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People Share 35 Comments From Little Kids That Seemed So Innocent To Them But Stunned The Adults
What a strange thing education is after all. We are all taught from our childhood that we should always tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, but the older we get, the more we understand that these are nothing more than conventions, and that the truth can sometimes hurt. Hurt worse than some weapons.
In fact, to be honest, the most truthful age in our lives is early childhood, when we have already learned to speak meaningfully, but have not yet learned to hide our thoughts behind a veil of hints and omissions. And in this viral thread in the AskReddit community, adults are opening up about the most brutal yet honest (or honest yet brutal) things they've ever heard from their own or others' kids.
More info: Reddit
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#1
My father is a sober alcoholic. The binge drinker kind where he could go months sober and then drink his head off for weeks. He always was seeking to form "father/child" moments with me when drunk, often ending with me crying. During one of these times, when I was a teenager, I turned it around on him and held a long monologue, detailing very carefully how he was making me feel, how he was pushing me away. How I feared for my little brother if he were to see him do this. Asking him why he delighted so in hurting me. Ruthlessly, brutally in a calm tone of voice just detailing it all and ending it with "I've had enough. I will not say a single word to you if you even had just as little as a glas of beer."
He was silent for a long while, then stood up and left without a single word. And that is the last time he drank, he went to get help and have now been sober for almost 20 years. He says it is the most brutal, and most needed thing anyone has ever said to him.
Tams21 2 years ago
Sometimes love is sweet and cuddly, sometimes love is brutal and unkind. But both kinds of love are a gift.
The Deez 2 years ago
While it's not nearly as dramatic as this story, my husband got sober five and a half years ago when, after about 15 years of him drinking on the sly, I said, "I won't divorce you but, if you want to drink, you'll have to go live somewhere else. You're not going to stay here and pretend to be a father and a husband and keep drinking."
Robert Trebor 2 years ago
So sad that no adult in that man's life cared enough to be that brutal with him. Tough that a teenager had to do it. But I'm glad it worked.
Matthew Barabas 2 years ago
the fact that he had to be told this by a teenager shows how unintelligent the father is.
RELATED:
#2
I work at an after school program with kids aged 5-12. I had recently had a miscarriage and told the kids I was no longer pregnant because they were excited about me giving birth in the future. I tried to let them know that "my baby stopped growing and it passed away in my tummy." Some of them were pretty bummed out after hearing the news. When I was leaving at the end of the day, I was saying bye to a few of them and one of the second graders who adores me yelled out "Sorry again about your dead baby!" For some reason it made me laugh instead of any other emotion. After so much crying from the actual miscarriage, I started cracking up and just said thank you.
Carolyn Lively 2 years ago
It's been said that if you can laugh at it, you can live with it. Took me a while to apply this to my life, but when I did, I found that having a sense of humor will get me through rough patches in life.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
100% My dads motto was “never lose your sense of humor,” and to his credit, he lived up to that motto even when in hospice for cancer. It’s now a lesson I look forward to trying to teach my kid by living and laughing it up as much as I can.
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Paul Navarrete 2 years ago
My dad died of a heart attack at 49. I was devastated. The church where his funeral was held had a school attached and they pulled two kids in to assist the priest. I assume the thin robes (for lack of a better word) work on a Sunday where the kids probably wear a white dress shirt for church. But on this weekday the kids were wearing normal clothes. So while I stood next to the casket as a pall bearer, I watched a portly young boy walk towards me with a bright yellow tshirt clearly visible under the robe with a print that made his entire torso into Spongebob's goofy face. I was too upset to laugh, but it was one of the funniest unintentionally funny things I have every seen.
Christy Wilkison 2 years ago
Cont So funny I couldn't stop laughing cause I was thinking of how mortified this teacher would be to know this got sent. I made a point to make them promise not to tell her...but tell her how much they meant to us and made our day better.
Christy Wilkison 2 years ago
So true! I taught high school where my daughter attended 2nd grade. When her step-father, my husband was in a fatal car wreck during which one of his feet was severed and he was thrown far from the truck he was I'm. Horrible, as you can imagine, especially with a new baby at home. After about a week spend in the ICU with my husband, the principal and a friend came to visit and brought handmade cards from my daughter's class. Going through them was...sad...but hard, ya know? I was a wreck...my daughter too...anyway, about halfway through them I find a young gentleman's card--depicting in graphic horrible detail-- the truck and semi crashed together and my beloved husband flying thru the air with blood and gore...his severed foot flying separately off to the side. I was just...no words. My family, daughter, nurses, my principal and co-worker were just quiet then the principal started talking real fast like "omg I'm so sorry...I guess people have been talking..." And then it
#3
Last Thursday, after I had a particularly stressful day at work, my 7-year-old said,
"The only job that matters to me is being my dad and you're awesome at it. And if mommy leaves you for another dad, I will always tell the new dad that my old dad was my favorite dad."
"Thanks. I love you. Where's your mom?"
