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What did one stick say to the other? “I have to go wash my hands... there STICKY”
Today was a terrible day. My enemy got hit by a bus. And I lost my job as a bus driver!
I went to lunch with a mushroom, he was a fun guy.
What did the pirate say on his 80th bday?
I'm eighty, or aa'y matey.. (sounds better in person.)
I told my mom to try to embrace her mistakes so she said "okay" and gave me a bear hug.
Some guy threw a glass of milk at me. How dairy
What do you call a Car Virus?
A Corolla-Virus
two men were in a mental asylum, one of them were scared of heights. so when they broke free they ran to the roof, the crazy one jumped across, and then shone a light to act as a bridge for the scared one. The scared one said "you think you can trick me?! you will just turn it off halfway as a prank!!"
last one from me: my brother is so stupid, I told him if he can make a milk shake and he went into the cow-pen...now he is in the hospital because we only have bulls
What's brown and sticky?
a horse walks into a bar
the bartender asks why the long face
the horse does not understand because he is a horse
A: I HAVE A LEMON JOKE!
B: K.
A: WHY DOES NO ONE TELL LEMON JOKES?
B: Why.
A: TOO SOUR HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHHAAH
B: -__-
Ok ok I have a few.
Which celebrity likes to work out most? Cardio B.
Which celebrity likes sweets the most? Robert Brownie Jr.
Which scientist is most interested in insects? Bill Nye the Science Fly.
As you can tell, I like wordplay LOL
So there is a movie called the meg and I said I will jaw you later
Why do gorillas have big noses?
Because they have big fingers.
Why do elephants have long trunks?
Have you ever tried pulling your foot out of your nose?
