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Just like in 2015 and 2016, women have been posting a fair share of hilarious tweets since 2017. Bored Panda has collected some of the funniest ones, and they will crack you up no matter what gender you are or how bad a day you're having.
From optimizing their shopping trips to figuring out their parents, the minds behind these hilarious tweets certainly know how to blend humor with insightful comments. Scroll down to check out why you still need a Twitter account and upvote your favorite jokes!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Suzi Gauthier 7 years ago
Maybe we could carry around those little blood capsules they use in the movies.
Oscar Paolantoni 7 years ago
Make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by (copyright: Google Translator)
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RELATED:
#2
Julie Lynn 7 years ago
Give this MAN an "A" for paying attention and taking the initiative to solve a problem. Above and beyond that, he was helping make you more comfortable. Two Thumbs Up! You might want to consider showing him how delighted you were by posting his kindness here. It might make his day! :)
John L 7 years ago
This is the perfect time to decide whether you want to be 'chased' or 'caught'. 00-rolleye...f7a3d1.gif 
#3
Ben Smith 7 years ago
Give rattlesnakes distance and respect because they are poisonous and dangerous to people...is that really a comparison a woman - or anyone - wants to make??
Tralee Aylett 7 years ago
its a species of Nope Rope so of course I'll give it respect and distance
#4
Lex Roberts 7 years ago
When they find me, they'll have a power source for intergalactic travel.
#6
Krissy Vaughan 7 years ago
I wait & see who comes up with the wittiest remarks … might use that in the future… 😁😁
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Thegreatcountryofverden 7 years ago
But assuming would make an a*s out of u and me.
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#7
Wezbie 7 years ago
The walls (uterine lining) of the uterus build during the cycle to 'catch' the fertilised egg and start the baby process. If there is no fertilised egg, the walls shed and a woman gets her period. Then the cycle starts all over again. Those walls/lining are the wallpaper in the joke. Ripping down the wallpaper, causing a period and terrible cramps in the process :)
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#9
Gerry Higgins 7 years ago
"Money won't buy happiness" .... People who say that don't know where to shop
Jenna Bois 7 years ago
"Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy anything"
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Debbie Andersson 7 years ago
We´re just animals supposed to hunt and bang eachother, why are we stuck in a system about money.
#10
Bunnies4Zwin 7 years ago
The guys who do this are just waiting for the right women to put them in their place
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Jill Rhoads 7 years ago
OMG! Piqua, Ohio. Almost the only city in Ohio that has a Q in it's name. When my Dad and I played collecting the letters of the alphabet (in order, cuz that's how we rolled in the 70s) on family road trips to my grandparents house, we always had fun seeing who could get the Q from the city water tower first. Ahh..the days before the Internet...(insert joke here)
Michael Morris 7 years ago
Keep in mind that some guys will not only do this, but try to trick you into thinking someone else did it. I was sitting on a stool at a dance club on my phone but saw a guy step in front of me, goose a woman and step away. She turned to me and I pointed at the assailant. Apparently she knew him cause he got a hug and kiss instead of a punch to the face but I swear, if she'd decked me I'd have broken a chair over his head.
Yating Sun 7 years ago
Sometimes, I wish my brain reacts as fast as yours. Whenever that happens, I'm just all "... wait... did that just happen? Ok... what shall I do now?" By the time I think of something, situation's over.
#11
Da Wei Hamilton 7 years ago
I have 2 very cute dogs(border collies, dog pandas), and I am not a sludge monster, nobody is chasing me down
Emily Hisel 7 years ago
if i saw those, i would be speeding down to see them at 6mps (miles/second) XD
#12
Johanna-Nicollette Kidd 7 years ago
Im sure they have something wrong with those light, I feel human&then look in the mirrors when Im out,&I know Im a Martian! :((
Doubanji 7 years ago
Why would looking in a public toilet mirror cause you to work up a sweat? They have them everywhere from the theatre and cinema to the Sunday jumble sale and a whole range of equally non-sweaty places in between... Even churches and spas have public toilets... Going into a public toilet doesn't automatically cause most people to have "worked up a sweat" upon entry...
Load More Replies... Nikki D 7 years ago
I'm glad I'm not the only one! If I really looked like that, babies would cry and children would run. My face would be declared a public nuisance and I'd be issued a mandatory mask.
Cheryl Thomas 7 years ago
Dressing room mirrors and lighting are awful, too. I've never understood that one - how can so many clothiers have such a poor understanding of the female psyche? It's why I've done all my clothes shopping online for many years.
Rappenwolf 7 years ago
I hate sitting in the beauty shop with the cape on -- I look like death warmed over.
#13
mulk 7 years ago
Yeah, or buy a big dildo in a transparent bag and take a picture of your husband's face!
Julie Lynn 7 years ago
My husband and I are still laughing OUT LOUD!! Thanks for the huge morning giggle!!
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Analyn Lahr 7 years ago
Why do people get embarrassed about something that's natural? I used to hate having to go to male checkers when buying period products. Now I'm just like 'who the hell even cares?'
Otto Titsling 7 years ago
My husband says that he’s not embarrassed since everybody knows they’re not for him.
Load More Replies... Marcia Jergenson 7 years ago
When i bought adult diapers at Costco for my mom, I would always get them first & then wander thru the store with this ENORMOUS box of incontinence supplies sticking out of the cart while getting the other items on my list...it was absolutely hilarious watching people's reactions! Really funny stuff!
Miriam Brose 7 years ago
And I give them to my boyfriend and he holds them without even saying a word...
Da Wei Hamilton 7 years ago
my mother had me cycling down and getting MAXI PADS from the local since I was 12, get a fecking life
Julie Lynn 7 years ago
This was so funny, I had to read it to my husband. And then mulk's comment that followed was the icing on the whole shopping experience! :D! :D!
#14
mulk 7 years ago
Or an older one, who scream at you in an old and forgotten language! (F'tagn, Shub'Niggurate...!)
The Cappy 7 years ago
I never worry about that particular one. If those ghosts could make sounds they'd have summoned the Old Ones long ago.
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BoopityBooptiyBooper 7 years ago
Ghost at 3am: *Whispers*"Hey...." Me, trying to sleep: "What...?" Ghost: "It's free real-estate.... >:D" Me: "....."
Kylie Stone 7 years ago
i work at a haunted house in INN MAN SWEET DREAMS SCARE HOUSE best haunted house ever trust me
Jack Feuerstein 7 years ago
Just literally spouts all the s**t in For Honor from the like 3-4 ancient languages.
