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When your partner tells you you've been sleep talking, it's as scary as it is intriguing. Did you reveal any secrets? Maybe you came up with the recipe for the elixir of immortality? One guy in Wichita, Kansas is talking so much and so amusingly in his sleep that his girlfriend eventually decided to start tweeting his phrases, and our funny bones can't thank her enough.

From asking a penguin for his pancakes to revealing that he's Jon Snow in disguise, this guy says so many ridiculously hilarious things, he deserves his own talk show. The Twitter account his girlfriend uses (@Sleep_Sayings) has racked up over 14,000 followers, and it deserves every single one of them. Scroll down to read some of the funniest things his unconscious mind had to say and vote for your favorites!

#1

Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

Sleep_Sayings Report

Misterscooter
Community Member
8 years ago

This guy's real dream is to write a sitcom.

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    #2

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Last2Know
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    This is sort of genius

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    #3

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    wtf? hentai???

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    #4

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    get him some pancakes penguin

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    #5

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    silem arod
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Either he hates Steve Jobs or he refers to the forbidden apple. Or just the apple hahahahahahaha

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    #6

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Maike
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    there must be some ents somewhere

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    #7

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    What did he do to it??

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    #8

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    DaisyAppreciation
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Always respect the toilets people

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    #9

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Blue? Red?

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    #10

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Socially Awkward
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    What if the duck doesn't know? Then what?

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    #11

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Socially Awkward
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Um...

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    #12

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    A Ghost
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Someone get him his dinosaurs back!

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    #13

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Queen Ro$ie
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    I want to fly on a parasol too, bro, I feel you

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    #14

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Misterscooter
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Must be some tasty pants.

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    #15

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Misterscooter
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    My cat's breath smells like cat food.

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    Never miss a story that brings joy to the world. Add us on Google

    #16

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Debbie Andersson
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    ...I hope he isn´t dreaming about the future.

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    #17

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Elina Kuusisto
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    I hate it when that happens!

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    #18

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    wear the burrito???

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    #19

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Alia Gail
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    come down from there fido

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    #20

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Queen Ro$ie
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    YEEET TIGERS

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    #21

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    O.o

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    #22

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    teenage mutant ninja turtles yesss

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    #23

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Hayley Lightcap
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    I tell my cats that all the time

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    #24

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Agnes Jekyll
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Excellent! I hate school exam dreams.

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    #25

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Lara B.
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Someone forgot to censor the second f*ck 8-)

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    #26

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    THEY ARENT ACTUALLY FRENCH FRIES THEYRE FROM BELGIUM...that's a thing you now know

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    #27

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Maike
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    allright i will never do it again!

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    #28

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Things i now know about him 1. He love Teenage mutant ninja turtles 2. He probably got a dog 3. He don't like burritos(?) 4. Lots of imagination :P

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    #29

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Wise words

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    #30

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    DaisyAppreciation
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    These toenails just won't do 😕

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    #31

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    H4unt3dF0r3sts
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    NOT THE GUACAMOLE. NEVER THE GUACAMOLE.

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    #32

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    weirdly enough i was eating one 0-0

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    #33

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Socially Awkward
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    What kind of messed up dreams is this guy having?

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    #34

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Cerys Dunbar
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    the babies are getting you back for nicking their nose

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    #35

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Socially Awkward
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    All hail the pig! 🐷

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    #36

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Alia Gail
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Hold on little guy

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    #37

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Lara B.
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Was it successful?

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    #38

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    gotta watch those lobsters i mean have you seen the claw whee

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    #39

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    get it back!

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    #40

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Thundor Fox
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Honestly, how could you fall asleep in the middle of my lecture on rabbits?

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    #41

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    ok I think I can relate to that???????????????????????

    #42

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    ok and the job is bell boy at the local hotel

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    #43

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    he is always your co driver

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    #44

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Anne Glare
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Does that mean you're the princess of s**t or just not a very good princess?

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    #45

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    give the duck back it is his remote not yours

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    #46

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Marnee DeRider
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Thanks goodness he's a sleep-talker, not a sleep-walker

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    #47

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    poor lonely you me and my pillow are mates

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    #48

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    kissing would be more dangerous

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    #49

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Emily Williams
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Damn bears....always trying to shank people....

