Woman Makes Her Friend Leave Her Service Dog In The Backyard, Is Upset Everyone Hates Her For It After The Woman Gets A Concussion From A Seizure
Interview With Author
Many would say that dogs are angels on Earth and it’s hard to argue because when they come into our lives, they bring only joy and protect us from whatever evil comes our way.
They support us not only emotionally, but they are actually essential in assisting people with impaired eyesight and people who have epilepsy. However, not everyone knows of the important medical role they play in someone’s life and this woman had to go through a seizure without her service dog because her friend didn’t like it.
More info: Reddit
Some have dogs because it’s fun and they love them, while other dogs are there to protect their owners’ health, but this one wasn’t allowed
Image credits: Forest Service, USDA (not the actual photo)
The dog is supposed to support her owner during her epileptic seizures but a woman from her friend group didn’t want it in her home
Image credits: Rusty Clark ~ 100K Photos (not the actual photo)
The woman never believed that the dog was a true necessity and was convinced those seizures could be controlled
Image credits: Games for Change (not the actual photo)
The dog owner didn’t want the fight to continue and agreed to leave her service dog in the back yard
Image credits: Presidencia de la República Mexicana (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, she experienced a seizure that her dog would have warned her about and that caused her to get a concussion with a trip to the hospital
Image credits: throwaway9876402
The friend group ostracized the woman and now she and her mom are texting the dog owner demanding that she fix the situation
The Original Poster (OP) has epilepsy and has seizures regularly. Some of them are more mild and people surrounding her wouldn’t even notice them, while others are more serious and more similar to what we imagine a seizure looks like, which includes losing consciousness.
To know when a seizure is coming, the OP has her dog Bailey to help. She is fully trained and licensed as a service dog who warns the woman when a seizure is coming so she can find a safe place to have it without getting injured. In the comments the OP said that “She’ll stay with me while I’m having them and ensure I don’t get up until it’s safe to do so.”
You don’t really do anything separate from dogs with this duty because you never know when a seizure is coming and the dog does. But one of the people in her friend group doesn’t get that to be safe, the OP needs to take her dog everywhere.
That is why she freaked out when the woman brought Bailey to her house to a friend get-together. The friend was angry that the OP didn’t ask her if she could bring her dog and if she can’t live without it, then she shouldn’t have come.
Bored Panda reached out to Vincent, a tutor at the Service Dog Training School and he explained that in most countries laws that prohibit discrimination against service dog users usually apply for both public locations and private homes, “However, a private homeowner can think of other reasons why they do not want to welcome a service dog and these reasons can be valid.”
He agrees that “Since the person with the service dog was going to visit a private home she should have asked if she can bring the dog out of courtesy. Moreover, the service dog user appears to have been aware of the host’s distrust of dogs.”
When you’ve known a person for years and know that they have a dog that detects seizures which they have regularly, you might assume that they will come with the dog when you invite them over. At least, the OP thought so and didn’t think to warn her about Bailey.
When the host started berating the woman, other friends tried defending the OP, but she gave in and left Bailey outside. When Bored Panda contacted the Redditor, she told us that at the first she considered leaving but she felt that it would be an inconvenience, “I obviously can’t drive so I would of had to make my friend leave as well.”
But staying was not a very smart decision as the OP said both in the story and told Bored Panda as she actually experienced a seizure and smashed her head on the floor so hard that she had to go to the hospital, “I should’ve left though. It was extremely stupid and irresponsible of me to take a risk like that. Bailey is in my life for a reason and I should of just gone home.”
Vincent stresses that “A service dog user should not be separated from their dog for too long especially if the disabled person has cardiac problems, seizures or diabetes. A service dog can help alert their user of a potentially life-threatening medical emergency.”
And looking from an outsider’s perspective, he agrees that the woman shouldn’t have allowed Bailey to be separated from her, and although he realizes that “the service dog user would like to socialize as much as possible given her condition” it was safer to leave.
But the good news is that the OP is feeling better now, “I’m feeling much better. I was able to go home from the hospital the same night. Obviously I’ve had to be really mindful with my concussion but I’m healing and doing way better.”
You would think that the friend felt guilty for putting a person who is close to them in such danger, but instead she and her family started texting vile messages to the OP about having a seizure on purpose to prove her point after the friend group didn’t want to hang out with her due to her toxic behavior.
Actually, they cut her out from the friend group and that was the reason the woman’s family were writing her messages demanding that she fix the situation. The woman told us, “I ended up blocking my ex friend and her family. It wasn’t worth the drama to me. I sent her a last text essentially saying that I’m sorry our friends have decided to cut contact but this is not my fault. I wish her the best but I’m done with the friendship. ”
She also talked with the friend group about the situation, “They’ve told me it’s been a long time coming and just hate how she treats people. This was kinda just the final straw I guess so no one has contact with her anymore.”
The tutor at the Service Dog Training School isn’t aware of these kinds of situations when students “have reported significant altercations with friends and service providers in terms of accepting the service dog.” He added, “I have had only one student who had problems with their family not trusting the dog but that case is very rare (fortunately).” But he wouldn’t put the blame on the OP about this particular situation, “I would assume that the service dog user showed respect to the game night’s host and she is a kind person.”