#15
Stille20 7 years ago
They even managed to work Phelps into discussions at the winter Olympics... though they spent a LOT of time on Lindsay Vonn... mostly trying to make her cry.
Cody Eriksen 7 years ago
I was yelling at the reporters for someone to hand her a darn tissue!
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Daniel Sipes 7 years ago
I remember this. I was yelling like a football maniac watching Ledecky. That was so cool. :D
#16
Daniel Mallory 7 years ago
I wonder if that happens to other people or if it it happens to her often
Blue Cicada 7 years ago
In high school my father told me to "ignore irrelevant behavior ". I didn't talk to him for two weeks.
Joseph Johnson 7 years ago
I once heard a woman tell her husband that the reason she had sex with him in the mornings was so that the worst part of her day was over..
Julie Lynn 7 years ago
I live by that same philosophy. BUT..Don't worry. I Won't be calling you on your birthday at 6 am.
#17
Weeping Willowz (WeepingWillowz) 7 years ago
How’d you get those photos of me? I thought I’d deleted them!
JoSta Urban 7 years ago
Me everyday at my previous job... Though I don't think I bothered to pretend to like anyone.
#18
Nadine Ducca 7 years ago
Yes! My poor husband sautéed some mushrooms yesterday as a side dish and it was a pitiful little heap.
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Jacque Place 7 years ago
Just did that yesterday..now you see it, now you don't. Had to drink the water I steamed it in just to help feel I got my money's worth.
Diane Lloyd 7 years ago
I always have to use a huge pan to fit the bunches in then when it's done, it looks downright pitiful. I must say, the same thing happens with sauteed chard and many other greens. The good thing is that I NEVER have leftover greens!
#19
Nicky OldfieldDesciple 7 years ago
This is the Kim Kardashian of trash bags; flashy on the outside and trashy on the inside.
#20
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
My Crush texts : Hi; Me: On Amazon start searching "wedding suits".
Daniel Sipes 7 years ago
YES. This is 100% accurate. I am a guy who worries about this way too much for my own good. I just want to be a nice person, not a flirty douche. :(
Beth Arriaga 7 years ago
The fact you are even worrying? You move to the top of the list... just be you. You've got this. We care that you care.
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Jamey Rand 7 years ago
How about this. 1) Men can start looking at Women as humans as well, with emotions, and feelings, and different personalities and 2) Women and Men can allow men to be Human, meaning, they are allowed to express emotions and feelings without having to worry about being labeled "gay," as other men like to call it or "wack or weak," as woman like to call it. Newsflash humanity, if we are going to change, EVERYONE needs to change. It's not just men who think men are weak if they act a certain way and it's not just men who think women are weak or pathetic (or whatever word you want to use) if they want to do "womanly" things - notice the quotation mark. Humans are humans, and are different and EXTREMELY complex and it's exhausting to deal with it. But we either as a whole be "exhausted" or we continue with the BS. Now the interesting part is when you want to talk about mental issues and the individual truly cannot help themselves no matter what they want.
Daniel Sipes 7 years ago
I agree, there is some truth to this. Still, I would rather have the #MeToo movement be a thing. Change like that can be messy, but it's necessary.
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Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
the difference is - if we men make a mistake, we pay it in a court of law. If a woman makes a mistake, she faces no consequences.
Gerry Higgins 7 years ago
Man acting like a woman: Says he's not hungry then eats off HER plate
#21
Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
My hubs was in the National Guard and his group would practice recon in the S.C. swamps with 100% accuracy. Ask him to get old blankets and drop them off at Goodwill and he doesn't know where the spare closet is!
John L 7 years ago
Its called 'getting your priorities straight'. Your a*s is always worth far more than a blanket. 00-spitefu...7046ff.gif 
Neeraj Jha 7 years ago
As a Hindi speaking person, reading 'bc' as 'because' takes an extra effort.
Megan Cole 7 years ago
As an English speaking person, reading 'bc' as 'because' takes an extra effort because I can't translate acronyms and word shortcuts.
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BREAK YOUr perceptions 7 years ago
HAHHAHAH you have not seen guys play FPS games then. its all cusses, NEWB calls and trolling.
Derron Grant Jr. 7 years ago
A saw a guy that responded to this by saying "it's easier to say shotgun in the hallway rather than my crippling anxiety is ruining this relationship".
#22
#23
Hamlets twin 7 years ago
I feel like I should remember this. But as a guy 1 question, how do I bring it up that it may be the problem?
Gabi 7 years ago
Umm, there are lingerie shops for men. They have bras. According to a research, they help men to release stress. I think it works like that; you put it on, feel like s**t, then take it off and you'll feel carefree and happy.
Load More Replies... Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
Well it happens with men also, though its just other way around!
#24
Jennifer C. 7 years ago
And then you hit your 40's and are finally old enough to say with belief "oh, f*ck it."
Julianne De Foro 7 years ago
And in your 50s, once menopause hits you, you finally start worrying about not being so bloody hot...
#25
Raven Mystique 7 years ago
And, that's 1 HELLA Great Man!!! Keep Him Luv, You don't find Men who would be willing to do this,
#26
Bunzilla 7 years ago
And make them big enough to hold more than a tissue, please =__=
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Misty Evergreen 7 years ago
I don't know how many times someone has asked me to hold something while my hands were full and then have them tell me just to put it in my pockets...My response is always either, "But their TOO SMALL!" or "I'm wearing a dress...they don't put pockets on dresses."
Ragnhild Karlsen 7 years ago
Omg!! This woman is my spirit Animal!!!! I have to many dresses as it is, and will not allow myself to buy any new ones. Unless they have pockets. Then I can buy one in every color.
#27
just a thought! 7 years ago
Same ! I know exactly where my things are , in the mess... After I clean it, I won't remember where I actually put them😂
Load More Replies... Suzi Gauthier 7 years ago
Sadly, this only works when you live alone. Other people tend to move your s**t around.
Dragon Lady 2 months ago
This is me & when I was younger. My mother always cleaned my room while I was at school. Came home & could never find anything. One day while she & my father were out, I rearranged all the drawers in their bedroom. She never cleaned my room again!
#28
Jiří Schindler 7 years ago
If you want him to text you, say it. We men are sometimes just plain stupid, scared or insecure. But when you give us a hint of your interest, we can grow a full feet high and then there is nothing in the world that seems impossible. Don't wait, act.
Amanda Von Riot 7 years ago
Those are the times when you wish a giant crater in the ground would open and swallow you up—No funeral needed. The person giving your eulogy would just remind everyone you died of embarrassment all over again.
