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Lady Walks Out Of Marriage After 47YO Man Has Affair With 22YO, Expects Her To Care For Affair Baby
When life hands you a cheating husband and his surprise baby, you might just have to call in the reinforcements. While dealing with infidelity is never easy, when an unexpected kid enters the picture, things can quickly take a dark turn. Sometimes, setting boundaries and taking drastic measures are the only ways to restore order in a chaotic situation. It’s about prioritizing yourself and your own peace, even if it means making some tough decisions.
This is exactly what the protagonist of our story, a 53-year-old woman, had to deal with when her husband cheated on her with a much younger woman.
More info: Reddit
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Man cheats on his wife with a younger woman, has a baby with her and brings it home where he lives with his wife, after the mistress leaves him
Image credits: Laura Garcia (not the actual photo)
The wife forgives the man’s affair but doesn’t want anything to do with his baby, although she allows her husband to bring it home
Image credits: Parking_Marzipan1717
The husband has a heart attack and is left unable to take care of the child, which forces his wife to take care of it
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Parking_Marzipan1717
Image credits: Marcell Pálmai (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Parking_Marzipan1717
The wife has enough of taking care of her husband’s mistress’s baby, calls her parents to take it and leaves her husband
The original poster of this story is a woman (let’s call her Anna) who found herself in a real-life soap opera, complete with a young girlfriend, a disappearing act, and topped off with a baby dropped right at her doorstep.
Anna has been through the wringer. She was married to Roger, a 47-year-old man who, despite his flaws, she tried to forgive after he had an affair with a much younger woman. The affair resulted in a baby, and Roger’s girlfriend, unable to deal with the situation, left the baby at his workplace and vanished to Spain. Roger, with nowhere else to turn, brought the baby home.
For 4 months, Anna allowed Roger and his baby to stay in their home, with one strict condition: she wasn’t going to lift a finger to help. She had already raised her own kids and had no intention of starting over. Plus, with no grandkids on the way, Anna was ready to enjoy her life, not put it on hold to take care of a kid.
But just when things seemed peachy, life threw Anna another curveball. Her husband, Roger, suffered a heart attack that left him weak and unable to care for his baby. This unexpected health crisis meant Anna had to step in more than she ever wanted to. This was definitely not what she had signed up for.
After a month of stepping up, she reached her breaking point. She decided it was time for a divorce and contacted the baby’s maternal grandparents, giving them an ultimatum: either they would pick up the baby or she would call Child Protective Services (CPS). The grandparents eventually took the child but not before scolding Anna and accusing her of being heartless.
Anna’s grown children thought that their mom was being too harsh. They asked her to stay and help their dad, who was still recovering from the heart attack. Anna had a counteroffer for her adult kids: they could go over to their house and take care of their dad and his kid. Unsurprisingly, they declined, and we can’t blame them.
The woman’s kids and friends don’t agree with her, saying that she is too harsh for leaving her sick husband and not taking care of the innocent child
Image credits: Jakob Owens (not the actual photo)
Anna already showed a lot of patience by allowing Roger and his baby to stay in their house. When his health declined, she stepped up temporarily, but she made it clear that this wasn’t her responsibility. Her grown children, despite their opinions, weren’t willing to help either.
Research shows that unclear boundaries can lead to less healthy lifestyles, decreased levels of happiness, and an increased likelihood of family conflict. Setting clear boundaries from the beginning is essential in fostering mutual understanding and reducing emotional confusion and stress. When everyone involved knows their role upfront, it minimizes the potential for hurt and frustration to arise later on.
Financially, our protagonist is in a solid position. She has saved up the equivalent of twenty-two years of rent and interest and had a prenup that kept her savings intact. This financial independence gives her the freedom to leave without looking back at the cheating husband and his baby.
According to experts, “infidelity can happen in all kinds of marriages. That includes marriages that seem happy, as well as those with many problems. Infidelity may happen due to a variety of factors, including lack of affection, loss of love and care for each other, weak commitment to the relationship or low self-esteem.”
