually start suddenly within the first 2 weeks after giving birth—often within hours or days of giving birth. More rarely, they can develop several weeks after the baby is born,” the NHS explains that postpartum psychosis is different from the so-called ‘baby blues’ which can last a few days.
Some symptoms of postpartum psychosis include delusions, hallucinations, a manic mood, a low mood, the loss of inhibitions, feelings of fear or suspicion, restlessness, feeling confused, and behaving in a way that is completely out of character.
The dad revealed some more sensitive information about his family in the comments of his story
The vast majority of readers were sympathetic and were in the dad’s corner. Here’s what some of them said
However, some internet users called the dad out for not reacting to what was happening earlier
The updates are scary. Sounds like full psychosis. Dad takes the baby though it seems and called a crisis hotline for mom. https://www.reddit.com/user/Apprehensive_Pop_363/
Mom's behavior is extremely scary right now and I can imagine it's been incredibly difficult for dad to work out what to do. I'm sure he's terrified of the thoughts of taking his child away from her mom even though it's the right thing to do right now. She needs to be evaluated and the baby needs to be fed and cared for properly. Her behavior towards the baby's diet is madness right now. Two very small bottles of formula are not adequate for the nutrition and development of an infant. A two month old just doesn't eat enough at one time in a bottle to get enough nutrients. This is so disturbing and I hope that mom gets the help that she needs. Who knows what has been going on while he's at work and sleeping as far as feeding and stuff goes. They're so lucky that the baby hasn't choked or aspirated on any of the foods that she's been giving her. I can't even wrap my head around it, it's so scary.
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What is it with people who think that producing a baby immediately makes them an expert? So she is ignoring the (very valid) concerns of the doctor because for some magical reason "she knows better" but still wants to keep it a secret? Sorry, she knows she is messing up and the poor baby is suffering bc of that. Tell the doctor and ffs make her feed the baby properly.
Wife was mentally ill. Husband took the baby and called the crisis hotline, who were sending people over to deal with her. He didn't update after that, unfortunately.
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For once, do exactly what she said: Go stay with your parents, AND TAKE THE BABY WITH YOU!
Looking at the original Reddit account - this post is two years old and there hasn't been any update. The OP's comments talk about his plans to get his daughter to safety, and how this revealed huge mental health struggles the mother was having. While I think it's important for people to know these things about infant nutrition, and a good "who's right here?" story gets people's attention, I don't think this post should have been used. The account history shares that there's something more serious going on, which was left out of this post. This was two years ago - whatever happened, happened, and feedback and attention from more internet strangers is probably the last thing that could help the dad and his now hopefully healthy and thriving toddler and partner. I just feel like this wasn't a good choice of content
I imagine feedback from internet strangers was actually helpful because it let him realize just how off the wall his wife's behavior really was and seems to have prompted him taking the kid and trying to get her help.
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Wife might be going through some bad post-partum stuff, but OP didn't make her "look" like a bad mom. Feeding baby something they can't handle yet is bad parenting. Not taking care of yourself when your issues effect your ability to parent is bad parenting. I hope the wife gets the help she needs so baby girl gets the mom she deserves
When I was a kid, a family nearby did this to their newborn. Poor baby started getting really sick and his parents never even considered it was the food that they SHOULDN'T have been feeding him. He's almost 15 now and has permanent issues with his digestive system.
So she'll trust the doctor to do something about so-called colic but won't trust advice on feeding? What the heck, that baby's going to be nutrient deprived and addicted to sugar.
I'm an MD. 1. if you ignore pediatric requirements, your baby could end up with perforated bowel and 2. wtf is her issue, get her away from the child *fast*
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't a simplistic definition of "perforated" : an object with holes in it?
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The media and public often confuse postpartum depression with postpartum psychosis. Postpartum psychosis is rare and is considered a medical emergency and should be dealt with as such (ie call for emergency services or go to an emergency room). Postpartum psychosis is not the same as postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. You can read more about postpartum mental health concerns and find support across the globe at postpartum support international https://www.postpartum.net/ For those in the US, the HSA now has a 24/7 maternal mental health line for before, during, and after pregnancy in both Spanish and English and access to interpreter services for other languages. https://mchb.hrsa.gov/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline 1-833-943-5746. Note also that in the US you can now call 988 if you’re having a mental health crisis.