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 7 years ago
I've seen this before - he did and no they didn't end up together.
Jose Baeyens 7 years ago
1. What was his reply ? 2. Ask Siri what she thinks of him, she seems wise for an AI.
#29
Johanna-Nicollette Kidd 7 years ago
Me...after a whole Jug of coffee (usually drunk the lot by about 11 am) Maniacly whizzing at full throttle vacumming, making beds, washing, ironing, dusting...at about 100kms an hour...
#30
This Lil Raccoon 7 years ago
My 6yo sis wants to be a tiger stripper, her words not mine
Load More Replies... Zsuzsanna Szucs 7 years ago
They asked me when I was 6. I said I want to be retired. I thought that's the best job in the world. You don't have to do anything and still get paid. 🤭
#31
A Little Light Arson 7 years ago
Tbh, I feel like some of these posts are turning a little too sexist on the men's side...
#32
Susanna Vesna 7 years ago
Dude! I feel you! I created Instagram for my Boyfriend, and one of the first follows he got was from his ex, and now i keep seeing him liking all the bikini brands posts....GET OFF INSTAGRAM! LMAO
#33
Jose Baeyens 7 years ago
Why ? This might be a new trend ! I'd date a blue girl if she looked like you.
Lisa Panos Fullerton 7 years ago
Just a thought... Walking down the street and seeing another "Smurf" who used the same Krogger bath bombs 😂😂😂
#34
Matthew Archambault 7 years ago
Wasn't aware of girlfriend shirts. How long have I been out of the loop?
Gabby 7 years ago
Lol, a coworker once said to me that it was like advertising you got nothing down there.
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#36
Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
Google Earth... Hey, Look, the neighbors got a new puppy... Experienced Introvert.
#37
Samira Peri 7 years ago
5 PM is when I'm likely at my best mentally, but I do *not* do social things on a moment's notice. Unless cats are involved, then I might.
Amanda Von Riot 7 years ago
After a full 5 days of keeping my thoughts about the a******s I work with to myself, unless I know I have plans, I definitely go straight to bed when I get home. Having that “going out later” notion in my brain helps give me energy (or maybe helps me conserve it during the day) so I can get dressed and ready for a night out. Anyone else get what I mean?
#39
#40
Just Amiable 7 years ago
😂😨😂 Right above the dogs nose... His black marks are shaped like .. Nevermind, y'all will see it 😂
Susann Campbell 7 years ago
On his nose the mark looks like a rocket taking off with the black nose markings as the blast of cloud. I hope the dogs name is Rocky.
Emily Hisel 7 years ago
those are MY furbabies. if that's not good enough, then screw you. we're ALL animals anyway!
#41
Daria B 7 years ago
There are men who will be so sensitive that they'll emotionally accuse a woman of being too emotional and unstable.
Laura Ellis 7 years ago
My husband. He say's I should toughen up. I am too emotional. Yet...say something to him that might hurt him and OMG! He falls apart like no other. LMAO!
Load More Replies... A S Koziol 7 years ago
I keep telling my husband that true feminism means he gets to express and feel his feelings, too. And when I ask him what he's feeling, it's usually followed with "I'm feeling whatever you need to hear to make this conversation end". He's such a charmer :)
Lorraine R 7 years ago
What men mean when they say "women are too emotional " is that tears make them uncomfortable. However, anger (an EMOTION, guys) is acceptable. That's why men think it's fine and manly to express anger but not sadness.
Master Markus 7 years ago
Insecure and "old fashioned" men, sure, but... I don't know. I know the type who gets like that, but I grew up in a family that was generally balanced about the whole "who gets visibly emotional" thing.
Load More Replies... Master Markus 7 years ago
Actually, psychopaths are people who are literally unable to feel emotions like empathy. It's not that they hold it all in, it's that they don't have them in the first place.
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
we loose too much in relationships, sex-wise, statistically, if we open up. Why risk sexless relationship? If I wanted a friend instead of a lover, I'd look for one.
Jason Doakes 7 years ago
Expressing their emotion is not what makes a person crazy, doing and saying crazy things is what makes a person crazy. Also, erecting the straw-woman of emotions is crazy, like there's no other reason to think someone is crazy....
Jesse Saving 7 years ago
I have never heard a man say this. The stereotype for women was doing exactly this. And men hold emotions in usually because of the "Being a man role". Although many people don't see this way some older folks still do and impose that on their kids and grandkids
#42
Steve 7 years ago
He was willing to THROW AWAY PIZZA for you? He's a keeper, then. Or mentally unstable.
Daria B 7 years ago
Not a keeper. Why would he throw that pizza away, when he could give it all to her? That was stupid and painful.... TT_TT
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Missy Finley 7 years ago
Any man who would throw away pizza is not a man I could have a relationship with...
Joyce Stewart 7 years ago
He's a drunk litterer. Think about that, I mean really think about it.
Gerry Higgins 7 years ago
If he's drunk enough he picked it up and continued eating it after he hung up
Iapetos 7 years ago
If he's not drunk enough to forget the ten minute rule...
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Martha Riche 7 years ago
The job I last worked, for 11 years, I was sole admin for a company fleet of that started at 375 cars (reduced to 253), plus I handled all work comp claims for 6 warehouses, all field sales personnel, 35 retail stores, and the corporate office, AND supported the environment-health-safety team. I was paid hourly, 16.55/hr after 11 years. A warehouse worker, also hourly, was being paid 15.65/hr after 15 months on the job. Sooo glad I'm retired now!
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#44
Heather Johnson 7 years ago
This person can apply lashes to a freaking dog beautifully but I can't even manage to put them on my own damn eyes. Lol
FreckledFox 7 years ago
Looks like maybe done via an app? If not, damn! My dog won't stay still for a freaking bath!
Susann Campbell 7 years ago
I think she liked those lashes. If they don't harm her then she should wear them when going out or company coming. She is beautiful with them on.
#45
#46
Jamey Rand 7 years ago
She didn't believe SHE needed makeup to be seen. She's just aware that EVERYONE else wants her to wear makeup to be seen, so therefore she was making a statement. At least, that's how I read it LOL
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Just Carmen 7 years ago
Who cares if you have makeup on or not. You just kicked a*s at the OLYMPICS girlfriend. You don't NEED makeup! 😀
Elizabeth Butler 7 years ago
I am sad that our culture teaches girls that they are not presentable unless they have on a gob of facepaint.
