“To The Girl Engaged To My Husband”: Woman’s Heartbreaking Letter Goes Viral
Interview With AuthorWhen two people get married, they vow to honor and love each other. Faithfulness is implied in these vows, but 60% of divorced couples say that cheating is the reason for their separation. Although it may sound like a cliche, husbands actually are more likely to cheat than wives, if only by 7%.
The story we’re covering here also falls into this unfortunate statistic. Redditor u/boshiebabhy recently shared the story of how her husband cheated on her with his 20-year-old student. She wrote an open letter to the young woman in an attempt to deal with the difficult situation she and her son are currently going through.
u/boshiebabhy also kindly agreed to chat with Bored Panda about her experience. She told us more about what inspired her to share it with other netizens, what she’s doing to stay afloat emotionally, and what advice she can give to people who are going through similar things. Read her thoughts down below!
Mental health experts say that journaling helps us cope with sorrows and hardships
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
This woman shared her story of heartbreak in an open letter to the young woman who was now engaged to her husband
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
Image source: boshiebabhy
The husband accused the wife of cheating first
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
The user u/boshiebabhy shared her story of heartbreak online and was met with an incredible amount of support from other netizens. She tells us that telling others, even if anonymously, has helped her cope a great deal. “I never expected the huge outpouring of love and support the post garnered, but it made me feel less alone in a dark time in my life.”
“Reddit is a place I’ve come to share a couple [of] personal stories. It can be somewhere people bond over shared experiences through the written word. For this post specifically, I really just needed to let out pent-up feelings about a situation I had, until now, kept quiet about,” the woman tells Bored Panda.
The Redditor doesn’t mention this in her post, but some Redditors were able to dig it up from her post history that the husband accused her of cheating first. “He accused me of betrayal for mutually following someone I had briefly dated in my teenage years,” she now tells us.
“[It was] someone he knew I had been mutuals with for the entirety of our relationship. It was like a flip switched. One day, he didn’t care, the next, he was screaming I had betrayed him. Nothing, no amount of talking or evidence, could convince him otherwise.”
The Redditor found out her husband was cheating from one of his students
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)
u/boshiebabhy writes in her post that the young woman who her husband cheated on her with was someone she knew. “Even though you came into my home, the home we built together, the home we were raising our son in, and you smiled in my face and told me ‘He’s like the dad I never had.'”
The Redditor told us more details about that, too. “He introduced her to me as someone he was taking under his wing in a parental role because she had a difficult home life. She came over often. He took her out with our friends, took her out to [eat, and] celebrated her birthday. She was in our home many times months before he left,” the woman recounts.
However, the wife didn’t find out about the affair from the husband or the 20-year-old. “A week after he left, another student sent me pictures and videos of them in the school parking lot kissing, holding hands, and hugging,” she tells us. “That person let me know it had been going on for some time.”
Other women have shown incredible kindness and support for the author
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
u/boshiebabhy tells Bored Panda she wishes she was the kind of woman who could just move on and forget. “The kind of woman with the capacity to forgive them and be compassionate. As of now, I can’t see past my own pain and the pain I’ve watched my son go through to consider it.”
“Perhaps, over time, if I stay steadfast in my healing, I will forgive them, not because they deserve it but because I deserve the peace,” the Redditor muses. “I think continuing to face the situation head-on instead of running from it will be the most beneficial. We’ll see how I feel when I’m on the other side of this journey.”
The woman hasn’t sought any professional help, but she’s more than open to it. “I should, anyone should in situations like this. As many of us know, it’s hard to find time between full-time jobs and full-time parenting. I have been put on medication, which has helped tremendously,” she adds.
However, she has received support from other women. “The day I went to ask for help is one I still cannot think about without crying. I had a couple [of] nurses from that day befriend me, give me their numbers, and ask me to add them on socials.”
“They have been rocks! Many of them had gone through similar situations of infidelity. I don’t know where I would be today without the medical help I received that day and the continued support of the women I met along the way.”
That’s her number one piece of advice for others who might be going through a similar thing. “You’re not alone. Reach out to people around you,” she urges. “Talk about your pain. Someone will listen, and it’s so important not to feel isolated when you feel hopeless or are going through difficult times.”
“If you’re hurting, don’t be afraid to reach out to loved ones or even a stranger. Heck, write an anonymous post on the Internet! There are hundreds of people who have gone through similar [things]. But most importantly, know you are loved and worth it. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.”