This was supposed to be in response to the Reddit update saying it was a psychosis. Sorry, it ended up in the wrong place. :(
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If you click the orange hyperlink in paragraph two of this “article” which reads “complex situation,” it will take you to the original Reddit post. This includes more of the story and how the father followed up.
I’ve witnessed postpartum psychosis and it’s much more dangerous than many realized. Friend developed serotonin surge syndrome after giving birth that prevented her from sleeping, she wrote it off as new mommy mode whilst hiding what it was doing to her, went fully psychotic and envisioned her & the infant as angels in heaven. She tried the vacuum clean hose to car exhaust technique of the ascending this mortal coil, but next door neighbor heard the car, smelled the carbon monoxide and broke in to rescue them. A previously sane, rational, logical, emotionally sound woman lost it and nearly took two lives. Because we don’t have a large enough dialogue around the bad things that can happen after childbirth and we stigmatize mothers who aren’t naturally perfect parents. It can happen to anyone after giving birth.
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If / When the baby dies from choking to death it's going to be on the dad, he knew the baby is being physically abuse (meaning the baby is having to endure intense stomach pain from the food) and he didn't protect his daughter. F**k the mom, kick her a*s out or you leave, either way, only the dad should have custody of the baby while the mom can only have supervised visits ... she's going to kill the baby, it's obvious. Hopefully CPS removes the baby from that home since the dad isn't protecting her from the mom's abuse.
CPS isn't the fix you think it is. It removes kids from dangerous situations, but where do those kids end up? Some find good homes. Others are passed from home to home, sometimes sexually abused, only to age out of a system that was too over-run w/ dire need to properly care for them. Being deposited in the streets in her late teens, with mere pocket change and few job skills, is Not what anyone should want for this poor baby, either. The mother's had a mental breakdown. What she needs is medical care. What this family needs is support, which includes More understanding & expertise, not less. Kicking out someone in a health crisis - mental or otherwise - is why there are so many homeless people. Lack of compassion for others is a real disease, and it seems to be spreading. Care for people, instead. Even for those who are incapable of taking care of an infant. Hopefully, it was a temporary condition. I pray this family is now healthy, happy & intact, as that would be the ideal outcome.
Load More Replies... yes. the guy is the A$$hole. not for ratting his wife out to the doctor, but for allowing her to feed the baby that sh¡t in the first place.
The mom needs help asap. Hte hromonal crazynesss can trigger psychosis or other sever mental illnesses. It is not super common, thank God, but it can happen. I know of two cases where the mother never fully recovered and the children lived with their Dads. It is incredibly tragic and nobody's fault
Man, I cannot believe in this day of information a mother would feed her newborn anything other than breast milk or formula!! Total abuse and she cannot be trusted with her baby, period. I would have someone with her at all times until the baby is much older. And go to the Dr with your wife and get her looked at.
Well, this is interesting, but the original reddit post was from two years ago. So what we think is even more irrelevant than it would be anyway.
That is NOT a normal thing to do TBH. There is a reason babies don't usually have teeth, and an even better one for why they like milk!!! (or formula!) I cannot stress it enough to new moms, pay attention to your feelings. It's normal to be sad and emotional, it's not normal to behave like your life is over.
She was definitely NOT a good mother with that s**t. And he was right to rat her out to the Dr. She could have killed his child.
CPS isn't the fix you think it is. It eliminates kids from hazardous circumstances, however where do those children wind up? Some track down great homes. Others are passed from one home to another, occasionally physically manhandled, just to progress in years out of a framework that was too over-run w/desperate need to really focus on them appropriately. Being kept in the roads in her late adolescents, with simple pocket change and hardly any work abilities, isn't what anybody ought to need for this unfortunate child, by the same token. more know https://capronicoaching.com/dissociation-after-birth/
Mom's and dads are supposed to do what's best for their child. The dad did his part, but the mom is lacking severely. Most doctors know what they're doing, so it's best to listen to them. And if it's a serious thing, you can get a second opinion. That man is a good father, I can't say much about the mother.