Karynne Williams 7 years ago
that bums me out that even an olympic champion has to be concerned with having the perfect eyebrows and winged eyeliner. that is what all this connectedness and people only posting the perfect selfie (#7 of 23) of their flawless makeup, is doing to people (especially women) that they can't even enjoy their victories.
A S Koziol 7 years ago
I thought we were supposed to be interested in her skills, not her appearance...
#47
#48
Kate Yeti 7 years ago
Seriously, how hard is it to keep your hands to yourself? That's, like, 90% of what they teach in kindergarten.
Ice Queen33 7 years ago
COULD EVERYONE JUST NOT TOUCH ANY PART OF THEMSELVES ABOVE THE LEG BUT LOWER THAN THE WAIST?????
Load More Replies... Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
Im just a guy asking a woman not to touch me if I didnt consent to her touching me. I dont give a flying f..k if she has "feelings". I want "touch me, and die" policy.
#49
Laurie Price-Soto 7 years ago
I'm gonna get these for my white dog. He likes wearing socks. I'll put the garter belt on a different dog, just to make The Husband worry.
Tara Sutter 7 years ago
"me trying to be sexy" wow...Those things are meant for humans...dogs r supposed to be cute XDXDDXD
#50
Neeraj Jha 7 years ago
When she finds out abt it, her husband would actually be playing the game of Life and Death.
#51
Dawn Baik 7 years ago
literally just laughed out loud by myself at work - people are going to think i'm nuts
#52
Allie Faux 7 years ago
Geez Jesse, three other people commented on this post, the ONLY person that mentioned men drinking was a man unless you know many women whose first name is Daniel. Yet you aimed your comment at a woman, sounds like you`re the one with a problem.
#53
#54
#55
Missy Finley 7 years ago
But what if you leave on the counter for him and go to work and then don't answer your phone all day? BWAAAHAAHAA!!
#56
#57
Lorraine R 7 years ago
Just be a gentleman, a real old-fashioned gentleman, who is courteous to men and women, kind to kids and animals, and thinks more about how he can help someone than what he can get from them.
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
being a gentleman servant to a lady is/was not free. just fyi. You cant just take all perks w/o downsides.
Load More Replies... Ellie Ragsdale 7 years ago
😮I'm thinking of the earlier tweet about men have no excuse for lack of communication skills. Or do they believe women won't answer them?
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
nope. both wrong. If we do what she says, well be described as 'creepy' and 'not spontaneous anymore' anyway. loose/loose game. So why play it, exactly?
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anarkzie 7 years ago
I 100% get that some men are overreacting, but I'm not sure this advice is right(at this point you've already down voted me and started crafting a response with the term mansplaining appearing alot, but please read on) wasnt a large part of the me too campaign about men abusing their power, a guy like the one above, who lets imagine is in a senior postion asking a young new starter for hugs is still putting her in an akward position. I would think the answer is simple common sense, hug friend/family etc not randoms you don't know well.
Jamey Rand 7 years ago
Just no. If a woman doesn't ask for a hug, and you are not her father or brother (and even then, to be honest, I'm starting to get a little iffy), YOU DON'T HUG HER, or GUILT TRIP HER INTO ONE. Men are allowed to say no to anything, hugs, contact, anything, but woman, we have to take a whole class on when, why, and how, we should say yes, or no. Just no. Woman are humans, and if they don't want to be touched, they don't need to be. Don't touch people that aren't asking you to touch them. Don't we teach children, of all genders, this, why does it magically disappear just because you are an adult or elderly, or a man, or hell even a woman?
Load More Replies... Analyn Lahr 7 years ago
Always ask. It's not just good manners, someone could have a condition where being touched sends them into a panic attack or worse.
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
then that person should be in psychiatric evaluation, not in public.
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Femkje Stroop 7 years ago
Aks the woman in specific if you may hug her or not... then he would've understood you answer.... men logic😑
Ryan-Michele Eagleton 7 years ago
I love how (some) men act like it's IMPOSSIBLE to tell the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. It's not. That. Hard.
Justi 7 years ago
Oh yes, I feel so many men don't listen. Is it because we speak emotionally? Or a lot? Or they just don't respect us? Not listening ruined my marriage. He didn't believe when I said I'm not coming back. And even when he "tried" to make me return, he still didn't listen. I feel I don't understand men.
#58
Nikki D 7 years ago
Men: him? He's cool, I talk to him all the time Women: well he's not creeping on you!
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
oh well. not my problem if he's not creeping on me. For all I know, she can lie to further her own ends too. Unless you provide independently verifiable evidence, im not trusting you over a man.
Load More Replies... Blue Cicada 7 years ago
As a teacher, I'll report on disturbing or concerning behavior. Some administrators don't believe it/grasp the severity until they see it with their own eyes. (Usually with a big incident that could have been avoided if admin responded to the original report.)
Tanja Caloi 7 years ago
this is literally how it goes in like 9 out of 10 casrs.
Load More Replies... #59
Chenoa Schott 7 years ago
They are so stingy with the samples that you get when you order online from Sephora. That is if you even recieve the samples lol
Azziza 7 years ago
And forget about getting the samples you picked, they are going to replace them with perfume samples guaranteed to give you a week-long migraine.
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Sarjana Lastname 7 years ago
This childish, why push woman to child like mental state. Ou so cute and lovely : ( so vain, simply trash.. Examples can be small cups whit lid you dont have to design those, it is about product after all not look or emotion. I understand if 4 year old get these to their makeup doll or for Barbie house.
#60
Jill Rhoads 7 years ago
Not to mention that piece of a*s can be positive while half-a*s is negative. Saw that on 9-gag today: https://9gag.com/gag/aPjBNmB
Cici Snow 7 years ago
My friend used to call " blow outs" ( styling hair with a blow dryer" " blow jobs" in beauty school
Susan Bosse 7 years ago
Years ago, my son (now 15) came through the living room at the moment a “booty call” was being discussed in a movie I was watching. He asked “Booty call? That’s like butt-dialing, right?” Me “Yep. Exact. Same. Thing.” I’m sure he knows different now. 🤣🙊🤣🙊
Emily Hisel 7 years ago
i already know english, and its a shock for me! also, ive seen that video too... i friggen love it.
Susanna Vesna 7 years ago
I just had to "Urban-Dictionary" butt dialing....and I think it's outdated, since our phones have no buttons anymore...Get it? no BUTTons, no BUTT dialing! #MindBlown
#61
#62
Blue Cicada 7 years ago
In the early days of cell phones, my (now ex) husband would call repeatedly until I answered. It's a mobile phone, not a "let me stop everything right now and attend to you" phone.
