Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
574
Man Wants To Charge Wife 30% Of Her Salary For Working At Home, Gets Slammed Online
“What’s mine is yours, babe!” Many relationships function with an understanding along those lines. My partner lets me borrow his earbuds, and I let him use my blender. We buy groceries together, so it doesn’t matter who picked out what at the store, all of the food in our apartment is fair game for both of us. We may purchase items individually, but we live together now, and we’re always respectful of all of our things. There’s no need to argue over who owns what.
But every couple does things their own way, and apparently, some do like to draw lines in the sand about what belongs to each person. Earlier this week, one woman reached out on Reddit asking if she was in the wrong for refusing to compensate her husband for “providing” her with a work-from-home office. The office is simply a room in their home that was previously not occupied, but this man has suddenly decided that it warrants paying rent.
Below, you can read the full story, as well as some of the replies from frustrated readers, and an interview with couples therapist Dr. Kathy McMahon. Let us know your thoughts on this story in the comments section, and then if you’re looking for another Bored Panda article featuring drama surrounding spouses’ finances, you can find that right here!
RELATED:
After her husband started demanding compensation for “letting” her use their home office, this woman reached out online for advice
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Emil536775
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Agreeing on how to balance finances in a marriage can be tricky. If one person earns much more than the other, they should not feel expected to give their partner unlimited access to their funds. Partners don’t necessarily even need to disclose exactly how much they make with one another. But once that money has already been spent on things that both parties benefit from, such as a home, appliances, and a Netflix subscription, it seems a bit unfair to be holding those things over the other person’s head. When you love someone, you want to share with them. Love usually makes people more generous, rather than stingy or greedy.
To get an expert opinion on this topic, we reached out to couples therapist Dr. Kathy McMahon to hear her thoughts. “A husband who ‘demands’ anything needs to reexamine his premises,” she told Bored Panda. “Intimate relationships work among equals, not people who boss one another around. They are different from roommates because they invest in each other, and married couples are rewarded for this effort.”
“Research studies demonstrate that in contrast to cohabitating couples, married couples have a greater net worth, even when accounting for age,” Dr. McMahon noted. “That’s because, like two Clydesdale horses pulling a beer wagon, when they work together, they can pull the heaviest load. When they pull in different directions, they get nowhere, or the wagon splits.”
Dr. McMahon added that some couples do agree to keep separate financial books, but that does not mean that one person is allowed to tell the other what to do. It’s crucial for them to negotiate in an equitable way. “While I am not an attorney, I would imagine that while the house is in his name, if they divorce, the value will be considered a marital asset to split evenly,” she told Bored Panda. “If the wife owns a business, there may be some tax implications to her using a home office, and she may want to deduct that portion. That’s another consideration. But they call people ‘equally yoked’, referring to ‘well married’ for a reason.”
Dr. McMahon also shared that Dr. John Gottman found in a study that 65% of American men had trouble accepting influence from their wives. “Husbands that do, however, make out better in the long run,” she added. “Men are socialized to pursue influence, respect, and power. They like having it. They like getting it. They are culturally rewarded for achievement, often accumulating influence, respect, and authority in the process. But power without respect is a hollow victory.”
“Gottman says that when a husband is not willing to share power with his spouse, there is more than a 4 out of 5 chance that his marriage will implode eventually,” Dr. McMahon explained. “You have to both decide what kind of partner you want to have, and what kind of partner you want to be.”
“Gottman recommends flexibility around accepting influence. He urges couples to cultivate an appreciation for how you can ‘yield to win’,” Dr. McMahon told Bored Panda. “By yielding to win, he is describing a negotiated relational space that makes room for influence. Gottman tells men that if you want to have influence… accept influence. It is, by far, the most effective way to engage with your partner.”
And when it comes to whether or not our families should be dragged into issues with our spouses, Dr. McMahon says, “Each person’s family gets to express their preferences, but if these preferences offend your spouse, it’s time to tell your family that this topic of ‘off limits’. When everyone handles their own family, and protects their spouse from inappropriate comments, everyone is happier.”
“Discuss, negotiate, explore differences. These are the factors that make a marriage successful.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic below, pandas. I hope you’ve never found yourself in a similar situation, but if you have, feel free to share any words of wisdom you may have. If you’re looking to learn more about how to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner, you can book a session with Dr. Kathy McMahon through Couples Therapy Inc. right here, and if you’re interested in reading another article from Bored Panda discussing similar themes, we recommend checking out this story next.
Readers have assured the woman that she is right to stand her ground, with many calling out the husband for his ridiculous demands
What do you think ?
Me. Just Me. 3 years ago
I think this is just a mistaken case of auto-correct. Somehow the device auto-corrected "roommate" to "husband".
Tanya Venter 3 years ago
Wow! This is terrible. My husband wants me to be successful and wants the best for me. I have a triving hairsalon and had a beautiful salon at home for 7 years.(we have since sold our house) My Business paid for water and electricity, that made sense as I used more than what our household did.
RafCo (he/him) 3 years ago
I'm not married to you, but I want you to be successful too. We as people should always be about lifting each other up. Regardless of our personal relationships to each other. The person that the OP is describing is an awful human being. That fact that he is making a demand of tithing of his wife certainly makes it worse.
Load More Replies...
LittleMissPanda 3 years ago
Charge him for third of his salary for the chores, then. Let's see how he likes that
EM Johnson 3 years ago
She could charge him, but his request would still leave a sour taste. She should pack it up and move on. Thank that red flag on her way out the door.
Load More Replies...
James016 3 years ago
So essentially he wants you to pay him 30% for using the empty room in the house? What a d1ck.
Bubs623 3 years ago
Is it a new thing for each partner in a marriage to 'pay their share' of the bills? When I got married, we had one joint account. Well, two: savings and checking. Any money we earned or received went into the account. All of it was 'ours'. Any major purchase was discussed beforehand. I was a SAHM for many years to raise our kids but I never felt like I couldn't spend money or buy things for myself or the kids. We had a budget together. There wasn't any 'my money' and 'your money'. My grown kids also have this arrangement with their SO's. Is that not common now?
Damitria 3 years ago
Some couples do prefer separate bank accounts. To each his own. But this guy is wanting her to pay 30% as well as half the bills (which she already pays) and her do all of the household chores.
Load More Replies...
Mimi Johnston 3 years ago
I fully agree. You work and pay half the bills, yet you also do 100% of the chores? Girl, you are worth so much more. Better to be alone than with someone who takes advantage of you. As someone who has been there, I know it only gets worse until you set yourself free. Be courageous--you deserve someone to treat you with respect, even if it's yourself alone for a while.
Beck 3 years ago
This is insane. You are married it is now half yours. If he wants to act like that, charge him $20 for cleaning kitcken, $100 for bathroom and $5000 for bedroom duties since this is a transaction for him.
Beck 3 years ago (edited)
I am sorry. I have to get off BP for a minute. That guy made me so mad.
Load More Replies...
Dash Junior 3 years ago
Seriously? It does not matter that the man owned the house before they couple got married. It is now home to a married couple. Something to be shared equally. Okay. He can keep the house when she divorces him.
madbakes 3 years ago
Well, maybe, depending on the state. She may be able to take half the house.