I'd be going to child services and getting sole custody of that kid. Leave the mad woman before she kills the kid.
Mental health-related troubles are an illness, stigmatized so badly that it make some people avoid the treatment they so badly need. No one chooses to have mental issues, including post-partum ones. When we love someone (esp enough to create new life with them), we get them help when they need it. Both the infant (whose physical needs DO take priority) and the Mom can be helped here. No need to choose to save just one. Some folks are able to carry & deliver babies w/o any issues at all, while others experience profound health struggles as a result. Let's Stop stigmatizing females for the bad things that happen to them, esp new mothers. It's a mindset that only furthers abuse, rather than rectifying it. Care enough to give people the support & assistance they need, instead. That's the requirement for more positive outcomes.
Load More Replies... Yes she is a spoiled brat, as when you get a child their needs should trumf your in this kinds of cases. However such a message should probably be delivered in a version that is a bit more sugar coated in order to prenvent heeles being dug in too deep and starting a war. The wife might feel that he ratted her out by telling the peditrician the truth, but if she has a problem with that, it must be because she know that what she does is problematic. You really should be able to tell a doctor that kinds of things, and in this case I think the wellbeing of a child in pain is far more important than you wife not liking to get exposed. It might be hard to do, but I think that prioritising the daugther at the expense of the wife is the right thing to do at first, and then try to save the wife from whatever she is strugling with after the daugther's safty is secured. She somehow has lost it, and therefore her opinion must be overuled until she is back on track.
That is really not the issue. Breast milk is "designed" by nature to fullfill all the dietry needs of a baby that age, and fomula is made to mimic that, however potatoes does not have those qualities, and hence they are not fit as food for a human that young. Basically putting an infant on a diet that consist of anything other than breastmilk (or something very similar) will mean that it does not get all the nutrients that it needs to grow, and that will cause all sorts of digestive problems as it is the case here. Let it go on for too long, and the baby might not grow properly due to malnutrition and a lack of certain vitamins, minerals etc. A baby grows a lot in a short amount of time, and requires a lot energy to do so. That energy is available from breast milk due to its high fat content, whereas potatoes are virtually fatfree (unless you fry them)
Load More Replies... The updates are scary. Sounds like full psychosis. Dad takes the baby though it seems and called a crisis hotline for mom. https://www.reddit.com/user/Apprehensive_Pop_363/
Mom's behavior is extremely scary right now and I can imagine it's been incredibly difficult for dad to work out what to do. I'm sure he's terrified of the thoughts of taking his child away from her mom even though it's the right thing to do right now. She needs to be evaluated and the baby needs to be fed and cared for properly. Her behavior towards the baby's diet is madness right now. Two very small bottles of formula are not adequate for the nutrition and development of an infant. A two month old just doesn't eat enough at one time in a bottle to get enough nutrients. This is so disturbing and I hope that mom gets the help that she needs. Who knows what has been going on while he's at work and sleeping as far as feeding and stuff goes. They're so lucky that the baby hasn't choked or aspirated on any of the foods that she's been giving her. I can't even wrap my head around it, it's so scary.
Load More Replies... What is it with people who think that producing a baby immediately makes them an expert? So she is ignoring the (very valid) concerns of the doctor because for some magical reason "she knows better" but still wants to keep it a secret? Sorry, she knows she is messing up and the poor baby is suffering bc of that. Tell the doctor and ffs make her feed the baby properly.
Wife was mentally ill. Husband took the baby and called the crisis hotline, who were sending people over to deal with her. He didn't update after that, unfortunately.
Load More Replies... For once, do exactly what she said: Go stay with your parents, AND TAKE THE BABY WITH YOU!
