Man Demands Wife Stop Breastfeeding Their Baby In Front Of His Mates, Is Told To ‘Shut Up’
Depending on where you are, breastfeeding is a sensitive subject, but the one place a young mother should feel safe and comfortable is her own home. So being told to not do it even in one’s own house by their partner might be cause for concern.
A woman asked the internet for advice after she had an argument with her husband over breastfeeding in front of his friends. Readers debated his demands and gave OP some suggestions. Bored Panda reached out to OP via Reddit and will update the story when she gets back to us.
Some folks might be uncomfortable with seeing a woman breastfeed
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)
But regardless of opinions, she should be able to do it in her own home
Image credits: Yan Krukau / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Illustrator_4734
The husband seems very controlling
As extreme as it might sound, the husband’s behavior here veers into controlling territory very quickly. After all, the child needs to be fed and OP is literally in her own home. Where else would she breastfeed the baby? The husband’s concern, interestingly, doesn’t seem to be based on anything but some externalized insecurities.
Controlling behavior, after all, is a pretty big red flag, something that should be avoided. Unfortunately, manipulators are often good at hiding or masking this behavior until the other person has “locked into” the relationship.
After all, based on OP’s statements, the friends did not seem bothered and she didn’t feel uncomfortable. The only person who took offense was the husband. While we will never know exactly why, it’s not too hard to work out some possibilities. First and foremost, he might believe that his wife breastfeeding will somehow “tempt” his friends.
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)
There aren’t good explanations for why the wife breastfeeding would be an issue
This is a very weird thing to think about your wife who is currently feeding your baby, particularly if he is literally the only one with an issue. The fact that he would look at his breastfeeding wife and immediately sexualize her is very strange. Even worse, the idea that his friends would suddenly be attracted to her and this putting their relationship at risk has to come from a place of deep insecurity.
Having an attractive partner is, generally, seen as a good thing, but if a person is overcome with insecurity, they might spend a good part of the relationship worried that the person they married is about to replace them. This is ugly and pretty toxic, and we can see exactly how it plays out when the husband starts making unnecessary demands.
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)
Fortunately, netizens sided with OP
All in all, this does seem like an entirely pointless conflict, as breastfeeding in private should be entirely normalized. The husband, by acting controlling, is just revealing that he looks at this situation and immediately sexualizes it. Even if this is just how he feels, which is already something he should work through, there is no need for him to start controlling his wife’s body. After all, every relationship will have disagreements, but there are healthy ways to resolve them and there are deeply unhealthy ways to do it.
The fact that OP had to get a second opinion online is quite telling of just how persistent the husband’s attempts at control are. Unfortunately, through persistence, rhetorical tricks and plain old hostility, manipulators can and do batter people down until they think they are themselves to blame. This is not behavior anyone should put up with, but he has pressured her into thinking he might be right. Fortunately, netizens set the record straight and called out the husband’s behavior.
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many readers quickly sided with OP
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The main reason men are uncomfortable with breastfeeding is because they have been taught all their lives that breasts exist for their sexual gratification. Seeing them perform another function entirely is very dissonate and uncomfortable for them and, as a character in Superstore said, "a boner killer". If breastfeeding was commonly seen this wouldn't be an issue.
They are then faced with the choice of discussing it like an adult with their partner or realising it's their issue and working on it on their own so as not to add to post partum body insecurities.
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It is so funny reading the very obviously American replies, telling your partner to "f4ck off" is not rude at ALL if they're being a d1ck. Yours sincerely everyone in the UK, Australia, Ireland...
I'm American and I'm absolutely laughing my a$$ off at some of the puritanical replies at the bottom. If my husband ever did to me what this man did, you can bet the first words out of my mouth would be "f**k off". 🤣
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Your husband has the problem. My teenage sons coped with me breastfeeding their younger siblings, even when they had friends over. I used to host international students and had a lot of male Arabic Muslims stay. I did wonder how breastfeeding you go with the students, but they didn't care a bit. They all seemed to see it as normal, their mothers, aunt and sisters did the same. They were happy to look me in the eye and chat without any awkwardness.
Only small minds make it a problem I've found. Others just are ok a baby is eating and carry on about their day. They wouldn't have a problem and stare if the baby had a bottle so why bother if it's a boob.
Load More Replies... The main reason men are uncomfortable with breastfeeding is because they have been taught all their lives that breasts exist for their sexual gratification. Seeing them perform another function entirely is very dissonate and uncomfortable for them and, as a character in Superstore said, "a boner killer". If breastfeeding was commonly seen this wouldn't be an issue.
They are then faced with the choice of discussing it like an adult with their partner or realising it's their issue and working on it on their own so as not to add to post partum body insecurities.
Load More Replies... It is so funny reading the very obviously American replies, telling your partner to "f4ck off" is not rude at ALL if they're being a d1ck. Yours sincerely everyone in the UK, Australia, Ireland...
I'm American and I'm absolutely laughing my a$$ off at some of the puritanical replies at the bottom. If my husband ever did to me what this man did, you can bet the first words out of my mouth would be "f**k off". 🤣
Load More Replies... Your husband has the problem. My teenage sons coped with me breastfeeding their younger siblings, even when they had friends over. I used to host international students and had a lot of male Arabic Muslims stay. I did wonder how breastfeeding you go with the students, but they didn't care a bit. They all seemed to see it as normal, their mothers, aunt and sisters did the same. They were happy to look me in the eye and chat without any awkwardness.
Only small minds make it a problem I've found. Others just are ok a baby is eating and carry on about their day. They wouldn't have a problem and stare if the baby had a bottle so why bother if it's a boob.
Load More Replies...
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