– Imagine that you are sharing your life story.

– Submit a single sentence meant to make your audience want to read more.

#1

I was the first in our group to kiss a boy, Louise was the first to get married, and Mary was the first to be murdered by an enraged jealous husband and buried in the back garden under a selection of concrete animal statues

Report

#2

This is the story of how I died.

Report

#3

"For the better part of my childhood, my professional aspirations were simple–I wanted to be an intergalactic princess."

Report

#4

First things first; f**k you for not paying the full price for my book.

Report

#5

I would like to apologize in advance-

Report

#6

This is the story of all about how my life got flip-turned upside down, And I'd like to take a minute,
just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the hot mess you see here.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#7

Liked by everybody but loved by nobody

Report

#8

This is how I got a felony over a big Mac and a midget stripper.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#9

Don’t let this happen to you

Report

#10

I've been called many things, but I have never been called an author.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ahessler avatar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OR maybe something like "I once got three likes on Bored Panda" OR "I was born at a very early age." What do you think?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#12

I can't believe I lived long enough to have a life story to share.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
jettewangwahnon avatar
Jette Wang Wahnon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well,Anne Frank was only 15 and left a pretty poignant story which can find an echo in the Now-a-days...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#13

It's all going to make sense in the end.

Report

#14

Welcome to my long list of embarrassments and regrets.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#15

It was f*****g hot that day, my aunt told me.

Report

#16

No one connected the child's birth to the gypsy woman's curse that was cast last year.

Report

#17

I didn't know it at the time growing up, but i'm pretty sure my life was a shitshow from the start. I once read souls upstairs can pick their next reincarnated life, and know the reason why they want that life with those people. If that's true, someone needed to stop me and slap me upside the head.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
adrianawoidich avatar
AW
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Souls picks their next lives so they can learn from it; what you must have learnt: this never again. Mission completed

#18

It started with a mistake, Avery big mistake.

Report

#19

"Hi. Ya might wanna leave, I'm pretty boring."

Report

#20

To annoy and distract, that was my purpose.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#21

If I answer your question, you have to promise me that we’re in this together.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#22

So many times I thought I’d reached bottom and then it turned out I was wrong .

Report

#23

"A tale of love. A tale of tragedy. A tale of shoving fistfuls of shredded cheese into your mouth at 2 in the morning. This is the story of the life Tessa lived."

Report

#24

It was dark and it was raining, but I knew where I was going.

Report

#25

If she was trying to boast she would say she spent hours studying astronomy but the moment you left she would resume her youtube video about the universe while also scrolling through bored panda.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#26

I always knew my mother hated me and it took me until I turned 16 for the feeling to become mutual. That was the year that my sister and I decided that she and her pervert boyfriend should die so we poisoned them.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#27

There is a lot of fish in the sea, but a lot of trash too. A lot of trash in general.

Report

#28

On the advice of my lawyers, I will attempt to explain my side of the story, with any any omissions protected by the fifth amendment.

Report

#29

Nan had a strong back, she carried me on it for most of her life

Report

#30

before we get to the content I wsnt to talk about today's sponsor...

Report

#31

Procrastination has impacted my life in many ways such as

Report

#32

And yes. It did hurt.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#33

Oh s**t, did I just say that out loud?

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#34

Someone once said, "The only way to fail, is by giving up."

Report

#35

Well, wasn't that bad

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#36

If you’re reading this you must be either a very lonely person or somebody is forcing you- either way, I’m sorry for you.

Report

#37

Born lost; never found her way.

Report

#38

I left a class once because they wanted us to explore our emotions.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#39

Chapter one: me and a boob. The beginning of a long love story.

Report

#40

My life resembles a bunch of mixed up game pieces in an old monopoly box, it's a mess.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
always2bfaithful avatar
DDmaybeandor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a good start. How about, “You might ask how a pink Barbie shoe, domino, and small ball of hair got mixed into this bedraggled Monopoly box I call ‘Life’, but only because you don’t know me yet.”

View more commentsArrow down menu
#41

Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then I'll begin....

Report

#42

just letting you know before you continue reading, this book is going to be filled with a bunch of immature crap about butts and farts because that's the kind of little s**t you're reading about

Report

#43

This is the space everyone has made for me in their lives! (6 feet under!)

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#44

Well, the cat just climbed up and smooshed my face so I guess that's a good sign.

Report

#45

the sister series to "a series of unfortunate events."

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#46

"The story of a useless person in society"

Report

#47

It's difficult to live your life in a closet when the closet door is made of glass...

Report

#48

There's a reason Mom didn't name me Grace.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#49

Nothing was ever as it appeared to be.

