best joke ever!

#1

I’ve said this a few times but it’s my best so I’ll say it again. This is a dirty adult humor joke if you don’t like those kind of jokes stop reading now. K here it is: a man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend. So he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head and his friend in the balls. The hitman says he charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees. They set up from across the way and the hitman looks through the sniper scope then turns to the man and says “ I can save you $100”

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#2

Mine are mainly dad jokes, since my mom makes way too many, and my dad just joins in:

Why wasn't the robber able to break into the cannabis dispensary? It was a high security facility.

Why was the tomato blushing? He saw the salad dressing.

What did the seed say to the flower? Okay bloomer.

I have more, and I do not want to have more.

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