Out of nowhere and you were left speechless!

#1

I don't know what to say when people are sad or grieving. I'm literally not capable of empathy so I just look like a ahole.

For example, a short while ago colleague A had sent a message to colleague B telling them that their (A) mother had died that morning. B told me as I'm the direct manager of A.
When A called me and told me their mum had died, my response was 'So I hear! What's your plan? How long do you want off?'.
I know I need improvement.

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Mina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know what? At least you are aware of it and that's huge. If you want some advice, I guess a general rule for any sad situation would simply be to say something like "I'm sorry to hear." Honestly, sometimes that's the only thing that is appropriate. You can add "How are you holding up?" or if you just don't really want to know or will know what to do if they do share how terrible they are feeling, then don't even ask that. If you do feel the need to add something else, you can just say "Let me know if there is anything I can do for you." Also don't say "I know how you feel" if you truly don't - instead just say "I can't imagine how you are feeling." And then just listen, I find that during difficult times people just want to be heard. Some people feel the need to then share their own grief story, but don't do that, it doesn't help them unless they specifically ask you to share your experience.

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#2

I always pee in a bottle because the chemicals in the toilet are taking pictures of my d**k because they can make cameras that small now and Mi15 know that I know and have put snipers in the loft of my house that are going to kill me because I know.

One of many fun conversations I've had whilst working in a mental health hospital. Life hack: Don't ever take monkey dust it's just really bad for you and those around you.

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#3

Mine was I was visiting my home country after some years of not being there, and a girl cousin (around 8 yo) says to me about her 16 yo sister: "You know, she once tried to push me out the window." Deadpan expression, no context, nothing. They lived in a high rise building at the time. I said "Oh!... Well...I'm...I'm glad she didn't...do that..." This was in front of said sister AND their mother. Nobody said anything or looked uncomfortable, except for me of course. I quickly changed the subject!

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#4

Thank God I always have an answer - even if it is the most stupid or inappropriate one ! LOL

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#5

I once had a customer say I look “exactly like her ex wife” This was completely out of the blue. I had no response for it.

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#6

"beware of the Easter bunny"

I was working at a prison. The inmates warned the guards and staff that they liked that to warn them Abt a riot that was Abt to happen.

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#7

Pretty much everything my mum says. She's a bit nutty. I'll walk in on her talking to herself, singing demented nursery rhymes, and just general muttering. The other day she just out-of-the-blue yells, "SKANK."
Apparently, it was just said in her audiobook and she likes to repeat what she hears.

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#8

It was actually a question, but I'm going to count it. I was sitting with a female friend at lunch as well as a male friend who was watching something on his phone. Suddenly he looks up at us and says, "Are you lesbians? I only ever see you talk to girls." We just sat there staring at him. I had told him I was straight (well, sort of straight anyways, but not a lesbian) a few times, my friend had said she was straight before, and also we definitely talked to boys because, well, he's a boy and I talk to him...

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#9

Once had a guy ask me if I wanted to f*ck him on the second day of school my sophomore year. I’d been homeschooled my entire life, that was my first year at a public school. Was so confused, i don’t think I answered him. He kept cornering me and asking for my number etc. and I eventually gave him a fake. He never bothered me after that thank goodness.

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Mina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's kind of scary! I'm glad he left you alone

#10

I had a patient lean over me, inhale deeply through his nose, and comment, "you can just tell the smell of a virgin!" I was like 27 and definitely not (which is beside the point).

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