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97
“It’s Not A Prank, It’s Insane”: People Urge Woman To Run After Husband’s Deadly “Joke”
A spouse is supposed to be your other half, someone you intend to grow old with. And for that marriage to last, you must be able to trust that person with your life, among many other things.
That trust dissipated for this couple one night when the husband pranked his wife by jokingly dangling her from a parking garage from a few floors above the ground. When the woman didn’t take his antics kindly, he tried to turn the tables by faulting her for ruining their evening.
Despite being in grave danger, the woman still wondered if she was out of line for canceling their date plans after what happened.
RELATED:
You must be able to trust your spouse with your life
Image credits: Haberdoedas / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman, however, felt her life had been threatened thanks to her husband’s “prank”
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But instead of showing remorse, he called her out for ruining their date night
Image credits: anon
Domestic abuse carries profound psychological effects
Domestic abuse is commonly linked with physical violence. However, other actions that put the other person in danger also fall under this category.
The United Nations’ definition includes behaviors “that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, and manipulate” the spouse. As for what the woman went through based on her story, legal experts officially refer to it as cruel and barbarous treatment.
It is generally defined as the act of endangering a spouse’s life or health. In most jurisdictions, it is a ground for divorce.
Such traumatic experiences often lead to long-term mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. As noted by the US Office on Women’s Health, the abused may also experience shutting other people out, trust issues, and substance use problems.
The effects of domestic abuse may also affect the person’s ability to socialize. According to a 2022 study published in the National Library of Medicine, the controlling behavior they experienced from abusive partners may cause feelings of hopelessness and isolation. This makes it difficult for the abused to seek and access support services.
Image credits: Daniel Martinez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
It will take a long while for an abusive partner to change, and an exit may be necessary
Based on her story, the woman’s husband showed abusive, manipulative behavior by trying to pin the blame on her and downplaying it as a “joke.” His actions could’ve led to a much worse outcome, yet he sees nothing gravely wrong with what he did.
According to author and psychologist Dr. Jeanne Segal, hoping an abusive partner will change isn’t going to be quick and easy. Worse, the abuse will likely continue.
In an article for HelpGuide.org, Dr. Segal stated that there is no guarantee for change even if the partner is in counseling or promises to stop. The next best move would be to plan for an exit.
In doing so, safety planning is necessary. Dr. Segal advises knowing the abuser’s red flags and coming up with several reasons to leave without triggering their anger. Establishing code words can also help notify friends or neighbors about potential danger.
The author likely lost trust in her husband due to his actions, and he showed no remorse whatsoever. A similar situation may happen again in the future, and she may not be as lucky. She may need to reevaluate her marriage and consider seeking professional help if necessary.
Most people sided with the woman, with some urging her to run away
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What do you think ?
Rick Murray 7 months ago
She lost her appetite? FFS, she was *that* close to losing her life. Leave, now. A guy punches his wife in the face, it's a*****t. A guy pretends to pitch his wife over the side of a car park, it's a prank? Bullsh¡t. Don't be alone with someone who thinks that sort of thing is funny, and I'd echo the calls to file a police report. Sorry, but there's no coming back from this. Leave.
Sue 7 months ago
He didn't think it was funny. He's a*****e, and it was a threat. Can't believe she didn't press charges.
Load More Replies...
Littlemiss 7 months ago
Wow what a joke. I think someone should do the same to the husband and see if he thinks it's funny too.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
The only way she’s an AH is to have gone home with him.
Load More Replies...
BrownEyedPanda 7 months ago
Dangling her over a ledge while she's screaming her head off was OP'S husband's way of saying that he was in control and she was not. That he could end her life at a moment's notice, and she would be powerless to stop him. I hope she listens and heads for the hills. He was testing the waters, seeing what she would tolerate. She needs to get out--NOW., file a police report, and tell her family and friends. Leave that monster, file for divorce, block anyone who sides with him, but screenshot any and all texts and emails he sends her. This situation can escalate from a-b-u-s-e to m-u r-d-e-r in the blink of an eye.
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
When he saw how scared she was, that he didn't immediately apologize and try to care for her/make it up to her as best he can, means get out. The weird threats and could your survive taunts means get out. This man is dangerous.
Sue 7 months ago
He's threatening her with what he can do, and meanwhile he is getting her used to being abused. It will go worse for her now, even if she divorces. She need to press charges & get a restraining order. I bet there are cameras somewhere around that caught it.
Load More Replies...