Eva Tóthová 7 years ago
i watch my phone ring, because i set as a ringtone on my husband Banana song by minions <3 and then i call back
#63
Master Markus 7 years ago
She DID ask "Do men know". She didn't put a question mark there, but she didn't put anything else related to grammar in the Tweet so I just assumed there was supposed to be one.
Tanja Caloi 7 years ago
the person didn't really reply to the question "if men know" though :D
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Suzi Gauthier 7 years ago
I'm a woman, but I do the same, or grit my teeth trying not to.
Load More Replies... #64
Kiahna 7 years ago
You keep saying that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.
Load More Replies... Nikki D 7 years ago
And hopefully they will stop with the unsolicited *you look tense" neck rubs. Ugh.
Gabby 7 years ago
Yo! A coworker who I hardly partner up to work with randomly touches my left shouldwe and neck the other day while talking to me about his stiff neck. I took one giant stwp to my right and stared him down.
Load More Replies... Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
also women: "why are men not spontaneous / romantic anymore?" ;)
Deborah B 6 years ago
If she's your wife or girlfriend, and she's comfortable with PDA and affectionate touch, then be spontaneous and romantic. If she is not, then don't. We're not saying it's *never* okay to hug a woman, we're saying that 99.9% of the women you encounter DON'T want you to touch them, so just don't.
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Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
why, do you expect every guy to be emotionally available to you?
#66
Mackenzie Yeoman 2 years ago
We have a party food that's basically just bread, butter and sprinkles called fairy bread in Australia
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Blue Cicada 7 years ago
A wise friend of mine suggests that for true gender equality, we should start treating men with the same superficial objectification we use on women.
Peter Latham 7 years ago
I really don't understand you ladies, women, girls, whatever. How can we possibly know what you want, when most of the time you don't even know what you want. Unless it's new handbags and shoes.
Rhonnda Oliver 7 years ago
50 plus year old woman who's never experienced any of that. I don't know if I was oblivious or self confident.
Kat Hoth 7 years ago
We are trying to make it better for ourselves, sorry that hurts your fragile little ego................
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Emily Hisel 7 years ago
the idea of locker rooms sickens me. how can you say that? the nurse once took us in there to check us for scoliosis, and someone compared herself to a "fat cow"... :-(
M O'Connell 7 years ago
Yeah. Nothing positive ever happened to anyone in a locker-room environment. That's why I haven't been swimming in literally 15 years (I'm 30 now).
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Allie Faux 7 years ago
The thing is it`s never ONE minute, it`s more like 4 hours. You sit down to check out some recipes for supper tonight. You find a couple of recipes, then see a picture of a nicely decorated table, oh that`s nice you think. I`ll do that for my next party. Oh, but the dining room is pretty drab, it really needs a paint job. Then you`re looking at color swatches and then your kid says when is supper. Now it`s 5 pm & you sat down just after lunch.
#76
Blue Cicada 7 years ago
Or a man who roots for you the same way he roots for a professional team of athletes he's never going to meet in person.
#77
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
if its not profitable for us to talk now, we will not. if you have anxiety, get on meds, maybe?
Andrea Jones 7 years ago
yup... i freak at things like this and go through every bad scenario that could happen.
#78
#79
Sue Knerl 7 years ago
Is that like a dead dog hanging from his necklace? Cuz, it's really weird looking.
Aahzmandus Pervect 7 years ago
There were no good "pictures" before? Please, tell me more.
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Beth McFadden 7 years ago
Maybe because you were picked last all the time? Just sayin'. I suck at sports, too. Same reason.
Allie Faux 7 years ago
yup, me too! Me and the short, slim, nerdy guy were always picked last, but me last, last!!!
Rhân 7 years ago
Maybe this are the people that caught their attention? I think nothing is wrong with that, but coaches/teacher could pay more attention students that always get picked last.
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Ellie Ragsdale 7 years ago
I remember a childhood where I was to tired to be with my family but too awake to actually sleep.
#82
Claire Murray 3 years ago
WAAAAAOOOOOOWWWWW, guys. Did you ever go to preschool? Where one of the first things they taught was: If you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all.
Jason Rotolo 7 years ago
It's because what she says is often funny or relatable
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Anna Thouvenin 7 years ago
And then, there is another horrible thing: finding the perfect hair tie and losing it :(
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#85
Julie Smith 7 years ago
Jesse there's a bottle of draino worn your name on it to drink Go ahead! :)
Blue Cicada 7 years ago
You are implying that lack of sexual activity is causing a problem, then you use a slur indicating that the individual engages in wanton sexual activity. Your insult, like your insight, is nonsensical. Also, like, ask any medical expert--lack of sexual activity does not cause mental health problems.
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Ashley Say Wha?!? 7 years ago
I wouldn't mind having a schedule like this, just take out the chain smoking.
Gwinevere von Ludwig 7 years ago
This schedule would be better had she not died of several smoking-related illnesses...
#87
Susann Campbell 7 years ago
Go to lunch anyway alone and then have a great time because of all the attention you will get. Even choose your own table, don't settle for one they want to give you unless it's in a prime spot.
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Master Markus 7 years ago
I was going to mention Mel Gibson, but he got a new movie out recently, so what the f**k? I'm shocked that Tom Cruise is still working even though we have ALWAYS known he was part of a crazy sci-fi cult. However, Woody Allen doesn't make movies anymore, so...
Jamey Rand 7 years ago
Woody Allen does make movies. I mean going forward he "MIGHT" have a problem, but no...he still makes them.
Load More Replies... Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
men had something those women wanted, thus the men had set the price. Want to get something you want? pay the price. Dont want the price? Leave.
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Rafaella Bueno 7 years ago
This is actually something we should probably talk more about. Those guys probably spent their entire lives so far from childhood seeing bad examples of how to treat women and that's how they learned to behave. They don't think they're being disrespectful, it's what's normal and natural to them. Just saying "be more respectful" then won't help... gotta be much more specific about what can and can't be done and why. Sure it seems utterly obvious for us, but I at least like to think that a good amount of those men aren't being d***s on purpose.... they just honestly can't understand why the things they're doing are so wrong. Don't women also often have a hard time understanding that some things we think are "just how things are" are actually forced on us from birth by society? I needed a bunch of things explained to me.... let's give the guys some patience too.
Ashley Fernandes 7 years ago
I agree to an extent in that we need to give some credit to men who are now actively aware and trying to be better. But also....respect is respect. Anyone who think's it's ok to touch people or use derogatory words should know better. Man or woman.