Looking at the original Reddit account - this post is two years old and there hasn't been any update. The OP's comments talk about his plans to get his daughter to safety, and how this revealed huge mental health struggles the mother was having. While I think it's important for people to know these things about infant nutrition, and a good "who's right here?" story gets people's attention, I don't think this post should have been used. The account history shares that there's something more serious going on, which was left out of this post. This was two years ago - whatever happened, happened, and feedback and attention from more internet strangers is probably the last thing that could help the dad and his now hopefully healthy and thriving toddler and partner. I just feel like this wasn't a good choice of content
I imagine feedback from internet strangers was actually helpful because it let him realize just how off the wall his wife's behavior really was and seems to have prompted him taking the kid and trying to get her help.
Load More Replies... Wife might be going through some bad post-partum stuff, but OP didn't make her "look" like a bad mom. Feeding baby something they can't handle yet is bad parenting. Not taking care of yourself when your issues effect your ability to parent is bad parenting. I hope the wife gets the help she needs so baby girl gets the mom she deserves
When I was a kid, a family nearby did this to their newborn. Poor baby started getting really sick and his parents never even considered it was the food that they SHOULDN'T have been feeding him. He's almost 15 now and has permanent issues with his digestive system.
So she'll trust the doctor to do something about so-called colic but won't trust advice on feeding? What the heck, that baby's going to be nutrient deprived and addicted to sugar.
I'm an MD. 1. if you ignore pediatric requirements, your baby could end up with perforated bowel and 2. wtf is her issue, get her away from the child *fast*
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't a simplistic definition of "perforated" : an object with holes in it?
Load More Replies... The media and public often confuse postpartum depression with postpartum psychosis. Postpartum psychosis is rare and is considered a medical emergency and should be dealt with as such (ie call for emergency services or go to an emergency room). Postpartum psychosis is not the same as postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. You can read more about postpartum mental health concerns and find support across the globe at postpartum support international https://www.postpartum.net/ For those in the US, the HSA now has a 24/7 maternal mental health line for before, during, and after pregnancy in both Spanish and English and access to interpreter services for other languages. https://mchb.hrsa.gov/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline 1-833-943-5746. Note also that in the US you can now call 988 if you’re having a mental health crisis.
This was supposed to be in response to the Reddit update saying it was a psychosis. Sorry, it ended up in the wrong place. :(
Load More Replies... If you click the orange hyperlink in paragraph two of this “article” which reads “complex situation,” it will take you to the original Reddit post. This includes more of the story and how the father followed up.
I’ve witnessed postpartum psychosis and it’s much more dangerous than many realized. Friend developed serotonin surge syndrome after giving birth that prevented her from sleeping, she wrote it off as new mommy mode whilst hiding what it was doing to her, went fully psychotic and envisioned her & the infant as angels in heaven. She tried the vacuum clean hose to car exhaust technique of the ascending this mortal coil, but next door neighbor heard the car, smelled the carbon monoxide and broke in to rescue them. A previously sane, rational, logical, emotionally sound woman lost it and nearly took two lives. Because we don’t have a large enough dialogue around the bad things that can happen after childbirth and we stigmatize mothers who aren’t naturally perfect parents. It can happen to anyone after giving birth.
Load More Replies... If / When the baby dies from choking to death it's going to be on the dad, he knew the baby is being physically abuse (meaning the baby is having to endure intense stomach pain from the food) and he didn't protect his daughter. F**k the mom, kick her a*s out or you leave, either way, only the dad should have custody of the baby while the mom can only have supervised visits ... she's going to kill the baby, it's obvious. Hopefully CPS removes the baby from that home since the dad isn't protecting her from the mom's abuse.
CPS isn't the fix you think it is. It removes kids from dangerous situations, but where do those kids end up? Some find good homes. Others are passed from home to home, sometimes sexually abused, only to age out of a system that was too over-run w/ dire need to properly care for them. Being deposited in the streets in her late teens, with mere pocket change and few job skills, is Not what anyone should want for this poor baby, either. The mother's had a mental breakdown. What she needs is medical care. What this family needs is support, which includes More understanding & expertise, not less. Kicking out someone in a health crisis - mental or otherwise - is why there are so many homeless people. Lack of compassion for others is a real disease, and it seems to be spreading. Care for people, instead. Even for those who are incapable of taking care of an infant. Hopefully, it was a temporary condition. I pray this family is now healthy, happy & intact, as that would be the ideal outcome.
