Hey Pandas, What Was An Ethical Decision You Had To Make And How Did You Handle It? (Closed)
I’m looking for a bit of real-world material for an ethics class so I figured I’d ask the internet.
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When I was in 8th grade a bunch of girls got sexually assaulted by a guy in our grade, instead of staying quiet I spoke out and even though he never got punished for what he did, I still said SOMETHING instead of staying quiet and letting him get away with it like he always did.
I went to school, went home and didn't kill myself.
That's great! It can be hard, and I'm not you, so I don't know what your going through, but that's really good, I hope you can find more ways to help you deal with things.
I had to call Family and Community Services (FACS) and have my 2 nephews and my niece removed from my sister's custody. My my sister was dating this real loser that was quite abusive towards her in pretty well every way. She was dealing with some addiction issues and neglecting the kids. One of my nephews is quite high on the spectrum and suffers terrible eczema. She used to neglect him so bad he was quite literally rotting away on the living room floor. His eczema had got so bad he had open wounds from head to toe and couldn't move because it would break the scabs and hurt him. She had cut ties with myself and another sibling, we used to take turns taking bread, milk, cheese and what not over so the kids had something to eat. In the end I had to make the decision that these kids are also blood and they deserve a shot at life. I called FACS as a mandatory reporter (I work in a school) and made the report. FACS did nothing. I called again bit this time I demanded they give me a reference number the name of the person I was talking to. I told them when one of these kids ends up killed I will let the world know they did nothing! Next couple of days the kids were in my other sisters custody and are now thriving. One has nearly finished his degree at university in Social Work. One has completed her apprenticeship and is now a fully qualified chef and the little boy with eczema hasn't had a flair up in a long time, his skin is amazing now. He is in yr10 at high school and doing really well. Was a really hard choice but I'm glad I did it in the end.
In case you are interested the scumbag that was abusing my sister and her kids was found recently dead, alone in an abandoned roller skating rink. Apparently his addict mates called the cops anonymously and left him to die alone. I could not of asked for a better end to that guy
I was a martial arts instructor (35yrs f) at the time, appx 20 yrs ago, at a tournament with other instructors, my master instructor (m) at our Grand Master's (m) tournament with other schools.
I was to work a ring that day as an official whose job was to supervise to make sure all rules were followed and enforced. All officials stood before the tournament, raised our hands and swore an oath to do so. Adult winners would go on to Nationals, and potentially to the Olympics.
The part of the tournament of 9-11 yr old girls sparring came up, we had to make sure all safety gear was being worn. Head gear, mouth piece, groin protector, chest protector, booties. One girl came up to me and told me she had forgotten to bring her groin protector.
I told her that her parents or coach could go upstairs to the vendors area who carried equipment and gear or borrow from a team mate. They are worn outside of the uniform so, not gross!!
She left and came back to ringside. Her parents and coach waved me over. I saw the girl looking very nervous, not making eye contact, her face was flushed. Her parents said she was ready to fight. I asked the girl if she had found a groin protector? She looked down and nodded. I looked and I didn't see it.
Her mother said, she's wearing it underneath her uniform.
Groin protectors are pretty bulky and it was obvious she was not wearing one. I looked at the coach, the two parents and they all were good with the lie. I squatted down and face to face reminded the girl, that as a martial artist we hold respect, integrity, truth, indomitable spirit, in high regard. I asked again if she was wearing all of her gear. She said no, but her parents and coach told her to lie because they paid the tournament fee and they couldn't get it back. They were unable to find another protector to use. They wanted to have her fight without it.
I ignored the parents and coach and walked the young lady to my master instructor who was observing the tournament with the grand Master. I kept the young lady out of earshot but spoke with my instructor and the grand Master said, she's simply a girl, let her fight.
There were some cultural differences as he's Korean and women are not considered serious fighters in that culture. Times are changing but this was over 20 years ago.
I reminded them of the oath I took and I was told to go back to the ring and do my volunteer job.
I went back to the girl, told her she would get to fight. To be extra careful. I went back to the ring, took a moment then made my decision. I decided to follow my oath. I removed my official badge, handed it to my ring assistant and bowed off the mat. I sat in the bleachers and enjoyed the tournament for the rest of the day.
I had ridden down to the tournament, an hour one way, with my American master Instructor, and a few other black belts. The ride back was quite the 'trip!!' As he persuaded, cajoled and tried to convince me I had overreacted. I refused to be swayed. Still, to this day, I think of that young lady. I hope she remembers the lesson. I hope she realized that there was so much more going on around her than just a tournament, that day.
Myself, it was the start to my leaving a misogynistic industry that for many, not all, but many is more about image, money and bravado than personal growth and self defense. I'm proud I stood up to a Grand Master and felt like I won.
When I was in elementary, I had to choose to either bully kids or lose practically all my friends. Easy choice to make- I left the group. But I got bullied for the next two years and I became besties with the girl that they were trying to bully. Still best friends with her.
I was in class once and a teacher from another class (along with a student) came in the room and requested one of my classmates join them in the hallway. I watched as my classmate made a stop at an empty desk and left something behind from her purse. No one else seemed to notice. I know I that shouldn’t have, but the door was open, my desk was right by the door, and I was bored, and so I eavesdropped on what was happening in the hallway. The student accused my classmate of stealing her purse, while my classmate said that it was her own purse. The teacher asked for some proof and the student said to check for the wallet because it had her ID. I’m watching as they start digging in the purse and coming up empty handed.
Here’s where I probably messed up, but it was definitely an ethical decision. I knew that my classmate had taken something out of the purse before leaving the room, and from what I could tell, it definitely looked like it could be a wallet. I also knew that stealing was wrong (eavesdropping was apparently fine to young me though lol). So, I shout out "The wallet is in here!" Completely forgetting that I was in the middle of a lesson from my own teacher and that I was not a part of that conversation. My teacher made me clarify what the heck I was talking about, and I told her how they were looking for the wallet which was right there. I barely knew that student, but I didn’t want her to have her things stolen.
Long story short, I was right (even had to write a statement about it), the classmate tormented me for the rest of the year (nothing new, everyone bullied me anyway), and I still haven’t learned to keep my mouth shut whenever I notice someone doing something bad even as an adult (and I still get consequences from it, but maybe people shouldn’t do bad things if they don’t want to be called out, just saying). Hope this answered your question, sorry if it didn’t.
