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The subreddit ‘Am I The A**hole‘ describes itself as a “catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you.” With 1.2 million followers it has become an active and fascinating place for discussing ethical dilemmas of all kinds, as we continue the ancient human tradition of trying to figure out the morality of wrong and right.
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This particular scenario is a difficult one. It forces a well-meaning guy to choose between hurting his beloved brother’s feelings, or potentially ruining his own wedding day – something that means the world to his fiancee.
Image credits: DragonImages (not the actual photo)
The OP seems to want only the best for all concerned and is trying to avoid hurting anybody. In the end, he made his moral choice based on what would cause the least damage – but he’s still unsure if he did the right thing. In an attempt to assuage his guilt, he asked the moral arbiters of the community what they thought:
“Am I the a**hole here?”
A tough one indeed! However, it appears that there is a strong consensus that the OP did the right thing here, and there are definitely more appropriate times for brother to make his coming out of the closet announcement.
What do you think? Did OP do the right thing here? Scroll down to read the discussion below and let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Here’s how people reacted to the dilemma
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What do you think ?
Ale_Vidal23 6 years ago
in my opinion the groom is in full right. it's not the right moment to come out with that kind of an info. his gay brother should accept that, if not he is acting very selfish and just loves to stand in the spotlight. so the groom doesn't have to feel bad for deciding in favor of HIS most important day
Mewton’s Third Paw 6 years ago
This site should be called Best of Reddit. Not much need for comments here because comments we all agree with are posted within the article.
Billy Storm 6 years ago
do you mean - only 'good' or "upvoted" comments are posted within the article? if so, that's not the least bit fair.
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Mikey 6 years ago
As a gay man that has been in a somewhat similar situation, if my sister had asked me NOT to bring my boyfriend to her wedding for fear of the ensuing drama I'd respect that. It's not my day, it's hers. I can be a queen any ol' day.
María Hermida 6 years ago
That's a really generous thing to do! You must be a great person.
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SnowMercy 6 years ago
The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home oj and bread we are out, like you now. This dad is great!
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Gerry Higgins 6 years ago
Your wedding is YOUR wedding and not the place for other people to make statements about their life. The brother can plan his own "Coming Out Party", not at your wedding.
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
With all due respect, if they know the family is going to get upset and overreact, then the wedding was really not the time to come out to the family. He couldn't really want to ruin the brother's day like that.
Pumbaa 6 years ago
What does NAH and NTA mean? Reading these abbreviations a lot but don't have a clue.
Billy Storm 6 years ago
i just thought it's because i'm old that i didn't know, and i wasn't gonna ask, but THANKS for doing that. there's SO much new 'slang' all over the place - i can't keep up with that s**t. LOL
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Shaylynne Gosnell 6 years ago (edited)
it should be the brothers choice if he wants to come out there or not its his life :/ its better to do it where all of the family is there and they are all in a good mood but im 15 with an amazing gay uncle so what do i know
Ale_Vidal23 6 years ago
in my opinion the groom is in full right. it's not the right moment to come out with that kind of an info. his gay brother should accept that, if not he is acting very selfish and just loves to stand in the spotlight. so the groom doesn't have to feel bad for deciding in favor of HIS most important day
Mewton’s Third Paw 6 years ago
This site should be called Best of Reddit. Not much need for comments here because comments we all agree with are posted within the article.
Billy Storm 6 years ago
do you mean - only 'good' or "upvoted" comments are posted within the article? if so, that's not the least bit fair.
Load More Replies... Mikey 6 years ago
As a gay man that has been in a somewhat similar situation, if my sister had asked me NOT to bring my boyfriend to her wedding for fear of the ensuing drama I'd respect that. It's not my day, it's hers. I can be a queen any ol' day.
María Hermida 6 years ago
That's a really generous thing to do! You must be a great person.
Load More Replies... SnowMercy 6 years ago
The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home oj and bread we are out, like you now. This dad is great!
Load More Replies... Gerry Higgins 6 years ago
Your wedding is YOUR wedding and not the place for other people to make statements about their life. The brother can plan his own "Coming Out Party", not at your wedding.
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
With all due respect, if they know the family is going to get upset and overreact, then the wedding was really not the time to come out to the family. He couldn't really want to ruin the brother's day like that.
Pumbaa 6 years ago
What does NAH and NTA mean? Reading these abbreviations a lot but don't have a clue.
Billy Storm 6 years ago
i just thought it's because i'm old that i didn't know, and i wasn't gonna ask, but THANKS for doing that. there's SO much new 'slang' all over the place - i can't keep up with that s**t. LOL
Load More Replies... Shaylynne Gosnell 6 years ago (edited)
it should be the brothers choice if he wants to come out there or not its his life :/ its better to do it where all of the family is there and they are all in a good mood but im 15 with an amazing gay uncle so what do i know
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