Sergy Yeltsen 7 months ago
I do not understand why all of a sudden "pranking" is THE thing to be doing - whether to friends, relative or complete strangers. And it's no "Candid Camera" silly stuff. It's humiliating, destructive, cruel. And all for stupid things like internet likes or a viral post somewhere. Society has always been full of psychopaths and misfits, but there seem to be so many more of them and so little consequences for them,.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
It isn't the thing to be doing. It's just an excuse used by sh¡theads to make themselves be the victim when their cruelty blows up on them. "It was just a prank!" they shout, as if the recipient is somehow wrong for being upset about it.
Load More Replies... Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Folks who do things like this sociopathic murderers in training. In fact, all pranksters are. Get an attorney, a protective order, contact police, and divorce.
Little Bit 7 months ago
NTA. Who in their right mind would do something like that to someone they supposedly love? He's an a****r. You need to leave him ASAP.
Enlee Jones 7 months ago
This man has more red flags than a communist parade. Abusers never apologize for their behavior, they blame the victim for calling them out on it.
Yu Pan 7 months ago
Someone tried to k**l OP and she wondered if she was AH. Where did her critical thinking skill go?
UpupaEpops 7 months ago
There's a good to fair chance this wasn't the first time he abused her, just a sudden enough escalation that it finally clicked that something is wrong.
Load More Replies...
geraldrboyle@aol.com 7 months ago
So called "Pranking" is a menace. Because of the permanent unsettling effect an habitual prankster has on those around him, their behaviour exerts a tyranny over others. The very term, "Prank", is almost affectionate. "Pranking" should be a defined legal term for an extremely antisocial and often degrading action. It is something that should be punishable by law, sentencing dependent on the nature of each instance, ranging from fines, to jail time and always damages awarded. The reasons that any individual would commit a prank are completely irrelevant. Whatever the reasons are, charity is not one of them. The husband who dangled his wife off a multistory carpark should be charged with attempted murder. Even if he pleaded guilty, he would still do jail time. Excellent ! The victim (OP) should have him charged, seek a restraining order, and go for divorce and damages.
sharyn turnicky 7 months ago
You're either married to a sadist or that was a trial run for dropping you the next time. Do you seriously plan to stay married to him?
Joe Reaves 7 months ago
The three percent of you who don't consider that dangerous and unacceptable are either in a*****e relationships or are abusers. If it's the former, please get help. Nothing about this was acceptable.
Deborah B 7 months ago
OP, this was not a prank or a joke. This was terrorising you with a death threat, assaulting you, and deliberately endangering your life. It is highly a*****e and sadistic behaviour. Then he pulled the classic DARVO - it was just a joke, you ruined the date. He's got you questioning if you were the a*****e for going home? You are the a*****e to yourself if you don't leave him. Get out, file a police complaint, and get a restraining order. This is not a red flag, this is a flashing, neon, red sign reading "your future m******r" with a big red arrow pointing straight at him. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.
Royal Stray 7 months ago
Even if it had been a prank that somehow magically didn't have any bad intentions at all he could have easily k*lled her. At this point he's either enjoying being cruel and hurting her, or he's such a moron that he's dangerous to be around. Either ways she should get a divorce. You're supposed to be able to trust your husband/wife, and this just shattered every trust she could have ever had
Robyn Hill 7 months ago
I hope she leaves, but I hope she leaves in a smart way - with a plan in place, the divorce papers already in hand, and someone there to help her move while he's gone, WITHOUT telling him what she's going to do. This guy is a sociopath. No telling what he'll do to her next. As someone said in the comments, this was a trial run.
Magenta Blu 7 months ago
And the op drives HIM HOME WITH HER!!! She should had run to the police station to file a murder attempt... But no.. she just takes the guy to her home and wonders what did she wrong... Some people really work hard to be willing victims of dangerous psychopaths
bElLa sTairZz 6 months ago
picking her up is concerning and too far, holding her over the edge is diabolical
weatherwitch 7 months ago
Should have gone to the police. When, not If but when he does this or similar Dangerous life threatening s**t to you or others it will also be on the record. He could so easily have dropped her, she could have struggled and slipped or even her clothing cause her to fall through being Held over a huge drop. Abuse straight up as is the gaslighting of whinging about not getting his dinner out or acknowledging that this was Highly dangerous and the actions of a massive Cünt. I get that she was so shocked she couldn't think straight. I do hope that she is well away from him now
Laura A Ivett 7 months ago
The fact that this person is still with that a*****e husband is just embarrassing. Who the hell does that
Kate Johnson 7 months ago
That would be the absolute end of the relationship for me. He's either too stupid or too dangerous to be with. No second chances on stuff like this, that reveals a sick character and a depraved mind.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
Hope OP checks to see how much life insurance twatwaffle has on her. May explain the "prank."
