Husband Buys Another Woman Chocolates And Cookies, Wife Asks Web If She’s Overreacting

There’s nothing that will end a relationship as fast as a betrayal of trust. It’s the bedrock that everything else is built upon and, without it, you’ve got nothing. Just ask anyone whose partner has done something dodgy behind their back.

One woman was taken aback when her husband confessed to her that he’d secretly gifted chocolates and cookies to a mom at their son’s school. Apparently, her husband apologized but got angry and shut her down when she wanted to delve a bit deeper.

More info: Reddit

Without trust, you’ve got nothing, as this woman is unfortunately finding out the hard way

Man and child playing with colorful geometric toys in a cozy living room setting with eclectic decor.

Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

After she brought up one of the moms at her son’s school, her husband reluctantly confessed he’d bought the married woman chocolate and cookies

Wife confused as flirty dad drops off sweets to another mom at school, raising questions about red flags in relationships.

Text excerpt about a flirty dad dropping sweets to another mom at school, causing wife confusion over red flags.

Text excerpt about a flirty dad dropping off sweets for another mom at school, raising confusion and concern.

Hands holding a chocolate cookie from a box of sweets, representing a flirty dad dropping off treats at school.

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Later she spoke to another parent at the school who told her that her husband is known for being flirty, something she had never suspected

Confused wife reacts as flirty dad drops off sweets to another mom at school causing suspicion of red flag behavior.

Text excerpt discussing a flirty dad at school and a confused wife noticing potential red flags.

Confused wife expresses feelings about flirty dad dropping off sweets to another mom at school, questioning if it's a red flag.

Two women in a serious conversation indoors, reflecting on a flirty dad dropping off sweets at school.

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

She admitted to feeling a mix of confusion, disappointment, and insecurity, but when she tried talking about it with her hubby, he shut her down

Text on a white background saying someone doesn’t want to overreact or ignore something that feels off and seeks advice.

Text update message expressing gratitude to commenters and those who shared their thoughts.

Confused wife questions flirty dad dropping off sweets to another mom at school, wondering if it’s a red flag.

Woman sitting on couch, looking thoughtfully out the window, reflecting on flirty dad dropping off sweets at school.

Image credits: Doci / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Not sure how upset she should be, she turned to netizens to get some objective insights and advice

Text update about a flirty dad dropping off sweets at school, causing confusion and concern from a confused wife.

Text excerpt about a flirty dad rubbing cologne on a teacher’s wrists at school, raising red flags for the confused wife.

Confused wife reacts as flirty dad drops sweets to another mom at school, raising questions about a possible red flag.

Worried wife watches as flirty dad drops off sweets to another mom at school, raising red flag concerns.

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The woman told the online community that she doesn’t want to overreact, but she also doesn’t want to ignore something that feels so off

When a school mom texted OP out of the blue to grab coffee, it seemed harmless. But her 31-year-old husband, a stay-at-home dad, had secretly gone a step further. He drove half an hour to get specialty chocolates and cookies for this mom. He said he was already shopping, but… OP had never even met the woman.

He only confessed to all this after she brought up the coffee text, saying he feared the mom might mention the treats. OP tried to talk it out, but he just got defensive and angry. No deep conversation, just “drop it.” His reaction raised more red flags than reassurance. Why was he being so secretive? And why was he so upset?

Later, another school parent let it slip that OP’s hubby is known as a “flirty guy.” And the surprises didn’t end there. Apparently, he once let a teacher wear his cologne, literally rubbing it on her wrists. While the sweet treats were strange, this was just plain awkward. For OP, something definitely wasn’t sitting right anymore, so she turned to an online community for advice.

Her husband refuses to revisit the issue, saying his vague apology was enough. OP, however, is not convinced. The mom in question couldn’t meet until Thursday, so she’s waiting to talk to her. In the meantime, OP says she’s grateful for netizens’ insights and now knows she’s not crazy for feeling at least a little betrayed.

Man and woman discussing notes together in a school setting with flirty dad dropping off sweets nearby

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

From what OP tells us in her post, her husband doesn’t seem to think his frankly dodgy behavior is a big deal, but his unwillingness to discuss it reeks of guilt. What OP is possibly in the early stages of is something called betrayal trauma. So, just what is it, and how do you recover? We went looking for answers.

In her article for Charlie Health, Eleanor Blaine writes that betrayal trauma, a term coined by psychologist Jennifer Freyd, is used by clinicians to describe what happens when the people or institutions we depend on for support and safety violate our trust. 

According to Blaine, one of the most common effects of betrayal trauma is betrayal blindness, meaning the unawareness, not-knowing, and forgetting of betrayals (often done unconsciously). Freyd suggests that betrayal blindness is a common occurrence, especially in response to childhood trauma and partner trauma (usually infidelity).

In her article for ChoosingTherapy, Rachel Larson suggests several tips for betrayal trauma recovery. A few of these include acknowledging the trauma, taking care of your body, focusing on your healthy relationships, learning to set boundaries, finding your passion (or rediscovering an old one), and committing to your own personal growth.

We suspect OP’s upcoming coffee with the other woman is going to be interesting. Whatever happens, she and her husband are probably going to have to hash things out sooner or later. After all, without trust, you ain’t got much.

What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think her husband’s hiding anything else? What do you think her coffee with the other mom will reveal? Let us know in the comments!

In the comments, readers slammed the husband for being dishonest and flirty, with one straight up accusing him of cheating

Screenshot of an online discussion about a flirty dad dropping off sweets to another mom at school causing confusion.

Reddit conversation about a flirty dad dropping sweets to another mom at school, sparking confusion and suspicion.

Screenshot of an online discussion about a flirty dad dropping off sweets to another mom at school and concerns about red flags.

Screenshot of an online discussion about a flirty dad dropping off sweets to another mom at school.

Online discussion about a stay-at-home dad dropping off sweets to another mom, raising concerns of a red flag.

Screenshot of an online forum discussing a flirty dad dropping off sweets to another mom at school, causing a confused wife concern.

Comment discussing a flirty dad dropping off sweets to another mom at school, raising wife’s concerns about a red flag.

Comment discussing a flirty dad dropping off sweets to another mom at school and a confused wife wondering if it’s a red flag.

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