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The thing that bothered the OP was that she saw that the ex-friend actually believed the dog was just for show, for attention and not necessary. Vincent told us that some people “need service dogs to function normally, go out with friends, visit their family and have better control over their life.” And he hopes that “society will become more receptive to owner-trained service dogs that change and sometimes save lives.”
The friend didn’t understand why the woman needed the dog and felt embarrassed every time she laid down to prevent getting a concussion from her seizure because in her understanding, seizures are something that can be controlled.
That is completely untrue because by definition, a seizure is “a sudden, uncontrolled burst of electrical activity in the brain.” You can manage the seizures caused by epilepsy and have fewer of them by taking medicine, having brain surgery, getting vagus nerve stimulation (VNS) or deep brain stimulation (DBS). A ketogenic diet also can help and there are other complementary therapies, but in reality, nothing can keep away a seizure for certain.
Among other things, epilepsy seizures and seizures in general are dangerous because they “can cause car crashes when they strike someone who’s driving. They can cause people to fall and hit their head or suffer a serious injury, too.” It is because people don’t really feel when a seizure is coming until it’s already started.
But dogs actually can, at least most of the time. According to the Epilepsy Foundation, a seizure dog may actually be more useful “in assisting a person during or after a seizure, but is not guaranteed to be able to ‘alert’ a person of an oncoming seizure.”
Actually, dogs are not trained to alert about a seizure. Instead they are trained to alert family members or caregivers when a person is already having a seizure.
They are trained to “lie next to someone having a seizure to prevent injury” and “to put their body between the seizing individual and the floor to break the fall at the start of a seizure.”
Another thing seizure dogs are trained for is to “to activate some kind of pre-programmed device, such as a pedal that rings an alarm.”
As psychologist Stanley Coren who specializes in the human-animal bond said, “Dogs can’t be trained to predict seizures simply because we have not known what information the dogs are using to know that a seizure is about to occur.”
Somehow they still sense it and they will warn their owners about it. The poster of the story is proof as she didn’t complain about Bailey ever missing a seizure, and there are more known cases, so you can’t deny that they sense something.
Scientists theorize that maybe they are able to detect minor changes in human behavior or the way they move. Maybe they sense a change of smell that occurs because of metabolic stress before the seizure or they actually feel the magnetic effects as a seizure is caused by “a burst of uncontrolled electrical activity between brain cells.“
It’s quite fascinating how dogs are so sensitive to such things and how essential for some people they are for survival. It’s a shame that not everyone is aware of it, but do you think that it’s the service dog owner’s job to educate people?
Do you think the OP should have warned the host about bringing her dog? Or do you think it was just common sense that she would because they have known each other for a long time? Let us know in the comments.
Readers thought it was good riddance and were sorry that the dog owner was injured
Ana's family wants Op to fix this--like how or what should Op do? "I'm sorry that I have a seizure"? That ” I won't have anymore seizures in front of Ana because it embarrasses her"? Do these people even hear themselves?
Like "I'm sorry your daughter's/sister's friends all found what a raging narcissistic @$$hø£€ she is, but that monkey won't go back in its cage once it's been let out."
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This is why I have to take regular breaks from the internet: s**t like this makes me wish violent car crashes on people like this disability shaming a*****e. But I know that's wrong and I have to adjust my emotions. Car crashes could well involve innocent people, after all.
There are enough of them to crash into each other so we can just eliminate the innocents being injured in the scenario... no worries!
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Wow. At first, I thought maybe Anna is confusing emotional support animals with working service animals but nope. Just someone who doesn't want to be around 'different' people. She needs some therapy to get over her insecurities if she's embarrassed by her epileptic friend having seizures
Anna seems very shallow and self centered. If you have a friend with a health issue you would care enough to know what it means and enough about them to understand what management of the issue means for them. She is not a friend, there is no loss in going no contact with her.
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If OP could control her seizures, don't you think she would have done that by now? As well as all the OTHER people that need service animals to control THEIR seizures that can't be just with medicine. OMG, Anna needs to get a reality check.
This makes me furious! I'm epileptic, though fortunately mine is more controlled than the OPs. Anna is TA for several reasons, not the least of which is that she has probably faced ableism all her life - and internalized ableism is probably why she questioned whether she was out of line. OP's epilepsy is so severe that she has a service dog - and has had two. Epilepsy dogs are incredibly difficult to find, because seizure sensitivity is rare, and isn't predominate in any one breed. OP and her doctor are also considering surgery. Here's how that works. First, they admit you to the hospital. They attach you to an EEG machine (not too bad) and then take you off ALL your medications. You're pretty much confined to bed at that point. After they have continual data for a week (or more), they either sever the connections in your brain to isolate the damaged area, or remove that part of your brain altogether. After you recover from brain surgery, they have to monitor your closely
(Continued) which means more hospital time, so they can tell how successful they've been, whether an how much medication you might need, because even taking out a portion of your brain doesn't guarantee success. OP is NTA, but Anna is a horrific human being who doesn't deserve to have any friends, ever.