Load More Replies... yes. the guy is the A$$hole. not for ratting his wife out to the doctor, but for allowing her to feed the baby that sh¡t in the first place.
The mom needs help asap. Hte hromonal crazynesss can trigger psychosis or other sever mental illnesses. It is not super common, thank God, but it can happen. I know of two cases where the mother never fully recovered and the children lived with their Dads. It is incredibly tragic and nobody's fault
Man, I cannot believe in this day of information a mother would feed her newborn anything other than breast milk or formula!! Total abuse and she cannot be trusted with her baby, period. I would have someone with her at all times until the baby is much older. And go to the Dr with your wife and get her looked at.
Well, this is interesting, but the original reddit post was from two years ago. So what we think is even more irrelevant than it would be anyway.
That is NOT a normal thing to do TBH. There is a reason babies don't usually have teeth, and an even better one for why they like milk!!! (or formula!) I cannot stress it enough to new moms, pay attention to your feelings. It's normal to be sad and emotional, it's not normal to behave like your life is over.
She was definitely NOT a good mother with that s**t. And he was right to rat her out to the Dr. She could have killed his child.
CPS isn't the fix you think it is. It eliminates kids from hazardous circumstances, however where do those children wind up? Some track down great homes. Others are passed from one home to another, occasionally physically manhandled, just to progress in years out of a framework that was too over-run w/desperate need to really focus on them appropriately. Being kept in the roads in her late adolescents, with simple pocket change and hardly any work abilities, isn't what anybody ought to need for this unfortunate child, by the same token. more know https://capronicoaching.com/dissociation-after-birth/
Mom's and dads are supposed to do what's best for their child. The dad did his part, but the mom is lacking severely. Most doctors know what they're doing, so it's best to listen to them. And if it's a serious thing, you can get a second opinion. That man is a good father, I can't say much about the mother.
I'd be going to child services and getting sole custody of that kid. Leave the mad woman before she kills the kid.
Mental health-related troubles are an illness, stigmatized so badly that it make some people avoid the treatment they so badly need. No one chooses to have mental issues, including post-partum ones. When we love someone (esp enough to create new life with them), we get them help when they need it. Both the infant (whose physical needs DO take priority) and the Mom can be helped here. No need to choose to save just one. Some folks are able to carry & deliver babies w/o any issues at all, while others experience profound health struggles as a result. Let's Stop stigmatizing females for the bad things that happen to them, esp new mothers. It's a mindset that only furthers abuse, rather than rectifying it. Care enough to give people the support & assistance they need, instead. That's the requirement for more positive outcomes.
Load More Replies... Yes she is a spoiled brat, as when you get a child their needs should trumf your in this kinds of cases. However such a message should probably be delivered in a version that is a bit more sugar coated in order to prenvent heeles being dug in too deep and starting a war. The wife might feel that he ratted her out by telling the peditrician the truth, but if she has a problem with that, it must be because she know that what she does is problematic. You really should be able to tell a doctor that kinds of things, and in this case I think the wellbeing of a child in pain is far more important than you wife not liking to get exposed. It might be hard to do, but I think that prioritising the daugther at the expense of the wife is the right thing to do at first, and then try to save the wife from whatever she is strugling with after the daugther's safty is secured. She somehow has lost it, and therefore her opinion must be overuled until she is back on track.
That is really not the issue. Breast milk is "designed" by nature to fullfill all the dietry needs of a baby that age, and fomula is made to mimic that, however potatoes does not have those qualities, and hence they are not fit as food for a human that young. Basically putting an infant on a diet that consist of anything other than breastmilk (or something very similar) will mean that it does not get all the nutrients that it needs to grow, and that will cause all sorts of digestive problems as it is the case here. Let it go on for too long, and the baby might not grow properly due to malnutrition and a lack of certain vitamins, minerals etc. A baby grows a lot in a short amount of time, and requires a lot energy to do so. That energy is available from breast milk due to its high fat content, whereas potatoes are virtually fatfree (unless you fry them)
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