Load More Replies...
Victoria Pitt 3 years ago
This just makes me sad. Reminds me of my ex-fiance. I remember so clearly how he was infuriated I wasn't using my $800 tax return to put towards the wedding, when I had suggested I use it to pay off debt. Mind you, he didn't ask politely if I would contribute that money, he just flew off the handle and was a complete a*****e to me. Come to find out later on, his grandfather had been writing him $5000 checks for the wedding, and he had ALOT of money in the bank (He was stealing 15-30k from the bike shop he managed every year and splitting it with the owner). Yea, definitely made the right decision breaking that off. My current partner would never dream of talking to me like that.
The Starsong Princess 3 years ago
The person who said that this is predatory financial abuse is absolutely right. If she is paying this fee plus bills and his no doubt other fees, she will not be able to have or save any money so she will be dependent and that’s the point. I knew a girl once who worked from home. However, her boyfriend put a padlock on the thermostat because it was he owned the apartment so it was only heated when he was home. In Scotland. The temperature went down to about 7 degrees C in there. I told her this was abuse but she went on like that because he made sure she didn’t have any money if her own. These guys do not get less awful.
Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
Wow - that was definite abuse. I hope she eventually listened to someone, maybe sought advice at a woman’s shelter, and got out of there.
Load More Replies... Jennifer Beedie 3 years ago
I can't believe she even has to ask if she's the A. The only word she needs to focus on is divorce.
Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
There’s probably other browbeating/gaslighting going on and she is starting to doubt herself.
Load More Replies... Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
What kind of crazy marriage is this relationship? Like other people have said, she needs to stop doing his share of the household chores. He probably thinks that because she doesn’t have to commute and she’s a woman, she should naturally do everything. She also needs to start looking for her own place and a divorce lawyer. There’s no sense of a loving partnership in his heart.
Ian Reynolds 3 years ago
I have never understood married couples who live like this, as soon as a moved in with my wife (girlfriend at the time), we opened up a joint account and put everything through that, at the time she was earning more than me, now I am earning more, but this has never affected us. It's not my or her money, every penny we earn is our money, makes life so much easier.
Magpie 3 years ago
I wouldn't be surprised if he has been cheating, but her working from home has disrupted that. Who wouldn't embrace this? WFH saves people money on fuel or fare, & lunches out. Only people with something to hide would say something so drastic to get the other person back to the office.
Load More Replies...
Michael Largey 3 years ago (edited)
Sharing is a good thing. The divorce court will teach a very special way of doing it. And does the husband intend to report that 30% as rental income on his taxes?
Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
Divorce him. 50% of that house isn't "his". You're supposed to be his partner, not a tenant he gets to bang. Just leave. What on Earth happened during your life that made you think this is not just ok but normal at all? Sometimes I read these and I genuinely hope they're fake, and this is one.
F C 3 years ago
Because people often hide this part of themselves before they marry, or they take more and more every year and the other person starts making more and more concessions
Load More Replies...
Dina Anastasakos 3 years ago
Bad enough if he asked for rent for the room...but 30% of her salary?? Does he do 30% of her work?! Just wow. What surprises me is that this woman stays with him.
Suzie 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds like he can call it his house but if you comingle finances and pay for anything regarding mortgage, repairs, or renovations then it is no longer "his" house. Depending on your state laws anyway. I'd get a quote for a housekeeping service and start charging him that same amount for all the home chores you do.
Web Surfer 3 years ago
You know, these posts are absolutely pointless, BP. Unless there is an update about what happened, this kind of post only serves to contribute to the internet’s overall display of bad people, bad situations and creates anger.
Lacia Lew 3 years ago
I must be the luckiest girl in the world. My fiance might be a dork and hopeless kamen rider fan who'd shout "henshin!" in weekly basis, but he will never dream of asking me for salary from helping out in the cafe, even when he's got his own WFH to think of. Sometimes I even need to remove him from the cafe, if not he'd still be there washing dishes when I'm still very much capable of doing it and he's got deadline for his own job.
Agent Tuna Ghost 3 years ago
Your husband actually sounds really adorable :) I'm happy you found yourself such a sweet guy.
Load More Replies...
Bina Wei 3 years ago
I'm worried for OP, her homelife doesn't seem stable. Honestly normally i would be careful recommending this as I am just a stranger but i think she should move her office out of home. Maybe herself too. Perhaps a hotel room? As her family doesn't appear trustworthy. And then the couple could work on their marriage whilst both sides have stability
EM Johnson 3 years ago
I would find a decent place and not even tell him. He will notice when no one's picking up behind him and the spare room is empty. Let his mommy come over to clean. This is a red flag that can't be ignored.
Howard___fan 3 years ago
First of all youre married so his house is half your house. Second of all, leave him. Life is too short. You know its nonsense and you can’t live your life like that forever.
Mama Suku 3 years ago
That is very weird. That's not love on his behalf. My partner of 10 years, we have 4 children together. And he now makes more money than I do, HE PAYS BILLS, PROVIDES OUR FOOD, ANY NECESSITY NEEDED FOR US OR THE KIDS, and he tells me to keep my check and buy anything I need or want for myself or for the kids. That's love. When he needs any extra help from me towards bills or anything he communicates that clearly but it's rare. He's a true provider from the heart. 💛 Good luck Dear, you deserve better.
Touhou Neko 3 years ago
This is really bad, it usually is either they share everything or both are on their own money wise but to expect a percentage of the work money from your partner (if they both have a job and work) is garbage be that a man or a woman...
Julie Schueler 3 years ago
This is the beginning stage of an abusive and toxic relationship. Get out now, before it gets worse. And depending on where you live, there may be a chance that you have some ownership of the house if your state is a community property state. That is something only your lawyer can advise on. If friends, family or anyone else tells you that the house is his because he owned it prior to the marriage, that isn't necessarily true. Any decent attorney can give you advice on the splitting of marital property.
Sparkle 3 years ago
OP's husband seems insecure....by taking her money, he's effectively making it so she can never leave him. So, to that I say, RUN! I wonder how his mom would feel if his dad charged her rent in their house? (Since she thinks it's totally acceptable for him to do that). "It's *MY* house!" "Fine. Bye!"
James Thomas 3 years ago
Well, she definitely married a winner. I would say she should charge him for "love", but her time and money would be best served hiring a good divorce attorney.
Holly Benedict 3 years ago
Really hope this is some fake nonsense, but I know those kinds of nut bars exist. If it came out as "hey, I'm glad your happy with your new job, but now that you're home all day for work, we are using more electricity than usual, we both pay half the bill but would you consider paying a little more than half each month to make up the difference?" That would have been the only acceptable way to approach the situation.
Bruce Nielsen 3 years ago
Run, run Forrest as fast as you can. Get away from this awful creature. You are stronger than you know, but maybe a bit colorblind missing all those red flags
Sora 3 years ago
My question is how are these kinds of people finding each other, going on a first date, then a second date and so on; then spend weeks, months, and years in each other's company; then get engaged and then get married; then decide to live together and perhaps have a family and then finally find out well gosh maybe this person I got involved with is a total jack-a*s whom I should have never have met in the first place? I mean did they not see the warning flags!?
Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
Sometimes you ignore them because you are blinded, you have low self-esteem, and society tells you you shouldn’t be alone.
Load More Replies... 
Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
Yep. There’s no going back from that craziness.
Load More Replies...
Mary Muir 2 years ago
Okay, here's the problem as I see it. Husband owns the house, there's no mortgage, wife is working, she pays half the share bills and does the chores. That's the deal they have made somehow. If either wants to change the deal, then they have to sit down and negotiate. Wife is using empty room for WFH. Husband feels he should get compensated for wife taking that room despite husband not using it prior to this. Well, that's fair, so what would the rent be for just one room? $50/month?? $100? Well it certainly wouldn't be 30% of wife's wages!!! Husband is making a huge money grab here, and he should be ashamed of his greedy self. Wife should stop WFH and go to the office (or even rent a small office in a shared suite). Bet husband would change his mind very quickly when the chores don't get done because wife is out working in her separate office! And if he wants to treat wife like a tenant or boarder, then maybe wife needs a separate bed to sleep in. ;-)
Stephanie 2 years ago
I bet if she tried to set up shop with her laptop in the kitchen, or bedroom, or living room, he'd still try to charge her for office space. my man, it's ONE DESK. it's no more electricity used than you likely use with your video games or power tools all weekend long. I hope anyone who thinks this is acceptable stays single forever
Stargazer66 2 years ago
File for divorce and end this now. It's never going to get better. Do not have children with this man either.
Rosalie Dann 3 years ago
The most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Hard to believe it's real, it's so daft.
robin aldrich 3 years ago
There's been quite a few of these weird cases where the husband or significant other is just outrageous and dickish... Is this what's becoming of men? I mean women have been the subject of similar stories, too but a lot of these stories seem to be about men being terrible to their women...
T M 3 years ago
I'm wondering what his goal and motives are here. Is he saying that to force you to go back to the office? Why? Does he have other plans for the room? What is he going to do with the money you give him? Do you make more than him? Is he jealous or concerned you get to stay home? Something isn't right about the way he's treating you. Get some counseling cause this guy doesn't seem to understand what a partnership is. Also protect yourself financially. This sounds like the kind of guy that will try to leave you with nothing if it all falls down.
Ladytron 3 years ago
Wow. It must be so stressful to live at a place thats not your home in any way (he made that very clear). And they split bills 50/50 AND she does all chores? Why would he be entitled to an additional 30% of her income? He just want her to stay in her place as his property. Thats not a partnership or a marriage.
Maggie Hood 3 years ago
If your husband charges you for living in your shared house, that's not your husband. Nobody in their right mind would make their spouse do this, especially when they do the chores and pay their part of the bills.
Ad Libitum 3 years ago
This is super bad news! She should divorce him asap because other issues will also arrise being by the side of such a toxic and malicious person. He doesn't love his wife, not even his wife! She should run now while she still can and there are no babies involved
Nelly Lukina 3 years ago
Please please do not bring children together! You will be miserable !
Wandaria Newton 3 years ago
I have this awful feeling this is not going to end well.......for you. You said he brought the house before you got married and admittedly its his house. If the s**t hits the fan and I think it will........ I would get out of it. Let him have his house and go and buy your own. I would like to say, I hope all goes well for you both but im sorry can't see mending.anytine soon.
Melissa aldridge 3 years ago
You sorry rat bastard you should be shot for even thinking it girl leave him and knock his a*s out cold better yet where you at I wanna come over and help you out
Agent Tuna Ghost 3 years ago
She'd better hope she doesn't get pregnant, because as soon as that baby's out hubby will probably start demanding it pay a crib rental fee. Come to think of it, since MIL is on his side OP might want to ask her if her son paid for his room while he was growing up, or if she'd be cool with *her* husband charging her to share their bedroom. I also assume that OP didn't just take on a new job so she could go out and buy new dresses; as she said, she uses the money to help pay the bills, and likely to buy food and take care of the household expenses, as well. And she probably wouldn't give it a second thought if hubby just *asked* her for some extra money here and there instead of acting like she was his tenant. Ffs, the need some people feel nowadays to make *every* little family/friend interaction transactional right down to the penny, people you love and who are supposed to love and cherish you back, is absolutely insane to me.
Tanya Stevens 3 years ago
Wow this is a husband not a roommates? I wouldn’t give him a dime but I’d give him an empty bed and why is it always the mother supporting their sons bull snap.
Becky Boat 3 years ago
NTA. However if you divorced him you would not get half of the equity of the house because he bought it before he married you. You would get half of the equity it acquired during your marriage. It is bad enough that he expects you to pay him for using space while you work from home but for me it would have been a deal breaker when he ran to tell on you to his mother. What a tool. Too bad you didn't know him better when you married him. Move out and start divorce precedings.
Helen Taylor 3 years ago
I hate to use the big “D“ word, but this man doesn’t sound like he understands that he is married. You are sharing expenses 50-50, doing the housework, and now he wants to charge rent because a room in the house makes a home office for ? Perhaps counseling can help, but with this expectation and going to his family, I’m not sure that it can.
Mari Mar Pinta 3 years ago
What a piece of garbage.... unbelievable... He has no respect for her and doesn't value her at all. That's his Wife... not some random tenant or business deal. If I was married and my husband treated me like that and he has his mom involved too, I'd leave him. There's no love there and I'm beginning to think there never was....
Queen Boadicea 3 years ago
Lmao... going to be a bit of shock if they divorce, a house becomes marital property after a marriage and cohabitation. Doesn't matter who bought it or when.
Kevin Felton 3 years ago
Dude, get out! Seriously run now. An honest guy knows that in a marriage a raising tide lifts all ships. If he's trying to take money from you then he's doing it to control you. The less money you have access to, the more dependent you are on him. Which means the less likely you are to leave him. If he takes that money, then he's guaranteed to hide it somewhere.
Patricia Crawford-Falconer 3 years ago
Op should invoice all the chores she does that he benefits from (laundry, cleaning, cooking, paying of bills), then go stay with a family member that she trust has her back. Don't go back til he says she abandoned him, then say no I left because you weren't paying my wages you owe you personal cook, Housekeeper, and laundry service. If he has a brain he'll realize his mistake and apologize. I know this works, I did it to my current husband.
Loreitta M Tuthill 3 years ago
Leave and don't look back. See an attorney pronto, see what your rights are. Remain childless, less complicated.
Crystal Ruiz 3 years ago
Lol, Easy, charge for 50% a cleaning fee, i mean, it's "his property". charge for food prep services, minus ingredients if he pays for them. If you pay the bills, charge for facilitating that service, get petty. And also change back pay, you've been doing it for a while. And in any case, why is he charging 30% of your pay check no rent, anywhere, works like that. Look up what rent of a similar house looks like at your area, divided it the square footage of the house and he can only get paid for that. I'm guessing it's a lot less than what he's gonna owe you.