An outpouring of support came from many commenters, letting the author know she was not alone
Other women who had been in the same situation shared their stories in the comments
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The husband and the student are both a******s. 20 yo is young enough to mistake a 40 yo‘s advances for love, but not young enough to think that cheating is fine. Even 10 year olds know better. I‘ve had two guys hitting on me when I started university who were both in a relationship. I didn’t react correctly*, but I knew better than to hook up with them. (*If you’re in this position: Tell the betrayed partner immediately. You’re not destroying their relationship, the cheater did. And if they tried to cheat with you, they WILL try to cheat with others.)
I agree. I soft of feel this attitude is kind infantilizing women, it's like not taking women seriously.
Load More Replies...It's the comment about the "mask slipping" that did it for me. I'm getting bigtime narc vibes here. I wonder if the wife even recognizes the narcissism. A little odd to me that no one else mentioned that... it leaped out at me.
I’m confused. When you used the term “narc,” you didn’t mean “narc,” but rather “narcissist”? Is that right? Is that a thing we’re doing nowadays? (I need to know so that I don’t ask someone whether he’s a narc and he understands it to mean “narcissist.” Thanks for helping me out with new terminology so I don’t look like a dinosaur!)
Load More Replies...Just re reading…more narcissistic behaviour from him was the triangulation, bringing his other woman to the family home. He likes them young because they are more easily taken in by love bombing.
As my wife always says: if they'll cheat FOR you, they'll cheat ON you.
a good rule of thumb, but not always true. that said, i don't ever fully excuse cheaters, even if it really is only a one time thing.
Load More Replies...It seems hard now but that woman dodged a bullet. Her ex with or without a new girlfriend was heading down the domestic abuse rabbit hole and taking her with him. His getting a new boo saved her life. I believe with her artistic spirit and practical nature, she will find her person and be much better off for it.
No "heading." They were there. She already said he'd come home and take the day's stress or fatigue out on her.
Load More Replies...When you’re ready… write a “Goodbye” letter. I went on a New Beginnings retreat years ago and the most healing and wonderful experience was writing this letter to him. Goodbye to the dreams we had. The plans we’d made. Goodbye to raising our children together. Watching them grow, graduate, and exploring their path. Goodbye to birthdays, holidays, graduations, and sharing their families and possible grandchildren. Goodbye to the dreams we’d promised of growing old together and caring for each other. Being there for each other through the good times and not so good times. Goodbye to dreaming about our future. Remind him that you’ll be okay. You’re strong and this experience has made you stronger. As a mother and a woman you are stronger. I wrote the letter with as much love as I could muster. I deserved that. I no longer gave him permission to consume my thoughts, my tears, my dreams and my hopes for my future. You are right where you’re supposed to be. Bless you and your son. 🙏💕💐
Goodbye to the mask slipping, jealous rages, ignoring your feelings, abuse.
Load More Replies...The woman who my wife's ex-husband cheated on her with got cheated on herself years later and tried to reach out to my wife as if they were now in the same boat. B***h, you f****d around and found out! Y'all are not the same. Good on this woman for having the strength to write this letter.
When I read about the mask, and how it will come off and he will scream at the replacement, I hoped the OP realises one day, this girl did her a favour. She will have the wife’s life until he cheats on her too, and gets another replacement. If he wore a mask at the start then decided the real him was the one he should be every day, and the real him was a cheat and screamed at her, why would she want him? My second OH was like that and it’s a toxic relationship that the wife accepts but only because he’s trained her to accept it. It’s almost like Stockholm syndrome. If it was like that, I hope she recognises one day that she is deserving of someone who values her.
A person over 18 is legally (and morally, and ethically) responsible for what they do. At twenty, you may be immature, but you know damn well to tell the difference between right and wrong. She is not a child or a victim; she is an accomplice. It is *his* fault 100%, of course, but she knew what she was doing all the time. The thing is, she's marrying a cheater. One day she'll be the one who's betrayed. Cheers cheat. Once and again. She'll learn the hard way.
Oh my damn... My ex husband is now married to affair #2. They have two kids, he and I have one. Is it bad that while I would never EVER wish any heartbreak or harm to his children, our daughter included, I secretly wish for the day to hear he's screwing around on her now too?..
Consider, even better: She's screwing around on him.
Load More Replies...This will not help you now, I know. You still hold the reminance of the love you felt. But the silly little twit did you a favor: She Rid You Of A Selfish Cheater & Set You Free! He's HER Problem Now! 'Cuz Suzie Sorority is gonna get old fast....and he's gonna find him a 'nice' (read 'naive') 17YO.