Report

#50

She is too old to have a pacifier...

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#51

Mom, Dad, maybe you should have left me the f**k alone and let me be on the internet without you looking through my history.

Report

#52

She shouted unapologetically, "GET OFF THE LAWN!".

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#53

I have experienced 45-degree Celsius heat (at least it was a dry heat) and wind chill of 50 below, I have experienced several earthquakes, I have driven through tropical storms, I have seen a tornado, I have nearly been run over by a snowplow, I have escaped a psychotic Irish setter and his even more psycho owner, I have seen kittens get born, I have gotten gutter-wallowing drunk, I have eaten till I felt as though I would burst, I have been so thirsty that I would guzzle megabrewed Lite beer, I have driven across North America numerous times, I have drunk well over 10,000 different varieties of beer - in short, have I lived or not?

Report

#54

She was the biggest weirdo I ever met.
-My best friends colaberating to write this

Report

#55

I was the only redhead in my family.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
harri_ellis avatar
HarriMissesScotland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You could be in my family. Out of 15 kids, 14 were redheads. Found a new redheaded cousin on Ancestry. I am The only blonde.

#56

That Katie, she thought she was funny bless her heart.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#57

My sister and I were born on February 7th into the loving arms of Kayla ****. We were in Nicu for a week before going home. But we didn't go the same home. This is the story on how I was separated from my twin sister for 15 years and how its affected my everyday life.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
kristybelle avatar
thee1nonlykRiS
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm an identical twin & I couldn't ever imagine this reality you've lived. So very sorry for the pain this caused the 2 of you. Sending you both virtual hugs & positive vibes!

#58

If you are to read this, take what you think normal and throw it out of the window. There is no normal. There is no perfect. Even if there was, I am nowhere near that door.

Report

#59

"Well That Didn't Work"

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#60

Some said I wasn’t normal they some called me odd a few called me downright evil and those few were right.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#61

Failure is most definitely an option. It it why I'm still here, for better or for worse.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#62

It wasn’t a fart after all

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#63

I know what you are thinking was it horrible, yes it was I am now going to make it your problem.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#64

Kinda' hope you're ready for this.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#65

Well, I made it to 20 which is more than everyone (including myself) thought I would make it to

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#66

is your life a train wreck? well you'll feel better when you hear about my life :)

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#67

So obviously, i F**ked up somehow for you to be reading this

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#68

And her journey through the dark world of idiots now begins here

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#69

We must first establish that the time tested rule that states"If anything Can Go Wrong, It Will", is the theme. Now, let's wait and see what happens. "Hmm. Oh no, oh dear, oh not that, o God what have I done?" were her last words, many times, in many lives.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#70

My Autobiography or "How not to end up serving as a warning to others in several easy steps. "

Report

Add photo comments
POST
See Also on Bored Panda
#71

I am the character that causes you to scream at the screen, yell at them not to do that.

Report

#72

You may be wondering why I've gathered you all here today

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#73

I gave my mother problems from the moment of conception.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#74

I have always been the strong weed that grows in the garden of society, the one that grows back every time it is ripped up by the roots, sprayed with poison, or burned - and I am tired of never being allowed to bloom.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#75

Everyone said I had a lot of potential. Everyone was dead wrong.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#76

hey there, you're probably wondering how i got here.

Report

#77

most of her family, especially those who knew her in her youth, would be surprised that she was looking forward to her 65th birthday, never understanding how she survived life, not to mention her impulsive decisions.

Report

#78

Hated almost everyone they knew

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#79

You definitely don't want to be me.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#80

"This B**** Crazy!!" It's all I've ever heard.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
See Also on Bored Panda
#81

Life started on a snowy day in Feb and this is where it went from that...

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#82

my mom always said the peonies in our front yard bloomer the day i was born.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#83

Well you could say it all started when 2 people got very drunk and decided to have sex....

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#84

Not a whole lot happened in my life (and I'm surprised that I'm writing this) but I thought you might want to read it anyway. I haven't had a first kiss (or said more to a boy my age than 'hi' in the past few months) and I haven't had any huge self-discoveries (other than that I'm pretty good at lying), but I have had a happy life. I've lived, and for me, that's enough. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy everything! *Not part of the opening* I do have a journal I've been keeping since September of 2020, and maybe I'll publish it sometime in the future. It's pretty boring, but it's what's happened in my life, and I'm happy I've kept track of it.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
adrianawoidich avatar
AW
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a pretty good synopsis, they said they're pretty good at lying, hmmm

#85

as you may expect, this is a story of how I died....internally, on the outside I'm doin great-ish. But anyways, I die a slow and painful death, like most people my cliff diving skills, don't exactly succeed first try without trying, but my self esteem decided to give it a whirl.