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I worked with children and adults who had seizure disorders, my ex-husband and son in law had/have epilepsy. YOU DO NOT ask some one to place their adaptive medical appliance(wheelchair, crutches, hearing aids, service dogs, etc.) Outside because you have a problem with it. If your friend Ana or her family have a problem, let them go talk to a Dr. Your other friends are the real friends, she us not. Don't give her or her family the time of day and block them.
When I was terrified of dogs, even I understood working/service dogs were different. I'd give them a wide berth, and would still be terrified, but I still understood they were doing a job. The only reason i would ban service animals from my home is allergies. Im definitely allergic to cats. I discovered this because of blood tests to co firm the allergy following a reaction bad enough to send me to bed for 2 or 3 days with flu like symptoms. This was after 5 minutes of petting a cat, followed moments later with washing my hands. All whilst also on strong daily antihistamines prescribed for a different allergy. I haven't yet discovered if I've developed an allergy to dogs since last being around some (the cat allergy wasn't there in 2019, but was in 2020), but if I have, then yeah, I'd have to ban all dogs from my home for obvious reasons, including service dogs. But if it was a situation like this, I'd also work with op to be able to minimise risk of injury if she did have a seizur
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I’m curious what exactly Anna A*****e’s family thinks SHE should do to make it up? Because that’s something for Anna A*****e to do, NOT the OP, who is the person who was wronged, and ended up in the f*****g hospital because Anna A*****e didn’t want OP’s SERVICE DOG inside. Yeah, OP. Take them to the cleaners for this s**t. Publicly shame them, take them to court, whatever it takes to drive the point home.
Ah yes. Those people who think medical conditions, specifically diagnosed ones, are attention seeking, lies, being lazy and things to just get over. I will these people to find a volcano and throw themselves in it. They'll get over it.
Service dogs rarely "inconvenience" people. A*****e "friends" almost always do.
NTA. I'm pretty sure Anna is a psychopath. What kind of a lunatic makes someone else's health all about them? She doesn't deserve friends.
Your seizure was your body's way of saying "kindly, f**k you lady." (To the so called friend). I'll never understand why people get so upset about well trained animals that are literally for others health. It's unfortunate you had to go through that without your doggo. I hope Anna has learned her lesson not matter how embarrassed she is about it. (She won't give up and admit she was in the wrong cause she's too embarrassed of herself.) Glad you had real friends there who put her in her place!
NTAH. You need Bailey. I would not turn you and Bailey away, I would not turn any service dog away. I teach my kids not to pet service dogs and inform them of the JOB the dogs are doing for their human. Having said that I would like to mention an experience I witnessed; Where a woman bought vests for her 2 little dogs so she could bring them anywhere. It just so happens that she entered an DAS (domestic abuse shelter) with her dogs. Also, at the same period of time there was a blind woman in the shelter that had an actual service dog. The little dogs encountered the large service dog in the hallway and attacked the Blind womans service dog. So yeah some people who abuse the system buying those vests online give me pause to how open I am about encountering service dogs anywhere. We need to stop those people with that practice. It's not fair to people who actually need/have service dogs.
This is the worst kind of ableism. This is like forcing a wheelchair user to crawl around and leave their chair in the garage because you hate how it looks. Then doubling down when they injure themself because you took away their mobility aid.
Why would "Anna" plan to have this group, including the person who has a service dog, to her home for a get-together? She's been stewing about OP's situation, being passive-aggressive with her comments, but she couldn't control OP in other settings. So she decided to deal with OP on her own turf, where she could put her foot down about the dog and embarrass OP. Thankfully, it backfired in several ways, and Ana was exposed as the disrespectful jerk she is. Good for OP and her real friends. But OP should never allow anyone to pressure her to put Bailey in the corner again. Give them the option, Bailey stays - or I go.
Is this lady living in a remote cave? I can't believe she is not only ignorant but also mean about OP needing service dog when she has regular seizures. Attention, seriously!? 😐
Ana, and her family, are the AH's of year. The only way OP "can fix this" is if they find her a time machine and change history. Ana still thinks OP is a faker and attention-seeker. That's why they think it can be "fixed". This level of ignorance and attitude speaks volumes about Ana and her family. Ana brought this on herself. She's the only one who might "fix this". Unfortunately she still doesn't understand that she was wrong, and endangered OP's health and life. She thinks OP is a faker, because she's a faker, a false friend. She showed her true colors that game night. She gambled with a friend's well-being and lost her circle of friends. Ana has learned nothing. She didn't think she did anything wrong.
OP tried to be accommodating to keep the peace at the party, and feels badly about the outcome. And she didn't say anything wrong. OP, your friends have learned the Ana is willing to throw each of you under the bus for not fitting into her narrow understanding of the world. Only Ana could fix this situation, or at least try to. Even if she understood, and t tried to make amendsfor, her error; it's probably too late
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What a stupid non-question. "This friend I've never seen without a service dog, I can't believe she showed up with a service dog" and downhill from there. Why waste your breath on such people?
Your better than I am,I would have just told her if my BFF doesn't stay that watches out 24/7 for me as a Service Dog,then I'm gone for good and one day she will realize it. They also save our lives in the Military/cops,by letting us know before bombers or people with guns even appear(basically extremely dangerous),as well as to just be a campion on a lonley day.
