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“She’s Being A Gold Digger”: The Internet Cannot Believe The Audacity Of This Guy After He Called Out His GF For Refusing To Pay $600 More For Rent
Moving in together is a big step in a relationship. It can both tie the couple closer together and challenge their bond, so it’s important how they go about it.
By the looks of it, the guy who made this Reddit post and his girlfriend aren’t really on the best course.
Using a now-deleted account, he explained that the two of them can’t agree on most things when it comes to this decision, and have been fighting over their finances.
Stuck in the argument, he asked the famous ‘Am I the [Jerk]’ community to at least help him understand who is to blame here. Continue scrolling to read what he wrote.
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This guy is on his way to becoming a pathologist, and wants to live near the hospital he does his residency in
Image credits: Andrew Neel (not the actual photo)
However, he can’t really afford it and wants his girlfriend to pay most of the rent
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
“Don’t contemplate a move-in because you want to save on some bills, or get rid of your roommate; moving in together should be a natural next step to a solid relationship and shared life goals,” dating coach Hayley Quinn told Bored Panda. “Before you have the ‘should we move in?’ chat make sure that you check out that your expectations are aligned. Do you see this as ‘the next step’ towards a future together? Or just something convenient that works right now?”
Quinn, who also gave an excellent TED talk called ‘Searching for love to escape ourselves‘, believes that a couple should tackle practical issues. “Your shared finances may not sound that romantic, but getting on the same page is an important step in building your partnership. Moving in together is a good time to come clean about your financial situation and do some planning together. Have an idea of how you’ll be dividing the bills, and chores, or mortgage ahead of time,” she said.
And the dating coach is right. 48% of Americans who are married or living with a partner say they argue with the person over money, according to a survey by The Cashlorette. Most of those fights are about spending habits: 60% said that one person spends too much or the other is too cheap.
These conflicts can have serious consequences. In many cases, they are the number one predictor of whether or not you’ll end up divorced, according to a study of more than 4,500 couples.
“Financial disagreements did predict divorce more strongly than other common problem areas like disagreements over household tasks or spending time together,” the authors of the study concluded.
“Whilst it might feel taboo to talk about money, it’s important to focus on transparency,” Quinn added. “In the long run, your relationship will expand beyond fun dates, and great sex, into the practical, and the mundane. This is okay. You may even find with a shared spreadsheet to hand that your love and trust for one another only deepens.”
There is some truth to what the man is saying in the post. Experts at the National Bank of Canada agree that the 50/50 split works when both people are making more or less the same. If, however, there is a significant salary gap between them, the distribution of expenses is more balanced if each contributes proportionally to their income.
The equation is quite simple: all you have to do is calculate what percentage of total household income is earned by each person and then apply this percentage to the total monthly budget.
Let’s take this hypothetical situation as an example: one of the spouses earns $75,000 per year and the other $25,000. The monthly household budget is $5,000. How do they allocate the expenses? The spouse who earns $75,000 transfers $3,750 to the joint account (or 75% of $5,000) and the other transfers the remaining $1,250 (25% of $5,000). Thus, each partner is contributing to shared expenses in relation to their financial capacity.
However, we don’t know all the details about this particular relationship and have heard only one side of the story. At least these folks seem to be talking about it.
Most people thought he’s acting like a jerk
With a few saying he’s not or that they’re both to blame
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Vanja Vidovic 3 years ago
But he needs her because he is a golddigger and cannot afford that place by himself.
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sturmwesen 3 years ago
Finally:a hard question. They are both right. Why should she pay for a location she does not need? Why should the OP pay for her extra room? I would say it cancels each other out and they both pay 50%.
Parmeisan 3 years ago
I think the extra bedroom and the location are a red herring as everyone including OP feel that they cancel each other out. His problem is that he thinks he's "all that" because he *might* finish school and *might* get a better-paying job and they *might* still be together at that point. That's a lot of mights, and while I can see his point and maybe she could pay a little more than half, I believe that his suggested split is in no way reasonable.
Load More Replies...
El MasChingon 3 years ago
yeah dude you are a f*****g idiot, how is she a gold-digger if she wants everything 50/50? it sounds like this relationship is already headed for a down fall if you are already worried about money and you aren't even married or engaged.
Minath 3 years ago
I think an equal split is fair since they both have a requirement which increases the cost of rent. If they break up and she is paying more then she will have less money in her savings because she was subsidising him. She would come out of the arrangement a lot worse off than him. Personally, I would be walking away from a guy who called me a gold digger based on him potentially earning more than me in 5 years time, not to mention the massive student loans medical students often build up. He is showing his partner a lot of disrespect and is already trying to control the finances.
Vanja Vidovic 3 years ago
Plus he obviously ignores the fact that her business can thrive and grow within 5 years so she might be earning more than him even in the future.
Load More Replies...
Happy_Pandalover 3 years ago
I don‘t see how she is selfish or a gold digger. If two adult people share an apartment, the „fair“ thing is to split costs 50/50. What are his plans once he makes 350k a year? Is he willing to pay 100% of the rent then because he‘s the bigger earner and saves gas? I think not, so 50/50 now is just fair imo.