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Master Markus 7 years ago
WHAT MAN IS LIKE THIS? Is the U.S. really the hellhole that haunts my nightmares?
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
also women: "we reserve the right to deem EVERYTHING, ANYTIME as 'lack of respect', depending on what suits us at the moment". Thus men react as stated above, not willing to take a risk for someone that is not worth any risk.
Kimberly Robinson 7 years ago
Yes, I've seen this kind of childishness online for several months, now. These guys descend into absurdist absolutes for no reason -- "You can't even look at/talk to/ask out a woman anymore or you'll be arrested!" (I am not making these examples up, by the way. These are real comments.) And, of course, that is not what any reasonable woman is asking. But, just for the record, if men never did talk to me again, in the public sphere, you know what I would call that? My birthday, come early.
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Jamey Rand 7 years ago
I get what this poster is saying. Just because the person you know has never assaulted anyone you PERSONALLY knew or YOU, doesn't mean they aren't capable of it.
Mattias Jörnfjord 7 years ago
It's like women killing their babies. Just because you haven't killed one of your babies in depression doesn't mean you aren't capable of it.
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
depression is not an excuse for a murder. Murder moms should die themselves.
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Adam Hart-Dyke 7 years ago
"Can I put this one thing in my pocket until I get to the checkout because I'm already holding too many things without immediately being arrested?"
Magsterrrrrrrr 7 years ago
Or, you get the smaller cart - fill it and then carry all the stuff that doesn’t fit.
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Master Markus 7 years ago
My phone keeps trying to make "f**k" into "duck". I don't think I've ever texted about ducks.
Nini 7 years ago
Yup. Go duck yourself autocorrect. I don't give a duckling shot.
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Femkje Stroop 7 years ago
I auto corrected autocorrect, by correcting the settings of autocorrect🤓
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Emily Hisel 7 years ago
same! and when you can go to juvie, because someone you hate sent you something inappropriate, because of something that happened at a slightly worse school, its probably for the better.
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This Lil Raccoon 7 years ago
Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
Kristel 7 years ago
I do use the word partner. Because 1, we will not get married. Should I keep calling him my boyfriend for the rest of our lives until we are grey and old? And second: If we would have wanted to marry, we would have been married already. So yes, that is why I call him my partner. People might disagree with these reasons. But this is just my opinion in our relationship. And for who we are, we both do not use the terms girlfriend and boyfriend because it is like we feel too old for it. For other people that might feel okay and totally normal at the same ages. And I respect that. But we both never call each other boyfriend and girlfriend when we talk to other people. For online (excuse me, English is not my first language) I always thought Significant Other was another term for married people. But while writing it, I was doubtful about it. I just looked it up. So in English from now on, I will use SO. But there’s no word for it in my own language.
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Lomion 7 years ago
and if boobs are the same size, it's butts who to step forward next XDDD
Load More Replies... Dnelle1972 7 years ago
Obviously you've never been a member of the Boob Fight Club... Wait! I'm not supposed to talk about Boob Fight Cl- dammit.
Kendrůská Gaffin 7 years ago
Once I was standing at my window at night and I saw a guy punch his girlfriend in the face in the street. He has a friend with him and his friend noticed us standing at the window and started screaming at us. I live in the Czech Republic so I didn't know what he was saying, but he walked out into the street and started taking his d**k out while still yelling at us. As if this was somehow suppose to add to the intimidation. He literally punched his girlfriend in the face then started threatening us with his d**k for happening to see it. It was the weirdest masculine behavior I've ever seen.
anarkzie 7 years ago
What comparable behaviour with men is she talking about, and I think most guys would not have a problem with being threaten with boobs?
stacyh 7 years ago
I think she was talking about Trump and Kim Jong-Un and how one of them talked about how "big" their "button" was. It was basically a "whose-d**k-is-bigger" contest between two of the saddest men alive. It was truly pathetic.
Load More Replies... Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
yeah, instead of boobs, women tend to threaten others with false rape accusations. Apparently its ok.
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Molly Tallmadge 7 years ago
Women:equal pay! The world: theres actually a bored panda article on pointlessly gendered products.
Analyn Lahr 7 years ago
Doritos won't crunch anymore? Aren't they supposed to? They are chips. Chips are crunchy. I'm not getting this.
alwright 7 years ago
They actually made chips geared towards women that don't crunch as loudly, you know... so they aren't embarrassed, cuz that makes sense -_-
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Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
the world: yeah, work same hours, take same responsibility, be as effective, and sacrifice as much as men do. Women: noooo we must go have our babies the world: sorry, no bueno. im not paying you for them. I dont profit from that in any way.
Hannah McGowen 7 years ago
calm down Jesse. like on every page you rant about how women should stop reporting rape or whatever. Women: EQUAL PAY! Jesse Saving: get back in the kitchen pretty pathetic.
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Ashley Say Wha?!? 7 years ago
So funny! I can definitely imagine how the rest of your day went lol
Jamey Rand 7 years ago
HELLLLZ YEAH!!!!! Not only were your friends having a good time, but they were considerate enough to ensure you had one later LMFAO.
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Jamey Rand 7 years ago
OMFG, I need these ladies in my life....Like seriously, I wonder if they got any of their numbers LOL. I could use some positivity in my life right now, oh and non judgement LMFAO.
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Ashley Say Wha?!? 7 years ago
Same here... I'm known as the one who never responds in my family circle... I just simply forget, that's all.
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Jamey Rand 7 years ago
God this makes me more sad then I truly want to admit...mainly because it's so true
Hannah McGowen 7 years ago
yeah it is rare to find, especially with creeps like you on the internet
Load More Replies... Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
My job is for me and me alone, not for a woman to profit from. Make your own money, you can work full-time as well.
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Emily Hisel 7 years ago
my father once said that if you get six shots of espresso with your coffee, you can see into the future...
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John 7 years ago
Further - it's 1 guy and he brings up the marathon he just ran first.
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Rhianna Pinkus 7 years ago
I don't know but I'm sure it will be followed up with a casual mention about how they've been hitting the gym lately, their complete detailed workout routine, and how it's no big deal.
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Pragya Fating 7 years ago
He is. And so much cuter. The pirates of carriebian 5 was like a mirroring of the first. But wow the girl did not had the fire or looks of Elizabeth. And the boy had no presence of mind like will. I mean what the hell!
