Hey Pandas, What’s Something You Did As A Kid Now That You Look At It, Was You Being An Emotional Wreck? (Closed)
I’m curious, what did you do as a kid that now makes you think you were an emotional wreck back then?
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I wet the bed when I was a kid, until I was 15. When I was around 8, my dad had me wear diapers at night. I was so ashamed when I'd wake up with them wet, and that I wet the bed in general, that I would hide my diapers and tell my dad that I didn't wet the bed. Which delighted them, until they eventually found them. Why wouldn't they find it. But when they did, they started screaming at me, and I mean screaming. They grabbed me by my ears and shook my head. It was terrifying. I felt so ashamed, for such a long time because of that. I thought there was something wrong with me. Like I was a bad kid. I wasn't. I was troubled. My mom's current husband from ages 6 to 11 made fun of me constantly, thankfully my mom got her act together and left him, but anyway. He would humiliate me daily, and publicly. He would call me 'miss p**s pot', tell strangers when we were out, and when he had his friends over he'd make fun on me about wetting the bed whenever I passed by. My father and stepfather were wrong.
In middle school, I was so scared of people not liking who I was that I figured "if I don't do anything, I can't do anything wrong". I never spoke up, and handed up going home crying every day because I was so frustrated with life, and I felt I couldn't speak my mind around my "friends" out of fear of what they might think. Needless to say out of a friend group of 8, I only stayed in contact with 3 of them after we all entered high school.
I decided to not be friends with my best friend from Kindergarten through 4th grade right before 6th grade started. I almost failed 6th grade and I think my teachers passed me out of pity. I leaned on one of the throughout that year and let them know my family issues. I didn't really have friends until 11th grade again.
I was actually self-aware that this was strange, but I also knew I was different than most. Back then, and to this day, I don't like pop music, celebrities and cute boys, this was probably just as problematic as my family issues.
I cut myself off from a friend who had never done anything wrong because I was insecure and thought she was just freinds with me for my sister. I’m too embarrassed to talk to her now, even though we live nearby
I'm curious to know if my daughter knows you. She had a similar experience with an old best friend.
When I was really little I learned the saying that if you step on a crack, you break your mother’s back.
I’d sing it a few times while walking home from school in, like, 2 & 3 grade.
Then one day in 4th grade I started to sing it & it hit me.
My mom wasn’t a very good mom to me & mid-song I thought “what the heck am I doing?”
I walked the rest of the way searching out the cracks to stomp on.
I probably looked deranged stomp-stepping with a smile on my face.
Quiet defiance & it felt liberating.
Warped, but freeing.
I was playing at a friend's house. My mom called to tell me to come home from dinner. I freaked out, screamed shouted, cried and smashed the plastic soother necklace my mom gave me on the sidewalk. I got in s**t for that. I regretted it.
I pooped on the bathroom floor at school. I felt like s**t so I wanted people to see it. It was around the second grade and I wasn't treated well by my older siblings. We were more like roommates than family.
I had no real friends throughout all of elementary school and her beginning of middle school. Some people would pretend to be my friend and then ditch me at the first chance they got, then they would bully me afterwards for no real reason. I went home and cried almost every night because of how lonely I felt. Eventually I figured it was my personality and chose to completely alter it so that people would like me, but that just made it worse seeing as now I wasn't even try he same person. I was very depressed and I still face issues because of all that happened when I was younger. It's actually only been more recently that I've let my actual personality shine through and luckily my current friends all stuck with me.