Holly Denman 3 years ago
And can't he write off what you use for work on his taxes? He already got his benefit and a whole lot more. Remember you can only be taken advantage of if you let yourself.
kelly boykin 3 years ago
Someone asked 'Is he charging you to use the kitchen? The bathroom? Why yes, yes he is. You are an indentured servant. You do all the chores. And he holds control over you by claiming ownership of the home you live in. This is your security. What this also is is psychological abuse. I'm so sorry this is the relationship. I imagine you reaching out online for advice is because part of you has always known this situation wasn't healthy and this last event has pushed you over the 50/50 mark. No overreaction here: this is unhealthy. He is controlling. His control is abuse. Doing all the housework as 'payment' for living in 'his home' is psychological abuse. I have an ex for the same reason. A couple years out and I can see it quite clearly now. We were never going to be equal and I was never going to be treated as if I was 'in control' even when it was my car we were in or my money we spent or my house were spent the night at. That is not love. That is you serving a purpose to fulfill his des
Shawnna Clement 3 years ago
I never understood keeping personal bank accounts rather than pooling money into one, let alone not sharing physical assets. I call my vehicle mine and my husband's his, but the ironic thing is he holds my title and I hold his. I'm the one with the home mortgage and had to have the paperwork redone to add him to the deed. I didn't have to, but that's part of building a life together. What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine.
Shayla Katherina 3 years ago
What the actual f**k? Why is OP married to this person? It's not "my house" when you marry someone and they live in and help you take care of the house. Secondly, requiring your spouse to pay rent because of the type of job they have? That makes no sense apart from OP's husband is going on a power trip. I think people tend to throw around the divorce card too liberally on reddit, but in this case I'd seriously consider it. OP is seen as a roommate instead of a spouse.
Angel Mist 3 years ago
Poor woman. I was involved in a marriage like that once. It didn't end well.
Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
Last time I checked, getting married meant sharing things. None of this "my house" bull c**p
Lydia Green 3 years ago
Wow, he is doing way to much. I would never say divorce or leave that’s not right but I would say give him his funky 30 percent, but don’t buy groceries or tell him those are YOUR groceries he can’t have any don’t touch or charge hi in or you can give him the silent treatment just be humble don’t say a word or find a small coffee shop that you can sit at all day and do your work and don’t tell him. At least a coffee shop all you have to do is probably get something to drink.
Sami-Jo Ross 3 years ago
And this is her HUSBAND?! This is so not how marriage works, you don't charge your spouse for using a room as an office so she can pay her half of the bills. I hope OP divorces him and brings that up in the process, because this guy has issues.
JJ Mai 3 years ago
Sounds like my ex. He would always bring his mom into our fights. He would even have her on the phone when we were having our fights, claiming she was being a 'mediator'. This man was twenty-five and always cried to his mommy. He ended up knocking up a nineteen-year-old girl just five months after we broke up. They and the baby live with his mom now. Our two bedroom apartment was almost as large as her house. Karma will get your husband.
F C 3 years ago
Lol my mother is the same. Don't speak to either of my parents now
Load More Replies...
Tracy Rieon Hall 3 years ago (edited)
Alright here goes cut your losses divorce him since he keeps rubbing your face in the fact that it's his property. You help pet the bills, do chores,cook, clean etc but yet he still wants to charge you 30% of whatever you make wow. Go buy or rent your own place, move out and get your own space. Life is entirely too short for this type of manipulation he honestly doesn't love you because if he did he would try to help you grow and prosper as well as support you not keep you down. Cut your losses and block all contact with him and his family this is a major red flag
Rahul Pawa 3 years ago
I wonder if he straight up asked for a cut of her salary, or a specific dollar amount and she did the math. A rent payment would never be based on the tenant's salary. That's ludacris even if they weren't married.
Belle Miles 3 years ago
This is not a wife. She is an optional maid with benefits and will be thrown out when he's done with her.
Karri Stapp 3 years ago
I agree with other posters on here. Figure out how much he would pay someone else to cook his meals, do his laundry, clean "his" house and tell him he's expected to pay you for all you do for him. Tell him you'll subtract it from the 30% he wants from you. He may end up owing you money!
Janet Howe 3 years ago
Another spreadsheet marriage. Is this post a fake? This one really angered me. Ok, lots of these posts do. Are you BF/GF or married? I got confused about that somewhere in the middle. BUT do not pay another dime for anything. If you're married, your name should be on that deed. Sounds like he's holding that over your head also. Seriously, find a lawyer and find out what your rights are. At this point, if anything happened to him, depending on your state, you might not be able to stay in that house. A house with 2 f-ing rooms and he wants rent for 1 of them?? I can say from personal experience that this might not end well. This man is selfish and controlling. Seriously, you need to consult a lawyer to find out what your rights are. You might try couples counseling, if he'll go. But that's me, you have to figure out what's right for YOU.
Lovingmyself 3 years ago
WTF is going on! I have heard it all. First, so what he had the property before you. I had a townhouse and house before marrying my husband of 15 years. I sold the townhouse and after we married I added my husband to the loan and deed. You know why? Because it was the adult thing to do when GOD sends anyone a great spouse. Plus I could imagine how it would feel if the roles were reverse. After a year of marriage we bought a 6 thousand square foot house and rented out our old house that was bought before him. That man doesn't love you. No one with a heart would dare say those words to a spouse. YNTAH, however, is he having trouble paying the taxes on the house since it's paid for? Why is he stressing about money? There's something he isn't telling you. As much as I would love to say hang in there. Ms. Lady you need to RUN AND DON'T WALK. RUN. Before you do ask yourself this question? Why do you feel it's no big deal that he doesn't want to make you complete as husband and wife?
Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
I doubt the land taxes would be very much for such a small house, but yes, something else is going on, like he’s got a bit on the side.
Load More Replies...
SirWriteALot 3 years ago
I think there is more to this story. They are married but split bills. Which means there is a financial side to all this. Needs to be talked about and not aired on BP without all the info. I'm getting weird vibes but some couples have a weird setup.
Praecordia 3 years ago
Wow. Your husband sounds insane. Guess he doesn’t understand how a marriage works. I’d start charging him for every chore done and start billing him at the end of the month. 😂 He is too ridiculous!
Caroline Sinclair 3 years ago
Other than bathroom and kitchen, but OP may mean two bedrooms.
Load More Replies...
Tba 1 3 years ago
Yet women don't say a word when she expects him to pay, pay, pay for everything in her life. he should charge her more.
Birgitte Andersen 2 years ago
Wtf are you talking about. He doesn't pay for anything in her life. They share all expenses equally plus she is the one doing all the housekeeping.
Load More Replies...
Randy O 3 years ago
“Men are socialized to pursue influence, respect, and power. They like having it. They like getting it. They are culturally rewarded for achievement, often accumulating influence, respect, and authority in the process. But power without respect is a hollow victory.” Oh please, this is men and women. This statement oozes with blatant sexism. Sounds like Dr. McMahon and Dr. Gottman have never had a corporate job.
Cindy Hurd 3 years ago
No way! Time to evict yourself and serve HIM with 100 percent divorce papers and get with someone who values YOU..not your PAYCHECK!
Memoryerror 3 years ago
I have a genuine question. If this was a friend that was letting her live in their house for free and she took an "unused" room as an office for WFH, would the friend still be an a*****e for asking for compensation for use of the room?