Theresa Marshall 7 months ago
If he had been mortified that the prank really scared his wife and apologised immediately and sincerely you could have forgiven him, however he tried to gaslight you and belittle your legitimate feelings about this prank, that is the bigger issue, go to couples counseling or consider a divorce otherwise it may happen again.
Sue Ellen Bowen 7 months ago
If that happened to me, my husband's ears would still be bleeding from the dressing down he'd get before packing his stuff. Luckily I'm not married to a immature idiot.
Mark Childers 7 months ago
I don't even want to think about what would have happened if he lost his grip. Putting another person's life in danger is always a bad idea. Plus, it's illegal.
Just Another Karen 7 months ago (edited)
this is definitely not a prank. you are NTA. but GET AWAY FROM HIM
Robin Roper 7 months ago
He ruined the date when he treated her in a dangerous and frightening manner. He is a massive AH and this would be the red flag indicating the relationship was over.
Royal Stray 7 months ago
From OP: We have been married for a couple years and we'd been dating for some time before that and I met him at church we got married after I got pregnant and we do have life insurance. And I was thinking I was going to die and my baby was going to not have a mother and I screamed out and I didn't think it was a prank in the moment and I was so scared and I was shocked for so long after too. He's scared me before by shocking me like when I walked through a door and he came out and yelled or when he sneaked up behind me and shook me once when he came home from work early and I was cooking or when he once pretended he fell off a ladder and I came running out after hearing a loud noise and him groaning but this time I literally thought I was going to die I cried when I got home I never cried from him shocking me before
Royal Stray 7 months ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1k9cl83/aita_for_going_home_after_my_husband_dangled_me/?rdt=42390 Here's the link to the story. Unfortunately OP's account is suspended/deleted
Angie Falzarano 4 months ago
HE THREATED YOUR LIFE. Get out and get out fast before he doe something worse. A normal person would never have done that. He is a pyscho. What would have happened had he lost his grip. Get away Get a restraining order. Change your phone number. Don't not give a forwarding address. He will do something that will injury or k**l you. This isn't a red flag this is the whole world went red. You are not safe!
Ginger Winters 5 months ago
A prank is putting salt in the sugar bowl. This was attempted unaliving and you need to leave, yesterday
Kayci Styles 7 months ago
I have a few things to add to those that my fellow Pandas have noted: 1. Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny? 2. (And more importantly) I find it interesting that she was automatically scared in this situation. If my husband pretended to do the same thing, I wouldn’t be scared because after almost 27 years my man has never hurt me. She believed that he was capable of killing her meaning he’s hurt her and made her fear him in the past. Run girl.
meeeeeeeeeeee 7 months ago
Did you read the situation? So you'd just be placid, perhaps bored, staring at that drop? It's possible you have zero survival instincts.
Load More Replies...
Grape Walls of Ire 7 months ago
Sorry, I couldn't finish reading it. The run-on sentences were too much to handle.
Rachel Smith 6 months ago
FFS. Learn how to write. Can't stand this sort of writing. No fullstops (or whatever you call them there). To the point, gtfo. That is not a joke. That's terrifying. STUPID LITTLE BOY BEHAVIOUR. LEAVE.
Btsquestrian 7 months ago
He was boundary-testing. This is common behavior with domestic violence offenders. The books 'Why Does He Do That,' and 'The Gift of Fear' discuss this kind of thing in detail.
Load More Replies...
Rick Murray 7 months ago
She lost her appetite? FFS, she was *that* close to losing her life. Leave, now. A guy punches his wife in the face, it's a*****t. A guy pretends to pitch his wife over the side of a car park, it's a prank? Bullsh¡t. Don't be alone with someone who thinks that sort of thing is funny, and I'd echo the calls to file a police report. Sorry, but there's no coming back from this. Leave.
Sue 7 months ago
He didn't think it was funny. He's a*****e, and it was a threat. Can't believe she didn't press charges.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 7 months ago
Wow what a joke. I think someone should do the same to the husband and see if he thinks it's funny too.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
The only way she’s an AH is to have gone home with him.
