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“Don’t Want To Lose Our Relationship”: Man Loses It On GF When She Refuses Open Relationship
Couple sitting apart on bed looking upset, illustrating tension and conflict in a relationship about open relationship refusal.

“Don’t Want To Lose Our Relationship”: Man Loses It On GF When She Refuses Open Relationship

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Ethical non-monogamy has been on the rise in recent years. More and more people are opening up their relationships, living as throuples, and openly seeking the type of connections that satisfy their needs.

However, this kind of arrangement can only work if everyone involved is a consenting adult who know what they’re getting themselves into. And unfortunately, that’s not always the case. One woman was blindsided by her partner’s suggestion to venture into an open relationship. So in an effort to move forward with her relationship, she reached out to Reddit for advice. Keep reading to find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.

RELATED:

    Ethical-non monogamy is becoming more and more popular. However, it is still a tough subject to broach with your partner

    Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)

    In this story, a man approached his girlfriend about opening up their relationship. But he wasn’t expecting the reaction he got

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    Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Unlucky_Life_7482

    The boyfriend might not have handled the conversation correctly

    While the woman doesn’t detail how exactly their conversation about an open relationship went down, it might be that there were a lot of questions left unanswered.

    When approaching such a touchy subject, one has to explain a lot of things. The boyfriend was supposed to put all his cards on the table and say why he wants to open the relationship. At the same time, he had to be very reassuring that his love and connection to his current partner would not diminish either. He also had to clarify that he did not act upon it yet and define what fidelity would mean to him from now on.

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    But even if everything is laid out correctly, the partner might still express a lot of hesitation. This is understandable as it’s all completely new information to them.

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    The ultimatum and the blame that came after is really what ruined it all

    The aftermath of the conversation was the place where the boyfriend was supposed to shine. He had to show that he is lenient and try to simply keep the conversation open. Figuring out such things might take a while, after all. His decision to create a strict boundary where it wasn’t before and make an ultimatum right away was a big misstep. No surprise it made his girlfriend recoil from the idea of an open relationship completely.

    The blame and manipulation that came after made him even more of a jerk. This is a sign of immaturity that shows that he wasn’t prepared for the open relationship in the first place.

    Technically, the couple still has a chance of salvaging the relationship. It will need a lot of honest communication but it’s doable. They might need some help from a therapist but if they wish to do so, they might still stay together. The question is, would either of them want this at this point.

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    Many agreed that the woman did the right thing, and there was no way she was the jerk in this situation

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    Poll Question

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    Adelaide May Ross

    Adelaide May Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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    Adelaide May Ross

    Adelaide May Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    What do you think ?
    Wagner
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My darling, he's already cheating on you. He wants his cake and to eat it too. Good for you for saying no. But get tested and run from this person.

    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He doesn't want an open relationship. He wants to keep the current girlfriend as backup for if things go sour with the new one. If she found a new partner when the relationship was 'opened' I bet he'd be singing a very different tune. I hope she left this t‍urd.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A successful open relationship requires a lot of communication and check ins with partnersand making sure everyone is ok etc this guy doesn't care if his primary partner is in tears, an open relationship will only be worse. Time to move on

    Load More Comments
    Wagner
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My darling, he's already cheating on you. He wants his cake and to eat it too. Good for you for saying no. But get tested and run from this person.

    Emilu
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He doesn't want an open relationship. He wants to keep the current girlfriend as backup for if things go sour with the new one. If she found a new partner when the relationship was 'opened' I bet he'd be singing a very different tune. I hope she left this t‍urd.

    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A successful open relationship requires a lot of communication and check ins with partnersand making sure everyone is ok etc this guy doesn't care if his primary partner is in tears, an open relationship will only be worse. Time to move on

    Load More Comments
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