Although recovering from an affair can be one of the most challenging things a married couple can go through, there are a few steps they can take to help the healing. Instead of making a rash decision to either end the marriage or continue, the couple should “take the time to heal and understand what was behind the affair,” experts explain. Sometimes, seeking help from a marriage counselor experienced in dealing with infidelity may be just what couples need in order to move on and rebuild their relationship.
So, is Anna the jerk? Was it harsh to give an ultimatum involving CPS? Maybe. But, we have to consider the context here: a woman cheated on by her husband has been forced to take care of a child from an affair, and left to manage a household when the husband was incapacitated.
What do you think? Was she justified in her actions, or did she go too far? Drop your thoughts in the comments.
People in the comments noted that the woman was not a jerk for leaving her husband and his baby, saying that the child was not her responsibility
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What do you think ?
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago
What is the logic here? That since the baby was abandoned at her house it has squatters rights? Hilarious
sheshark 1 year ago
Kelly's comment makes me realize that people commenting here probably got kicked off AITA for not taking the story at face value or staying on topic. Kelly, honey, its not about what you think they should have done in the past about the situation, thats not constructive in anyway nor does it address the question, which would be called "acting in bad faith" on the sub. Joey: no joke! Everybody in that situation is really expecting OP to just smile and pretend her WHOLE FAMILY just said she doesn't deserve to be anything else than the role they expect her to play, that she's not allowed to be a whole person, just a caregiver
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Janelle Collard 1 year ago
OP's hubs is lucky she cared for him with his medical condition. I would've moved out + told my kids to deal with him as I'm divorcing him. Oh yeah, + care for their new step-sib also.
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago (edited)
Half sibling, not step. They are related through their father.
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TheElderNom 1 year ago
Even if she took care of the baby I feel like it would end one of two ways, neither good. She developes maternal feelings for the kid but has no legal rights to the child at all. Or she is full of resentment which can't he good for the kid even she'd try to hide it.
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
NTA. Since the baby’s grandparents raised a horrible person who just dumped their baby and ran, then it’s up to them to raise their grandchild,. It is no way OPs responsibility to raise her ex-husband’s affair baby.
UpupaEpops 1 year ago (edited)
That being said, I got my degree as an adult and let me tell you the 22-year-olds had the maturity of a 15-16 year-old. What the absolute f**k is a 53-year-old doing knocking up someone young enough to be his child? Especially when his other children should be around her age. Was he grooming that girl? And for how long has this been going on? She might have been a massive c**t but I'm kind of worried for her as well.
Hodge Elmwood 1 year ago
I'm not. 22 is an adult. She chose to sleep with a married man. Like it or not, plenty of women make that kind of poor choice all on their own, no grooming needed. If she didn't want to keep the child, giving it up for adoption was always a choice, but her little romantic bubble burst and she just noped out of her child's life. No sympathy.
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Upstaged75 1 year ago
WTF is wrong with her kids? They wouldn't even help take care of their own father but they think their mom should raise her husband's affair baby? That's insane! Personally I'd cut out anyone who didn't support me 100%
Milena B. G. Rosa 1 year ago
Probably trying to lay the way so they can dump their own future children to be raised by their mom... After all, if she raised the affair child she could raise her grandchildren
Load More Replies... karen snyder 1 year ago
OP should have moved out the minute that baby came through the door. Why didn't cheating husband demand that the grandparents take it from the start? How and why the kid was born in the first place is a mystery to me. It's called a condom, Mr D**k-for-Brains. This idiot's mid-life sexual urges will now f**k-up 8 people's lives: wife's, lover's, her parent's, his kid's, the baby's and his own. I hope she slams his d**k in the sliding glass door on the way out.
Sunny Day 1 year ago
"...he didn't die, more's the pity" -- I think there's less forgiveness there than OP claims. Technically her kids are the baby's closest relatives next to Roger, not the mom's parents. So maybe they should take custody whole dad recovers. It IS their sibling, after all. How could you turn your back on a sibling??
