What always happens in books but never happens in real life?
Smirking. If people smirked in real life as much as in fiction, there'd be an epidemic of slapped faces, with me at the epicenter.
The good guys win, girls don't get their periods or cramps, women's issues are non-existent, the main characters are always "clumsy" but then are super pretty/handsome, smart or good at combat. And no lgbtq+++ people get beaten up, harassed, or murdered in the streets for loving who they love.
*She/he could see it in her eyes...* Seriously, we don't actually do that.
I never got my hogwarts letter at 11, no one has knocked on my door telling me I'm long lost royalty, all the wardrobes I've walked into have a back, and I've never once had a moment where the sky shined upon me as the chosen one. I'm a few years away from Gandalf popping up like a daisy asking me if I want to go on an adventure.
There's still hope.
Ugly Duckling trope - all she had to do was lose the glasses and put her hair down...
It always starts raining when the main character is sad.
This is kind of dumb but......
No one ever needs to go to the bathroom in the middle of a huge scene (exploring a new realm/saving the universe etc) in books
The good guys win. Justice was served etc
The secret heir trope - ie the orphan kid finds out he's secretly been a prince, wizard, etc.
Entering/exiting houses through windows. Like, yeah, technically you can do it, but NOBODY DOES. Windows are not meant to be an entrance. What is up with that, Edward Cullen? Romeo? Forrest Gump? Prince from Rapunzel? Ron Weasley? Sara Crewe?
I have never spent time in front of the mirror contemplating my boobs and butt, which most male authors seem to think women do. (Mostly I admire my tattoos in the mirror and flex.)
Finding out that a magical/fantastical world really does exist only it kept hidden from normal people.
The popular guy falls for unpopular girl
Only one person - an ignored scientist, the janitor, a teenager, or a dog (yeah, dogs are people too - LOL) can save the world from destruction.
When they bleed a lot yet somehow still live.
People never have to pee unless they have some funny line for it.
I have yet to visit a dimly lit, dusty bookstore where the odd little old proprietor gives me a secret book for free and nods knowingly when I take it with me.
Sad face but happy eyes. like how?
Well I never got to meet a mysterious stranger who will end up saving my life and I will end up falling in love with them and they'll tell me that I'm actually a demon slayer and my father is a supervillian thing and I have a long lost brother who also wants to destroy the world and my best friend turns into a vampire but the mysterious stranger who i fell in love with is actually my sibling even though i am in love with him but actually surprise they're not but i gotta save the world like 8 times
Never happened. Thoroughly dissatisfied with my boring life.
“Hey, sis!” “Hey little bro!” Why would anyone address their sibling that way unless they want to make it VERY obvious they’re related?? No one does that(that I know of). Usually I just say “hi Demon 1”
While wandering the moors after discovering your fiancé is a bigamist-wanna-be who keeps his crazy wife locked in the attic, you eventually collapse on the doorstep of your long-lost cousins.
Obviously, we had Trump, McConnell and a host of others of this ilk to prove that we are living in a Stephen King novel, and not reality.
- A depressive detective that suffers PTSD and/or alcoholism solves an insolveable case on his own while finding love during the investigation
- Teenager are capable of handling even the most extreme situations, from fighting in a death arena with minimal training to messing up a whole military base during an alien invasion
- The bad guys are never fully able to win. No matter the ressources or power they have, the good guys always overpower them and never have to face restrictions or consequences what so ever.
- Everything is possible for the protagonist; being it by a Deus Ex Machina, being born as the chosen one or through pure willpower. Failing is no option and if it happens it's not significant.
- The creepy person is somebody special with loveable attributes and turns out as the best chance for being a love interest.
- It takes only one (maximal two) days to learn any skill, no matter if it's knitting or engineering cold fusion reactors
- The misfit is the one ending up with power or in the overall best position. Bullies and people mistreating the misfit always have something bad happen to them.
People getting the absolute crap beaten out of them & tending to their own wounds. Broken ribs/ankle? Wrap it up! Deep cuts? Stitch it yourself or cauterize it! Then go somewhere remote to recover.
I've been reading romance novels since I was 11 (started out with Harlequin romance - remember those?). It has screwed up every single relationship I've ever had. Still waiting for my Fabio look alike, Scottish, Alpha-Male, Duke to come and sweep me off of my feet and whisk me to the Maldives on his private jet, where I'll be lavished with unnecessary luxury. He will love me unconditionally and be faithful until the day we die.
Everything in fiction
The love triangle!
the protagonist enter a foriegn place, they always speak the same language as the natives
In books nobody ever has to to poop. They're forever stopping to eat or grab some coffee or whatever, but never go to the bathroom. As a child I learned, Everybody Poops😁
The unimportant characters can die of an arrow in their leg while the important ones can survive boing crushed by a cat, stabbed 19 times, missing a limb and being shot in the head.
Hidden Fantasy worlds
Two friends for life
READING PEOPLES EMOTIONS IN THEIR EYES
There are a lot more that’s I can’t think of right now
No smoke damage. For real, it's dangerous and there's always no lasting damage in the books. I would be coughing for DAYS.
Women never seem to have Periods PMS anything like that oh How i wish i was a book character
The hero and heroine always hate each other before they fall in love. It’s such a cliche in books but I’ve never heard of it happening in real life.
Protagonist gets beaten up by several thugs. Has a few minor cuts & bruises (always a cut lip) and is fine the next day.
super hot, manwhore billionaire always gets super innocent virgin girls
Parents knocking on door before entering
Love and happily ever after...nope....
randomly wondering into a long lost native village and having some sort connection to it
•emotions in eyes
•misfit being really skilled
•Creepy character who just wants to fit in
•raining when someones sad or when the (insert bad event here) is over
•ex coming back and getting back with main character
•ugly duckling was actually the best
•characters being brave no matter what
Characters always figure out how to operate the technology without a learning curve. Turn it on and launch the missile, hack the FBI database, reroute the electric grid!
Opening a wardrobe to go to place much better than this Earth right this moment
I never was sexy and in slow motion when I took of my glasses and let my hair down.
People falling in love and having this perfect relationship, even if it takes to the last chapter it happens. If life was as easy as that I doubt we’d be lonely.
Gunshots killing people immediately
whenever there's a romantic scene, it *magically* starts raining on them
"They lived happily ever after"
AnD tHeY lIvEd HaPpIlY EvEr AfTeR.
Books: They were wrote by authors that happen to have 5 elements that are called Characters, Conflict, Settings, Plot and Theme. They help us understand the story so what doesn’t happen in life is what happens in books - Talking Animals, Robots malfunctioning itself and etc.
Real Life: We do normal stuff like play, sleep, eat, run and etc. But we prefer something more than books like video games and TV
In romance novels, they always end up together. It's always a heterosexual couple.
People in fantasy stories who travel a lot over countries, valleys and mountains without the need to poop.
No one ever stutters or says anything grammatically incorrect on accident.