I (57 F) have five adult children. My three daughters (23, 34, and 35) are beautiful and intelligent women. They are mostly independent, only occasionally asking me for twenty dollars here or there when they’re in a bind, which I give them if I can.

What bothers me is that every year on their respective birthdays, they post on social media with links to their various money apps, asking people to "bless them" on their birthday. This mortifies and humiliates me. I did not raise them to beg for money. I don’t understand why they think others should pay them for being born! Many of my relatives mention it to me and say it’s awkward for them as well.

AITA for telling them this is in poor taste, or is this normal and accepted behavior for young adults now?

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#1

Never really heard of this. But I'm sure there's a lot they do they never tell you that might make you feel uncomfortable. I'm not clear on what these "money apps" are. Is it like Paypal or Venmo? What is the context in how they are "begging" for money? Are they content creators doing livestreams or something where fans can send money if they choose? Is this them telling people they would rather take money where they can decide what to get themselves, instead of being bought gifts they may not want?
At this point in your adult daughter's lives, they have free-will to make their own choices in life, and do as they choose. If what they are doing is socially unacceptable to general society, people will let them know. If what they are doing is socially acceptable, then it's a good idea to back off a bit. As long as they are not scamming people with lies and fraud.

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User avatar StrangeOne
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9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes they put links to their cashapp or Venmo accounts asking people to "Bless them" for their birthdays. They are not influencers or anything like that.

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    #2

    Very poor taste. And why are 3 adults still looking for money from mommy?

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    User avatar Murano
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    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you! It's nice to know somebody out there agrees with me. I have told them how I feel but they all did it again. Have a great day!

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    #3

    I don't blame you for being mortified tbh. I've never heard of it and i'm only slightly older than them. Do you think you might be a bit soft on them by any chance? Referring to your older two as young adults is a bit of a stretch?

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    User avatar notquitethereyet
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    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol, you are right, bit to me 35 year olds seem like kids. I have helped them out of occasional binds from time to time, but not more than 20 dollars at a time and noti often. I just don't understand why they beg for money on their birthdays.

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    #4

    Or, I've seen (and done) a charity donation link myself for my birthday. Still asking for cash but goes directly to the charity so a bit less cheeky.

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    User avatar notquitethereyet
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    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That wouldn't bother me at all. If they asked for donations to an animal rescue or hurricane victims or something honorable

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    #5

    I have to say that begging strangers for money feels strange. (Probably cultural differences) So you have a close relationship with your children. Will they pay back the money you borrowed? Do they borrow money from their friends? Where does it go? I don't want to be the harbinger of bad things, but the money of well-to-do adults goes innocently on fake eyelashes, nails and party clothes, and at worst on illegal substances, even if it's just for a birthday party. If I were you, I would directly ask why Birthday gifts are not enough and in this case you can join forces with your relatives.

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    User avatar LillieMean
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