“Am I The [Jerk] For Not Allowing My Husband’s Friend To Bring Her Dog To Thanksgiving Dinner?”

It’s perfectly okay to love your fur baby, but some people can get a little obsessed, insisting that their pets go absolutely everywhere with them. This sort of fixation can lead to awkward moments when they find out their animals aren’t always welcome.

One person hosting Thanksgiving dinner found themselves in such a position after their husband’s friend had a meltdown because she couldn’t bring her dog along. Despite the fact that she was meant to bring the turkey, the friend backed out in a huff.

More info: Reddit

Some people can get a bit too obsessed with their pets, as this person found out the hard way

Thanksgiving dinner setup with pie and drinks; holiday celebration and gathering theme.

Image credits: Element5 Digital / Pexels (not the actual photo)

They were hosting Thanksgiving dinner, but had a “no pets” rule, mostly because their apartment is tiny

Text discussing Thanksgiving dinner plans and guest disagreements over bringing a dog.

Text on a white background explaining a no-pet rule at a Thanksgiving gathering, mentioning a woman who usually brings her dog.

Thanksgiving dinner table with turkey, sides, and wine.

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

When she asked her husband to let his friend know her dog wouldn’t be welcome, the friend had a complete meltdown

Text exchange about bringing a dog to a Thanksgiving party, causing upset over the phone.

Text conversation about bringing a dog to a Thanksgiving dinner.

Gray dog outdoors on grass, wearing a collar, with a blurred background.

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Furious, the friend let the host know that she wouldn’t be coming anymore, and that they could forget about having turkey, which she had volunteered to prepare

Text about a woman upset over Thanksgiving turkey after a friend denies her request to bring her dog to a party.

Image credits: WarningKey4701

The host feels like they were setting a reasonable boundary, but still turned to netizens to ask if they were the jerks in the unhappy situation

OP begins the story by telling the community that her husband asked if they could host Thanksgiving dinner this year, something they don’t usually do since their apartment is quite small. She goes on to say that most of the guests would be friends, one of whom, Chelsey, volunteered to prepare the turkey.

On Thanksgiving Day, one of the couple’s friends asked if they could bring their cat, but OP let them know that no pets would be allowed, since the space was quite small, and it was a dinner gathering. OP’s husband suggested they let Chelsey know too, since she usually insists on taking her dog everywhere with her.

When the husband texted Chelsey, though, she immediately called, upset that the couple had not let her know her dog wouldn’t be welcome when they invited her. OP explained to her that they assumed it was understood that bringing pets to a dinner without asking wasn’t normal, especially since they didn’t have pets of their own.

Well, Chelsey told them she guessed they’d be having Thanksgiving without turkey then. OP says they felt a little pressured but calmly let her know they were sorry she felt that way, to which Chelsey replied, “No, I feel sorry for you, since you won’t have a turkey,” and abruptly hung up.

Thanksgiving has a reputation for drama, what with the travel stress, family dynamics, mountains of food to prepare, and the lofty expectation that everything should be perfect. From what OP tells us in her post, Chelsey only contributed to the chaos. 

A woman in a white blouse, holding a retro green phone to her ear indoors.

Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)

In her article for The Week, Leslie Turnbull writes that, under the right circumstances, human-dog interaction can be hugely beneficial to both species. 

In fact, Alexandra Horowitz, a cognitive scientist and author of several books, including the New York Times bestsellers Inside of a Dog and Being a Dog, says, “Like humans, dogs are social animals, and need to be around other people or dogs — or both — depending on the dog.” 

Recent research backs up the psychological, physical, and emotional benefits many people experience by having a dog around. It could thus be reasonable to claim that the human-dog relationship is profoundly symbiotic and should be honored by taking your pooch with you everywhere you go, surely? Well, not quite. 

“Not everyone wants to meet a dog,” Horowitz says, “and people who bring their dogs out must be sensitive to that. If a stranger has no choice but to interact with your dog, that’s a poor choice of place to bring the dog.”  

That being said, it’s also worth considering that your furry friend might not always be comfortable in certain situations, particularly around strangers, new places, or even other dogs. 

Of course, service dogs and emotional support animals get a pass because their owners legitimately need them to get through the day. Unless Chelsey’s dog falls into one of those two categories, she’s probably in for more dog-blocking in the future.

What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think Chelsey overreacted? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

In the comments, readers concluded that the host was not the jerk in the unfortunate scenario and suggested that the friend was probably trying to use the turkey as a bribe

Two online comments discussing hosting etiquette and cooking plans for Thanksgiving, including turkey preparation.

Reddit discussion about a woman taking a Thanksgiving turkey after being told she can't bring her dog to the party.

Comments about not having a Thanksgiving turkey and opting for sliced turkey, leading to a fun party.

Comments discussing the actions of a woman taking a Thanksgiving turkey after being told she couldn’t bring her dog.

Reddit discussion about a woman taking a Thanksgiving turkey because her friends refused to let her bring her dog.

Thanksgiving party chat discussing turkey and absent friend over dog-related disagreement.

Screenshot of a Reddit thread discussing a Thanksgiving turkey and social media.

Reddit comment discussing frustrations about people bringing dogs to public places, focusing on pet dependence.

Reddit comments discussing pettiness at a Thanksgiving party involving a turkey snatcher.

Reddit comment discussing a friend's untrained emotional support dog causing issues at events.

Text discussing bringing dogs to events and common sense.

Comment thread humor about pets at events and bringing a chicken, sparking laughter in the discussion.

Reddit comment thread discussing bringing pets to dinner.

Reddit comments discussing a friend's request to bring a cat to a party.

Forum conversation about friendship issues surrounding Thanksgiving party.

Online comment discussing pets at Thanksgiving, questioning the need to bring a cat or dog to a holiday event.

Text exchange about dog owners' boundaries for Thanksgiving party.

Text screenshot about a Thanksgiving incident involving a turkey and a dog request.

Text commentary on no-pet rule before woman snatches Thanksgiving turkey over dog dispute.

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