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#109
Stille20 7 years ago
He's not a big picture kind of man, is he... also why would you lie about hating chicken
Bryna Darling II 5 years ago
I'm thinking this has something to do with c*ck, not actually chicken, or maybe specific to him, but I'm generally oblivious, so IDK.
Chess Wizard 7 years ago
If you're going to troll, it's helpful if what you write actually makes sense.
Load More Replies... #110
A S Koziol 7 years ago
It's a makeup and hair product store in America..so, not utilities.
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Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
nothing like a woman f*****g over her family for looks. Untill notice comes for bills unpaid.
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Cecily C 7 years ago
Wait so not every blanket is an anxiety blanket. Dang, I've spent so much money on random blankets.
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
weighted anxiety blankets are an actual clinical therapy help items. Some weight like 20 kg's. Apparently being restrained in this way, alleviates anxiety in some case scenarios (yeah, this works, but dont ask me for exact psychological mechanism behind this)
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Debbie Andersson 7 years ago
No but really, people sitting on the machines at gym on their phones are one of the most infuriating things when you´re for once trying to get in shape, like b***h you´ve been sitting there for an hour doing nothing GET OFF.
Kristel 7 years ago
I agree. But only if they have to use their arms for it and have been using their phone for a long time. A quick message would not annoy me. And also, only when all the other machines are taken and I can't use it because of that person constantly using their phone. If there are other same machines available, let them go ahead. It does not affect you.
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Gwinevere von Ludwig 7 years ago
I watched a girl in my spin class last night as she texted... I was kinda like wtf
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Kimberly Banow 7 years ago
If it's only $2, wouldn't you want to order 2 or more to make sure it's filling? :)
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Anna Thouvenin 7 years ago
You think they have a neck, or it's just their head straight on their chest?
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Jilltdcatlady 7 years ago
Add it up again. I don't believe you. (Looking at 6 full shopping bags).
#119
Emily Hisel 7 years ago
it's on my Pandora, (which, by the way, started with modern electronic pop but now has none!) and its now with me forever...
Master Markus 7 years ago
I've recently realized I have the same thing with the Yu-Gi-Oh GX theme song. I can't even remember watching more than like... three episodes of that show ever.
#120
Uriel Grey 7 years ago
I figure mine was hit by a moose, train or has a really bad sense of direction... Lol
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Emily Hisel 7 years ago
i dont want anyone but my dog in my life. we look out for each other in a way that no other dog human relationship ever did, does or could.
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maryhadalittlelamb 7 years ago
I think it's a malay name reference. Malays usually have "bin" and "binti" in their names, which means "son of" and "daughter of" respectively. So I'm guessing it's wordplay on bin lol
Load More Replies... #123
Ellie Ragsdale 7 years ago
Even trail mix that promises to curb my appetite falls. Then again, I can't put the bag away.
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Jamey Rand 7 years ago
Ok, I know this is a joke, but damn it people. Your time is not the only important thing.... Ugh, ok I just had to get that out....LOL I get the joke LMFAO
jacqueline poste 7 years ago
Totally agree. I like the joke but people who are always late really p*ss me off. Respect other peoples time FFS!
Load More Replies... Just Carmen 7 years ago
HAHAHA! This is me. Was even late to my own WEDDING! (PS. Cutest puppy EVER!)
#133
Uriel Grey 7 years ago
In the past it was a bun gathered low not allowed loose and long like pony tail.... There is actually a real difference because women of that era didn't and wouldn't wear pony tails
#134
Verdant Hush 7 years ago
It's not the planets fault: It's covered in trash (humans).
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Master Markus 7 years ago
I think the word you're looking for is "euphoric". I don't know. I get good feelings, but they're definitely not sex feelings.
Dannyn Qualls-Gibeau 7 years ago
Are you really mansplaining this woman's own feelings to her? Dafuq?
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#136
Lorraine R 7 years ago
Also, when you carry tissues with you, and when you remember to pick up napkins in the cafeteria line.
Weeping Willowz (WeepingWillowz) 7 years ago
It’s actuall good to do that! One time my parents forgot and it turned out that 3 of them were completely smashed at the bottom (note: they didn’t get hurt in the car ride home)
#137
Emily Hisel 7 years ago
this is my most freaking favorite EVER!!!!!!!!!! also, is it crazy that im looking at the likes and such at the bottom at the screen and comparing them??? this one needs more upvotes!
Lilli Burnham 7 years ago
WHY DO YOU HAVE NEGATIVE VOTES THIS MAKES ME MAD AND SAD FOR YOU
Load More Replies... Mattias Jörnfjord 7 years ago
The sad moment when you realize that Odin is the Lord watching over you...
Chess Wizard 7 years ago
You REEEEEAAAAALLLLYYY missed the point there, kiddo.
Load More Replies... #138
Mattias Jörnfjord 7 years ago
So this doesn't happen? Those stories about women who don't talk to their date just order the most expensive thing and then sit on their phone? Like cheap version of being a sugar daddy
#139
Dawn Luttrell 7 years ago
Now that is exactly the kind of epic break-up I should have had with my ex. Just a simple, "I'm done with you. F**k off."
Tomatoe 7 years ago
i disagree with you (completely :) ) but i don't get the person who downvoted this. So I upvoted just for the balance :)
Load More Replies... #140
Carolyn Gough Walker 7 years ago
YES!! THIS!! It's why I refuse self check-out anymore, it drives me mad!
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Rozzskey 7 years ago
It's not sad, now you know you're a strong and powerful woman.
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Tamara Sager 7 years ago
And the men in the house just use the trash can as a giant game of Jenga.
#145
Gabi 7 years ago
But you can write it down for us... that's not *telling*...
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Dawn Luttrell 7 years ago
*looks at spousal unit suspiciously and wonders who I know that is a witch*
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Uriel Grey 7 years ago
Lol totally me! I am happy introverted hermit but. Likes the idea of Friends
Emily Hisel 7 years ago
i like being an introvert, but i realized its just because I'm an insocial freak, who not only doesn't like people, but doesnt know how to handle them.
Tamara Sager 7 years ago
Right! I don't want to go because I would have to leave my house and do "people-y" things. I just want to know I could go...if I wanted to.
#147
Emily Hisel 7 years ago
when life hands you med kits, get ready for a boss fight. meaning, its always too good to be true...
#148
Nikki D 7 years ago
I absolutely love flying if I have a window seat. Anywhere else is complete torture.
Gabby 7 years ago
I always gotta sit in the aisle because I'm a frequent bathroom user. So, I don't understand the appeal of window seats. Someone explain please.
