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It’s normal for married couples to have the occasional big fights about major decisions. And if they have a healthy relationship, they will be able to resolve their issues through an honest and thorough conversation.
That wasn’t the case with this husband and wife. The woman expressed her desire to have cosmetic surgery, which her spouse wasn’t on board with. But instead of discussing things, the man went for another drastic option: divorce.
The woman, however, remains dead set on having the procedure done, even if it means putting her marriage in jeopardy.
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A woman’s desire to have cosmetic surgery has put her marriage in jeopardy
Man giving wife an ultimatum about plastic surgery, couple arguing intensely in a bright living room setting.
There is a thin line between being a caring and controlling partner
According to the wife, her husband’s reason for not allowing the surgery was that he thought she looked “perfect” already. However, their conversation eventually shifted to him threatening to leave her if she went through with the procedure.
Many people tend to blur the lines between their significant other showing care and actually controlling them. According to veteran clinical psychologist Dr. Leon Seltzer, controlling partners tend to fool themselves into believing that they care, but their actions show otherwise.
“In regularly correcting their partner or telling them what to do, they see themselves as ‘taking care’ of them,” Dr. Seltzer wrote. “But what they most often communicate to the recipient/victim of their supposedly benign intentions is control, control, control.”
Dr. Seltzer notes that manipulative behaviors are typically a product of a person’s insecurities and self-doubts. They feel the need to securely attach themselves to their partner out of fear that the other person may leave them.
“Too many of their behaviors toward their partner wind up being far less about bonding or caring than about binding,” he added.
In the story’s case, the woman is suddenly on the brink of having her marriage fall apart, all because of her desire to undergo cosmetic surgery. She has also begun to feel more insecure and devastated by how her husband can easily walk away from her.
In such instances, Dr. Seltzer encourages individuals to stand up for themselves. That includes refusing to agree to requests and demands that don’t feel right. At the end of the day, you know what is good for you.
Meanwhile, licensed marriage and family therapist Nicole Arzt, LMFT, says emotional manipulation can only spiral into other forms. According to her, controlling behavior is a good enough reason to leave the relationship.
While it may seem like the woman chose her surgery over keeping the marriage, having a spouse who coerces you into doing what he wants isn’t healthy either. Their marriage may have been doomed the moment he threatened divorce, and it could be for the best.
The woman provided a few more details
Text conversation about husband giving wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery and breast reduction concerns.
Reddit user discusses husband giving ultimatum over plastic surgery and body image concerns in a heated online thread.
Most commenters sided with her, as some shared similar experiences
Screenshot of an online discussion about a husband giving a wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery decisions.
Screenshot of an online forum conversation discussing a man giving his wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery.
Comments discussing a husband giving a wife an ultimatum related to plastic surgery and wellbeing concerns.
Comment criticizing a husband for giving an ultimatum over plastic surgery in a marriage discussion.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a husband’s ultimatum over plastic surgery and relationship sabotage concerns.
Text discussing husband giving ultimatum over plastic surgery and considerations of breast reduction benefits and relationship impact
Comment discussing a husband's ultimatum and a wife's right to make decisions about her plastic surgery.
Commenter shares experience with plastic surgery and reflects on husband’s ultimatum and its impact on their relationship.
Comment discussing a husband giving an ultimatum over plastic surgery and advice on recovery and support.
Text post about a man giving his wife an ultimatum over breast reduction surgery and its impact on their marriage.
Comment discussing a husband giving his wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery and relationship health concerns.
Comment suggesting to make him your ex husband and move on, discussing husband reduction and plastic surgery ultimatum.
Comment text expressing concern over a husband giving an ultimatum regarding plastic surgery and control.
Comment discussing breast reduction surgery and personal choice amid a husband's ultimatum over plastic surgery decisions.
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Comment discussing husband giving ultimatum over wife's breast reduction and plastic surgery concerns.
Comment text discussing a husband giving an ultimatum over plastic surgery and recommending a husband reduction.