Poeha 3 years ago (edited)
I think so. Why else would he make a problem of it? He expects her to pay more, cause she makes more and later he will pay more, except when she now wants to keep her money for herself. They're both too interested in money. My mom made 75 a month in the 50s and she paid everything, so my dad could go study and later she could become a housewife. Give and receive. Throw it on one bunch. These 2 already have more than enough and want even more.
Load More Replies...
Mary Jeffries 3 years ago
That phrase “gold digger” sounds like one he’s going to throw around a lot in the future.
Earl Grey 3 years ago (edited)
Classic present future value investment decision. If he is soooo confident of his future opportunities, all he has to do to get what they both want is sign over a promissory note in the payback amount plus interest and get it notarized, backed by an irrevocable life insurance policy in that same amount with her as the sole beneficiary. Win/Win. She pays now, then he or his estate will have to true-up later. I do not see any financial problem here if they are both serious and committed partners with at least a medium-term outlook.
Deborah B 3 years ago
Splitting the expenses proportionally is for when the higher-earning partner (married or unmarried) is asking for a more expensive lifestyle. It's so the lower earner isn't struggling to pay half of a lifestyle beyond their means. If the higher earner thinks this is inequitable, then the budget is set as twice what the lower earner can afford, and each pay half. I can see where the guy is coming from in terms of the rent spit, but he's an a*****e for calling her a gold digger, and acting like she's being unfair: she has said she's willing to go for cheaper places - he's the one wanting an expensive area. Instead, he should be saying "If we each put in $700 (what he wants to pay) that gives us a $1400 budget" and looking at places where that's realistic, as a starting point for negotiation. If he could show that a one bedroom flat in his area was $1400, she might be willing to put in extra for a home office. Instead he's showing entitlement and contempt, and she should dump his a*s.
Vanja Vidovic 3 years ago
But he needs her because he is a golddigger and cannot afford that place by himself.
Load More Replies... sturmwesen 3 years ago
Finally:a hard question. They are both right. Why should she pay for a location she does not need? Why should the OP pay for her extra room? I would say it cancels each other out and they both pay 50%.
Parmeisan 3 years ago
I think the extra bedroom and the location are a red herring as everyone including OP feel that they cancel each other out. His problem is that he thinks he's "all that" because he *might* finish school and *might* get a better-paying job and they *might* still be together at that point. That's a lot of mights, and while I can see his point and maybe she could pay a little more than half, I believe that his suggested split is in no way reasonable.
Load More Replies... El MasChingon 3 years ago
yeah dude you are a f*****g idiot, how is she a gold-digger if she wants everything 50/50? it sounds like this relationship is already headed for a down fall if you are already worried about money and you aren't even married or engaged.
Minath 3 years ago
I think an equal split is fair since they both have a requirement which increases the cost of rent. If they break up and she is paying more then she will have less money in her savings because she was subsidising him. She would come out of the arrangement a lot worse off than him. Personally, I would be walking away from a guy who called me a gold digger based on him potentially earning more than me in 5 years time, not to mention the massive student loans medical students often build up. He is showing his partner a lot of disrespect and is already trying to control the finances.
Vanja Vidovic 3 years ago
Plus he obviously ignores the fact that her business can thrive and grow within 5 years so she might be earning more than him even in the future.
Load More Replies... Happy_Pandalover 3 years ago
I don‘t see how she is selfish or a gold digger. If two adult people share an apartment, the „fair“ thing is to split costs 50/50. What are his plans once he makes 350k a year? Is he willing to pay 100% of the rent then because he‘s the bigger earner and saves gas? I think not, so 50/50 now is just fair imo.
Poeha 3 years ago (edited)
I think so. Why else would he make a problem of it? He expects her to pay more, cause she makes more and later he will pay more, except when she now wants to keep her money for herself. They're both too interested in money. My mom made 75 a month in the 50s and she paid everything, so my dad could go study and later she could become a housewife. Give and receive. Throw it on one bunch. These 2 already have more than enough and want even more.
Load More Replies... Mary Jeffries 3 years ago
That phrase “gold digger” sounds like one he’s going to throw around a lot in the future.
Earl Grey 3 years ago (edited)
Classic present future value investment decision. If he is soooo confident of his future opportunities, all he has to do to get what they both want is sign over a promissory note in the payback amount plus interest and get it notarized, backed by an irrevocable life insurance policy in that same amount with her as the sole beneficiary. Win/Win. She pays now, then he or his estate will have to true-up later. I do not see any financial problem here if they are both serious and committed partners with at least a medium-term outlook.
Deborah B 3 years ago
Splitting the expenses proportionally is for when the higher-earning partner (married or unmarried) is asking for a more expensive lifestyle. It's so the lower earner isn't struggling to pay half of a lifestyle beyond their means. If the higher earner thinks this is inequitable, then the budget is set as twice what the lower earner can afford, and each pay half. I can see where the guy is coming from in terms of the rent spit, but he's an a*****e for calling her a gold digger, and acting like she's being unfair: she has said she's willing to go for cheaper places - he's the one wanting an expensive area. Instead, he should be saying "If we each put in $700 (what he wants to pay) that gives us a $1400 budget" and looking at places where that's realistic, as a starting point for negotiation. If he could show that a one bedroom flat in his area was $1400, she might be willing to put in extra for a home office. Instead he's showing entitlement and contempt, and she should dump his a*s.
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