One of the figures of old Hollywood once said... by the way, here you can see one more difference between a child and an adult. I, as an adult, came up with an equivocal wording that allowed me and my memory to keep a straight face to a certain extent, and a kid would simply say something like “I just don’t remember who said that!” So, I don’t remember who said it, but they said that 'it's impossible to outplay kids and animals as they live on set and don't play.' And you know what? This is damn fair - after all, while the adult actors are getting used to the role, the children are just living there.
#4
Kid: Daddy why don't you have boobs.
Me: boys don't have boobs.
Kid: why does uncle John have boobs.
Der Kommissar 2 years ago
You can milk anything that has nipples I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
Noname 2 years ago
Actually... Men can lactate (produce milk) Hypothyroidism, a pituitary tumor, certain liver problems, some medications, and feminizing hormone therapy can potentially induce lactation in men. Do men have milk ducts? Yes, men have milk ducts.
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TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Sweet child lmao. I'm sure this was brought up every future family get together lol
glowworm2 2 years ago
Uncle John most likely has "Moobs", Man boobs. Those usually occur in overweight men.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Why DO men have boobs (or nipples at least)? What f*cking purpose do they serve? Can you just spontaneously take over the whole breastfeeding thing? What? WHAT???
#5
My 5 year-old-granddaughter knew the speed dial number on my daughter's phone. Without my daughter's knowledge, my granddaughter called me and left the following message. "Grandma, you are so very, very, very, very pretty, but you're old and you might die. At the end of her message, I heard my daughter yell, "who are you talking to!?" Granddaughter quickly said, "I love you grandma. Bye." Click. I was 50 at the time.
TheElderNom 2 years ago
When I was I think four I hugged my grandfather tightly and told him that he'd die soon but not to worry, I'd make certain he got buried. Thankfully he lived for more than twenty years after that and he had a lovely funeral, though I can't take any credit for it. But I would have if needed.
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Lord of the laserprinter. 2 years ago
Like my six year old granddaughter…. Me rocking and bopping to Iron Butterfly…. “Granddad’s listening to old peoples music again!”
#6
Not to me but to a friend who is a smoker. She was coughing alot due to a cold and being a smoker. Child was 3 at the time. He looks at her and says, " you are going to die." We all looked shocked and i tell him thats not nice to say to people. My friend however replies, " well then am i going to heaven or hell? And he says, " just go to a doctor."
Almarako94 2 years ago (edited)
The senses of kid aren't so worn down / trained in ignoring them. Sometimes they "know" why they say that to someone.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
Kids sometimes have more common sense than a lot of adults I know lol
By the way, this was noticed long before the advent of cinema - remember the great fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen - The Emperor’s New Clothes? While all the courtiers were trying their best to flatter their monarch, who was being deceived by clever swindlers allegedly 'inventing' invisible fabric, a random little boy in the crowd, not fearing the consequences, just shouted: 'Hey, the emperor is naked!' By the way, this is probably the best example from world culture of kids being honest yet brutal at the same time.
#7
Years ago, I brought my then-girlfriend to my parents vacation house for the first time & introduced her to my entire family.
I was grabbing a beer out of our little fridge in the garage when out of nowhere my 8 year old nephew says "She is way too good for you, Uncle Flip". I just stared at him & he just laughed.
I married her, we are happy, but he still was not wrong.
#8
So while my wife and I were living in her parents guest house, we'd see her niece and nephew visit a lot.
One day, I got fired from my job. And for a while after, the kids would wonder why I was home during the day.
My niece comes up to the guest house door.
**Niece: hey uncle? How come you're not at work?**
Me: I already told you, I got fired. That means they let me go and don't want me to come back to work.
**Niece: Oh...**
-nephew comes up-
*Nephew: HEY UNCLE WHY ARE YOU HOME ALL THE TIME NOW?*
**Niece: He did a bad job, so now they don't want him to go to work**
*Nephew: Why? Is he stupid?*
Me: .....
-both kids wander off without letting me explain further-
Th-thanks kids. My self esteem needed that
**edit:** so im getting questions on why I was fired.
I was working as a stocker at a big-box store at the time. I was under a lot of stress at the time, from college and family and work and etc etc...
Well. One day it all just kinda exploded. I had this super aggressive breakdown where I was throwing merchandise, breaking things. I took a tire iron (still i the package) and tried to smash a few boxes in the back room.
It was bad. Im not proud of it. But sure enough, it got seen and I was let go pretty quick. And the thing is? It all got set off because I couldn't find the right spot on the shelf for some item in the auto department.
So when my nephew said, **"is he stupid?"** that actually hurt. Because I felt really goddamn stupid for losing my temper so hard.
Paul Brown 2 years ago
I use to have angry outbursts and would holler and break stuff. Didn't know why I was so angry. About 15 years ago, im 67 now, my Mom suggested that I was depressed and that was causing my outbursts. Long story short, took her advice, saw a shrink, prescribed anti- depressants and my life totally transformed. I still get upset at times but haven't had a violent outburst since. Its nothing to be ashamed about to ask for help.