Wow...so sorry this happened to you and Bailey. Better off without Ana and her vicious family! I'm not a doctor, but I wanted to briefly share my sister's experience....She was diagnosed with epilepsy as a baby, and treated for 50 years with meds, with only questionable success. Several years ago, she went through some extensive testing and was found to have syncope, a heart problem. She got a pacemaker, and after a few adjustments has been doing great. No more seizures. The emotional toll of all those years has been tough on her, but she's working though it. Just thought it might be worth looking into if you haven't already. Wishing you the best.
My guess is that Anna may think that she is "faking" because not all of her seizures are serious. A small seizure (petit mal) may not even be noticeable to the average person as the only symptom is a blank stare. So she gets on the floor every time the dog alerts her and it might not be apparent to Anna that anything is actually happening. That said, ignorance is no excuse because with the internet it is easy to educate oneself and the rest of the friend group seems to understand what is happening. Aside from that, if Anna hadn't witnessed a full-blown seizure before, she has now. And yet her response is to double down on the ridiculous assertion that she faked a seizure that gave her a nasty concussion and sent her to the hospital. Something is not right with Anna. My guess is that she is a narcissist.
This person is clearly a jerk, but, TBH, I blame a part of this on how many people are claiming their animals are 'support' pets when they clearly aren't. They're making it harder for people who really need a support animal to be taken seriously because you just absolutely have to have your support parrot or iguana with you everywhere. I'm not saying that to downplay the need for support animals for people with psychological issues. My father has had a support animal for 10 years and the dog has a special harness that states he's a trained support animal and he keeps the documentation of such in the harness itself and he has no problem showing it to anyone who asks. Now, people are bringing their support 'cat' into a grocery store where people may have allergies and they're clearly not trained and they make a puddle on the floor, etc, and you aren't even allowed to question it. So more and more people are going to not take it seriously the more this is allowed.
Definitely NTA! I'm sorry that this happened to you. I hope that you are healing from the concussion I'm shocked and appalled by the actions of your self centered former friend and her family. Anna and her family members all need to find a therapist ASAP! They are absolutely acting like complete AHs. There is no excuse for this harassment! I'm so happy that the other people in your friend group are supporting you now. I'm so sorry that that they didn't stand up for you and Bailey before.
Anna sounds like the golden child in her family. An entitled, spoiled, and a narcissistic abelist, just like the rest of her family. What, exactly, was OP supposed to "fix"? The last time I checked, epilepsy wasn't a life choice. I (almost) feel sorry for Anna. There's the very real possibility that someday SHE could end up in a similar situation (glaucoma, profound hearing loss, PTSD). I'm willing to bet that she'll expect everyone to bow to her demands, and have an Oscar-worthy tantrum when they don't comply. She's already lost most of any kind of support system she might have.
By far you're not ta. Your fake friend is just that......not a friend. You need to sue her. Send her family research on epilepsy and service animals. Pray for them
I think you should have left that b.....s house and not put Bailey in the back yard. Ana sounds like a freaking idiot saying you had a seizure for attention. Block her mother and sister phone number so they can't send you anymore immature messages.
Ana is such an ignorant @$$h0!€. None of this is your fault. When someone gets as much in your face as she apparently did, it’s difficult because you just want them out of your face. I’m glad your friends feel the way they do and let her have it and no longer associate with her. That may be part of the fix-it thing. She blames you for the loss of friends. Block them all on your phone. If they keep at it in some other way, that’s harassment. Report it, bringing your evidence with you. We here in Canada are pretty strict about the whole harassment thing. Bailey is the bestest girl. Whomever it is, they accept the both of you or none of you. You are a team.
NTA Ana deserved the wake up call have her pay for your hospital bills\
I've never known anyone with epilepsy, but if I had a friend who had seizures, or even someone I just see regularly, I'd want to have a pad---like a camping bedroll pad---to put down on the floor for her to sit or lie down on until the seizure was over. That would be in my own home, of course, but I'd want her to feel safe, to know that she isn't going to go through it alone (with her service dog, of course!), and that, incompetent as I currently am, I'd be there to call for help for her. Nobody anywhere needs a "friend" like Anna! As the old saying goes, "With friends like that, who needs enemies?" I would also want to educate myself as much as possible on what the seizures do, and what I could do as a lay person until help arrives.
Like Anna just prob want attention but this s#1!t that's just wrong oh and i hope you, bailey, and your friends are better without her.