Agent Tuna Ghost 3 years ago
A little bit, yes, since the logic is pretty inconsistent. You didn't charge them to live in the rest of the house up to that point, right? So why would you draw the line at a room that no one's even using? Why not just ask them to split the bills/rent at that point (assuming they weren't making any money before--since why else would they be staying at their friend's place for free--and are now able to contribute)? I don't think that would be an unreasonable request. However, a down-on-their-luck friend is a lot different from a person's significant other, and you wouldn't treat the two living situations the same.
Load More Replies...
zena bena 3 years ago
Honestly why do people post things like this and ask"am i in the wrong?" Ffs wake up and smell the coffee.Your marriage is in big trouble if your husband is doing stuff like this.You are his roommate till he comes home 9ne day soon and tells you he found someone else and wants you outta his house.Hope you put that extra 33% into anest egg for yourself for that time.Clock is ticking down.
BeepBeepBoopBoop 3 years ago
sometimes people are oblivious to if what he's doing is bad or not
Load More Replies...
Mark Mazzeo 3 years ago
What I want to know is the other side of the story everyone here is attacking her husband when you don’t know the full story. Maybe he’s been paying 100% of the bills and never asked her for a dime in the past. You cannot base this off one side of the story know the whole story before you start judging people.
Agent Tuna Ghost 3 years ago
Says right there that OP splits half of the household expenses with him AND does all the housework, but just ignore that part, I guess.
Load More Replies...
John Dough 3 years ago
Whenever you want to get off that cross you nailed yourself to and stop being a victim feel free.
Load More Replies...
John Dough 3 years ago
What do you people expect to gain with this nonsense? Every story one of you rolls in calling it fake. Which drives up engagement and creates more of this content. Why do you keep clicking on these articles? Do you have nothing better to do??
Load More Replies... Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
Well, because they are now in a marriage - a supposed lifetime partnership, where two people share their resources to build a hopefully happy life together. What would happen if heaven forbid she had a child? Would he insist she do all the childcare since the baby came from her womb and would she have to fight him for financial support?
Load More Replies...
Me. Just Me. 3 years ago
I think this is just a mistaken case of auto-correct. Somehow the device auto-corrected "roommate" to "husband".
Tanya Venter 3 years ago
Wow! This is terrible. My husband wants me to be successful and wants the best for me. I have a triving hairsalon and had a beautiful salon at home for 7 years.(we have since sold our house) My Business paid for water and electricity, that made sense as I used more than what our household did.
RafCo (he/him) 3 years ago
I'm not married to you, but I want you to be successful too. We as people should always be about lifting each other up. Regardless of our personal relationships to each other. The person that the OP is describing is an awful human being. That fact that he is making a demand of tithing of his wife certainly makes it worse.
Load More Replies... LittleMissPanda 3 years ago
Charge him for third of his salary for the chores, then. Let's see how he likes that
EM Johnson 3 years ago
She could charge him, but his request would still leave a sour taste. She should pack it up and move on. Thank that red flag on her way out the door.
Load More Replies... James016 3 years ago
So essentially he wants you to pay him 30% for using the empty room in the house? What a d1ck.
Bubs623 3 years ago
Is it a new thing for each partner in a marriage to 'pay their share' of the bills? When I got married, we had one joint account. Well, two: savings and checking. Any money we earned or received went into the account. All of it was 'ours'. Any major purchase was discussed beforehand. I was a SAHM for many years to raise our kids but I never felt like I couldn't spend money or buy things for myself or the kids. We had a budget together. There wasn't any 'my money' and 'your money'. My grown kids also have this arrangement with their SO's. Is that not common now?
Damitria 3 years ago
Some couples do prefer separate bank accounts. To each his own. But this guy is wanting her to pay 30% as well as half the bills (which she already pays) and her do all of the household chores.
Load More Replies... Mimi Johnston 3 years ago
I fully agree. You work and pay half the bills, yet you also do 100% of the chores? Girl, you are worth so much more. Better to be alone than with someone who takes advantage of you. As someone who has been there, I know it only gets worse until you set yourself free. Be courageous--you deserve someone to treat you with respect, even if it's yourself alone for a while.
Beck 3 years ago
This is insane. You are married it is now half yours. If he wants to act like that, charge him $20 for cleaning kitcken, $100 for bathroom and $5000 for bedroom duties since this is a transaction for him.
Beck 3 years ago (edited)
I am sorry. I have to get off BP for a minute. That guy made me so mad.
Load More Replies... Dash Junior 3 years ago
Seriously? It does not matter that the man owned the house before they couple got married. It is now home to a married couple. Something to be shared equally. Okay. He can keep the house when she divorces him.
madbakes 3 years ago
Well, maybe, depending on the state. She may be able to take half the house.
Load More Replies... Victoria Pitt 3 years ago
This just makes me sad. Reminds me of my ex-fiance. I remember so clearly how he was infuriated I wasn't using my $800 tax return to put towards the wedding, when I had suggested I use it to pay off debt. Mind you, he didn't ask politely if I would contribute that money, he just flew off the handle and was a complete a*****e to me. Come to find out later on, his grandfather had been writing him $5000 checks for the wedding, and he had ALOT of money in the bank (He was stealing 15-30k from the bike shop he managed every year and splitting it with the owner). Yea, definitely made the right decision breaking that off. My current partner would never dream of talking to me like that.
The Starsong Princess 3 years ago
The person who said that this is predatory financial abuse is absolutely right. If she is paying this fee plus bills and his no doubt other fees, she will not be able to have or save any money so she will be dependent and that’s the point. I knew a girl once who worked from home. However, her boyfriend put a padlock on the thermostat because it was he owned the apartment so it was only heated when he was home. In Scotland. The temperature went down to about 7 degrees C in there. I told her this was abuse but she went on like that because he made sure she didn’t have any money if her own. These guys do not get less awful.
Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
Wow - that was definite abuse. I hope she eventually listened to someone, maybe sought advice at a woman’s shelter, and got out of there.
Load More Replies... Jennifer Beedie 3 years ago
I can't believe she even has to ask if she's the A. The only word she needs to focus on is divorce.
Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
There’s probably other browbeating/gaslighting going on and she is starting to doubt herself.
Load More Replies... Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
What kind of crazy marriage is this relationship? Like other people have said, she needs to stop doing his share of the household chores. He probably thinks that because she doesn’t have to commute and she’s a woman, she should naturally do everything. She also needs to start looking for her own place and a divorce lawyer. There’s no sense of a loving partnership in his heart.
Ian Reynolds 3 years ago
I have never understood married couples who live like this, as soon as a moved in with my wife (girlfriend at the time), we opened up a joint account and put everything through that, at the time she was earning more than me, now I am earning more, but this has never affected us. It's not my or her money, every penny we earn is our money, makes life so much easier.
Magpie 3 years ago
I wouldn't be surprised if he has been cheating, but her working from home has disrupted that. Who wouldn't embrace this? WFH saves people money on fuel or fare, & lunches out. Only people with something to hide would say something so drastic to get the other person back to the office.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 3 years ago (edited)
Sharing is a good thing. The divorce court will teach a very special way of doing it. And does the husband intend to report that 30% as rental income on his taxes?
