For me, my friend didn't want to sit with a certain girl. He whined to the teacher about how there was nowhere for him to sit. There were 2 available seats. Now he claims he's smarter than me because his grades are better.
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My husband once asked me if there was a "d" in the word "college". He's a chemical engineer. I have no words.
Mother in laws friend. We were giving her c**p for always bringing home random guys from the bar. I told her she should get tested. So she says “I don’t have STDs, I’m on my period”. I fell outta my chair.