happens a lot to me because of my ✨impulsivity✨
hey that rhymed-
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Not me, but someone in my class once blurted out, "Interracial couples are SO CUTE".
This other girl then proceeded to turn around in her seat and stare at my friend, who is, indeed, in an interracial relationship. That has to be one of my most favorite memories from this year.
hasnt everyone seriously contemplated the results of their death? *crickets*
oh, just me then?
I was working in a call centre at that time and was sleep deprived. Was speaking to this woman half asleep and said 'I will eat your son.' Realised after the words were out of my mouth. Immediately disconnected the call.
"I like eating dishwashers"
I can’t remember exactly, but a lot of weird things come out of my mouth when I’m with my sister lol. One is the speaking in tongues thing… gong hai choo treeka boconey.
One example of what I’ve said to my sister: “*hums Mii plaza tune* Bruce Lee had his armpit glands removed. I’m not weird, you’re just jealous of my enchilada. BARTHELEMEW, YOU WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE A BARTENDER.”
I am an 80 year old bald, fat transman. I walk up to young men and say, 'Hey, you're really cute. Do you want to come home with me and be my pool boy?" There is no way in hell they could take me seriously (and I'm not; I don't even have a pool). The responses are hilarious; one woman next to a guy said, "This one's taken but I'll keep an eye out for you." One young man just wandered off muttering, "I'm cute? I'm.... cute?" Dear lord please shut my mouth, okay? Where does this c**p come from?
this was when i was like five: "sometimes i fart through my vagina"
I yelled I love cheetos. It was a dare, and the kids who dared me to do it got a kick out of it.
how would it feel to oil up a bald man's head and slap it at an extremely fast velocity?