Oh my - nightmare situation. I have epilepsy, not to the depth of yours, I have Auras and I have a Golden Retriever who - well - knows when I am not well. I have had epilepsy for 15 years, if I have the type of seizure you have - it changes everything I have been fighting back for 15 years - Walter, my dog knows every breath I take Be strong and do not let anyone do that to you again - And - never trust someone who cannot connect with animals- it tells you who they are
I hate when people assume someone is faking a disability for attention. When my best friend started having seizures that was the first thing my mom said “oh she just wants attention”. Idk why I was surprised, since my mom thinks panic attacks and anxiety is also just attention seeking and people should “just stop thinking about it”. It’s always the people who think that the world revolves around them that think other people couldn’t possibly be dealing with anything that they haven’t experienced (because, obviously, their experience is the only one that exists /s)
This is when I wish we could add True photos of the AH stated. My lord she's a piece of work! I am not a dog person- I know- I'm terrible- but - I work in many diff places where service dogs happen to come in with their people. Never would I act like Ana! Never! I'm still cordial to the dog- always to the person- ask if I can supply water or anything extra... etc. but wow! Leave your service animal in the backyard?! So- had grandma come to be with you in case of emergencies- would she have grandma locked out back? My eye roll cannot get bigger or more dramatic! Also- I don't dislike dogs- had a bad experience once, kept open mind. But- for some reason- the universe feels they shouldn't live as long as humans- and I'm not ok with that. I stay away from pets- only bc I cannot take any more loss at this point in life. It's personal- I know... plz don't hate.
The OP did not "take" Anna's friends away. Anna was and is an AH and her friends no longer want to associate with AHs. I would make the same decision.
NTA. I have OCD-ish friends/family who I know would not want an animal in their homes. I have a dog, but not a service dog. If I had a service dog, I would just decline the invitation. Though these people are nothing like Anna. If someone showed up with a service dog, they would just suck it up and sterilize their house after the guests left. Lol
When I first saw this headline, I was prepared to give the OP a (very soft) ESH for not asking Ana's permission to bring Bailey, if only as a courtesy. However, upon reading about the frequency and severity of OP's seizures, I immediately revised my opinion. Anyone who is genuinely this person's friend must already realize that Bailey is not simply a "just in case" measure, his presence is a legitimate medical necessity. I agree with other posters who say that OP should just cut Ana and her whole toxic family out of her life. So NTA!
Its a service dog. The only reason you should have to check about bringing them is if someone in the house has an allergy.
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NTA, and this incident is grounds for a potential lawsuit! Anna would have to give an explanation as to why OP couldn't have the dog by her side to alert OP about the oncoming seizure, and this whole thing could've been prevented! But, since Anna and her family are trying to make OP "fix" something that wasn't in her power to do so, good thing OP blocked them, but she should consider suing her for it!
I wonder if Ana is scared of OP having seizures. So when Ana is scared by the seizure she lashes out. And uses the seizures and the fact that Bailey is around as an excuse to take out her insecurities. Either that or Ana is a narcissist.
I feel I need to address the service dog certification thing that was mentioned at the beginning. In the US there is NO certification or registration. Anyone in the US that shows any sort of paperwork stating their dog is certified or registered is either not from the US or is faking to get their untrained pet in wherever they go. There are websites all over the place touting $20 registration and certification even blasting "Take your pet with you" and "We'll certify any dog as a service dog" These are illegal and damaging to actual service dog teams, but there is no policing of proper service dogs or these websites. Other countries do have a certification/registration process for their actual service dogs that honestly we need to follow here in the US, there'd be fewer fake service dogs out there making trouble for actual service dog teams. And no your emotional support animal is not a service dog, read the ADA Law
I'm curious. Are you taking any medication for your seizures? I work in Neuro, so I deal with epileptic patients all the time.
I'm curious why you are asking? I'm epileptic, take 3 different meds for epilepsy and I still have seizures. The two different neurologist I see just haven't found the right meds for me, maybe she hasn't found the right one.
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You realise this dog is the equivalent of a medical device? Would you ask a friend to leave their wheelchair at home?
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Comparing allergies with epileptic seizures is ridiculous. The family can go to another room where they won't smell the dog. Someone stealing the dog is unlikely. Dogs don't tend to injure themselves playing or hanging out in grass. Dogs have fur that prevents them from being cold. Her dog goes everywhere with her, why would this be the day she leaves her dog at home? It was implied that she'd bring her dog, so a smart person wouldn't invite her if they had some huge issue with it. And the dog knew she was inside. Lmao. All of your scenarios are absurd.
Load More Replies... Ana's family wants Op to fix this--like how or what should Op do? "I'm sorry that I have a seizure"? That ” I won't have anymore seizures in front of Ana because it embarrasses her"? Do these people even hear themselves?
Like "I'm sorry your daughter's/sister's friends all found what a raging narcissistic @$$hø£€ she is, but that monkey won't go back in its cage once it's been let out."
Load More Replies... This is why I have to take regular breaks from the internet: s**t like this makes me wish violent car crashes on people like this disability shaming a*****e. But I know that's wrong and I have to adjust my emotions. Car crashes could well involve innocent people, after all.
There are enough of them to crash into each other so we can just eliminate the innocents being injured in the scenario... no worries!
Load More Replies... Wow. At first, I thought maybe Anna is confusing emotional support animals with working service animals but nope. Just someone who doesn't want to be around 'different' people. She needs some therapy to get over her insecurities if she's embarrassed by her epileptic friend having seizures
Anna seems very shallow and self centered. If you have a friend with a health issue you would care enough to know what it means and enough about them to understand what management of the issue means for them. She is not a friend, there is no loss in going no contact with her.
Load More Replies... If OP could control her seizures, don't you think she would have done that by now? As well as all the OTHER people that need service animals to control THEIR seizures that can't be just with medicine. OMG, Anna needs to get a reality check.