#9
Was having a father-daughter moment with my then 6 year old. She was worried about something but was struggling to open up to me. Eventually she did.
Me: you can always talk to me about anything. I'll always be there for you. Even when you're all grown up.
She: if you're still alive.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Ohhh I did this when I was little sort of. I had just learned the concept of death, and I almost passed out crying thinking my parents were about to die. All they could do was face palm I'm sure lol
Duck Syone 2 years ago
I had to talk to a kid about mortality recently cause he was worrying about how everyone was going to die one day. I told him it's better to enjoy the time you have with people while you have it instead of worrying when they will be gone.
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MarsFKA 2 years ago
Youngest granddaughter has a little butterfly toy that shoots spring-loaded darts and when she was visiting last night, fired one on top of the cupboard above the fridge. I climbed on a stool, looking for it and decided that it had fallen down behind the fridge. She and I got a torch and got down on our hands and knees, looking under the fridge, and all we could see was more than three years worth of stuff that accumulates under a fridge that's too heavy to move. YG: "Leave it under there until you have to clean it when you sell the house." Grandad: "We're not selling this house! We're here forever!" YG: "Not after you die!"
“In fact, there is nothing bad or reprehensible about kids being so brutally honest with adults,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “This is simply the child’s psyche as is, untouched by numerous conventions and rules invented by adults. It is then that the child will learn lies from adults, and the main motivation, alas, will be fear.”
"Fear of possible punishment, fear of doing something wrong, fear of upsetting parents, friends or acquaintances. Fear, desire to assert oneself, desire to be praised - and so we're saying something that is not what it really is, not what we see - but what 'needs to be said in this particular situation.' On the one hand, this is socialization and adaptation to human society. On the other hand, who and when will tell us the undisguised truth, except our own yesterday's toddlers?" Irina summarizes.
#10
Four-year-old nephew, setting the table for dinner -- looks at me and announces, "you get the big fork, because you're the fattest!" And then proceeds to set my place with the BBQ fork. Lol.
Princess Mar-li Cathryn 2 years ago
When I was 3 I apparently said to a family member "wow! You're fat!" (In my defense, he was like 400lbs). I'm 41 and my family has never let me forget it...
#11
"Your glasses are weird, what do you look like without them?" *takes them off* "Ew, put them back on"
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
The horror on my child's face when she saw me without a beard the very first time. Unfortunately I couldn't...put it back on...
Verbalocity 2 years ago
Same when my dad shaved his moustache. I didn't recognize him and started crying inconsolably.
Jeremy Bolanos 2 years ago
A little cousin told me I probably looked better without my glasses, so I took them off. She provided an entire TED talk on how that wasn't it.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
My sisters screamed and cried when my mother got a haircut. They were screaming at her to put her hair back on. Devils hahaha
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I weird the kids at work out each time they decide they want to see me without my glasses on. I personally think I look better without them, but it's the only way they have ever seen me. At least I work with older kids now, so when I dyed my hair recently they handled it much better than when I surprised my 3 year old class with a colour change!
#12
A couple weeks ago my fiance and I got into an argument and my 9 year old step daughter told me "you aren't the best boyfriend, but you are a really good dad." Simultaneously made me really proud and feel really s****y.
Brainmas 2 years ago
Sometimes kids give the best reality checks without even trying. They see everything.
Joe smith 2 years ago
And sometimes they just repeat what they have heard other adults say
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
The fact that you're already calling her your step daughter and you aren't married yet says a lot.
Yes, our own kids sometimes look incredibly funny while telling this naked truth straight to our faces. But you know what - sometimes it’s worth listening to this truth spoken by that thin voice, as who knows, maybe this is a reason to change something in yourself? Well, or at least laugh heartily at yourself, because self-irony is one of those wonderful feelings that develop in us over the years.
So now please feel free to scroll and read this selection of stories to the very end, and probably add your own tale for us to enjoy. After all it was once said that 'truth came out of the mouths of babes,' and it's one more absolute truth to be said...
#13
"Daddy, why do you have so many wives?" My 3 year old, Disney princess movie obsessed, daughter said to me. I was a single, 20 y.o. dad with full custody, so naturally she saw me go through a few different girlfriends. That was the moment I decided things were gonna change.
holly smethurst 2 years ago
Naturally? Glad you realised kids don’t need to meet boyfriends/girlfriends until it’s serious
R. McTavish 2 years ago
I go through a lot of girlfriends too, but I don't let any of them meet my kids. What I do in my off-hours is different from my home-life. Until I meet someone I plan to actually build a life with (or might at least try to), there's no reason for my kids to get involved.
#14
At the aquarium "wow daddy, that fish is even uglier than you."
Marcellus II 2 years ago
Well, more beautiful than you (the boy would say).
