Hey Pandas, Ask A Question About LGBTQ+ And Allow Commenters To Answer It (Closed)

Same, this post makes me happy in several unexplainable ways

They’re most likely in a bad mental state and use BP and being a troll to take their anger and aggression out on us; or perhaps the fact that there are infinite genders is dizzying and scary to them. I honestly feel bad for them; clinging to their old beliefs because they’re afraid of change and these “newfangled ideas.” However, I am a very empathetic, nonjudgmental person that tends to see the best in everyone and give them the benefit of the doubt. Also, this doesn’t excuse their actions.

For me, I was AFAB, grew up as a "tomboy" who believed they were a boy in the wrong body, back in the 70s/80s when it was NOT accepted/talked about; Today I would probably just be called Trans and transition. I spent the next 30 years trying to conform to society's expectations of what "womanhood" is, and now don't feel like I belong to either male or female. I'm too masculine to be "female" and too feminine to be "male" in any traditional sense. I don't feel like either. I don't identify with my body at all but the dysphoria comes and goes.

You already have. Coming out is one of the hardest things most LGBTQIA+ people do, after accepting who they are themselves. The thing is, we never stop coming out. Each new job or person we meet etc, we may have to come out all over again. She's shared with you something very hard and you've done what any decent human being would do which is show compassion and love. Showing support is a hard thing to do as it's individual to the person. For some it might be attending pride march with them, others it might be just being there to listen and talk. Best thing I cam advise is talk to your daughter and ask her if there is anything she wants support with, but just knowing you're there and are happy is most likely going to be more than enough

I do feel offended. Someone said their pronouns were "bun bun" (as in a furry) quite seriously, and that s**t drives me crazy because now nobody takes it seriously at all that some people experience a lot of gender dysphoria and yet don't want to undergo surgical or other biological changes for a variety of reasons, or may choose to be gender fluid, etc. and that is a lot more legit than a sexual preference for dressing up in animal costumes.

it’s not so much as want to change as we are who we are, but like for me when i found out being nonbinary exists it made so much sense as to what i had been feeling my entire life

Everyone is different. Most trans couples I know broke up, but some stayed together. I have a good friend who identifies as lesbian and has a hard time with knowing what terms to use around her trans-masc partner -- can she still call herself a lesbian without offending/ diminishing her partner's identity as a man? etc. It's so complicated.

Please see one of the posts above that asks where trans people and asexual should be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Rhetoric like this truly terrifies me and is a form of gate-keeping. A community divided is a broken one. Everybody within the LGBTQIA+ community is going to have a different struggle. To say one sexuality or gender identity doesn't belong or is more worthy than another is flat-out cruel in my mind.

I come from a Christian household and am a panromantic asexual Christian myself. I've told my parents, and they are 100% supportive, they don't see it as a sin as it's not. God's love is unconditional. Humans are the ones who set the rules. If you feel comfortable telling them, sit them down and just talk. I was really lucky that my family has always been supportive, especially since so many aren't. God didn't want us to hate each other over things we can't change and it's disgusting that this still happens. If anyone's Christian and LGBTQ+ there's a website called hope remains that can help with any doubt about whether your life is sinful (it's not). God made us diverse and I am so sorry that my religion has been used to hurt so many people over the years. Best wishes for you and your family.

Some people may refer to this as a panromantic monosexual or a panromantic demisexual (demisexual is someone who experiences sexual attraction only in specific circumstances). Take time to explore and learn! You do not have to have your identity figured out it one day.

If not sure, I would just stick to “Thank you”.

For me, I didn’t exactly have a lightbulb moment that said “I’m bi”, I just always had crushes on both boys and girls. When I realised there was a word for it, I was like “ah it has a name”

I have difficulty with neopronouns. I am agender, but of the kind that really doesn't care how you refer to me. I am always very happy though when I can confused with a man and get to hear he/him pronouns, and I would be very happy with "them". But I live in a german speaking region, where most neutral pronouns don't sound natural? Not lik "them", I like "them". People I know use "them" is german as well, just germanised so that it doesn't stand out. I don't mind that, but I have difficulties with getting used to self-created pronouns - I just stumble over them and they don't sound natural. I think different genders should be natural and not worth any thought, and using pronouns that I have to consciously think about because they are out of the norm destroys that normalcy for me.

ACE here. Honestly I get neither hate nor support, but mostly apathy. I think it has to do with me being male - there's much more pressure on women to do their part in carrying on the human race or something. As an ACE male, I'm probably just another loser who won't ever get a woman and that's it. Whether I want to have a relationship or not is irrelevant.