Report

#86

There were mixed reactions when my gender was revealed.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#87

A series of unfortunate events that happen to be true.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#88

This is the story of a stupid human who thought they might achieve something in life.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#89

"I'm invisible but only visible when someone needs something"

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#90

another series of unfortunate events

Report

Add photo comments
POST
See Also on Bored Panda
#91

I should have went that way

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#92

How to have a good life; be anyone other than me

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#93

You gotta believe me when I say I'm absolutely, 100%, batshit crazy. But everything in this book is true.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#94

What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. Allow me to explain via my life.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#95

A boys life, at 4 yrs father's drunken every night,bare mattress no diapers, whipped to near death for peeing my bed.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#96

If you like a happy ever after sort of ending, this book is not for you.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#97

Wow, uh, never thought I'd get this far. Line?

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#98

To the surprise of everyone, especially myself - I am still alive ...

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#99

You wouldn't want to read this but . . .

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#100

The clairvoyant told my mother
I see a son, he’s into cars, but he should never buy a blue one, he’ll get divorced and tell him NEVER to wear a uniform.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
See Also on Bored Panda
#101

“Cashier number three please!” Here we go…..

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#102

I won’t bore you with my childhood prior to seventh grade cause that is really were it started; pucking in the sink in science class.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#103

Hello and welcome. Here is the story of the interesting parts of my life. I assure you, it will be very short.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#104

WELL! That didn't go as planned . . .

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#105

My Life is Based on a True Story

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#106

You should never say "what else could go wrong" because sure as s**t something will.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#107

Well now, this did not turn out as I expected.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#108

When I was 9 our cat caught fire.

Report

#109

Dying was not something I did often, so of course I took the opportunity to capitalize on it.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#110

Hey. Hey, you! We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty

Report

See Also on Bored Panda
#111

This is the story of my life, how it sucked, and how it ended. Quick tip: Don't be like me, or your life will suck just as much.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#112

She came, she saw , she moved. I have moved 51 times in my life and have yet to feel at home.

Report

#113

I was an accident

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#114

Now was the doughnut of our discontent.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#115

Listen, I wouldn’t describe myself as quirky but… there is definitely something wrong with me.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#116

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#117

it was a long dark night...

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#119

I was 27 the first time I died.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#120

“I’m the most evil and selfish human to ever live on this planet!”

Report

See Also on Bored Panda
#121

If you need a drink to make it through it, I won’t blame you. If you need to put it down before you can pick it up again, I won’t blame you. If you can’t make it through all of it, I won’t blame you. I lived it; trust me I know how f*cked up this entire thing is.

More than one line but the most poignant part of the warning at the beginning of me telling my story.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#122

My mother’s wedding night was a threesome: My mother, father, and Joe, an Episcopal priest, who was my father’s favorite lover.

Report

#123

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#124

Suicide is a pretty shitty way to die, take it from me. This is gonna be a mess so grab your drink and a cat and buckle up.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#125

There was once this girl who binge-watched all 3 Mighty Ducks movies, lemme tell you, she then started scaring all the people around her to hell.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#126

Some girls go to college after high school graduation. Some go to the stage, wearing a lacy g string.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#127

My dead best friend, whom I still refer to as “Chair”, tried to get me to join him, but instead we still make our mischief together here, where it really counts.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#128

This is NOT how I imagined my life would turn out to be...

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#129

No, I am not the DJ and get your f#%king drink away from my console!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#130

Fortunately it was not a bad day to be a dog.
Unfortunately I was a vet assistant and thusly not a dog.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
See Also on Bored Panda
#131

"I'm okay", I would say to the stranger in the mirror; each time hoping that i would recognize her, and each time hoping that she would believe me.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#132

Dear readers, by the time you read this, I will probably be floating in space, and if purple wasn't stupid enough to protect his friend even though he was clearly an Imposter.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#133

get ready to hear the most normal and scientifically average life story you've ever heard... if you are worried about being bored, don't worry. I lived the thing, and even I was pretty bored.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#134

Buckle up, buttercup.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#135

If you are reading this I am probably dead. Most likely killed by a vengeful soul or my best friend trying to shove extra cheesy cheez its down my throat.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#136

Warning you are about to experience an insane amount of graphic stupidity and second hand embarassment

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#137

needless to say, I led a very pathetic life. There were many reasons why. including.....

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#138

Report

Add photo comments
POST