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#15
My dad is a hardass lawyer that always thinks he's right. One time we were gonna play tennis with a teacher and he couldn't come and got mad when I said I didn't want to go either then. I yelled at him that the only reason I play tennis is to play with him. He looked so shocked and never has pushed me to play tennis without him again. It's the one thing I remember my dad truly taking to heart and realizing tennis for me isn't really about the sport. Edit: my dad also dyed his hair for a long time and it always kind of looked purple in the sun. I told him a million times that it looked purple and he never believed me. One day at said tennis courts a little five year old walks up to him and asks "why is your hair purple?". He dyed it a different color the next day. We still laugh about it.
Maria B 2 years ago
I have purple hair - sometimes, when the mood strikes me:)
Load More Replies... Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Dad kind of sounds like a jerk but I'm glad he listened to what you had to say about the tennis. And he should have listened about the hair so serves him right
#16
"Your breath really stinks!" That was my daughter, and the last time I ever had a cigarette.
Walter Brameld 2 years ago
What the hell? Do smokers not realize they stink unless someone tells them? I thought it was common knowledge.
Malfar 2 years ago
More like, unless someone they value tells them. Bet if anyone else tells them their breath stinks they would just answer "if you can smell it, you're invading my personal space"
Load More Replies... Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
I could never quit until the day I found out I was pregnant. Never smoked again. I know this isn't how it works but I couldn't stop imagining my baby in a little bubble being filled with smoke and choking to death. I felt so guilty for smoking up until that day
Colleen Glim 2 years ago
I quit smoking almost 30 years ago. I can’t believe I used to smell like that when I serve customers that are smokers
#17
So this is actually something I said to my dad when I was the innocent age of four. Preface: my dad worked a lot, so I didn't spend that much time with him. Also, he was kind of a d**k. Dad: "who's your favorite daddy?" Me: "I like Heather's daddy." Dad: "But I'm your favorite, right?" Me: "No I like Heather's daddy." "Heather's daddy" is my uncle, and a great guy. Still makes me feel badly when I think about it. Adults can hurt your feelings, but kids can go straight for your soul.
#18
Not me, but a female friend of mine. See, we were at a kindergarten helping out, and this kid comes up to her and the following hilarious conversation ensues: >Kid: "Are you a girl?" >Friend: "Yeees..." >Kid: "So, do you have boobs, too?" >Friend: "Yes, I do." The little boy examines her head to toe, and then after some thinking follows up with: >"And where?" We nearly died laughing, with my friend having a small existential crisis about how flat-chested she apparently was. Children are so brutally honest.
Lost Penny 2 years ago
When I worked at Borders, we'd have Character Saturdays -- one of us would wear some character suit while the other would read stories about that character. One of those Saturdays, I was Arthur. After the storytime, I come out, start waiving to the kids, do silly little dances -- the whole nine yards. A little girl (maybe 4 or 5) runs towards me, gives me a huge hug, and then just kinda freezes for a second or two. Proceeds to turn her head & yell very loudly: "Mommy!!! Arthur has boobs!!!" Good times.
Oskar vanZandt 2 years ago
I once covered a kindergarten class in Canada because they couldn't get another supply teacher. Little boy: You're fatter than last time. I'd never met him before... 🤔 (If he could see me know, his statement would be correct)
AzzyIsHere (They/he xenos) 2 years ago
𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭
#19
I've been a bit short tempered lately (stress from work, expenses etc), but I thought I was keeping it under control. Today, while they were goofing around, my wife asked our 3 yr old son 'Is dada a cheeky monkey?' He said 'No, dada angry monkey.'
It's been a few hours since this happened, but I'm still feeling a mix of surprised, ashamed and sad.
Edit: Thanks for all the support and advice! I'm sorry I haven't replied to every comment, but there are a lot of them :p I do appreciate every one, though!
Fussy1 2 years ago
We all have our angry monkey days, try not to let them overshadow the best monkey ever days!
Andy Cran 2 years ago
anger and frustration are all valid emotions, unfortunately society only likes to see or understand the positive ones....it's ok to not be okay (I believe the mantra is )....it's how we express them in a healthy way that counts and not to repress them
Load More Replies... Colleen Glim 2 years ago (edited)
Nobody can be little merry sunshine all the time. Try not to be too hard on yourself
#20
I went to China to teach at an English summer camp. It was a month long experience, and during that time the children all got to pick American names. These ranged from Tommy to Robot.
One day the kids thought it would be fun to give me a Chinese name. The host teacher mentioned that my real name is very close to the Chinese word for beautiful, so I should take that as my name.
The kids all paused for a minute thinking about it, before one popped up and said, "Not so much beautiful, but still very nice."
Thanks kid.
Edit: [Bonus photo of our Halloween party.](http://imgur.com/gallery/bWVLy)
Edit 2: Yes, I'm the white person.
Edit 3: Thanks for all the love and subsequent ginger hatred.
Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
Lmao redheads just can't get a break no matter what era we're in.
#21
Me: Tell me a joke.
My 4 year old: You're a joke.
I had been reading a thread where everyone was sharing jokes they've been told by kids, and I was curious what my son would come up with. I expected something hilariously random. I got emotionally wrecked instead.
Not going to lie, I was pretty impressed.
Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
The harness of this response rest entirely on how much your 4 year old understood what that combination of words meant or if he was just repeating something he'd heard elsewhere.
afia kooma 2 years ago
"Look at that Nice car" "you're a car". Litteral conversation with a 4 year old. I can interchange what I "am" quite a bit, having worked in kindergarden
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holly smethurst 2 years ago
Me and my husband divorced when our 3rd child was 4. He was doing something stupid when he was 6 and I said is that a joke, his response ‘no it’s not your marriage’ 😂🙈🤦🏻♀️
#22
My 4yo said to my Portuguese wife who was pregnant at the time and hormones were all jacked up, "mommy why is your lip fuzzy." I never saw her leave that quickly for the salon.
She also said to me. "Daddy I like cuddling with you because you are soft and squishy like a bear." To the gym I go!!
holly smethurst 2 years ago
Ha ha I got really bad stretch marks with my 1st two children. I was heavily pregnant with #2 when number one caught me in the shower and ran downstairs to my MIL and excitedly announced. It’s OK that you’re mean to us cos my mummy is turning into a tiger and will eat you. 😂🤦🏻♀️
Andy Cran 2 years ago
what a selfish way to take away a child's joy with one's own vanity....being soft and squishy made her feel safe and secure
Linouchka 2 years ago
EXACTLY ! I said this very thing to my mom as a child, and I meant NOTHING but love and happiness by it, still do. I remember vividly the feeling of warmth and softness I had while cuddling her, my head on her tummy, it was HEAVEN. 🩷
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Mel Jackson 2 years ago
I used to say my Dad had a slumberland tummy - squishy & cuddly like the slumberland pillow 😁😁😁
#23
"Are you having a baby or just fat?"
I'm male.
Terry Tobias 2 years ago
I have a mug that says that! It has a drawing of a fluffy kitty on it. It's my favorite!
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Mark Fuller 2 years ago
In this screwed up world, being male no longer means you can't give birth. Apparently.
Mark Reaves 2 years ago
Lol I've had a kid ask if I was pregnant. I told them I was about 16 months pregnant. They gave me a priceless confused look. I can't help but wonder if they confused the heck out of their parents later. Yeah, I've been quite fat at times.
#24
my daughter has just started talking, pointed at a hippo at the zoo and said 'dada' and then smiled at her dada
Mel Jackson 2 years ago
My kid & niece were about 2 y/o and on a family trip to the zoo saw 2 chimps hugging each other and both shouted (really loud 😂) "Look, it's Dada!" their respective father's were pushing their strollers, and both blushed 😂😂😂 They also saw a huge orangutan and declared that it was their Uncle Danny (yes, he's ginger) and refused to accept anything else. 🤦♀️🤷♀️
Maria B 2 years ago
ok, totally OT- how do you add emojis in your comments? For reference, I am on PC - tia
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Snorkeldorf 2 years ago (edited)
My daughter was 3 and my brother-in-law and husband were watching a program when a preview for another show came on. Pavarotti was performing and at one point my daughter walked up to the TV and said excitedly, "Look! It's Uncle Pat!". Fortunately Uncle Pat wasn't there and he was large with a beard like Pavarotti.
#25
What's that ugly thing on your shoulders? Wait, it's just your head. I don't care if youre 8, you're not too young for a tombstone piledriver.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Bad idea. Tried that. Now the kid keeps telling me, "Man, I'm gonna be fat when I grow up."
Load More Replies... Fish Fingers 2 years ago (edited)
I used to jokingly threaten a friend's kid with 'Don't think I won't punch a baby!'.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
I'd throw in a Chokeslam too if kid was being too much of a wise-*ss (Kidding, kidding. Or am I...) XP
#26
"My sister is just using you to make her ex boyfriend jealous." Boy was that kid right too....
#27
Brat to my then pregnant wife: "Are you fat?" Minimally-embarrassed parent: "Jordan, is that how we talk?" Brat: "Sorry... Are you shaped like a ball?" I'll be paying for this later, kid. Thanks.
#28
I delivered mail for a period of time in 80s. I was about to put mail in the box and could hear a kid behind the door say, "Hey mom, the mailman is here and he's black!" I laughed.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Lol I can just picture this little kid peeping through the mail slot updating the mother on all the goings-on of the neighborhood
#29
A kid in a Cambodian orphanage came up to me and said simply "big boobs." I'm a man.
#30
I was in my early thirties and my 12 year-old daughter made a comment about me being an old man. I said "Hey, you're gonna be old someday too, you know," and she smirked and said "Yeah, but not today."
Whydoyoucare? She/her cis/les 2 years ago
Ha, this is funny because when I was 12 my dad was 50.
#31
Me (while visiting my sister and niece, and easing my bulk off the floor): "Ooh, I'm getting old." 5 year old niece: "I can see that." Ouch.
Jane Hower 2 years ago
Reminds me of the comment made by Churchill when a woman called him DRUNK: "“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
#32
"Your head looks like a shape."