Aro/ace person here! I hear mostly confusion, as a lot people where I live don't know what it means to be aro/ace. I've had to explain it a lot.

Gender-fluid means that you have no set gender or that your gender can often change as well as your pronouns. The use of pronouns strongly depends on the person since some people just set their pronouns as one, like me or some people can let people know when their pronouns change which is why you see pins like "ask me" for pronouns.

i tend to lean towards she/they more often, but there are days when i feel more masculine or nonbinary, so i will use whichever pronouns make me feel more myself and less dysphoric. thanks for the question!

As an ace, it’s mainly just apathy. It doesn’t come up in conversation much, and my friend asked what it meant and when I told him he just said “oh, ok” and the convo just moved on lol

Personally, I'm kinda genderfluid? (it's confusing but whatever) Anyway I use any pronouns, but I default to they/them since that's what works for me most of the time. I don't really mind being referred to as she/her when I'm feeling masc, or vice versa, because I know that people can't see how I'm feeling. Of course, everyone's experience is different, so this is just mine :)

While not aroace, I am ace; I've known since I was a teenager, but society writ large gaslit me into believing that I just hadn't met the right guy yet. Several years, failed relationships and attempts at a sex life later, I realized I had been right all along. (How much pushback I get has been in correlation with how closely I fit the conventional idea of female attractiveness; nobody gives a s**t that I'm ace now that I'm overweight, but when I was in good shape it was endless.)

Hi there! I have a gender-fluid friend, usually they go by one set of pronouns a day and will wear a ring (pink, blue, or gray) to signify what set of pronouns/name they use. I asked them what I should refer to them as when they’re not around to say what they’re feeling at the moment; and they said that I could use any pronouns; they don’t care :P

As an aroace- from where I go I see more support because I choose to but if I'm outside those spaces it's not always the best tbh

AFAB nonbinary/genderfluid here. My anxiety means I don't really bother with correcting my pronouns but I'll give you my take anyway: 'they' is always good for me. 'He' feels like a lie, 'she' feels uncomfortable. So, yeah, 'they' regardless of what mood I'm in.

Genderflux here (subset of genderfluid): I do change pronouns with current gender

My friend is gender-fluid and she says she feels male around males, female around females and non-binary when around both, none or other non-binary umbrella people. And she says just to use any of her pronouns (she/they/he). But you can use any system you like. And I am AroAce, but I luckily haven't experienced much hate, but haven't experienced much support either. I mean, I have a BFF who is AroAce and we love supporting each other and looking at awesome wallpapers and memes of our identities. They are amazing. Hi Friend!

aroace here and see more support, however in person I interact with a lot of aspec people, and I am a relatively new internet user (within the last 5 years or so), so I wasnt around for that huge uproar in aphobia

Please forgive my ignorance, but what is aroace? I hope this isn't seen as rude, as I genuinely don't know

Hi, I'm gender fluid! Yes, I change my pronouns with my gender, but I do have preferred pronouns of they/them, meaning I like people to use they/them as my "default" pronouns, and only use others when I let them know they've changed. Some gender fluid people will also go by different names depending on what gender they're identifying as!

Aroace here: I was already aromantic but then I found out a bit later that that doesn't automatically make you asexual as well, I don't love anyone romantically or sexually and never really have.

I feel like they wouldn't completely, but they would lose romantic interest in them.

I think it would be typically defined as friendship that tends to go much deeper than what is considered normal, although it differs for different people.

Pan is someone who is attracted to any gender without a preference and Omni is someone who is attracted to all genders but has a preference. But you can loosely identify with one of them like I loosely identify as pansexual because I do think that I have a Preference for the gender I like. However I do choose to identify as Pan

I don't have the answer as I'm cis gender, however I would avoid using the word symptoms as it comes across as it being an illness and could be offensive. I know you didn't mean it that way and this isn't an attack, just a friendly suggestion to show being more of an ally or understanding person.

i live in ireland, it is actually fine here, there is a few homophobes, and a few idiots in my class use the word as an insult, my friend used it as an insult but stopped when i came out to him. the only place i feel a lot of homophobia is on the internet namely anonomous platforms such as reddit and youtube. i have tried to stop using social media because of that.

