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“Am I wrong for asking my brother not to bring his boyfriend to my wedding?”
8.8K

“Am I wrong for asking my brother not to bring his boyfriend to my wedding?”

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The subreddit ‘Am I The A**hole‘ describes itself as a “catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you.” With 1.2 million followers it has become an active and fascinating place for discussing ethical dilemmas of all kinds, as we continue the ancient human tradition of trying to figure out the morality of wrong and right.

This particular scenario is a difficult one. It forces a well-meaning guy to choose between hurting his beloved brother’s feelings, or potentially ruining his own wedding day – something that means the world to his fiancee.

Image credits: DragonImages (not the actual photo)

The OP seems to want only the best for all concerned and is trying to avoid hurting anybody. In the end, he made his moral choice based on what would cause the least damage – but he’s still unsure if he did the right thing. In an attempt to assuage his guilt, he asked the moral arbiters of the community what they thought:

“Am I the a**hole here?”

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A tough one indeed! However, it appears that there is a strong consensus that the OP did the right thing here, and there are definitely more appropriate times for brother to make his coming out of the closet announcement.

What do you think? Did OP do the right thing here? Scroll down to read the discussion below and let us know your thoughts in the comments!

Here’s how people reacted to the dilemma

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alessioangiolillo avatar
Ale_Vidal23
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in my opinion the groom is in full right. it's not the right moment to come out with that kind of an info. his gay brother should accept that, if not he is acting very selfish and just loves to stand in the spotlight. so the groom doesn't have to feel bad for deciding in favor of HIS most important day

pascal-dombrowicz avatar
Antihero
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"That kind of an info" Why he needs to explain anything at all? There is no need before the wedding, not at the wedding or afterwards. Let him and his boyfriend have an amazing day and celebrate together. I don't get why he didn't invite the boyfriend from the beginning and asked his brother if he wants to bring his boyfriend.

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mintyminameow avatar
Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This site should be called Best of Reddit. Not much need for comments here because comments we all agree with are posted within the article.

billystorm avatar
Billy Storm
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

do you mean - only 'good' or "upvoted" comments are posted within the article? if so, that's not the least bit fair.

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macguffin39 avatar
Mikey
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a gay man that has been in a somewhat similar situation, if my sister had asked me NOT to bring my boyfriend to her wedding for fear of the ensuing drama I'd respect that. It's not my day, it's hers. I can be a queen any ol' day.

haoyun2001 avatar
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alessioangiolillo avatar
Ale_Vidal23
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in my opinion the groom is in full right. it's not the right moment to come out with that kind of an info. his gay brother should accept that, if not he is acting very selfish and just loves to stand in the spotlight. so the groom doesn't have to feel bad for deciding in favor of HIS most important day

pascal-dombrowicz avatar
Antihero
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"That kind of an info" Why he needs to explain anything at all? There is no need before the wedding, not at the wedding or afterwards. Let him and his boyfriend have an amazing day and celebrate together. I don't get why he didn't invite the boyfriend from the beginning and asked his brother if he wants to bring his boyfriend.

Load More Replies...
mintyminameow avatar
Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This site should be called Best of Reddit. Not much need for comments here because comments we all agree with are posted within the article.

billystorm avatar
Billy Storm
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

do you mean - only 'good' or "upvoted" comments are posted within the article? if so, that's not the least bit fair.

Load More Replies...
macguffin39 avatar
Mikey
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a gay man that has been in a somewhat similar situation, if my sister had asked me NOT to bring my boyfriend to her wedding for fear of the ensuing drama I'd respect that. It's not my day, it's hers. I can be a queen any ol' day.

haoyun2001 avatar
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