This makes me furious! I'm epileptic, though fortunately mine is more controlled than the OPs. Anna is TA for several reasons, not the least of which is that she has probably faced ableism all her life - and internalized ableism is probably why she questioned whether she was out of line. OP's epilepsy is so severe that she has a service dog - and has had two. Epilepsy dogs are incredibly difficult to find, because seizure sensitivity is rare, and isn't predominate in any one breed. OP and her doctor are also considering surgery. Here's how that works. First, they admit you to the hospital. They attach you to an EEG machine (not too bad) and then take you off ALL your medications. You're pretty much confined to bed at that point. After they have continual data for a week (or more), they either sever the connections in your brain to isolate the damaged area, or remove that part of your brain altogether. After you recover from brain surgery, they have to monitor your closely
(Continued) which means more hospital time, so they can tell how successful they've been, whether an how much medication you might need, because even taking out a portion of your brain doesn't guarantee success. OP is NTA, but Anna is a horrific human being who doesn't deserve to have any friends, ever.
Load More Replies... I worked with children and adults who had seizure disorders, my ex-husband and son in law had/have epilepsy. YOU DO NOT ask some one to place their adaptive medical appliance(wheelchair, crutches, hearing aids, service dogs, etc.) Outside because you have a problem with it. If your friend Ana or her family have a problem, let them go talk to a Dr. Your other friends are the real friends, she us not. Don't give her or her family the time of day and block them.
When I was terrified of dogs, even I understood working/service dogs were different. I'd give them a wide berth, and would still be terrified, but I still understood they were doing a job. The only reason i would ban service animals from my home is allergies. Im definitely allergic to cats. I discovered this because of blood tests to co firm the allergy following a reaction bad enough to send me to bed for 2 or 3 days with flu like symptoms. This was after 5 minutes of petting a cat, followed moments later with washing my hands. All whilst also on strong daily antihistamines prescribed for a different allergy. I haven't yet discovered if I've developed an allergy to dogs since last being around some (the cat allergy wasn't there in 2019, but was in 2020), but if I have, then yeah, I'd have to ban all dogs from my home for obvious reasons, including service dogs. But if it was a situation like this, I'd also work with op to be able to minimise risk of injury if she did have a seizur
Load More Replies... I’m curious what exactly Anna A*****e’s family thinks SHE should do to make it up? Because that’s something for Anna A*****e to do, NOT the OP, who is the person who was wronged, and ended up in the f*****g hospital because Anna A*****e didn’t want OP’s SERVICE DOG inside. Yeah, OP. Take them to the cleaners for this s**t. Publicly shame them, take them to court, whatever it takes to drive the point home.
Ah yes. Those people who think medical conditions, specifically diagnosed ones, are attention seeking, lies, being lazy and things to just get over. I will these people to find a volcano and throw themselves in it. They'll get over it.
Service dogs rarely "inconvenience" people. A*****e "friends" almost always do.
NTA. I'm pretty sure Anna is a psychopath. What kind of a lunatic makes someone else's health all about them? She doesn't deserve friends.
Your seizure was your body's way of saying "kindly, f**k you lady." (To the so called friend). I'll never understand why people get so upset about well trained animals that are literally for others health. It's unfortunate you had to go through that without your doggo. I hope Anna has learned her lesson not matter how embarrassed she is about it. (She won't give up and admit she was in the wrong cause she's too embarrassed of herself.) Glad you had real friends there who put her in her place!
NTAH. You need Bailey. I would not turn you and Bailey away, I would not turn any service dog away. I teach my kids not to pet service dogs and inform them of the JOB the dogs are doing for their human. Having said that I would like to mention an experience I witnessed; Where a woman bought vests for her 2 little dogs so she could bring them anywhere. It just so happens that she entered an DAS (domestic abuse shelter) with her dogs. Also, at the same period of time there was a blind woman in the shelter that had an actual service dog. The little dogs encountered the large service dog in the hallway and attacked the Blind womans service dog. So yeah some people who abuse the system buying those vests online give me pause to how open I am about encountering service dogs anywhere. We need to stop those people with that practice. It's not fair to people who actually need/have service dogs.
This is the worst kind of ableism. This is like forcing a wheelchair user to crawl around and leave their chair in the garage because you hate how it looks. Then doubling down when they injure themself because you took away their mobility aid.
Why would "Anna" plan to have this group, including the person who has a service dog, to her home for a get-together? She's been stewing about OP's situation, being passive-aggressive with her comments, but she couldn't control OP in other settings. So she decided to deal with OP on her own turf, where she could put her foot down about the dog and embarrass OP. Thankfully, it backfired in several ways, and Ana was exposed as the disrespectful jerk she is. Good for OP and her real friends. But OP should never allow anyone to pressure her to put Bailey in the corner again. Give them the option, Bailey stays - or I go.