I was thrown out at 18 1/2 by my delusional and mentally ill mother. I found a tiny studio apartment 10 weeks after but lived on a couch in a bad neighbourhood. A cow-orker took me in. The apartment was close to my GF's college and I gave her a key. Instead of studying there, she would take men to my bed. She got caught by a room mate, a friend of hers who ran from his home. Two nights later, I confronted her and broke up. She confessed saying, "It is YOUR FAULT! You are so good in bed and I need the sex when you are at work. Also her has a bigger organ than you. I am NOT small. I am very secure in my masculinity. So, she became a size queen. She cried to her pals and they sympathised with ME. They came to visit me for a year to comfort me. I win all the time
Jusr know your husband did you a big favour.. He is not worthy of you and I hope you find a man who respects you and loves you as you are...Wishing you well..I went through the same thing and kicked him out...and never looked back..I paid for the divorce and never looked back and never remarried!
Why don't wives, whose husband's are having affairs, look at themselves and ask why? You've changed you may have had children he may not have wanted them, you've stopped making an effort, someone else does, your conversations are boring, he wants the excitement back. Been with husband 27 years, he's never wandered off with anyone else as neither one of us has changed. He is my world, as I am his, we laugh, cry, get drunk and party like we used to, it just takes longer to recover. If he is looking elsewhere, you're the problem.
Look obviously someone who is 18-20 knows right or wrong. The problem is that a 38yr old with power over this child - 18 years old is still a teenager and child despite the law. She was groomed by this man and he held power over her. It's the husbands fault for being a creep and seemed like saved her a lot of heartache because he likes them young and will do this again.
Monitoring someone's phone, while ethically complex, may be deemed necessary for security or peace of mind in specific situations. This could apply to partners concerned about suspicious activities or parents wanting to ensure their child's safety. To navigate this process discreetly, it is recommended to consult with a technology expert. One such resource is Marie Consultancy, who can provide guidance on how to approach phone monitoring effectively. Contact Marie at her mail, MARIECONSULTANCYOZ@GMAIL.COM, or reach out via her Instagram account, MARIE_CONSULTANCY.
The husband and the student are both a******s. 20 yo is young enough to mistake a 40 yo‘s advances for love, but not young enough to think that cheating is fine. Even 10 year olds know better. I‘ve had two guys hitting on me when I started university who were both in a relationship. I didn’t react correctly*, but I knew better than to hook up with them. (*If you’re in this position: Tell the betrayed partner immediately. You’re not destroying their relationship, the cheater did. And if they tried to cheat with you, they WILL try to cheat with others.)
I agree. I soft of feel this attitude is kind infantilizing women, it's like not taking women seriously.
Load More Replies...It's the comment about the "mask slipping" that did it for me. I'm getting bigtime narc vibes here. I wonder if the wife even recognizes the narcissism. A little odd to me that no one else mentioned that... it leaped out at me.
I’m confused. When you used the term “narc,” you didn’t mean “narc,” but rather “narcissist”? Is that right? Is that a thing we’re doing nowadays? (I need to know so that I don’t ask someone whether he’s a narc and he understands it to mean “narcissist.” Thanks for helping me out with new terminology so I don’t look like a dinosaur!)
Load More Replies...Just re reading…more narcissistic behaviour from him was the triangulation, bringing his other woman to the family home. He likes them young because they are more easily taken in by love bombing.
As my wife always says: if they'll cheat FOR you, they'll cheat ON you.
a good rule of thumb, but not always true. that said, i don't ever fully excuse cheaters, even if it really is only a one time thing.
Load More Replies...It seems hard now but that woman dodged a bullet. Her ex with or without a new girlfriend was heading down the domestic abuse rabbit hole and taking her with him. His getting a new boo saved her life. I believe with her artistic spirit and practical nature, she will find her person and be much better off for it.
No "heading." They were there. She already said he'd come home and take the day's stress or fatigue out on her.
