Give me the best you've got, plus tips on how to roast someone!

#1

You should carry a houseplant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste.

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#2

If wit was s**t you'd be constipated.

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#3

Beef
I love a beef roast dinner with roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings Mmmmmm

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#4

You couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel

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#5

I would call you a smart a**e but you are only half qualified.

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