Is this lady living in a remote cave? I can't believe she is not only ignorant but also mean about OP needing service dog when she has regular seizures. Attention, seriously!? 😐
Ana, and her family, are the AH's of year. The only way OP "can fix this" is if they find her a time machine and change history. Ana still thinks OP is a faker and attention-seeker. That's why they think it can be "fixed". This level of ignorance and attitude speaks volumes about Ana and her family. Ana brought this on herself. She's the only one who might "fix this". Unfortunately she still doesn't understand that she was wrong, and endangered OP's health and life. She thinks OP is a faker, because she's a faker, a false friend. She showed her true colors that game night. She gambled with a friend's well-being and lost her circle of friends. Ana has learned nothing. She didn't think she did anything wrong.
OP tried to be accommodating to keep the peace at the party, and feels badly about the outcome. And she didn't say anything wrong. OP, your friends have learned the Ana is willing to throw each of you under the bus for not fitting into her narrow understanding of the world. Only Ana could fix this situation, or at least try to. Even if she understood, and t tried to make amendsfor, her error; it's probably too late
Load More Replies... What a stupid non-question. "This friend I've never seen without a service dog, I can't believe she showed up with a service dog" and downhill from there. Why waste your breath on such people?
Your better than I am,I would have just told her if my BFF doesn't stay that watches out 24/7 for me as a Service Dog,then I'm gone for good and one day she will realize it. They also save our lives in the Military/cops,by letting us know before bombers or people with guns even appear(basically extremely dangerous),as well as to just be a campion on a lonley day.
Wow...so sorry this happened to you and Bailey. Better off without Ana and her vicious family! I'm not a doctor, but I wanted to briefly share my sister's experience....She was diagnosed with epilepsy as a baby, and treated for 50 years with meds, with only questionable success. Several years ago, she went through some extensive testing and was found to have syncope, a heart problem. She got a pacemaker, and after a few adjustments has been doing great. No more seizures. The emotional toll of all those years has been tough on her, but she's working though it. Just thought it might be worth looking into if you haven't already. Wishing you the best.
My guess is that Anna may think that she is "faking" because not all of her seizures are serious. A small seizure (petit mal) may not even be noticeable to the average person as the only symptom is a blank stare. So she gets on the floor every time the dog alerts her and it might not be apparent to Anna that anything is actually happening. That said, ignorance is no excuse because with the internet it is easy to educate oneself and the rest of the friend group seems to understand what is happening. Aside from that, if Anna hadn't witnessed a full-blown seizure before, she has now. And yet her response is to double down on the ridiculous assertion that she faked a seizure that gave her a nasty concussion and sent her to the hospital. Something is not right with Anna. My guess is that she is a narcissist.
This person is clearly a jerk, but, TBH, I blame a part of this on how many people are claiming their animals are 'support' pets when they clearly aren't. They're making it harder for people who really need a support animal to be taken seriously because you just absolutely have to have your support parrot or iguana with you everywhere. I'm not saying that to downplay the need for support animals for people with psychological issues. My father has had a support animal for 10 years and the dog has a special harness that states he's a trained support animal and he keeps the documentation of such in the harness itself and he has no problem showing it to anyone who asks. Now, people are bringing their support 'cat' into a grocery store where people may have allergies and they're clearly not trained and they make a puddle on the floor, etc, and you aren't even allowed to question it. So more and more people are going to not take it seriously the more this is allowed.
Definitely NTA! I'm sorry that this happened to you. I hope that you are healing from the concussion I'm shocked and appalled by the actions of your self centered former friend and her family. Anna and her family members all need to find a therapist ASAP! They are absolutely acting like complete AHs. There is no excuse for this harassment! I'm so happy that the other people in your friend group are supporting you now. I'm so sorry that that they didn't stand up for you and Bailey before.
Anna sounds like the golden child in her family. An entitled, spoiled, and a narcissistic abelist, just like the rest of her family. What, exactly, was OP supposed to "fix"? The last time I checked, epilepsy wasn't a life choice. I (almost) feel sorry for Anna. There's the very real possibility that someday SHE could end up in a similar situation (glaucoma, profound hearing loss, PTSD). I'm willing to bet that she'll expect everyone to bow to her demands, and have an Oscar-worthy tantrum when they don't comply. She's already lost most of any kind of support system she might have.
By far you're not ta. Your fake friend is just that......not a friend. You need to sue her. Send her family research on epilepsy and service animals. Pray for them
I think you should have left that b.....s house and not put Bailey in the back yard. Ana sounds like a freaking idiot saying you had a seizure for attention. Block her mother and sister phone number so they can't send you anymore immature messages.
Ana is such an ignorant @$$h0!€. None of this is your fault. When someone gets as much in your face as she apparently did, it’s difficult because you just want them out of your face. I’m glad your friends feel the way they do and let her have it and no longer associate with her. That may be part of the fix-it thing. She blames you for the loss of friends. Block them all on your phone. If they keep at it in some other way, that’s harassment. Report it, bringing your evidence with you. We here in Canada are pretty strict about the whole harassment thing. Bailey is the bestest girl. Whomever it is, they accept the both of you or none of you. You are a team.