Cassi Lyris 3 years ago
Divorce him. 50% of that house isn't "his". You're supposed to be his partner, not a tenant he gets to bang. Just leave. What on Earth happened during your life that made you think this is not just ok but normal at all? Sometimes I read these and I genuinely hope they're fake, and this is one.
F C 3 years ago
Because people often hide this part of themselves before they marry, or they take more and more every year and the other person starts making more and more concessions
Load More Replies... Dina Anastasakos 3 years ago
Bad enough if he asked for rent for the room...but 30% of her salary?? Does he do 30% of her work?! Just wow. What surprises me is that this woman stays with him.
Suzie 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds like he can call it his house but if you comingle finances and pay for anything regarding mortgage, repairs, or renovations then it is no longer "his" house. Depending on your state laws anyway. I'd get a quote for a housekeeping service and start charging him that same amount for all the home chores you do.
Web Surfer 3 years ago
You know, these posts are absolutely pointless, BP. Unless there is an update about what happened, this kind of post only serves to contribute to the internet’s overall display of bad people, bad situations and creates anger.
Lacia Lew 3 years ago
I must be the luckiest girl in the world. My fiance might be a dork and hopeless kamen rider fan who'd shout "henshin!" in weekly basis, but he will never dream of asking me for salary from helping out in the cafe, even when he's got his own WFH to think of. Sometimes I even need to remove him from the cafe, if not he'd still be there washing dishes when I'm still very much capable of doing it and he's got deadline for his own job.
Agent Tuna Ghost 3 years ago
Your husband actually sounds really adorable :) I'm happy you found yourself such a sweet guy.
Load More Replies... Bina Wei 3 years ago
I'm worried for OP, her homelife doesn't seem stable. Honestly normally i would be careful recommending this as I am just a stranger but i think she should move her office out of home. Maybe herself too. Perhaps a hotel room? As her family doesn't appear trustworthy. And then the couple could work on their marriage whilst both sides have stability
EM Johnson 3 years ago
I would find a decent place and not even tell him. He will notice when no one's picking up behind him and the spare room is empty. Let his mommy come over to clean. This is a red flag that can't be ignored.
Howard___fan 3 years ago
First of all youre married so his house is half your house. Second of all, leave him. Life is too short. You know its nonsense and you can’t live your life like that forever.
Mama Suku 3 years ago
That is very weird. That's not love on his behalf. My partner of 10 years, we have 4 children together. And he now makes more money than I do, HE PAYS BILLS, PROVIDES OUR FOOD, ANY NECESSITY NEEDED FOR US OR THE KIDS, and he tells me to keep my check and buy anything I need or want for myself or for the kids. That's love. When he needs any extra help from me towards bills or anything he communicates that clearly but it's rare. He's a true provider from the heart. 💛 Good luck Dear, you deserve better.
Touhou Neko 3 years ago
This is really bad, it usually is either they share everything or both are on their own money wise but to expect a percentage of the work money from your partner (if they both have a job and work) is garbage be that a man or a woman...
Julie Schueler 3 years ago
This is the beginning stage of an abusive and toxic relationship. Get out now, before it gets worse. And depending on where you live, there may be a chance that you have some ownership of the house if your state is a community property state. That is something only your lawyer can advise on. If friends, family or anyone else tells you that the house is his because he owned it prior to the marriage, that isn't necessarily true. Any decent attorney can give you advice on the splitting of marital property.
Sparkle 3 years ago
OP's husband seems insecure....by taking her money, he's effectively making it so she can never leave him. So, to that I say, RUN! I wonder how his mom would feel if his dad charged her rent in their house? (Since she thinks it's totally acceptable for him to do that). "It's *MY* house!" "Fine. Bye!"
James Thomas 3 years ago
Well, she definitely married a winner. I would say she should charge him for "love", but her time and money would be best served hiring a good divorce attorney.
Holly Benedict 3 years ago
Really hope this is some fake nonsense, but I know those kinds of nut bars exist. If it came out as "hey, I'm glad your happy with your new job, but now that you're home all day for work, we are using more electricity than usual, we both pay half the bill but would you consider paying a little more than half each month to make up the difference?" That would have been the only acceptable way to approach the situation.
Bruce Nielsen 3 years ago
Run, run Forrest as fast as you can. Get away from this awful creature. You are stronger than you know, but maybe a bit colorblind missing all those red flags
Sora 3 years ago
My question is how are these kinds of people finding each other, going on a first date, then a second date and so on; then spend weeks, months, and years in each other's company; then get engaged and then get married; then decide to live together and perhaps have a family and then finally find out well gosh maybe this person I got involved with is a total jack-a*s whom I should have never have met in the first place? I mean did they not see the warning flags!?
Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
Sometimes you ignore them because you are blinded, you have low self-esteem, and society tells you you shouldn’t be alone.
Load More Replies... Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
Yep. There’s no going back from that craziness.
Load More Replies... Mary Muir 2 years ago
Okay, here's the problem as I see it. Husband owns the house, there's no mortgage, wife is working, she pays half the share bills and does the chores. That's the deal they have made somehow. If either wants to change the deal, then they have to sit down and negotiate. Wife is using empty room for WFH. Husband feels he should get compensated for wife taking that room despite husband not using it prior to this. Well, that's fair, so what would the rent be for just one room? $50/month?? $100? Well it certainly wouldn't be 30% of wife's wages!!! Husband is making a huge money grab here, and he should be ashamed of his greedy self. Wife should stop WFH and go to the office (or even rent a small office in a shared suite). Bet husband would change his mind very quickly when the chores don't get done because wife is out working in her separate office! And if he wants to treat wife like a tenant or boarder, then maybe wife needs a separate bed to sleep in. ;-)
Stephanie 2 years ago
I bet if she tried to set up shop with her laptop in the kitchen, or bedroom, or living room, he'd still try to charge her for office space. my man, it's ONE DESK. it's no more electricity used than you likely use with your video games or power tools all weekend long. I hope anyone who thinks this is acceptable stays single forever
Stargazer66 2 years ago
File for divorce and end this now. It's never going to get better. Do not have children with this man either.
Rosalie Dann 3 years ago
The most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Hard to believe it's real, it's so daft.
robin aldrich 3 years ago
There's been quite a few of these weird cases where the husband or significant other is just outrageous and dickish... Is this what's becoming of men? I mean women have been the subject of similar stories, too but a lot of these stories seem to be about men being terrible to their women...
T M 3 years ago
I'm wondering what his goal and motives are here. Is he saying that to force you to go back to the office? Why? Does he have other plans for the room? What is he going to do with the money you give him? Do you make more than him? Is he jealous or concerned you get to stay home? Something isn't right about the way he's treating you. Get some counseling cause this guy doesn't seem to understand what a partnership is. Also protect yourself financially. This sounds like the kind of guy that will try to leave you with nothing if it all falls down.
Ladytron 3 years ago
Wow. It must be so stressful to live at a place thats not your home in any way (he made that very clear). And they split bills 50/50 AND she does all chores? Why would he be entitled to an additional 30% of her income? He just want her to stay in her place as his property. Thats not a partnership or a marriage.