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    #50

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Cerys Dunbar
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    someone make a story out of this

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    #51

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Susan Westmoreland
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Then how can you locate the remote?

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    #52

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Thegreatcountryofverden
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    I'm guessing he was in a war in his dream?

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    #53

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Desiré Yen
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Best u ask Pennywise that question!

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    #54

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Lara B.
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Poor you :(

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    #55

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Cerys Dunbar
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    but not the ducks???

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    #56

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    you mean the spaghetti-hair-meatballs?

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    #57

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Lara B.
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    I know someone who wants to build a wall. The tallest!

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    #58

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    ...and "I'm Jon Snow!"

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    #59

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Lara B.
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    You're welcome! (for whatever reason...)

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    #60

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Alia Gail
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    yep

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    #61

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    What? the Burrito? Nacho Cheese? We'll never know!

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    #62

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Victoria Rey Piuma
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    😂😂😂😂😂

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    #63

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    no the fridge man wants his pennies

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    #64

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    And he plays D&D

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    #65

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Agnes Jekyll
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    lots of legs in his dreams

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    #66

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Community Member
    8 years ago

    You can't keep your turtle on all night!

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    #67

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Paul Kwon
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Hi Hawaii, I'm Dad.

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    #68

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    down boy down stop playing with the mustard

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    #69

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    OK, the guy can be a real d**k, even in his sleep.

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    #70

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Anna Brown
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    back to the clowns are we?

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    #71

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Thundor Fox
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    No one actually gets this far to comment anything

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    #72

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Marnee DeRider
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    What on earth is this guy seeing? His girlfriend should plug into his head and display the dreams in video.

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    #73

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    mayanaise
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    lol, i love it all

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    #74

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Poor unfortunate soul
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Maybe because the little fish died :(

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    #75

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Jason
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Genius!

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    #76

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Whoever Stole his Dinosaurs !

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    #77

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    ukoms
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    valid question at any given time

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    #78

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Jade Lorreni💜💙
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Give him back his dinosaurs!!!!!!!!!!!

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    #79

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Jason
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Me everyday

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    #80

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    "It's a trap!"

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    #81

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    um well it wrote the wrong word

    #82

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    no not mayo but vanilla

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    #83

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Jade Lorreni💜💙
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    They have the biggest hole

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    #84

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Aaron Smith
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Of course you're Jon Snow.

    #85

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Zorka Eli
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    he loves that pillow :D

    #86

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Maybe he can get his dinosaurs there.

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    #87

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Fanwarrior
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Make what?! I'm genuinely curious

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    #88

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Trevor is one weird donkey

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    #89

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    rai mei
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    SAW part VII

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    #90

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Gillian Black
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    oh yeah blame the female

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    #91

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Socially Awkward
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    I thought the pig was king

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    #92

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Jason
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Another mosquito bite huh?

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    #93

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Jodie Fraser
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    The duck with the apple probably stole his leg.

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    #94

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Kirk Ruocco
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    He eats bullets for breakfast.... PREPARE MY BROWN PANTS!

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    #95

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Fanwarrior
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    when the person who ALWAYS messes up offers to do something

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    #96

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Kirk Ruocco
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    even clubs cant stop him..... i have seen death an its a guy talking in his sleep

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    #97

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    Fanwarrior
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Did he run over something?

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    #98

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Poor Trevor, the weird a*s, is now lame.

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    #99

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

    Sleep_Sayings Report

    rai mei
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    i believe he's dreaming he's a cat who keeps knocking down things to the floor

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    #100

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Fanwarrior
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Is he dreaming about being a cat?

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    #101

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Angie Young
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    He's Jon Snow. He's on the Night Watch.

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    #102

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    And the pig is back

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    #103

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Jason
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    OKAY!

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    #104

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Danny Waller
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    The ostrich? The Dinosaurs? The Pig? I know its not Caitlin.

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    #105

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Jason
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Me too

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    #106

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Paul Kwon
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Oh, not again!

    #107

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Fanwarrior
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    What?!

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    #108

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Fanwarrior
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    famous last words...

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    #109

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Jason
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Why is this last?

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    #110

    Girlfriend-Tweets-Sleep-Talking-Boyfriend

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    Shannan Paige
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    Maybe this one should have been kept private.

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