Retired Mom Refuses To Babysit Daughter’s Newborn For Free, Daughter Turns To The Internet For Support But Gets A Reality Check Instead
A 29-year-old woman and a mom to a newborn turned to the AITA community on Reddit for a moral judgment.
“I asked my mom to help me take care of my newborn so I could go back to work once my leave is up,” the Redditor who goes by the nickname erika_urrrika explained. She also added that her mom, who is 64, has been “a homemaker/stay-at-home-mom since 1992, and hasn’t been part of the workforce since then.”
The author saw it as a perfect plan since she had financial problems, including debts waiting to be covered as well as saving for a more spacious apartment for when the baby grows.
However, to the Redditor’s surprise, the mom refused to help her with raising her baby and now the author wonders if it’s too big of a thing to expect from her mom.
A 29-year-old woman asks if she was wrong to expect her homemaker mom to look after her newborn baby because she needs to get back to work
Image credits: Hollie Santos (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Credits: erika_urrrika
Many people thought that the author was wrong to expect her mom to look after her baby
Well, if the mom living 15 minutes away has been there just once in 5 years they most likely haven't the warmest relationship.
Absolutely! Makes her an even bigger A.
How, wouldn't her mom be the A for only coming over once
Depends on why she hasn't been over, right? Like, my sister living about 15min away has only been over twice in 4 years, but she is very busy, and she has a house we can ALL come to for celebrations, while we have a 3-bedroom apartment with up to 3 children and a cat. It's just more comfortable for us to come there than the other way around. But my brother in law, living an hour away, hasn't visited his grandma once in the same time span, because she takes his uncle's side in bullying his mother (my mother in law). So he's not seeing her because SHE'S not nice enough for his standard. So, without additional info, I'd really NOT call the mother an A for not visiting.
1st thought that came to mind!
So she didn't discuss her plans with her mother before she had a child, and just assumed that her mom will just happily accept all unpaid childcare duties? The sheer audacity of this woman.
And she and her mom don't seem all that close either. She lives 15 minutes away and has come to your house once in 5 years? And I'm sure she knew you were pregnant and, by the sounds of it, Mom never offered future sitting services in those 9 months. I think the OP is possibly dilutional.
How do you not plan childcare before you have the baby? Either you pay someone, or you or your partner stays home with the baby. If she's the high wage earner, then she and her partner need to work out whether it's more cost-effective for him to stay at home with the baby, or for them to pay for daycare.
The time just flew by, they didn't have time to plan! /s
My real question is how do they have so much debt and now added in the money sink of a kid. I make a fraction of what they make and have more kids and have a fraction of their debt. I lived in a one bedroom until my oldest was 2 because we couldn't afford bigger. Bigger problems than grandma and a kid.
My guess is the IVF. Super expensive. She said it took 9 years to get pregnant.
That's even more perplexing then. Who spends tons of money trying to get pregnant with NO ability to pay for the child after?
BTW, she is 29 NOW, so she decided to get pregnant at 20 and didn't stop to think and grow up for once in those 9 years! Like, I absolutely get the child wish, but you have to be your own person and provider before you bring another person into the mix, right?!? It's one thing to get pregnant young and handle things, it's another to just decide you have to have a baby before all else!
Stay at home orders lasted 2 years. Many had babies just because of this, the problem sorted itself out
Well, if the mom living 15 minutes away has been there just once in 5 years they most likely haven't the warmest relationship.
Absolutely! Makes her an even bigger A.
How, wouldn't her mom be the A for only coming over once
Depends on why she hasn't been over, right? Like, my sister living about 15min away has only been over twice in 4 years, but she is very busy, and she has a house we can ALL come to for celebrations, while we have a 3-bedroom apartment with up to 3 children and a cat. It's just more comfortable for us to come there than the other way around. But my brother in law, living an hour away, hasn't visited his grandma once in the same time span, because she takes his uncle's side in bullying his mother (my mother in law). So he's not seeing her because SHE'S not nice enough for his standard. So, without additional info, I'd really NOT call the mother an A for not visiting.
1st thought that came to mind!
So she didn't discuss her plans with her mother before she had a child, and just assumed that her mom will just happily accept all unpaid childcare duties? The sheer audacity of this woman.
And she and her mom don't seem all that close either. She lives 15 minutes away and has come to your house once in 5 years? And I'm sure she knew you were pregnant and, by the sounds of it, Mom never offered future sitting services in those 9 months. I think the OP is possibly dilutional.
How do you not plan childcare before you have the baby? Either you pay someone, or you or your partner stays home with the baby. If she's the high wage earner, then she and her partner need to work out whether it's more cost-effective for him to stay at home with the baby, or for them to pay for daycare.
The time just flew by, they didn't have time to plan! /s
My real question is how do they have so much debt and now added in the money sink of a kid. I make a fraction of what they make and have more kids and have a fraction of their debt. I lived in a one bedroom until my oldest was 2 because we couldn't afford bigger. Bigger problems than grandma and a kid.
My guess is the IVF. Super expensive. She said it took 9 years to get pregnant.
That's even more perplexing then. Who spends tons of money trying to get pregnant with NO ability to pay for the child after?
BTW, she is 29 NOW, so she decided to get pregnant at 20 and didn't stop to think and grow up for once in those 9 years! Like, I absolutely get the child wish, but you have to be your own person and provider before you bring another person into the mix, right?!? It's one thing to get pregnant young and handle things, it's another to just decide you have to have a baby before all else!
Stay at home orders lasted 2 years. Many had babies just because of this, the problem sorted itself out