Judy Takács 1 year ago
You gave the baby to its grandparents! That's not abandoning the baby, its making sure it has a loving home with family! And, you're freeing your husband to marry the 22 year old and make his own loving home for the baby for as long as he lives! And the 22 year old is welcome to come home from Spain to take her motherly role in all this! If you had done the opposite and taken charge of the baby, loved it, kept it and tried to raise it as your own, you would absolutely surely be legally bound to "give it back" at some point…whenever the parties involved decide to step up and take some responsibility.And you would be heartbroken…yet again, like you were when your husband cheated on you. Move on and don't look back. You're terrific and deserve good things!
Tanya Loewen-Watson 1 year ago
Girls parents are only mad cause they don’t want the responsibility of the kid either and are actually mad at their irresponsible daughter and mad at themselves for raising her as such…
Steve Hall 1 year ago
That seems like a flakely bunch of fools to even dream this woman would take care of his affair baby.
TheReader19 1 year ago (edited)
Unlike OP, I'm glad her bastard husband didn't die, the sack of s**t needs to suffer. Her kids are telling her to stay with the dad because they don't want the burden of helping him out; he lost the privilege of OP doing this the day he first cheated. Furthermore; she's a saint for taking care of the baby for as long as she did.
Natasha Clark 1 year ago
I stopped at forgave the affair, you should've left as soon as you found out he cheated. Besides bringing home a bastard... it could've been an STD too. 🤭
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
Not her kid, not her problem. If the baby’s grandparents are so concerned, they can give the baby back to its mother, the one who abandoned her own kid to party in Spain. The OP is NTA.
Alvena Ferreira 1 year ago
Bravo to the woman who declined to raise the fruits of his unfaithfulness. He obviously was thinking only of his little brain and not his real brain when he knocked up his girlfriend.
catherine Jackie 1 year ago
The wife of the guy she cheated with should take care of the baby? They are the Grandparents!
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
YTA. Not for refusing to care for Roger and the baby but for not divorcing him when he moved the baby in. Having nothing to do with the baby was never going to work and you should have divorced long ago.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
Poor baby, poor wife. So her kids wanted to their mother to look after a baby she'd known nothing about and was not related to her because He had an affair... But they weren't willing to look after their dad OR their baby half sibling. The baby IS related to them by blood but only related via an arsehole to the wife.... 🤦🏻♀️
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
That kid's not OP's responsibility. Maybe his new 1/2 sibs can take care of him. :)
Ivy at Eve 1 year ago
The child is indeed innocent but that doesn't automatically make OP responsible for its care. There are enough other people: the child has a mother, has maternal grandparents and half siblings. All of them (except the grandparents) happy to acknowledge the needs of the child and equally happy to assign responsibility to someone not related "because it is the decent thing". Grandparents the same except they did take the child (but still feel it is not their responsibility)... How to become the bad guy...
The Cool Grandma 1 year ago
NTA. OP needed to redirect everyone to make their comments/complaints to the bio mother. PERIOD!
Aija Nabours 1 year ago
She may end up having to pay alimony because her ex can't work or care for himself
Leesa DeAndrea 1 year ago
So the dad spent a few months taking care of HIS baby and had a heart attack. Guess he found out child care is not the easiest job. I fail to understand why her family thinks it is her responsibility to take care of her ex's baby. That's nuts!
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
omg, she was a saint to begin with-- 1. for forgiving the affair; 2. for agreeing to him even having the baby in your home (yes, the baby is innocent, but so was she); 3. for taking care of the proof of the husband's affair, even if for only a short time. NTA--not your resposibility & I'm seriously wondering why she stayed as long as she did! Her grown children, her husband, the little tramp that abandonned her baby AND her parents ALL ATA
Kate Johnson 1 year ago
With the kids, "I no longer have any obligation to your father. He broke his vows and humiliated me and I am divorcing him, leaving me absolutely off the hook in every way when it comes to his welfare. However, he is still your father and that is your sibling, so I suggest you start adjusting your life to care for them both. They are far more YOUR responsibility than mine, and you'd better believe, regardless of any guilt tripping on your part, that I will not be carrying that load for you. It's yours alone."
