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When your partner tells you you've been sleep talking, it's as scary as it is intriguing. Did you reveal any secrets? Maybe you came up with the recipe for the elixir of immortality? One guy in Wichita, Kansas is talking so much and so amusingly in his sleep that his girlfriend eventually decided to start tweeting his phrases, and our funny bones can't thank her enough.

From asking a penguin for his pancakes to revealing that he's Jon Snow in disguise, this guy says so many ridiculously hilarious things, he deserves his own talk show. The Twitter account his girlfriend uses (@Sleep_Sayings) has racked up over 14,000 followers, and it deserves every single one of them. Scroll down to read some of the funniest things his unconscious mind had to say and vote for your favorites!

#1

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Misterscooter
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy's real dream is to write a sitcom.

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    #4

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    #5

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    silem arod
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Either he hates Steve Jobs or he refers to the forbidden apple. Or just the apple hahahahahahaha

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    #6

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Maike
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    there must be some ents somewhere

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    #7

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    #10

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    #12

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    A Ghost
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone get him his dinosaurs back!

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    #13

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    Queen Ro$ie
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to fly on a parasol too, bro, I feel you

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    #15

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    #18

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    #25

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    Lara B.
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone forgot to censor the second f*ck 8-)

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    #26

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    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THEY ARENT ACTUALLY FRENCH FRIES THEYRE FROM BELGIUM...that's a thing you now know

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    #27

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    Maike
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    allright i will never do it again!

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    #28

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Things i now know about him 1. He love Teenage mutant ninja turtles 2. He probably got a dog 3. He don't like burritos(?) 4. Lots of imagination :P

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    #31

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    #32

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    weirdly enough i was eating one 0-0

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    #33

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    Socially Awkward
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What kind of messed up dreams is this guy having?

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    #34

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    Cerys Dunbar
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the babies are getting you back for nicking their nose

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    #38

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    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    gotta watch those lobsters i mean have you seen the claw whee

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    #40

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    Thundor Fox
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, how could you fall asleep in the middle of my lecture on rabbits?

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    #41

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    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ok I think I can relate to that???????????????????????

    #42

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    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ok and the job is bell boy at the local hotel

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    #44

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    Anne Glare
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does that mean you're the princess of s**t or just not a very good princess?

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    #45

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    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    give the duck back it is his remote not yours

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    #46

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    Marnee DeRider
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks goodness he's a sleep-talker, not a sleep-walker

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    #47

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    Emily Williams
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn bears....always trying to shank people....

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    #50

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    #56

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you mean the spaghetti-hair-meatballs?

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    #57

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    Lara B.
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know someone who wants to build a wall. The tallest!

    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you wanna dig a deep hole? Come on, it'll be fuuuun

    mewmew34
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    CAH already bug a pretty big hole, so you've got a lot of work to beat them!

    Kirk Ruocco
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    is he gonna make texas pay for it?

    David Maxwell
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought he only had an inch....

    KT Trondsen
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who hasn't wanted to do this at some point in their life??

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    #59

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    Lara B.
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're welcome! (for whatever reason...)

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    #61

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    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What? the Burrito? Nacho Cheese? We'll never know!

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    #63

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    #66

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't keep your turtle on all night!

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    #68

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    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK, the guy can be a real d**k, even in his sleep.

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    #71

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    Thundor Fox
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No one actually gets this far to comment anything

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    #72

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    Marnee DeRider
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What on earth is this guy seeing? His girlfriend should plug into his head and display the dreams in video.

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    #77

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    Jodie Fraser
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The duck with the apple probably stole his leg.

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    #94

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    Kirk Ruocco
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He eats bullets for breakfast.... PREPARE MY BROWN PANTS!

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    #95

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    Fanwarrior
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when the person who ALWAYS messes up offers to do something

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    #96

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    Kirk Ruocco
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    even clubs cant stop him..... i have seen death an its a guy talking in his sleep

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    #98

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    rai mei
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i believe he's dreaming he's a cat who keeps knocking down things to the floor

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    #100

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    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ostrich? The Dinosaurs? The Pig? I know its not Caitlin.

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    #110

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    Shannan Paige
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe this one should have been kept private.

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