Cut me deep, Benjamin. You cut me deep.
#33
you're fat. I replied "Thanks. And you're short."
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Once again: Bad idea. LIttle Joyke channels Winston Churchill! "Yeah, but I'm still growing." But no! Li'l Winston isn't through!! "Then again, so are you." (pats belly)
Rocky 2 years ago
Both here. Just got told, "you really sit " that close" up when you're driving". People, people.. is it really "that close" for me?? Haha
Hey! 2 years ago
I have a booster seat. It's really for my back but I like to call it my booster seat. LOL.
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Jodie Osborne 2 years ago
One time, our friends adopted daughter who was black and about 5 yrs old, asked me "why are you fat?" And I replied "why are you black?" She looked at me and nodded and went along her merry way. Sometimes simple things don't need a long explanation. We are who we are.
#34
A dead serious 3 year old little kid who straight up asked me "Why are you ugly?" No ill intent behind it, wasn't being mean. The little guy just wanted to know.
Sans Serif (Sans) 2 years ago
A few of these center around "ugly" I wonder what their criteria is? What is beauty to a 3 to 8 year old?
Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
Symmetry and/or resemblance to people they are comfortable and familiar with, in most cases. (Though this can definitely be skewed depending on what they watch and how adults around them talk about beauty standards). And in some cases it can just be a matter of clothes. (I've had second graders tell me I look like princess Belle when I wear my yellow dress, and while my hair is similar to Belle's, my body type is not, so it is nice to know kids don't always take that into account.)
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PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago (edited)
My fave was kinda recent, I draw my eyebrows on cos in my job depending on what character I am behind the camera or at an event, I need to have changeable and waterproof eyebrows - walked into Vinnies and some 4-5 yr old walks up and asks ‘excuse me, what’s wrong with your eyebrows?’ 😂 I just said they are drawn on, assuming he’s never seen drawn in brows before. They weren’t bad that day but I can see it would have been weird to a kid and other one I get a lot is ‘what grade are you in?’ Or variation of that 😆 I’m four foot 11
Jane Hower 2 years ago
When I was 3 my mom said I embarrassed her on the bus when I pointed to the bald man sitting in front of us and said!! "HE DOESN"T HAVE ANY HAIR"!! Kids are so damn honest.
#35
Standing with my two fat friends in grocery store. We are all fat. Kid comes around the corner in cart pushed by mom and exclaims "Mommy those guys are fat!" Mom looks us over and nods in approval. No f***s given.
Deborah B 2 years ago
"We don't say negative things about people's bodies. It's rude, and it can hurt their feelings."
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#36
Was waiting for my daughter to get her coat and boots on at daycare and another little girl walked up to me. She was probably about six. She told me her parents got a divorce so she was just like my daughter now. I nodded at her and then I got this gem.
"I get to go one week with my mommy and one week with my daddy. Today I go with my daddy. He has a new girlfriend and shes WAY WAY WAY more pretty than my mom. I wish my mom was as pretty as my daddy's girlfriend."
I just cringed.
der sebbl 2 years ago (edited)
We now nothing about why that relationship ended. Maybe they grew apart, maybe she left him for someone else, maybe he's the one who found someone new. So why so judgy?
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#37
When I was a kid the Spice Girls were huge and I was obsessed with them. Apparently on the radio they were talking about what an American Spice Girl would be called and came up with "Fat Ugly Spice" or something like that -- I have no recollection of this but my mom tells me that I got so excited and started freaking out saying something along the lines of "Mom, oh my god, you could be a Spice Girl!" She called her sister and cried for hours after that one.
EDIT: Sorry to be clear, it wasn't The Spice Girls saying this, it was an American morning show joking around (can't have my childhood heroes taking the heat!). Hoping my mom knew I was an idiot and didn't mean it!
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
I think it's understood that everything kids say shouldn't be taken to heart but man it still stings!
#38
I was about 16. Young kid (maybe 6 or 7) in front of me in church turns around, stares for three seconds, states, "you got a lot of pimples." Turns back around.
He was not wrong.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
She does have one large pimple. Kinda hard to notice though.
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Julie Schulz 2 years ago
One of my nieces asked me what all the spots on my chest were (I was wearing v-neck). How do you explain acne to a little kid?
cerinamroth 2 years ago
Depends on the age of the kid. My daughter is six and I would say I had a skin condition (I do, but not acne) so I have to take extra special care of my skin and sometimes it is sore. She usually gives me a big cuddle and says she doesn't like it when I have "auas".
Load More Replies... #39
My daddy's hair is going away, too.
[In my head] NOOOOOOO
AnnaRachelle 2 years ago
Only a few days ago,my 3 year old daughter looked at her daddy and asked,when did your hair blow away lol
#40
"I am this way because of you, so you're just going to have to deal with it"
My teenage daughter. Like hell I will.
#41
My nephew told me my breath smelled bad. I told him I was sure it did smell bad, since I hadn't eaten all day, but that he should avoid saying mean things even if they were true.