Maggie Hood 3 years ago
If your husband charges you for living in your shared house, that's not your husband. Nobody in their right mind would make their spouse do this, especially when they do the chores and pay their part of the bills.
Ad Libitum 3 years ago
This is super bad news! She should divorce him asap because other issues will also arrise being by the side of such a toxic and malicious person. He doesn't love his wife, not even his wife! She should run now while she still can and there are no babies involved
Nelly Lukina 3 years ago
Please please do not bring children together! You will be miserable !
Wandaria Newton 3 years ago
I have this awful feeling this is not going to end well.......for you. You said he brought the house before you got married and admittedly its his house. If the s**t hits the fan and I think it will........ I would get out of it. Let him have his house and go and buy your own. I would like to say, I hope all goes well for you both but im sorry can't see mending.anytine soon.
Melissa aldridge 3 years ago
You sorry rat bastard you should be shot for even thinking it girl leave him and knock his a*s out cold better yet where you at I wanna come over and help you out
Agent Tuna Ghost 3 years ago
She'd better hope she doesn't get pregnant, because as soon as that baby's out hubby will probably start demanding it pay a crib rental fee. Come to think of it, since MIL is on his side OP might want to ask her if her son paid for his room while he was growing up, or if she'd be cool with *her* husband charging her to share their bedroom. I also assume that OP didn't just take on a new job so she could go out and buy new dresses; as she said, she uses the money to help pay the bills, and likely to buy food and take care of the household expenses, as well. And she probably wouldn't give it a second thought if hubby just *asked* her for some extra money here and there instead of acting like she was his tenant. Ffs, the need some people feel nowadays to make *every* little family/friend interaction transactional right down to the penny, people you love and who are supposed to love and cherish you back, is absolutely insane to me.
Tanya Stevens 3 years ago
Wow this is a husband not a roommates? I wouldn’t give him a dime but I’d give him an empty bed and why is it always the mother supporting their sons bull snap.
Becky Boat 3 years ago
NTA. However if you divorced him you would not get half of the equity of the house because he bought it before he married you. You would get half of the equity it acquired during your marriage. It is bad enough that he expects you to pay him for using space while you work from home but for me it would have been a deal breaker when he ran to tell on you to his mother. What a tool. Too bad you didn't know him better when you married him. Move out and start divorce precedings.
Helen Taylor 3 years ago
I hate to use the big “D“ word, but this man doesn’t sound like he understands that he is married. You are sharing expenses 50-50, doing the housework, and now he wants to charge rent because a room in the house makes a home office for ? Perhaps counseling can help, but with this expectation and going to his family, I’m not sure that it can.
Mari Mar Pinta 3 years ago
What a piece of garbage.... unbelievable... He has no respect for her and doesn't value her at all. That's his Wife... not some random tenant or business deal. If I was married and my husband treated me like that and he has his mom involved too, I'd leave him. There's no love there and I'm beginning to think there never was....
Queen Boadicea 3 years ago
Lmao... going to be a bit of shock if they divorce, a house becomes marital property after a marriage and cohabitation. Doesn't matter who bought it or when.
Kevin Felton 3 years ago
Dude, get out! Seriously run now. An honest guy knows that in a marriage a raising tide lifts all ships. If he's trying to take money from you then he's doing it to control you. The less money you have access to, the more dependent you are on him. Which means the less likely you are to leave him. If he takes that money, then he's guaranteed to hide it somewhere.
Patricia Crawford-Falconer 3 years ago
Op should invoice all the chores she does that he benefits from (laundry, cleaning, cooking, paying of bills), then go stay with a family member that she trust has her back. Don't go back til he says she abandoned him, then say no I left because you weren't paying my wages you owe you personal cook, Housekeeper, and laundry service. If he has a brain he'll realize his mistake and apologize. I know this works, I did it to my current husband.
Loreitta M Tuthill 3 years ago
Leave and don't look back. See an attorney pronto, see what your rights are. Remain childless, less complicated.
Crystal Ruiz 3 years ago
Lol, Easy, charge for 50% a cleaning fee, i mean, it's "his property". charge for food prep services, minus ingredients if he pays for them. If you pay the bills, charge for facilitating that service, get petty. And also change back pay, you've been doing it for a while. And in any case, why is he charging 30% of your pay check no rent, anywhere, works like that. Look up what rent of a similar house looks like at your area, divided it the square footage of the house and he can only get paid for that. I'm guessing it's a lot less than what he's gonna owe you.
Holly Denman 3 years ago
And can't he write off what you use for work on his taxes? He already got his benefit and a whole lot more. Remember you can only be taken advantage of if you let yourself.
kelly boykin 3 years ago
Someone asked 'Is he charging you to use the kitchen? The bathroom? Why yes, yes he is. You are an indentured servant. You do all the chores. And he holds control over you by claiming ownership of the home you live in. This is your security. What this also is is psychological abuse. I'm so sorry this is the relationship. I imagine you reaching out online for advice is because part of you has always known this situation wasn't healthy and this last event has pushed you over the 50/50 mark. No overreaction here: this is unhealthy. He is controlling. His control is abuse. Doing all the housework as 'payment' for living in 'his home' is psychological abuse. I have an ex for the same reason. A couple years out and I can see it quite clearly now. We were never going to be equal and I was never going to be treated as if I was 'in control' even when it was my car we were in or my money we spent or my house were spent the night at. That is not love. That is you serving a purpose to fulfill his des
Shawnna Clement 3 years ago
I never understood keeping personal bank accounts rather than pooling money into one, let alone not sharing physical assets. I call my vehicle mine and my husband's his, but the ironic thing is he holds my title and I hold his. I'm the one with the home mortgage and had to have the paperwork redone to add him to the deed. I didn't have to, but that's part of building a life together. What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine.
Shayla Katherina 3 years ago
What the actual f**k? Why is OP married to this person? It's not "my house" when you marry someone and they live in and help you take care of the house. Secondly, requiring your spouse to pay rent because of the type of job they have? That makes no sense apart from OP's husband is going on a power trip. I think people tend to throw around the divorce card too liberally on reddit, but in this case I'd seriously consider it. OP is seen as a roommate instead of a spouse.
Angel Mist 3 years ago
Poor woman. I was involved in a marriage like that once. It didn't end well.
Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
Last time I checked, getting married meant sharing things. None of this "my house" bull c**p
Lydia Green 3 years ago
Wow, he is doing way to much. I would never say divorce or leave that’s not right but I would say give him his funky 30 percent, but don’t buy groceries or tell him those are YOUR groceries he can’t have any don’t touch or charge hi in or you can give him the silent treatment just be humble don’t say a word or find a small coffee shop that you can sit at all day and do your work and don’t tell him. At least a coffee shop all you have to do is probably get something to drink.
Sami-Jo Ross 3 years ago
And this is her HUSBAND?! This is so not how marriage works, you don't charge your spouse for using a room as an office so she can pay her half of the bills. I hope OP divorces him and brings that up in the process, because this guy has issues.
