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Two words are all it takes to completely change someone’s life on the day of their wedding. Most would assume those two words are “I do” — but not for this particular bride.
A woman who goes by the username @noiwontthanks on TikTok spoke about her experience on her big day, before the app was briefly banned in the US.
In a since-deleted post, she simply stated: “My husband ruined our wedding day.” While she didn’t initially plan on going into any more details, she made a follow-up video after several other women said they “realized the day they got married they had made a mistake.”
Highlights
- A woman's husband made a hurtful remark about her body just seconds after the two tied the knot.
- Despite the comment, they stayed together for a decade before ultimately divorcing.
- She described her years of marriage with him as filled with "psychological abuse" and "gaslighting."
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Two words were all it took to ruin this woman’s wedding day
Image credits: Jennifer Kalenberg/Unsplash (Not the actual photo)
According to the New York Post, the woman and her partner said their forever vows more than ten years ago after only dating for four months.
They went to a local courthouse, not wanting to gain the attention a big wedding would inevitably bring, and tied the knot.
For a little while, everything was “good” and the bride was “very happy.”
Until, of course, the groom opened his mouth.
Image credits: noiwontthanks
Only a mere minute had passed when the judge, who loved officiating weddings, said it would be great if he heard from them again in 10 years to get an update on what their relationship was looking like.
The content creator agreed and jokingly said, “Hopefully I fit in the same dress.”
“My husband of about 60 seconds did not miss a beat, and he said ‘or smaller,’” she revealed.
Her husband made a jab at her body, just seconds after being married
Image credits: MrsJellySantos
Her husband ruined their wedding day by saying something mean right after they got married. pic.twitter.com/tf4pxLrrLC
— Jelly Santos (@MrsJellySantos) November 27, 2024
She froze for a minute, thinking it may have been a harmless tease, but he didn’t appear to be laughing.
“I died inside and froze like a statue,” the woman said. “I just felt like I couldn’t even breathe.”
And it turns out, she wasn’t the only one shocked by her new husband’s comment.
“My heart just broke. I looked at the judge and he was floored. He said, ‘Son, you just got married’ and that’s when I was like, oh, I’m not crazy. My intuition is correct. I am not crazy. This is bad,” said the TikToker.
Initially, the content creator thought it was a joke
Image credits: noiwontthanks
@noiwontthanks#healingjourney#marriage#forthegirlies♬ original sound – noiwont
At the end of the day, however, the two stayed together for a total of a decade before getting divorced.
She stated that she had dealt with years of “psychological abuse,” “gaslighting,” and “love bombing,” believing that those two words on her wedding day were merely a warning of what was to come in her future.
“He hated my guts from the beginning,” the woman said. “I hope this helps [other people].”
Image credits: noiwontthanks
While her first post that went viral has now been deleted, she decided to share an update on why she removed it.
She described how her intuition thought the situation to be “icky,” feeling almost as if she’d given her ex-husband some power over her.
Comments were in support, regardless of the outcome.
She made her first viral video private, describing its publicity as “icky”
Image credits: noiwontthanks
@noiwontthanks#covertnarcissist#betrayaltrauma#divorce♬ original sound – noiwont
“WAIT! YOU GAVE YOURSELF POWER!!!” exclaimed one user. “It’s YOUR story — not his now! Remember that no matter what your decision is. ❤️”
“That video came across so self-empowered!!! Post your story and what you want! 💛,” another said in support.
A third praised her, writing, “It was incredibly personal, in your shoes I can completely understand the icky feeling. I do think it was important to share, and I’m glad you did. There’s so many women who experience that and stay.”
An additional user argued, “No. Please don’t give up. I was in a similar situation and the BEST part of social media is how it brought us girlies together. TikTok saved me. I needed to be educated. I didn’t know better either.”
TikTok users thought her story was empowering
Image credits: noiwontthanks
Canadian Women’s Foundation states that too often, people will assume a woman is staying in an abusive relationship because it is her choice and that she ultimately has the power to end the abuse by leaving.
But that is rarely the case.
A conducted study showed that 67% of us know a woman who has been abused, and there are a multitude of reasons why she wasn’t able to leave that toxic relationship.
According to the site, perhaps she fears for her life and the life of her children. Perhaps she has nowhere to go. Perhaps others believe her abuser is a “good guy” and she’s afraid she’ll face judgment and embarrassment otherwise.
Or perhaps she blames herself and believes she deserves to be abused.
Image credits: Gantas Vaičiulėnas
“Instead of asking why doesn’t she just leave, we should be asking different questions when we read those headlines,” wrote the outlet.
“It’s time to stop the victim-blaming.”
Others questioned her decision to marry someone she’d known for only four months
Image credits: LuckyOptimist
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What do you think ?
Nikole 10 months ago
The commenters basically saying, “Well yeah, I see nothing wrong with him mentioning it. Women always let themselves go after they get married”… I wish to do violence.
Broccoli 10 months ago
Nor does he/she/they understand what gaslighting is
Load More Replies...
Little Bit 10 months ago
When I was married to my first husband, every time I dared to disagree with him he would say something like, "I think we should split up", "we're not compatible", or "I want a divorce". Very long story short but after nearly ten years of violence and abuse I finally found the courage to leave. He was in tears, genuinely baffled as to why I was leaving him and I said, "I don't know why you're so bothered. You've said enough times that you don't think we should be together. You've got what you wished for."
Nikole 10 months ago
The commenters basically saying, “Well yeah, I see nothing wrong with him mentioning it. Women always let themselves go after they get married”… I wish to do violence.
Broccoli 10 months ago
Nor does he/she/they understand what gaslighting is
Load More Replies... Little Bit 10 months ago
When I was married to my first husband, every time I dared to disagree with him he would say something like, "I think we should split up", "we're not compatible", or "I want a divorce". Very long story short but after nearly ten years of violence and abuse I finally found the courage to leave. He was in tears, genuinely baffled as to why I was leaving him and I said, "I don't know why you're so bothered. You've said enough times that you don't think we should be together. You've got what you wished for."
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