A different nephew once asked my cousin "Are you Jane? Or are you Anne?" She said "I'm Jane. Anne is my sister." The nephew responds "Oh, right. I remember. Anne is the one who's pretty."
#42
"Wanna play?"
"Sorry, I'm not feeling great today"
"Ugh, you're only sad because your girlfriend broke up with you!"
Thanks kid, you really helped me figure that one out.
#43
"Are you a kid or a grown up?"
I'm almost 30.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
As someone who's in her early 30s but still looks like a teenager, I've gotten a lot of funny comments and questions like this 😂
#44
While we were in a car, and I was enjoying music. "What's your favorite band?" I tell her "Can we listen to the exact opposite of that? Because I ***HATE*** ***EVERYTHING*** ***YOU*** ***LOVE***!" ripped my f*****g soul in half. Was my ex gfs 10 year old daughter.
Brainmas 2 years ago
While most 10 year olds are pretty cool, some of the meanest people I've even met were 10-11 year old girls. I worked at a school. It was brutal.
Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
Research shows, boys 10 to 14 are more likely to bully each other physically, while girls 10 to 14 are more likely to bully each other verbally. Experience says, middle school girls can be damn good at coming up with cutting remarks.
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Richard Michael 2 years ago
Honestly, as a child of a broken home, they were most likely acting out. I refused to accept my stepfather because my stepmother was such an evil witch. He had it rough. He was a good guy and didn't deserve it, but I was going through a lot.
#45
This wasn't said to me but when we were in a waiting room, my brother who was approximately 6 at the time said to an elderly woman, "You're gonna die sooner."
#46
I called up my daughter and the grandson came running to the phone, "Is that Am'ma?".
*phone is handed over*
"Hey, Am'ma, can you come over to my house right now?"
"No, honey, I have class tonight, then work tomorrow."
*hears phone moving*
"Just hang up on her" as he hands the phone back to his mom.
Edit: I am not Asian, Chinese, Hispanic, Filipino, Icelandic or Indian. Bible Belt American Grandma that is going to college, with a black mixed grandson that calls me Am'ma.
Lydsylou 2 years ago
Probably a lot of people assumed am'ma was a foreign language and wanted to know where she was from
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BlitheSpirit 2 years ago
Either one of my grandsons would get his a*s handed to him for that comment - my girls don’t mess around when it comes to respect 😂.
#47
I bought my niece a set of Disney Princess barbies. The next year I game back home to visit and she was missing one. Me: "Where's Ariel?" Her: "Oh. She had red hair."
Kangaroo Ratz 2 years ago
what is with the discrimination of people with red hair?!?!? theyre just ppl tf?
Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm 2 years ago
We're usually vampire or witches actually
Load More Replies... #48
"You look like Jack Black in Goosebumps!" -My son's friend who is no longer welcome in my house.
What do you think ?
DB 2 years ago
My dad told me that one time when we were at the beach a midget walked past us. Before he could stop me 4-year-old me asked the guy why he was so short. Without breaking his stride he told me it was because when he was my age he didn't eat his vegetables.
Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm 2 years ago
I just want to know how the guy reacted
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Elizabeth Deighton 2 years ago
I worked in a nursery ages 3-4. My hair was normally straight but in the morning, I had it permed and curly. One child told me that my hair was drunk. Another time a child asked why i wasn't wearing an apron whilst at the messy table and before I could answer said cos I was too fat. later that day, I told another child that I was so hot that I would melt. He replied yes and that would be a big puddle
Otto Katz 2 years ago
I was maybe 7. We grew up very very poor, 6 kids, dad worked, mom kept the house. Having hamburgers for supper one night, I pipe up, with a compliment for my mom "Hey, these burgers are almost as good as McDonalds!" I am sure Mom was crushed, Dad was not happy with me. Otoh, one night Dad was sitting in the living room in the dark on the sofa. Mom working 2nd shift at this point, I"m sitting on the stairs. I say something to Dad, he replies "I wish we never had you kids". So, now I'm crushed, and I will never get that out of my head no matter how old I get.
Christine 2 years ago
OttoKatz, it was a 1-second feeling that your dad had at the end of a very long day. And to a kid, "almost as good as McDonald's!" Is high praise indeed!
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Ayesha Aleena 2 years ago (edited)
My family and I travel to our native place every few months, but flights are quite expensive so we either travel by overnight buses or trains , so does anyone who comes to stay with us from our native place. Last year when my grandma passed away, my family and I traveled by plane to get there as fast as possible even though the last minute tickets burned a hole in the pocket. After the funeral, my tiny cousins keep bugging me with, "Did you enjoy the plane ride?" As they've never been on a plane before. I was too flustered to answer , so my mom does it for me instead "No honey, she was too sad to enjoy the ride" . Of course that was true .
Littlemiss 2 years ago
Got asked by a four year old if I could be her Mum and if she could call me Mum at school. Her parents are together, she even asked when I looked after them one night. I had to carefully explain that she has a Mum and she would be upset if I let her call me that too. She asked multiple times.