Load More Replies... BrownEyedPanda 7 months ago
Dangling her over a ledge while she's screaming her head off was OP'S husband's way of saying that he was in control and she was not. That he could end her life at a moment's notice, and she would be powerless to stop him. I hope she listens and heads for the hills. He was testing the waters, seeing what she would tolerate. She needs to get out--NOW., file a police report, and tell her family and friends. Leave that monster, file for divorce, block anyone who sides with him, but screenshot any and all texts and emails he sends her. This situation can escalate from a-b-u-s-e to m-u r-d-e-r in the blink of an eye.
FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
When he saw how scared she was, that he didn't immediately apologize and try to care for her/make it up to her as best he can, means get out. The weird threats and could your survive taunts means get out. This man is dangerous.
Sue 7 months ago
He's threatening her with what he can do, and meanwhile he is getting her used to being abused. It will go worse for her now, even if she divorces. She need to press charges & get a restraining order. I bet there are cameras somewhere around that caught it.
Load More Replies... Sergy Yeltsen 7 months ago
I do not understand why all of a sudden "pranking" is THE thing to be doing - whether to friends, relative or complete strangers. And it's no "Candid Camera" silly stuff. It's humiliating, destructive, cruel. And all for stupid things like internet likes or a viral post somewhere. Society has always been full of psychopaths and misfits, but there seem to be so many more of them and so little consequences for them,.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
It isn't the thing to be doing. It's just an excuse used by sh¡theads to make themselves be the victim when their cruelty blows up on them. "It was just a prank!" they shout, as if the recipient is somehow wrong for being upset about it.
Load More Replies... Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Folks who do things like this sociopathic murderers in training. In fact, all pranksters are. Get an attorney, a protective order, contact police, and divorce.
Little Bit 7 months ago
NTA. Who in their right mind would do something like that to someone they supposedly love? He's an a****r. You need to leave him ASAP.
Enlee Jones 7 months ago
This man has more red flags than a communist parade. Abusers never apologize for their behavior, they blame the victim for calling them out on it.
Yu Pan 7 months ago
Someone tried to k**l OP and she wondered if she was AH. Where did her critical thinking skill go?
UpupaEpops 7 months ago
There's a good to fair chance this wasn't the first time he abused her, just a sudden enough escalation that it finally clicked that something is wrong.
Load More Replies... geraldrboyle@aol.com 7 months ago
So called "Pranking" is a menace. Because of the permanent unsettling effect an habitual prankster has on those around him, their behaviour exerts a tyranny over others. The very term, "Prank", is almost affectionate. "Pranking" should be a defined legal term for an extremely antisocial and often degrading action. It is something that should be punishable by law, sentencing dependent on the nature of each instance, ranging from fines, to jail time and always damages awarded. The reasons that any individual would commit a prank are completely irrelevant. Whatever the reasons are, charity is not one of them. The husband who dangled his wife off a multistory carpark should be charged with attempted murder. Even if he pleaded guilty, he would still do jail time. Excellent ! The victim (OP) should have him charged, seek a restraining order, and go for divorce and damages.
sharyn turnicky 7 months ago
You're either married to a sadist or that was a trial run for dropping you the next time. Do you seriously plan to stay married to him?
Joe Reaves 7 months ago
The three percent of you who don't consider that dangerous and unacceptable are either in a*****e relationships or are abusers. If it's the former, please get help. Nothing about this was acceptable.
Deborah B 7 months ago
OP, this was not a prank or a joke. This was terrorising you with a death threat, assaulting you, and deliberately endangering your life. It is highly a*****e and sadistic behaviour. Then he pulled the classic DARVO - it was just a joke, you ruined the date. He's got you questioning if you were the a*****e for going home? You are the a*****e to yourself if you don't leave him. Get out, file a police complaint, and get a restraining order. This is not a red flag, this is a flashing, neon, red sign reading "your future m******r" with a big red arrow pointing straight at him. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.
Royal Stray 7 months ago
Even if it had been a prank that somehow magically didn't have any bad intentions at all he could have easily k*lled her. At this point he's either enjoying being cruel and hurting her, or he's such a moron that he's dangerous to be around. Either ways she should get a divorce. You're supposed to be able to trust your husband/wife, and this just shattered every trust she could have ever had
Robyn Hill 7 months ago
I hope she leaves, but I hope she leaves in a smart way - with a plan in place, the divorce papers already in hand, and someone there to help her move while he's gone, WITHOUT telling him what she's going to do. This guy is a sociopath. No telling what he'll do to her next. As someone said in the comments, this was a trial run.