Emily Langlois 1 year ago
I personally love babies so I accept and have understanding to how OP feels, though personally, I would divorce hubby, and legally adopt his kid and raise baby myself and if her other kids want to take care of their Dad, they can. That way, if the 22 grows up after she’s finished “having fun,” and tries to come back, you can make it 100% no contact
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago
What is the logic here? That since the baby was abandoned at her house it has squatters rights? Hilarious
sheshark 1 year ago
Kelly's comment makes me realize that people commenting here probably got kicked off AITA for not taking the story at face value or staying on topic. Kelly, honey, its not about what you think they should have done in the past about the situation, thats not constructive in anyway nor does it address the question, which would be called "acting in bad faith" on the sub. Joey: no joke! Everybody in that situation is really expecting OP to just smile and pretend her WHOLE FAMILY just said she doesn't deserve to be anything else than the role they expect her to play, that she's not allowed to be a whole person, just a caregiver
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 1 year ago
OP's hubs is lucky she cared for him with his medical condition. I would've moved out + told my kids to deal with him as I'm divorcing him. Oh yeah, + care for their new step-sib also.
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago (edited)
Half sibling, not step. They are related through their father.
Load More Replies... TheElderNom 1 year ago
Even if she took care of the baby I feel like it would end one of two ways, neither good. She developes maternal feelings for the kid but has no legal rights to the child at all. Or she is full of resentment which can't he good for the kid even she'd try to hide it.
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
NTA. Since the baby’s grandparents raised a horrible person who just dumped their baby and ran, then it’s up to them to raise their grandchild,. It is no way OPs responsibility to raise her ex-husband’s affair baby.
UpupaEpops 1 year ago (edited)
That being said, I got my degree as an adult and let me tell you the 22-year-olds had the maturity of a 15-16 year-old. What the absolute f**k is a 53-year-old doing knocking up someone young enough to be his child? Especially when his other children should be around her age. Was he grooming that girl? And for how long has this been going on? She might have been a massive c**t but I'm kind of worried for her as well.
Hodge Elmwood 1 year ago
I'm not. 22 is an adult. She chose to sleep with a married man. Like it or not, plenty of women make that kind of poor choice all on their own, no grooming needed. If she didn't want to keep the child, giving it up for adoption was always a choice, but her little romantic bubble burst and she just noped out of her child's life. No sympathy.
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 1 year ago
WTF is wrong with her kids? They wouldn't even help take care of their own father but they think their mom should raise her husband's affair baby? That's insane! Personally I'd cut out anyone who didn't support me 100%
Milena B. G. Rosa 1 year ago
Probably trying to lay the way so they can dump their own future children to be raised by their mom... After all, if she raised the affair child she could raise her grandchildren
Load More Replies... karen snyder 1 year ago
OP should have moved out the minute that baby came through the door. Why didn't cheating husband demand that the grandparents take it from the start? How and why the kid was born in the first place is a mystery to me. It's called a condom, Mr D**k-for-Brains. This idiot's mid-life sexual urges will now f**k-up 8 people's lives: wife's, lover's, her parent's, his kid's, the baby's and his own. I hope she slams his d**k in the sliding glass door on the way out.
Sunny Day 1 year ago
"...he didn't die, more's the pity" -- I think there's less forgiveness there than OP claims. Technically her kids are the baby's closest relatives next to Roger, not the mom's parents. So maybe they should take custody whole dad recovers. It IS their sibling, after all. How could you turn your back on a sibling??
Judy Takács 1 year ago
You gave the baby to its grandparents! That's not abandoning the baby, its making sure it has a loving home with family! And, you're freeing your husband to marry the 22 year old and make his own loving home for the baby for as long as he lives! And the 22 year old is welcome to come home from Spain to take her motherly role in all this! If you had done the opposite and taken charge of the baby, loved it, kept it and tried to raise it as your own, you would absolutely surely be legally bound to "give it back" at some point…whenever the parties involved decide to step up and take some responsibility.And you would be heartbroken…yet again, like you were when your husband cheated on you. Move on and don't look back. You're terrific and deserve good things!