Man gives wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery with a focus on husband reduction and relationship tension.
Screenshot of an online comment emphasizing personal body autonomy in a discussion about husband reduction and plastic surgery ultimatums.
Comment text in a forum discussing a husband giving an ultimatum over plastic surgery and husband reduction debate.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment warning about controlling behavior in a husband-wife conflict over plastic surgery choices.
Comment expressing strong support for a woman seeking breast reduction despite husband’s controlling ultimatum on plastic surgery.
Text post on social media reading consider a husband reduction in response to a plastic surgery ultimatum discussion.
Man and wife having heated argument at home, woman upset as husband gives ultimatum over plastic surgery decision.
Screenshot of online discussion about husband giving wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery and considering a husband reduction.
Commenters were unforgiving with their reactions, as most of them continued to criticize the husband
Comment text on a social media post discussing a husband’s ultimatum about plastic surgery and relationship issues.
Comment discussing a man giving his wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery and relationship freedom.
Comment discussing a husband giving a wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery and marriage choices.
Screenshot of a text comment discussing a husband giving an ultimatum over plastic surgery and a husband reduction.
Commenter shares personal experience with large breasts, discussing health concerns and support for breast reduction choices.
Comment on a forum urging separation amid a husband’s plastic surgery ultimatum in a tense marital dispute.
Commenter responding to a husband’s ultimatum about plastic surgery, discussing relationship and husband reduction.
Comment discussing husband giving wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery and relationship challenges.
Commenter CupSorry2582 discussing a story involving husband reduction and a plastic surgery ultimatum.
Comment text on a social media post discussing a husband giving wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery choices.
Comment on Reddit discussing husband's ultimatum to wife over plastic surgery and relationship compatibility issues.
Man gives wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery, discussing husband reduction and marital consent on cosmetic procedures.
Comment discussing a husband giving an ultimatum about plastic surgery, highlighting boundaries in relationships.
Comment discussing breast reduction and plastic surgery, addressing a husband's ultimatum in a relationship context.
Commenter discussing relationship challenges and perspectives on plastic surgery and partner changes with husband reduction context.
ALT text: Online discussion about man giving wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery in marriage debate.
Man giving wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery, discussing relationship and marital concerns in a serious setting.
Comment discussing a husband's emotional reaction and opinion on his wife's cosmetic surgery and depression.
Comment about husband reduction and plastic surgery, discussing respect and treatment related to cosmetic procedures.
Comment text discussing a husband giving a wife an ultimatum over plastic surgery and elective procedures.
Comment explaining a husband giving an ultimatum about plastic surgery and attraction, discussing relationship control and divorce.
Comment discussing a husband giving an ultimatum over plastic surgery and considering a husband reduction in marriage.
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All the usual YTAs. She isn't choosing divorce, he is. He's said he can't be with her physically if she has a breast reduction, so he's choosing his preference over hers which includes not having a complete marriage. Dump him and move on, there is nothing to feel bad about here.
Lmao, the guy is 40 but acting like a sulking teenager cause his wife chose to do a breast reduction. Like he had a right to decide how she can or cannot look, just loose the whole man baby.
Someone who has known since age 15 that she wants this should just get it done. My mother had beast reduction surgery in her 50s and was so grateful for how much better she felt, as well as it improved her acid reflux.
All the usual YTAs. She isn't choosing divorce, he is. He's said he can't be with her physically if she has a breast reduction, so he's choosing his preference over hers which includes not having a complete marriage. Dump him and move on, there is nothing to feel bad about here.
Lmao, the guy is 40 but acting like a sulking teenager cause his wife chose to do a breast reduction. Like he had a right to decide how she can or cannot look, just loose the whole man baby.
Someone who has known since age 15 that she wants this should just get it done. My mother had beast reduction surgery in her 50s and was so grateful for how much better she felt, as well as it improved her acid reflux.
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