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Every Single Family Member Takes This Woman’s Side After She Found Out Her Husband Was Cheating With Her Best Friend
Every Single Family Member Takes This Woman’s Side After She Found Out Her Husband Was Cheating With Her Best Friend
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Every Single Family Member Takes This Woman’s Side After She Found Out Her Husband Was Cheating With Her Best Friend

126

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Marriage should be an alliance of a lifetime between loving partners who support each other through thick and thin. This sort of rhetoric is echoed in the vows many couples make during their wedding. But humans are unfortunately no strangers to saying one thing and doing another.

A woman shared a heart-wrenching story of betrayal when she learned that her husband of six years had been cheating on her for months with her best friend. When turning off an alarm on her husband’s phone, she saw a text that led her to investigate the lies her partner and friend had been feeding her.

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    Finding out a long-term partner has not been faithful can flip a person’s whole life upside down

    Image credits: drazenphoto (not the actual photo)

    A woman discovered her husband of six years was having an affair with her best friend

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    Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Present-Hope4502

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    OP gave an update of how emotions a bit later and what she planned to do

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    She then detailed the final confrontation

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    Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Present-Hope4502

    Cheaters give a number of excuses for why they betrayed another person’s trust

    The “simple” explanation for why people cheat boils down to a lack of self-control and wanting more than they have. Lust is a cardinal sin for a reason, but many people might wonder why their long-term partners, who they think they know, give in to baser instincts so easily. The first explanation is that they don’t know them that well. People lie, manipulate and build a false impression of themselves. Digging deeper, there are other, emotional reasons why a person might decide to be unfaithful. This is a notoriously difficult topic to research, as most people aren’t exactly forthcoming with information about their infidelity, much less the reasoning behind it.

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    The research that has looked into this topic points to a variety of emotions. These include anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, as well as environmental factors like opportunity and circumstance. Generally, it’s a combination of them, as a desire without opportunity normally tends to not go anywhere. When interviewed, cheaters often justify their actions not due to an attachment for the new partner, but due to feeling a lack of affection in the first relationship. It is important to take these answers with a grain of salt, as the vast majority of people, faithful or not, still see cheating as something bad. Even in anonymous surveys, social desirability bias is still in play. The unfortunate truth is that we constantly want to look better to others than we really are.

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

    It can be hard to understand why a person would throw away a relationship through dishonesty

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    This means that in most contentious topics, researchers have to be very careful to pick out real answers and people simply try to make themselves appear better. It’s easier to say that you cheated if you can blame your partner, instead of admitting to a lack of self-control. In a study conducted in the US, only half of the self-reported cheaters actually admitted to having sex with someone other than their partner. On average, women tend to have longer affairs, while men often cite revenge or an opportunity as their primary motivators, meaning they have no desire for a longer relationship. Interestingly, the majority of respondents that confessed did it to spite or hurt their partners, meaning it’s possibly less of a question of coming clean and more of inflicting more pain.

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    In the end, infidelity is ugly and hurtful in almost all situations. Yes, people have autonomy and consenting adults can make their own decisions, but the beauty of a marriage is that people decide, voluntarily, to give up certain freedoms. A commitment is only special if it costs you something. More often than not, it’s the lies that end up hurting more than the instances of cheating. OP documenting the entire saga is a good example of how to not lose your head in a horrible situation. Fortunately, she had access to legal assistance, family, and the element of surprise. Hopefully, she can make as good a life as she can after this situation, after cutting two manipulative liars out of her life.

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    Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)

    Readers expressed their sympathy and disgust at the husband and friend

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Read less »
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

    Read less »

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a senior visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

    What do you think ?
    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn. I know this is a horrible situation that OP and her kids are going through, and so many loving people have been hurt by it, but dammit if this isn't the most riveting thing I've ever read on Bored Panda. Gripping.

    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's handling everything perfectly too.

    Load More Replies...
    Woundwort42
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, it blew up on reddit, the ex best friend seems to have responded AND revealed real names

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you have a link? or a username? I'm scrolling through and can't seem to find it.

