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“[Am I The Jerk] For Explaining To My Future SIL Why Her Kids Will Never Receive Anything From Us?”
There’s nothing quite like a holiday dinner to bring out the claws, and not just from the roast chicken. Imagine settling in for some good old-fashioned family bonding over Easter ham, when things turn into a full-blown courtroom drama without the judge or the gavel, but with just as much tension.
This is exactly what happened when today’s Original Poster’s (OP) family dinner got hijacked by a surprise confrontation about prenups, inheritance, and what it really means to be “family.” The post left netizens debating whether OP was just being brutally honest or a full-on villain.
More info: Reddit
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When you’re blending families, it’s only natural to hope that your partner’s side will embrace your children as their own
Image credits: Pixabay / Pixabay (not the actual photo)
The author started by explaining that her brother’s fiancée had two kids from her previous marriage, but they were going to sign a prenup for only his biological kids to inherit anything
Image credits: BreadAcrobatic9859
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba Studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
So, during a family gathering for Easter, the fiancée brought it up and was clearly upset about it because she wanted her kids to benefit from it, too
Image credits: BreadAcrobatic9859
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, the author told her that it was something that had already been decided on by the family and that her kids wouldn’t be included where the inheritance was concerned
Image credits: BreadAcrobatic9859
They went back and forth, and when the fiancée called the family cruel and greedy, OP snapped
The OP’s brother proposed to his girlfriend of two years, who has two kids from a previous relationship. Things had been smooth sailing until the topic of marriage brought up some not-so-smooth realities: namely, a prenup and inheritance boundaries. The brother made it clear that his family’s assets would only ever be passed down to his biological children.
According to the OP, the entire family had long agreed on this rule. To them, inheritance should stay strictly within the bloodline, and while they’re cordial with the fiancée and her children, that doesn’t automatically earn them a slice of the family pie.
During Easter dinner, while the fiancée’s kids were away at their dad’s, she brought up the prenup bombshell in front of everyone, arguing that if she’s marrying into the family, then her kids deserve to be treated equally, although the family didn’t see it that way. The OP pushed back hard, and things escalated quickly.
The fiancée called the family greedy and cruel, which caused the OP to snap. She then told the fiancée point-blank that she was welcome to earn her own assets for her children, but the family’s fortune wouldn’t be open to them. The brother tried to de-escalate things, but his fiancée wasn’t ready to drop it.
Image credits: wayhomestudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Wright Family Law Group explains that prenuptial agreements are especially important in blended families, where financial boundaries can get complicated. They help protect individual assets, clearly define financial roles, and reduce potential future conflicts. More importantly, they encourage open and honest discussions before marriage, something that can prevent serious misunderstandings down the line.
BetterUp also emphasizes that having healthy boundaries in relationships when it comes to family is important as these boundaries help both individuals maintain harmony and prevent resentment. They provide examples of boundaries where family is involved, which include setting financial limits, setting time boundaries with family obligations, and respecting personal property and autonomy.
According to Psychology Today, when there are situations where tensions and emotions rise due to the discussion of certain topics, de-escalation is needed. They explain that de-escalation starts in the mind, and is about staying mentally grounded while reading social cues and using calm, nonjudgmental communication.
They highlight that the right mindset and communication style are often more powerful than the content of the argument itself, and that validating the other person’s emotions, avoiding judgment, and keeping your ego in check are all essential in preventing emotional situations from spiraling.
Netizens were divided on the situation, but most sided with the OP. While a few felt the OP should’ve stayed out of her brother’s business, many agreed that the fiancée overstepped by pushing for entitlements her kids weren’t owed. They also emphasized that inheritance is often bloodline-bound, and the prenup is a necessary move to protect that.
What do you think about this situation? Was the OP just being honest, or did she cross a line by getting involved in her brother’s prenup? We would love to hear your thoughts!
Netizens were divided on the situation as some felt it was not the author’s place to speak, while some claimed the fiancée is just entitled
What do you think ?
Janelle Collard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Hope OP's bro removes his head from his a** + drops gold digger Sarah ASAP. Even *with* a prenup, you know she'll fight tooth + nail for her kids' "share" of OP's family's assets, money, etc.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 weeks ago
People can do what they want with their money. However, using biology as a marker is barbaric thinking. Why wouldn't you base it on legal standing. If brother adopts a kid, they are his child. If he doesn't, they aren't. Bringing biology into it instead of family, even legally designated family, just shows they are backwards and bigoted about bloodlines. It's their money though, and can do what they want, but I wouldn't marry into a family like that. Also, if brother inherits, why can't he pass his things onto whomever he wants? You don't just have to give to your children. Is he prevented from charitable donations? Leaving an heirloom to a friend? Just doesn't make sense if the family is rational.
Bonesko 2 weeks ago (edited)
If it's strictly biological children only, than yeah, I agree with you and they can f**k off to The Game of Thrones, but not my money. But there is a difference between having an adopted child and a step child. If the parents of an adopted child divorce they are still that child's parents and are responsible for them. It's not like that with step kids. If you have step kids and divorce (and didn't adopt them) you go from step dad to ex. In my, and a few people I know experiences. Although my spouse's step dad divorced his mom when he was 12 and he still comes to visit, we do holidays, he calls him 'his son' and I'm now his 'DIL'. I remember thinking it was so weird, but it's so sweet.
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Janelle Collard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Hope OP's bro removes his head from his a** + drops gold digger Sarah ASAP. Even *with* a prenup, you know she'll fight tooth + nail for her kids' "share" of OP's family's assets, money, etc.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 weeks ago
People can do what they want with their money. However, using biology as a marker is barbaric thinking. Why wouldn't you base it on legal standing. If brother adopts a kid, they are his child. If he doesn't, they aren't. Bringing biology into it instead of family, even legally designated family, just shows they are backwards and bigoted about bloodlines. It's their money though, and can do what they want, but I wouldn't marry into a family like that. Also, if brother inherits, why can't he pass his things onto whomever he wants? You don't just have to give to your children. Is he prevented from charitable donations? Leaving an heirloom to a friend? Just doesn't make sense if the family is rational.
Bonesko 2 weeks ago (edited)
If it's strictly biological children only, than yeah, I agree with you and they can f**k off to The Game of Thrones, but not my money. But there is a difference between having an adopted child and a step child. If the parents of an adopted child divorce they are still that child's parents and are responsible for them. It's not like that with step kids. If you have step kids and divorce (and didn't adopt them) you go from step dad to ex. In my, and a few people I know experiences. Although my spouse's step dad divorced his mom when he was 12 and he still comes to visit, we do holidays, he calls him 'his son' and I'm now his 'DIL'. I remember thinking it was so weird, but it's so sweet.
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