EVILtheCAT 2 years ago
That's so sad. Her mom must not have been a good one.
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SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
My kindergarten niece to her aunt, waiting in line in a small grocery store. In a loud voice: "Aunt Mary you do have really bib b**bs you know!"
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
One time my cousin (age 3) grabbed my bathing suit top at the pool and yelled "BOOBIES!!" I was 14 and mortified
Load More Replies... Julie Schulz 2 years ago
One of my nieces, when she was around 5, told a guy at church that she didn't like him after he said hello to her. She also told her Dad he needed to be on The Biggest Loser after seeing him without a shirt on. Thankfully, she grew up to be more tactful!
AzzyIsHere (They/he xenos) 2 years ago
𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 "𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲?" 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 "𝐍𝐨, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥." 𝐊𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 "𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲". 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐩𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲. 𝐀 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐲.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
My small nephew recently had it explained to him what death is (before then it was the standard "the dog had to go away". Or, as he sweetly put it, "the dog went to sleep in the sky"). Which is okay, fair enough, sooner or later you have to tell them, but few things are as chilling as having a three year old solemnly tell you "everyone dies". I ended up replying "Unfortunately, that's true"
shankShaw deReemer 2 years ago
When my grand nephew was about five, he asked me why my butt was so big. I told him it's because it runs in the family and he had one, too. He just nodded his head and went about his business. Thanks, TT!
DB 2 years ago
My dad told me that one time when we were at the beach a midget walked past us. Before he could stop me 4-year-old me asked the guy why he was so short. Without breaking his stride he told me it was because when he was my age he didn't eat his vegetables.
Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm 2 years ago
I just want to know how the guy reacted
Load More Replies... Elizabeth Deighton 2 years ago
I worked in a nursery ages 3-4. My hair was normally straight but in the morning, I had it permed and curly. One child told me that my hair was drunk. Another time a child asked why i wasn't wearing an apron whilst at the messy table and before I could answer said cos I was too fat. later that day, I told another child that I was so hot that I would melt. He replied yes and that would be a big puddle
Otto Katz 2 years ago
I was maybe 7. We grew up very very poor, 6 kids, dad worked, mom kept the house. Having hamburgers for supper one night, I pipe up, with a compliment for my mom "Hey, these burgers are almost as good as McDonalds!" I am sure Mom was crushed, Dad was not happy with me. Otoh, one night Dad was sitting in the living room in the dark on the sofa. Mom working 2nd shift at this point, I"m sitting on the stairs. I say something to Dad, he replies "I wish we never had you kids". So, now I'm crushed, and I will never get that out of my head no matter how old I get.
Christine 2 years ago
OttoKatz, it was a 1-second feeling that your dad had at the end of a very long day. And to a kid, "almost as good as McDonald's!" Is high praise indeed!
Load More Replies... Ayesha Aleena 2 years ago (edited)
My family and I travel to our native place every few months, but flights are quite expensive so we either travel by overnight buses or trains , so does anyone who comes to stay with us from our native place. Last year when my grandma passed away, my family and I traveled by plane to get there as fast as possible even though the last minute tickets burned a hole in the pocket. After the funeral, my tiny cousins keep bugging me with, "Did you enjoy the plane ride?" As they've never been on a plane before. I was too flustered to answer , so my mom does it for me instead "No honey, she was too sad to enjoy the ride" . Of course that was true .
Littlemiss 2 years ago
Got asked by a four year old if I could be her Mum and if she could call me Mum at school. Her parents are together, she even asked when I looked after them one night. I had to carefully explain that she has a Mum and she would be upset if I let her call me that too. She asked multiple times.
EVILtheCAT 2 years ago
That's so sad. Her mom must not have been a good one.
Load More Replies... SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
My kindergarten niece to her aunt, waiting in line in a small grocery store. In a loud voice: "Aunt Mary you do have really bib b**bs you know!"
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
One time my cousin (age 3) grabbed my bathing suit top at the pool and yelled "BOOBIES!!" I was 14 and mortified
Load More Replies... Julie Schulz 2 years ago
One of my nieces, when she was around 5, told a guy at church that she didn't like him after he said hello to her. She also told her Dad he needed to be on The Biggest Loser after seeing him without a shirt on. Thankfully, she grew up to be more tactful!
AzzyIsHere (They/he xenos) 2 years ago
𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 "𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲?" 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 "𝐍𝐨, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥." 𝐊𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 "𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲". 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐩𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲. 𝐀 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐲.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
My small nephew recently had it explained to him what death is (before then it was the standard "the dog had to go away". Or, as he sweetly put it, "the dog went to sleep in the sky"). Which is okay, fair enough, sooner or later you have to tell them, but few things are as chilling as having a three year old solemnly tell you "everyone dies". I ended up replying "Unfortunately, that's true"
shankShaw deReemer 2 years ago
When my grand nephew was about five, he asked me why my butt was so big. I told him it's because it runs in the family and he had one, too. He just nodded his head and went about his business. Thanks, TT!
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