Tanya Loewen-Watson 1 year ago
Girls parents are only mad cause they don’t want the responsibility of the kid either and are actually mad at their irresponsible daughter and mad at themselves for raising her as such…
Steve Hall 1 year ago
That seems like a flakely bunch of fools to even dream this woman would take care of his affair baby.
TheReader19 1 year ago (edited)
Unlike OP, I'm glad her bastard husband didn't die, the sack of s**t needs to suffer. Her kids are telling her to stay with the dad because they don't want the burden of helping him out; he lost the privilege of OP doing this the day he first cheated. Furthermore; she's a saint for taking care of the baby for as long as she did.
Natasha Clark 1 year ago
I stopped at forgave the affair, you should've left as soon as you found out he cheated. Besides bringing home a bastard... it could've been an STD too. 🤭
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
Not her kid, not her problem. If the baby’s grandparents are so concerned, they can give the baby back to its mother, the one who abandoned her own kid to party in Spain. The OP is NTA.
Alvena Ferreira 1 year ago
Bravo to the woman who declined to raise the fruits of his unfaithfulness. He obviously was thinking only of his little brain and not his real brain when he knocked up his girlfriend.
catherine Jackie 1 year ago
The wife of the guy she cheated with should take care of the baby? They are the Grandparents!
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
YTA. Not for refusing to care for Roger and the baby but for not divorcing him when he moved the baby in. Having nothing to do with the baby was never going to work and you should have divorced long ago.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
Poor baby, poor wife. So her kids wanted to their mother to look after a baby she'd known nothing about and was not related to her because He had an affair... But they weren't willing to look after their dad OR their baby half sibling. The baby IS related to them by blood but only related via an arsehole to the wife.... 🤦🏻♀️
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
That kid's not OP's responsibility. Maybe his new 1/2 sibs can take care of him. :)
Ivy at Eve 1 year ago
The child is indeed innocent but that doesn't automatically make OP responsible for its care. There are enough other people: the child has a mother, has maternal grandparents and half siblings. All of them (except the grandparents) happy to acknowledge the needs of the child and equally happy to assign responsibility to someone not related "because it is the decent thing". Grandparents the same except they did take the child (but still feel it is not their responsibility)... How to become the bad guy...
The Cool Grandma 1 year ago
NTA. OP needed to redirect everyone to make their comments/complaints to the bio mother. PERIOD!
Aija Nabours 1 year ago
She may end up having to pay alimony because her ex can't work or care for himself
Leesa DeAndrea 1 year ago
So the dad spent a few months taking care of HIS baby and had a heart attack. Guess he found out child care is not the easiest job. I fail to understand why her family thinks it is her responsibility to take care of her ex's baby. That's nuts!
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
omg, she was a saint to begin with-- 1. for forgiving the affair; 2. for agreeing to him even having the baby in your home (yes, the baby is innocent, but so was she); 3. for taking care of the proof of the husband's affair, even if for only a short time. NTA--not your resposibility & I'm seriously wondering why she stayed as long as she did! Her grown children, her husband, the little tramp that abandonned her baby AND her parents ALL ATA
Kate Johnson 1 year ago
With the kids, "I no longer have any obligation to your father. He broke his vows and humiliated me and I am divorcing him, leaving me absolutely off the hook in every way when it comes to his welfare. However, he is still your father and that is your sibling, so I suggest you start adjusting your life to care for them both. They are far more YOUR responsibility than mine, and you'd better believe, regardless of any guilt tripping on your part, that I will not be carrying that load for you. It's yours alone."
Emily Langlois 1 year ago
I personally love babies so I accept and have understanding to how OP feels, though personally, I would divorce hubby, and legally adopt his kid and raise baby myself and if her other kids want to take care of their Dad, they can. That way, if the 22 grows up after she’s finished “having fun,” and tries to come back, you can make it 100% no contact
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