Magenta Blu 7 months ago
And the op drives HIM HOME WITH HER!!! She should had run to the police station to file a murder attempt... But no.. she just takes the guy to her home and wonders what did she wrong... Some people really work hard to be willing victims of dangerous psychopaths
bElLa sTairZz 6 months ago
picking her up is concerning and too far, holding her over the edge is diabolical
weatherwitch 7 months ago
Should have gone to the police. When, not If but when he does this or similar Dangerous life threatening s**t to you or others it will also be on the record. He could so easily have dropped her, she could have struggled and slipped or even her clothing cause her to fall through being Held over a huge drop. Abuse straight up as is the gaslighting of whinging about not getting his dinner out or acknowledging that this was Highly dangerous and the actions of a massive Cünt. I get that she was so shocked she couldn't think straight. I do hope that she is well away from him now
Laura A Ivett 7 months ago
The fact that this person is still with that a*****e husband is just embarrassing. Who the hell does that
Kate Johnson 7 months ago
That would be the absolute end of the relationship for me. He's either too stupid or too dangerous to be with. No second chances on stuff like this, that reveals a sick character and a depraved mind.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
Hope OP checks to see how much life insurance twatwaffle has on her. May explain the "prank."
Theresa Marshall 7 months ago
If he had been mortified that the prank really scared his wife and apologised immediately and sincerely you could have forgiven him, however he tried to gaslight you and belittle your legitimate feelings about this prank, that is the bigger issue, go to couples counseling or consider a divorce otherwise it may happen again.
Sue Ellen Bowen 7 months ago
If that happened to me, my husband's ears would still be bleeding from the dressing down he'd get before packing his stuff. Luckily I'm not married to a immature idiot.
Mark Childers 7 months ago
I don't even want to think about what would have happened if he lost his grip. Putting another person's life in danger is always a bad idea. Plus, it's illegal.
Just Another Karen 7 months ago (edited)
this is definitely not a prank. you are NTA. but GET AWAY FROM HIM
Robin Roper 7 months ago
He ruined the date when he treated her in a dangerous and frightening manner. He is a massive AH and this would be the red flag indicating the relationship was over.
Royal Stray 7 months ago
From OP: We have been married for a couple years and we'd been dating for some time before that and I met him at church we got married after I got pregnant and we do have life insurance. And I was thinking I was going to die and my baby was going to not have a mother and I screamed out and I didn't think it was a prank in the moment and I was so scared and I was shocked for so long after too. He's scared me before by shocking me like when I walked through a door and he came out and yelled or when he sneaked up behind me and shook me once when he came home from work early and I was cooking or when he once pretended he fell off a ladder and I came running out after hearing a loud noise and him groaning but this time I literally thought I was going to die I cried when I got home I never cried from him shocking me before
Royal Stray 7 months ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1k9cl83/aita_for_going_home_after_my_husband_dangled_me/?rdt=42390 Here's the link to the story. Unfortunately OP's account is suspended/deleted
Angie Falzarano 4 months ago
HE THREATED YOUR LIFE. Get out and get out fast before he doe something worse. A normal person would never have done that. He is a pyscho. What would have happened had he lost his grip. Get away Get a restraining order. Change your phone number. Don't not give a forwarding address. He will do something that will injury or k**l you. This isn't a red flag this is the whole world went red. You are not safe!
Ginger Winters 5 months ago
A prank is putting salt in the sugar bowl. This was attempted unaliving and you need to leave, yesterday
Kayci Styles 7 months ago
I have a few things to add to those that my fellow Pandas have noted: 1. Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny? 2. (And more importantly) I find it interesting that she was automatically scared in this situation. If my husband pretended to do the same thing, I wouldn’t be scared because after almost 27 years my man has never hurt me. She believed that he was capable of killing her meaning he’s hurt her and made her fear him in the past. Run girl.
meeeeeeeeeeee 7 months ago
Did you read the situation? So you'd just be placid, perhaps bored, staring at that drop? It's possible you have zero survival instincts.
Load More Replies... Grape Walls of Ire 7 months ago
Sorry, I couldn't finish reading it. The run-on sentences were too much to handle.
Rachel Smith 6 months ago
FFS. Learn how to write. Can't stand this sort of writing. No fullstops (or whatever you call them there). To the point, gtfo. That is not a joke. That's terrifying. STUPID LITTLE BOY BEHAVIOUR. LEAVE.
Btsquestrian 7 months ago
He was boundary-testing. This is common behavior with domestic violence offenders. The books 'Why Does He Do That,' and 'The Gift of Fear' discuss this kind of thing in detail.
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