Load More Replies...When you’re ready… write a “Goodbye” letter. I went on a New Beginnings retreat years ago and the most healing and wonderful experience was writing this letter to him. Goodbye to the dreams we had. The plans we’d made. Goodbye to raising our children together. Watching them grow, graduate, and exploring their path. Goodbye to birthdays, holidays, graduations, and sharing their families and possible grandchildren. Goodbye to the dreams we’d promised of growing old together and caring for each other. Being there for each other through the good times and not so good times. Goodbye to dreaming about our future. Remind him that you’ll be okay. You’re strong and this experience has made you stronger. As a mother and a woman you are stronger. I wrote the letter with as much love as I could muster. I deserved that. I no longer gave him permission to consume my thoughts, my tears, my dreams and my hopes for my future. You are right where you’re supposed to be. Bless you and your son. 🙏💕💐
Goodbye to the mask slipping, jealous rages, ignoring your feelings, abuse.
Load More Replies...The woman who my wife's ex-husband cheated on her with got cheated on herself years later and tried to reach out to my wife as if they were now in the same boat. B***h, you f****d around and found out! Y'all are not the same. Good on this woman for having the strength to write this letter.
When I read about the mask, and how it will come off and he will scream at the replacement, I hoped the OP realises one day, this girl did her a favour. She will have the wife’s life until he cheats on her too, and gets another replacement. If he wore a mask at the start then decided the real him was the one he should be every day, and the real him was a cheat and screamed at her, why would she want him? My second OH was like that and it’s a toxic relationship that the wife accepts but only because he’s trained her to accept it. It’s almost like Stockholm syndrome. If it was like that, I hope she recognises one day that she is deserving of someone who values her.
A person over 18 is legally (and morally, and ethically) responsible for what they do. At twenty, you may be immature, but you know damn well to tell the difference between right and wrong. She is not a child or a victim; she is an accomplice. It is *his* fault 100%, of course, but she knew what she was doing all the time. The thing is, she's marrying a cheater. One day she'll be the one who's betrayed. Cheers cheat. Once and again. She'll learn the hard way.
Oh my damn... My ex husband is now married to affair #2. They have two kids, he and I have one. Is it bad that while I would never EVER wish any heartbreak or harm to his children, our daughter included, I secretly wish for the day to hear he's screwing around on her now too?..
Consider, even better: She's screwing around on him.
Load More Replies...This will not help you now, I know. You still hold the reminance of the love you felt. But the silly little twit did you a favor: She Rid You Of A Selfish Cheater & Set You Free! He's HER Problem Now! 'Cuz Suzie Sorority is gonna get old fast....and he's gonna find him a 'nice' (read 'naive') 17YO.
I was thrown out at 18 1/2 by my delusional and mentally ill mother. I found a tiny studio apartment 10 weeks after but lived on a couch in a bad neighbourhood. A cow-orker took me in. The apartment was close to my GF's college and I gave her a key. Instead of studying there, she would take men to my bed. She got caught by a room mate, a friend of hers who ran from his home. Two nights later, I confronted her and broke up. She confessed saying, "It is YOUR FAULT! You are so good in bed and I need the sex when you are at work. Also her has a bigger organ than you. I am NOT small. I am very secure in my masculinity. So, she became a size queen. She cried to her pals and they sympathised with ME. They came to visit me for a year to comfort me. I win all the time
Jusr know your husband did you a big favour.. He is not worthy of you and I hope you find a man who respects you and loves you as you are...Wishing you well..I went through the same thing and kicked him out...and never looked back..I paid for the divorce and never looked back and never remarried!
Why don't wives, whose husband's are having affairs, look at themselves and ask why? You've changed you may have had children he may not have wanted them, you've stopped making an effort, someone else does, your conversations are boring, he wants the excitement back. Been with husband 27 years, he's never wandered off with anyone else as neither one of us has changed. He is my world, as I am his, we laugh, cry, get drunk and party like we used to, it just takes longer to recover. If he is looking elsewhere, you're the problem.
Look obviously someone who is 18-20 knows right or wrong. The problem is that a 38yr old with power over this child - 18 years old is still a teenager and child despite the law. She was groomed by this man and he held power over her. It's the husbands fault for being a creep and seemed like saved her a lot of heartache because he likes them young and will do this again.
Monitoring someone's phone, while ethically complex, may be deemed necessary for security or peace of mind in specific situations. This could apply to partners concerned about suspicious activities or parents wanting to ensure their child's safety. To navigate this process discreetly, it is recommended to consult with a technology expert. One such resource is Marie Consultancy, who can provide guidance on how to approach phone monitoring effectively. Contact Marie at her mail, MARIECONSULTANCYOZ@GMAIL.COM, or reach out via her Instagram account, MARIE_CONSULTANCY.







































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