NTA Ana deserved the wake up call have her pay for your hospital bills\
I've never known anyone with epilepsy, but if I had a friend who had seizures, or even someone I just see regularly, I'd want to have a pad---like a camping bedroll pad---to put down on the floor for her to sit or lie down on until the seizure was over. That would be in my own home, of course, but I'd want her to feel safe, to know that she isn't going to go through it alone (with her service dog, of course!), and that, incompetent as I currently am, I'd be there to call for help for her. Nobody anywhere needs a "friend" like Anna! As the old saying goes, "With friends like that, who needs enemies?" I would also want to educate myself as much as possible on what the seizures do, and what I could do as a lay person until help arrives.
Like Anna just prob want attention but this s#1!t that's just wrong oh and i hope you, bailey, and your friends are better without her.
Oh my - nightmare situation. I have epilepsy, not to the depth of yours, I have Auras and I have a Golden Retriever who - well - knows when I am not well. I have had epilepsy for 15 years, if I have the type of seizure you have - it changes everything I have been fighting back for 15 years - Walter, my dog knows every breath I take Be strong and do not let anyone do that to you again - And - never trust someone who cannot connect with animals- it tells you who they are
I hate when people assume someone is faking a disability for attention. When my best friend started having seizures that was the first thing my mom said “oh she just wants attention”. Idk why I was surprised, since my mom thinks panic attacks and anxiety is also just attention seeking and people should “just stop thinking about it”. It’s always the people who think that the world revolves around them that think other people couldn’t possibly be dealing with anything that they haven’t experienced (because, obviously, their experience is the only one that exists /s)
This is when I wish we could add True photos of the AH stated. My lord she's a piece of work! I am not a dog person- I know- I'm terrible- but - I work in many diff places where service dogs happen to come in with their people. Never would I act like Ana! Never! I'm still cordial to the dog- always to the person- ask if I can supply water or anything extra... etc. but wow! Leave your service animal in the backyard?! So- had grandma come to be with you in case of emergencies- would she have grandma locked out back? My eye roll cannot get bigger or more dramatic! Also- I don't dislike dogs- had a bad experience once, kept open mind. But- for some reason- the universe feels they shouldn't live as long as humans- and I'm not ok with that. I stay away from pets- only bc I cannot take any more loss at this point in life. It's personal- I know... plz don't hate.
The OP did not "take" Anna's friends away. Anna was and is an AH and her friends no longer want to associate with AHs. I would make the same decision.
NTA. I have OCD-ish friends/family who I know would not want an animal in their homes. I have a dog, but not a service dog. If I had a service dog, I would just decline the invitation. Though these people are nothing like Anna. If someone showed up with a service dog, they would just suck it up and sterilize their house after the guests left. Lol
When I first saw this headline, I was prepared to give the OP a (very soft) ESH for not asking Ana's permission to bring Bailey, if only as a courtesy. However, upon reading about the frequency and severity of OP's seizures, I immediately revised my opinion. Anyone who is genuinely this person's friend must already realize that Bailey is not simply a "just in case" measure, his presence is a legitimate medical necessity. I agree with other posters who say that OP should just cut Ana and her whole toxic family out of her life. So NTA!
Its a service dog. The only reason you should have to check about bringing them is if someone in the house has an allergy.
Load More Replies... NTA, and this incident is grounds for a potential lawsuit! Anna would have to give an explanation as to why OP couldn't have the dog by her side to alert OP about the oncoming seizure, and this whole thing could've been prevented! But, since Anna and her family are trying to make OP "fix" something that wasn't in her power to do so, good thing OP blocked them, but she should consider suing her for it!
I wonder if Ana is scared of OP having seizures. So when Ana is scared by the seizure she lashes out. And uses the seizures and the fact that Bailey is around as an excuse to take out her insecurities. Either that or Ana is a narcissist.
I feel I need to address the service dog certification thing that was mentioned at the beginning. In the US there is NO certification or registration. Anyone in the US that shows any sort of paperwork stating their dog is certified or registered is either not from the US or is faking to get their untrained pet in wherever they go. There are websites all over the place touting $20 registration and certification even blasting "Take your pet with you" and "We'll certify any dog as a service dog" These are illegal and damaging to actual service dog teams, but there is no policing of proper service dogs or these websites. Other countries do have a certification/registration process for their actual service dogs that honestly we need to follow here in the US, there'd be fewer fake service dogs out there making trouble for actual service dog teams. And no your emotional support animal is not a service dog, read the ADA Law
I'm curious. Are you taking any medication for your seizures? I work in Neuro, so I deal with epileptic patients all the time.
I'm curious why you are asking? I'm epileptic, take 3 different meds for epilepsy and I still have seizures. The two different neurologist I see just haven't found the right meds for me, maybe she hasn't found the right one.
Load More Replies... You realise this dog is the equivalent of a medical device? Would you ask a friend to leave their wheelchair at home?
Load More Replies... Comparing allergies with epileptic seizures is ridiculous. The family can go to another room where they won't smell the dog. Someone stealing the dog is unlikely. Dogs don't tend to injure themselves playing or hanging out in grass. Dogs have fur that prevents them from being cold. Her dog goes everywhere with her, why would this be the day she leaves her dog at home? It was implied that she'd bring her dog, so a smart person wouldn't invite her if they had some huge issue with it. And the dog knew she was inside. Lmao. All of your scenarios are absurd.
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