JJ Mai 3 years ago
Sounds like my ex. He would always bring his mom into our fights. He would even have her on the phone when we were having our fights, claiming she was being a 'mediator'. This man was twenty-five and always cried to his mommy. He ended up knocking up a nineteen-year-old girl just five months after we broke up. They and the baby live with his mom now. Our two bedroom apartment was almost as large as her house. Karma will get your husband.
F C 3 years ago
Lol my mother is the same. Don't speak to either of my parents now
Load More Replies... Tracy Rieon Hall 3 years ago (edited)
Alright here goes cut your losses divorce him since he keeps rubbing your face in the fact that it's his property. You help pet the bills, do chores,cook, clean etc but yet he still wants to charge you 30% of whatever you make wow. Go buy or rent your own place, move out and get your own space. Life is entirely too short for this type of manipulation he honestly doesn't love you because if he did he would try to help you grow and prosper as well as support you not keep you down. Cut your losses and block all contact with him and his family this is a major red flag
Rahul Pawa 3 years ago
I wonder if he straight up asked for a cut of her salary, or a specific dollar amount and she did the math. A rent payment would never be based on the tenant's salary. That's ludacris even if they weren't married.
Belle Miles 3 years ago
This is not a wife. She is an optional maid with benefits and will be thrown out when he's done with her.
Karri Stapp 3 years ago
I agree with other posters on here. Figure out how much he would pay someone else to cook his meals, do his laundry, clean "his" house and tell him he's expected to pay you for all you do for him. Tell him you'll subtract it from the 30% he wants from you. He may end up owing you money!
Janet Howe 3 years ago
Another spreadsheet marriage. Is this post a fake? This one really angered me. Ok, lots of these posts do. Are you BF/GF or married? I got confused about that somewhere in the middle. BUT do not pay another dime for anything. If you're married, your name should be on that deed. Sounds like he's holding that over your head also. Seriously, find a lawyer and find out what your rights are. At this point, if anything happened to him, depending on your state, you might not be able to stay in that house. A house with 2 f-ing rooms and he wants rent for 1 of them?? I can say from personal experience that this might not end well. This man is selfish and controlling. Seriously, you need to consult a lawyer to find out what your rights are. You might try couples counseling, if he'll go. But that's me, you have to figure out what's right for YOU.
Lovingmyself 3 years ago
WTF is going on! I have heard it all. First, so what he had the property before you. I had a townhouse and house before marrying my husband of 15 years. I sold the townhouse and after we married I added my husband to the loan and deed. You know why? Because it was the adult thing to do when GOD sends anyone a great spouse. Plus I could imagine how it would feel if the roles were reverse. After a year of marriage we bought a 6 thousand square foot house and rented out our old house that was bought before him. That man doesn't love you. No one with a heart would dare say those words to a spouse. YNTAH, however, is he having trouble paying the taxes on the house since it's paid for? Why is he stressing about money? There's something he isn't telling you. As much as I would love to say hang in there. Ms. Lady you need to RUN AND DON'T WALK. RUN. Before you do ask yourself this question? Why do you feel it's no big deal that he doesn't want to make you complete as husband and wife?
Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
I doubt the land taxes would be very much for such a small house, but yes, something else is going on, like he’s got a bit on the side.
Load More Replies... SirWriteALot 3 years ago
I think there is more to this story. They are married but split bills. Which means there is a financial side to all this. Needs to be talked about and not aired on BP without all the info. I'm getting weird vibes but some couples have a weird setup.
Praecordia 3 years ago
Wow. Your husband sounds insane. Guess he doesn’t understand how a marriage works. I’d start charging him for every chore done and start billing him at the end of the month. 😂 He is too ridiculous!
Caroline Sinclair 3 years ago
Other than bathroom and kitchen, but OP may mean two bedrooms.
Load More Replies... Tba 1 3 years ago
Yet women don't say a word when she expects him to pay, pay, pay for everything in her life. he should charge her more.
Birgitte Andersen 2 years ago
Wtf are you talking about. He doesn't pay for anything in her life. They share all expenses equally plus she is the one doing all the housekeeping.
Load More Replies... Randy O 3 years ago
“Men are socialized to pursue influence, respect, and power. They like having it. They like getting it. They are culturally rewarded for achievement, often accumulating influence, respect, and authority in the process. But power without respect is a hollow victory.” Oh please, this is men and women. This statement oozes with blatant sexism. Sounds like Dr. McMahon and Dr. Gottman have never had a corporate job.
Cindy Hurd 3 years ago
No way! Time to evict yourself and serve HIM with 100 percent divorce papers and get with someone who values YOU..not your PAYCHECK!
Memoryerror 3 years ago
I have a genuine question. If this was a friend that was letting her live in their house for free and she took an "unused" room as an office for WFH, would the friend still be an a*****e for asking for compensation for use of the room?
Agent Tuna Ghost 3 years ago
A little bit, yes, since the logic is pretty inconsistent. You didn't charge them to live in the rest of the house up to that point, right? So why would you draw the line at a room that no one's even using? Why not just ask them to split the bills/rent at that point (assuming they weren't making any money before--since why else would they be staying at their friend's place for free--and are now able to contribute)? I don't think that would be an unreasonable request. However, a down-on-their-luck friend is a lot different from a person's significant other, and you wouldn't treat the two living situations the same.
Load More Replies... zena bena 3 years ago
Honestly why do people post things like this and ask"am i in the wrong?" Ffs wake up and smell the coffee.Your marriage is in big trouble if your husband is doing stuff like this.You are his roommate till he comes home 9ne day soon and tells you he found someone else and wants you outta his house.Hope you put that extra 33% into anest egg for yourself for that time.Clock is ticking down.
BeepBeepBoopBoop 3 years ago
sometimes people are oblivious to if what he's doing is bad or not
Load More Replies... Mark Mazzeo 3 years ago
What I want to know is the other side of the story everyone here is attacking her husband when you don’t know the full story. Maybe he’s been paying 100% of the bills and never asked her for a dime in the past. You cannot base this off one side of the story know the whole story before you start judging people.
Agent Tuna Ghost 3 years ago
Says right there that OP splits half of the household expenses with him AND does all the housework, but just ignore that part, I guess.
Load More Replies... John Dough 3 years ago
Whenever you want to get off that cross you nailed yourself to and stop being a victim feel free.
Load More Replies... John Dough 3 years ago
What do you people expect to gain with this nonsense? Every story one of you rolls in calling it fake. Which drives up engagement and creates more of this content. Why do you keep clicking on these articles? Do you have nothing better to do??
Load More Replies... Marilyn Russell 3 years ago
Well, because they are now in a marriage - a supposed lifetime partnership, where two people share their resources to build a hopefully happy life together. What would happen if heaven forbid she had a child? Would he insist she do all the childcare since the baby came from her womb and would she have to fight him for financial support?
Load More Replies... You May Like “My Wife Gave Birth To A (Black) Baby That Clearly Isn't Mine, And I'm Divorcing Her” Family Excludes Daughter's Wife From Vacation, Gets Mad When She Refuses To Join: "My Heart Sank" Man Is Sick Of Family Always Excluding Him, Decides To Cut Contact For Good
Mantas Kačerauskas
Jonas Žvilius
Justinas Keturka
Related on Bored Panda
113
201