Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Husband Asks Grieving Wife If He Can Impregnate His Friend, She Is Utterly Disgusted
Infertile wife looking upset and disgusted sitting back-to-back with husband in tense baby-making plan discussion.

Husband Asks Grieving Wife If He Can Impregnate His Friend, She Is Utterly Disgusted

14

ADVERTISEMENT

When something breaks, the first instinct is to find the glue. You search frantically for a way to piece things back together, to make it whole again. You’ll try anything, no matter how messy or ill-advised, just to stop the bleeding and fill the void that has been left behind.

But some solutions aren’t really solutions at all. For one woman, her husband’s proposed “fix” for their shared tragedy was a terrible culmination of ideas that would inflict a second, more personal wound. The plan was so bizarre and cruel that it threatened to destroy what little was left.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, but how you deal with it as a couple says a lot about the state of your relationship

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    A couple’s shared tragedy of a stillbirth left them grieving and their marriage in a very fragile state

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: user18526052 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The husband then proposed the bizarre and cruel solution that he would impregnate his coworker the natural way

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Evgenymedia / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    He called the plan “cost-efficient” and told his grieving wife that she “owed it to him” to agree

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    She discovered he’d already been having a deep emotional affair with this coworker for months

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Frolopiaton Palm / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    After a powerful confrontation, it dawned on him just how badly he had messed up

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    In a desperate bid to save his marriage, he quit his job and cut off all contact with the other woman

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The suffering wife investigated further, finding messages that confirmed the coworker was predatory and manipulative

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The other woman was making remarks to the husband that insinuated the stillbirth was actually her fault

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The woman told her husband that she needed some space to try to process the two massive traumas that had been inflicted on her

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: doctormcpuffy

    ADVERTISEMENT

    She later revealed that they were going to therapy and trying to work on their relationship, repairing the damage that had been done

    A woman who had just survived the double trauma of a stillbirth and her own resulting infertility was trying to heal. Her husband, who had initially pushed for the pregnancy she wasn’t ready for, seemed to be in a good place after therapy. But one night, he approached her with a “solution” to their problem, a plan so bizarre and cruel it would shatter their entire reality.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    He began by “forgiving” her for the loss of their son, a backhanded and deeply manipulative opening. He then revealed his master plan: a female coworker, with whom he had been sharing all their intimate marital and medical problems, had offered to be their surrogate. The catch? She would only do it if he impregnated her “the natural way,” and he was genuinely excited about this cost-efficient idea.

    When his wife, completely baffled, expressed her horror at this arrangement, he doubled down. He told her having a baby was “non-negotiable,” that it was “no big deal” for him to sleep with another woman, and that she “owed it to him” to agree. Instead of asking for her permission, he was informing her of his plan, a plan that felt more like a thinly veiled threat of an affair.

    When she confronted him, he admitted to the emotional affair. When she asked him how he would feel if the roles were reversed, he was a “deer in the headlights.” After reading through their messages, she saw the coworker was the one making the moves by constantly insulting her and trying to drive them apart. Her husband, in his grief, hadn’t stood up for her, but he hadn’t actively betrayed her either.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The story ends with a fragile and uncertain reconciliation. He quit his job, cut off the coworker, and has agreed to intensive counseling, leaving his wife to wonder if a marriage that was so easily broken can ever truly be put back together.

    Image credits: nomadsoul1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The couple’s marriage was already in an incredibly vulnerable state, and that’s putting it lightly. For Your Marriage reiterates that the trauma of a stillbirth puts a “significant strain” on a relationship and can dramatically increase the risk of a breakup. Instead of focusing on their shared grief and healing, the husband’s solution was to introduce yet another stressor into this crumbling dynamic.

    His proposal was also logistically and financially absurd. He presented “natural insemination” as a “cost-efficient” option, but this completely disregards the immense costs of the entire surrogacy journey. As detailed by GestLife, even with a free egg donor and surrogate, the legal fees, medical screenings, and parental orders can run into the tens of thousands of dollars, making his “free” solution a financial fantasy.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    The most damaging part of his plan was that it completely bulldozed his wife’s own trauma. Reproductive therapists acknowledge that the grief from infertility and infant loss is often an isolating experience. His demand that she “get on board” with his plan and his backhanded “forgiveness” for her stillbirth were emotionally cruel and completely invalidated her own grief journey.

    His actions were a selfish and desperate attempt to fill his own emotional void. His willingness to quit his job and enter therapy is a positive first step, but the road to reconciliation will be incredibly long. He betrayed his wife at her absolute lowest point, which is a wound that may never fully heal, regardless of his newfound remorse.

    How would you have handled this crazy situation? Share your thoughts in the comments!

    The internet is rallying behind the woman, eager to see a happy ending but also aware that there is a long road of recovery ahead of them

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Poll Question

    Total votes ·

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Total votes ·
    Share on Facebook
    Louise Pieterse

    Louise Pieterse

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

    Read less »
    Louise Pieterse

    Louise Pieterse

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

    Denis Krotovas

    Denis Krotovas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

    Read less »

    Denis Krotovas

    Denis Krotovas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

    What do you think ?
    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe the "forgiving her for losing their son" bit. What a complete p***k. I vividly remember my wife apologising to me while we were going through IVF because she thought she was "broken", and that she thought that way broke my heart more than anything else ever has. This dude's mentality is f****d. And OP decided to stay with him? To quote the great philosopher Blade, "Some muthafuckas are always trying to ice skate uphill."

    Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look, you're incompatible. You don't want kids now and you most likely never want kids. Your hubby wants them and now, so don't string him along. In addition to that major difference with no possible compromise, your hubby is a complete d****e and a walking RED FLAG. What does he have to do so that you actually leave him? Get you fired from your dream job? Múrder someone? Visit that island?

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Load More Comments
    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe the "forgiving her for losing their son" bit. What a complete p***k. I vividly remember my wife apologising to me while we were going through IVF because she thought she was "broken", and that she thought that way broke my heart more than anything else ever has. This dude's mentality is f****d. And OP decided to stay with him? To quote the great philosopher Blade, "Some muthafuckas are always trying to ice skate uphill."

    Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look, you're incompatible. You don't want kids now and you most likely never want kids. Your hubby wants them and now, so don't string him along. In addition to that major difference with no possible compromise, your hubby is a complete d****e and a walking RED FLAG. What does he have to do so that you actually leave him? Get you fired from your dream job? Múrder someone? Visit that island?

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Popular on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda
    ADVERTISEMENT