    Load More Replies...
    The Mom
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Food for thought: She didn't see any signs of cheating because he's been doing it the whole time they were together. . I know of a husband that cheated on his wife with her best friend. When wife found out she overdosed. Husband found her, called an ambulance and then died of a heart attack. Wife lived and cut off best friend.

    Monday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's nice to see the in-laws on the side of the wounded party instead of stubbornly sticking up for their kid. At least that means the kids will have grandma and grandpa in their lives to help with stability too. I can't fathom how anyone does this to their best friend.

    Emmydearest
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, this story sounds a little made up, with the revelation of love at the end... Anyway, if it's real I feel really sorry for her. I can't say I was surprised when I read "married at 19 and 22, six years later with two kids and one on the way": married too young, had kids too young. I know people cheats at all ages, don't need to remind me, but STATISTICALLY speaking, marrying at a very young age usually leads to a failure in most cases. Again, please don't reply "we got married at 19 and we are still going strong 30 years later". Yes, thank you, it's like saying you had a car accident without wearing your seat belts and since you didn't got injured it means that seat belts are superfluous. No, you simply got lucky because statistically not wearing seat belts leads to more serious injuries. That being said, I'd be very cautious. This men seems violent and who knows what he could do.

    Emmydearest
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's been multiple cases of men who went deranged and killed the ex wife or even the kids. Just recently there's been a case here in Italy of a man who killed his 7-months-pregnant partner. She had discovered about the cheating and he had even got the other girl (who didn't know he was engaged) pregnant (even though she had an abortion). It seemed fine enough: the three of them even met together to discuss and later she went back home (probably to collect her things) and he killed her. Then he went around for days pretending she was missing, looking for her, he even appealed to her on TV. Later he finally confessed the murder. Like, the whole country is in shock.

    Load More Replies...
    Tyke
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure she doesn't feel it but what a strong a*s woman - kudos to her! And with regards feeling guilty for not "seeking revenge"... I hope she realises the true revenge here will be when she's moved on and doesn't give a sh!t about her exes (friend and husband) any more. I hope she eventually finds true long lasting happiness and never looks back - THAT will be the ultimate revenge. Good luck to her

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve found that, after going through the DABDA for loss of a relationship, totally forgetting the person is priceless. If they ever ask you what you must think of them for dumping you, you can honestly answer, “But I don’t think of you”. Their effect on you passed without notice. Shatter their illusions about themself, and make them feel like the unimportant a*****e they really are.

    Load More Replies...
    Jill Rhodry
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand one thing - during the confrontation 'Tyler' lunged at 'Jess' and said she'd 'Regret thins' - Tyler's the husband and Jess is the bff having the affair with him, so yeah, what am I missing?

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took that to mean that she shouldn't have sent the text that OP initially discovered.

    Load More Replies...
    Dana J
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am so so sorry to hear this happened to you. I just found out a few weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years, best friend of 20 years cheating on me. I got in contact with the girl and she didn't know about me and proceeded to tell me how she is just a sex worker (no judgement here) and was just using him for money... 🤦🏻‍♀️😢

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, if that isn’t perfect poetic justice. Thinking he’s a real player with a side piece, and really she’s just renting her company out and he’s paying the bill. Boys, if you have to pay for it, you ain’t the hottie hunk you think you are.

    Load More Replies...
    brandyy17
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i had an ex who asked me to marry him i said yes. he then went into the army and during our time apart i found out not only was he not overseas like he said in his emails but he was cheating on me. his twin brother told me everything. his brother always said he didnt deserve a sweet girl like me so he told me everything since i deserved to kno. my ex was not happy. he thought he had his life planned out. a future wife, military job, new car etc. i think back on it and wonder y i said yes in the first place. im happily married now to the man of my dreams. hes the total opposite of my ex.

    Agnes Jekyll
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The signs of their true identities are how aggressive and cruel they both became when confronted. His physical violence is telling. The way they reacted is who they really are.

    Load More Comments
    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn. I know this is a horrible situation that OP and her kids are going through, and so many loving people have been hurt by it, but dammit if this isn't the most riveting thing I've ever read on Bored Panda. Gripping.

    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's handling everything perfectly too.