That means that they're probably more fem-oriented in terms of gender, but they still identify as lesbian. If they were neutral oriented in terms of gender, that'd be trixic

I *think* you found my neopronouns confusing, and that's absolutely fine! So basically, neopronouns are like nonbinary pronouns but for ppl who don't feel like they want to use the they/them pronouns or traditional ones. You can make up whatever ones you want. I get a lot of ppl getting confused about this but it's absolutely fine bcs not many ppl have heard about neopronouns, glad I could answer your question :):):):)

I like she/they/him because it makes me feel seen. You're acknowledging my otherness. Just she/her (and for awhile he/him) keeps me trapped and choking. As soon as I asked for people to use a variety of pronouns for me, I felt very safe and comfortable. If you are my friend and unwilling to do this for me, I question your intentions toward my well-being.

You can be pan (or bi or omni) and still have a preference! I'm more attracted to fem people than masc people but I'm still bi

ace/bi here, i prefer men, but sometimes am romantically attracted to feminine men and enbies. also, women are kewl, I just don't feel romantically attracted to them as often as men.

I use a shirt as an example when explaining it. Sometimes I wake up, and everything feels right, like that comfortable, worn shirt that you have to wear around for work around the house because it's too worn and loved to wear in public. Other times I wake up and it all is just... wrong. Like that silly shirt that is too tight, and doesn't fit right and you just shove it away in the closet where you don't have to look at it again. Thats how I feel and how I decide which way to introduce myself if the situation arises. Does She feel comfortable and right, or does He? If I introduce myself as She, am I going to inwardly recoil because it feels wrong?

Use whatever term you feel best describes you, but this reminded me of the term "gender apathetic" (there are a few other words for it iirc) which describes someone who feels neutral towards their gender and how it is perceived

I include it, but I see the community as encompassing identities that not automatically assumed upon first impression. You don't need to come out as straight, or cisgendered, because they're automatically assumed. I've seen it explained better than what i was able to explain, apologies if it doesn’t make much sense

That is ok and normal. You might be abrosexual, which means that your sexuality can change over time. some days you might feel certain attraction to other people, some days none, some days to all, and so on. this sexuality is very common and i hope this helps. you also may be asexual, which means you don’t feel sexual attraction. :)

I just don’t understand them. Like, you can like certain animals, aesthetics, or other stuff, but when does that become part of your gender and not just personality? Like, if I’m a dog person and I love dogs, am I like doggender or something? Or, if I’m really into entomology, am I buggender? I feel like xenogenders are the product of gender being a social construct and not really being real, and so technically people can make up whatever genders they want and now there’s infinite genders. Of course I will always call people by their preferred pronouns, even if I don’t understand them, but it all just seems unnecessarily complicated to me.

Well, if you want to be perceived as non-binary, then it would be non-binary. You can have pronouns that don’t necessarily correspond with your gender (stereotypically).

Bisexual is like you’re attracted to 2 or more genders but you have a sort of preference like for example you prefer women over men but you’re still attracted to both. Pansexual is like you don’t care what gender someone is, you still want to date them. I saw a comic somewhere where a pan person hit on who they thought was a woman but he turned around and said he was a femboy to stop the advances and the pan character said “does it really matter?”

It is entirely possible to be straight and still part of the spectrum, as it includes gender identities and also intersex.

I was in my late 20s before I realised I was enby. When I look back now... well, I was a tomboy. Age 2, I was playing more with boys than girls. My mother has always told me I wasn't ladylike enough. And all of these things can also happen to cis women, so it really isn't a slam dunk situation. For me, it just feels like if you get a huge group and sort them into men/women, then I don't fit in either group. I should also note three things: 1) my best friend knew I was nonbinary before I did (she's trans); 2) I was friends with a trans guy who called me his 'little egg child' (i.e. he figured I was in the process of becoming trans); 3) in my all-girls high school I was voted most likely to have a sex change. So basically it's possible other people know even if you don't.

"[god] sent the gays to fix overpopulation, boy did that go well" -bo burnham

No, weezy, it's really not. It seems like you're the one who needs to wake up at some point. You clearly haven't learned that there are people like me who exist and existed before my time and will exist long after I am gone. Take time to learn and think about what you are going to comment before you do it. LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE!

Yes, I was fully outed before I wanted to be because the person I confided in betrayed my trust.

so bi is like latin or greek or sth, idk but bi means two, just like bicycle, cuz it has two wheels, so bisexual means u like both men and women, two genders, pan on the other hand, is some other language and it means all, so pansexual means u like all genders, typically because gender isn't something that matters to u!

Personally, I don't really know. I like watching and being around people of my gender. When I do, they have aestheticly pleasing looks and are really cute.