    Load More Replies...
    Woundwort42
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, it blew up on reddit, the ex best friend seems to have responded AND revealed real names

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you have a link? or a username? I'm scrolling through and can't seem to find it.

    Load More Replies...
    The Mom
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Food for thought: She didn't see any signs of cheating because he's been doing it the whole time they were together. . I know of a husband that cheated on his wife with her best friend. When wife found out she overdosed. Husband found her, called an ambulance and then died of a heart attack. Wife lived and cut off best friend.

    Monday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's nice to see the in-laws on the side of the wounded party instead of stubbornly sticking up for their kid. At least that means the kids will have grandma and grandpa in their lives to help with stability too. I can't fathom how anyone does this to their best friend.

    Emmydearest
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, this story sounds a little made up, with the revelation of love at the end... Anyway, if it's real I feel really sorry for her. I can't say I was surprised when I read "married at 19 and 22, six years later with two kids and one on the way": married too young, had kids too young. I know people cheats at all ages, don't need to remind me, but STATISTICALLY speaking, marrying at a very young age usually leads to a failure in most cases. Again, please don't reply "we got married at 19 and we are still going strong 30 years later". Yes, thank you, it's like saying you had a car accident without wearing your seat belts and since you didn't got injured it means that seat belts are superfluous. No, you simply got lucky because statistically not wearing seat belts leads to more serious injuries. That being said, I'd be very cautious. This men seems violent and who knows what he could do.

    Emmydearest
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's been multiple cases of men who went deranged and killed the ex wife or even the kids. Just recently there's been a case here in Italy of a man who killed his 7-months-pregnant partner. She had discovered about the cheating and he had even got the other girl (who didn't know he was engaged) pregnant (even though she had an abortion). It seemed fine enough: the three of them even met together to discuss and later she went back home (probably to collect her things) and he killed her. Then he went around for days pretending she was missing, looking for her, he even appealed to her on TV. Later he finally confessed the murder. Like, the whole country is in shock.

    Load More Replies...
    Tyke
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure she doesn't feel it but what a strong a*s woman - kudos to her! And with regards feeling guilty for not "seeking revenge"... I hope she realises the true revenge here will be when she's moved on and doesn't give a sh!t about her exes (friend and husband) any more. I hope she eventually finds true long lasting happiness and never looks back - THAT will be the ultimate revenge. Good luck to her

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve found that, after going through the DABDA for loss of a relationship, totally forgetting the person is priceless. If they ever ask you what you must think of them for dumping you, you can honestly answer, “But I don’t think of you”. Their effect on you passed without notice. Shatter their illusions about themself, and make them feel like the unimportant a*****e they really are.

    Load More Replies...
    Jill Rhodry
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand one thing - during the confrontation 'Tyler' lunged at 'Jess' and said she'd 'Regret thins' - Tyler's the husband and Jess is the bff having the affair with him, so yeah, what am I missing?

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took that to mean that she shouldn't have sent the text that OP initially discovered.

    Load More Replies...
    Dana J
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am so so sorry to hear this happened to you. I just found out a few weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years, best friend of 20 years cheating on me. I got in contact with the girl and she didn't know about me and proceeded to tell me how she is just a sex worker (no judgement here) and was just using him for money... 🤦🏻‍♀️😢

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, if that isn’t perfect poetic justice. Thinking he’s a real player with a side piece, and really she’s just renting her company out and he’s paying the bill. Boys, if you have to pay for it, you ain’t the hottie hunk you think you are.

    Load More Replies...
    brandyy17
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i had an ex who asked me to marry him i said yes. he then went into the army and during our time apart i found out not only was he not overseas like he said in his emails but he was cheating on me. his twin brother told me everything. his brother always said he didnt deserve a sweet girl like me so he told me everything since i deserved to kno. my ex was not happy. he thought he had his life planned out. a future wife, military job, new car etc. i think back on it and wonder y i said yes in the first place. im happily married now to the man of my dreams. hes the total opposite of my ex.

    Agnes Jekyll
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The signs of their true identities are how aggressive and cruel they both became when confronted. His physical violence is telling. The way they reacted is who they really are.

    Load More Comments
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