Load More Replies... Master Markus 7 years ago
Women need to accommodate two other people's needs at any given time?
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Emily Hisel 7 years ago
when they tell you it's absolutely crazy important, but leave your mind to run wild on the details. !!!O_o!!!
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Christine Piette 7 years ago
Awwww, I guess that's cute. And also means they don't spend every waking moment sharing it on social media. Lol
#152
Emily Hisel 7 years ago
one year less until you die... i dont go around bragging about it, but if a subtle opportunity comes up during conversation with anyone, ill take it. i get excited too!
#153
arjelio mas 7 years ago
Poor Jesse. Sarcastic comedy has left him in its dust, never to be seen again, probably.
Mattias Jörnfjord 7 years ago
Maybe you have the wrong boyfriends. (I'm keeping the OP's use of plural men)
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Femkje Stroop 7 years ago
I guess because, just like my mom, your mom is unhappy in her life and tries to be in yours... she doesn't quite know how to be in it so tries to make you jealous, which only pisses you off even more... ? Close? Far off? Nailed it? 😅
#158
Uriel Grey 7 years ago
It's a virtual currency that currently is going crazy expensive. You actually use real money to buy! Banking credit systems are starting to not allow it. Itnis often used for criminal purposes because it's harder to track. Also north Korea was recently linked to the thief of several million dollars worth of the virtual currency
Load More Replies... Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
we men wish we could put as much confidence in women. Alas, it tends to hurt us a lot when we do. So we dont anymore.
Mike Morelli 7 years ago
To all the girls who told me I was too nice back in the day... I give you nothing.
Hurr Durr 7 years ago
So you gave nothing, and continue to give nothing. Thanks for the heads-up.
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Kiahna 7 years ago
Oh my gosh, Jesse. Stop taking everything so seriously. It's a JOKE. You do know what a joke is, right?
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Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
also women: "dont generalise us! generalising is WRONG!" (unless we do it, then its feminism!). Allegiations by word have no value, period. Convictions and independent verifiable evidence is what matters.
#162
Nikki D 7 years ago
Has telling someone to calm down EVER worked, even once, in all of history?
Hev 7 years ago
"If I wasn't already being careful, you telling me to be careful would not make me more careful."
Hev 7 years ago
Wait... Never mind. My medicated sleepy brain mixed up careful and calm. Lol
Load More Replies... Emily Hisel 7 years ago
the best way to agrivate someone is by telling them to chill out/calm down/cool off.
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Jesse Saving 7 years ago
When ur friend invites you to hang out but you realise too late their other half is there and you're just a third wheel
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Anna Christina 7 years ago
or try my thing; carry around a backpack filled with plastic bags filled with plastig bags
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Zahndré Van der Westhuizen 7 years ago
I can be black out drunk and not forget to remove my contact lenses!
Heiða Björk 7 years ago
Me in the morning: mom who put a bucket next to my bed and a towel on my pillow last night? Mom: you did.. Didnt even remeber coming home..
#173
Just Amiable 7 years ago
I'm the chick who lined up for Szechuan sauce 😂 Long live Rick & Morty
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Michelle Dodson 7 years ago
My Mother had a fit because I let the kids eat leftover peach pie for breakfast (with a glass of milk, of course). So I asked her, "What's the difference between that and the peach pancakes at IHOP?" My daughter piped up with "You forgot the whipped cream".
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Elizabeth Wilkins 7 years ago
My kids keep trying to use my prime boxes for weird stuff. Like crafts.......
#181
Lisa Shaw 4 years ago
I had a MIL like this, she only brushed her teeth the day she going to see a dentist, which only happened every 10-12 years, she was in her early 50's and didn't know what dental floss or a douche were. She was floored when she walked in on me flossing my teeth, thought I had taken all the white thread out of her sewing basket!
Kimberly Banow 7 years ago
I heard you need to start flossing at least a few days before your appointment to avoid bloody gums at the dentist's.
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ArtistclyAutistic 7 years ago
Saaaaameee or when you feel like it changed you but its literally the same face that you hate.
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Sharon Voorhees 7 years ago
I pretended to be with my sil & g'son on their European tour and they truly thought I was going senile or had alzheimer's. Couldn't take a joke from an older person!
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Emily Hisel 7 years ago
thats me literally me right now... its fricking 11:30, and i need to sleep, but i must finish!
#194
Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
also, thats why you are in debt. probably.
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Kip The Otter 6 years ago
My dad used to say "They cost like fifty cents, they won't notice." *Slips pen in pocket* That is where 90% of our pens are from. The other 10% are the good pens we (the kids) aren't allowed to use because we will ruin them in 10 seconds flat and on total accident.
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Emily Hisel 7 years ago
upvote for the comment!!! by the way, you should probably invest in a dog.
#201
Cecily C 7 years ago
Um she is shaking her boobs. It is a milk shake because of their primary export
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AngelofThursdays 7 years ago
To fix them. Like putting a wet iphone in rice to dry it out so it will work.
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Panic!AtTheYeemo 7 years ago
i started laughing in the middle if math and people think im on more drugs than usual
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Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
if it suits us, we'll find it, dont worry.
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Kai Cin Liang 7 years ago
That is EXACTLY why i HATE turtlenecks and also it feels like it's about to choke me
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Eliza Greenwood 7 years ago
The movie and TV industries impossible beauty standards... She looks so young to regular people but her agent is saying she's old
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D.S. Watson 7 years ago
What I hate is when my man shows me a funny meme as if I didn't show him that exact same meme two weeks ago like, so it's not just listening you have a problem with?
#242
Rose Blutige 7 years ago
Stop cramming things into yourself that weren't meant to be in those particular orifaces O.o
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Just Carmen 7 years ago
This is me and my girlfriend. But we usually end up talking another 2 hours before we finally hang up.
Emily Hisel 7 years ago
my brother has a lot of friends, an when mom picks him up, she is like, ill only be a second, and then has us sitting in the car for another 2 hours.
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Just Carmen 7 years ago
Subway's ok, but I like Erbert's and Gerbert's better. They have the best bread! 😃
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Jenný Joensen 7 years ago
I'm 25 and my mother is 48, and lately, our favourite thing to do is to talk about sexual organs, births and what muscles to be sure to take care of to be good in bed and not pee your pants, all while my 16 year old sister is sitting with us getting grossed out and super embarrased.... It's a lot of fun!
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Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
do so, by all means. just be aware that words have consequences as well as deeds.
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Krishna Vishwas 7 years ago
I like the way Abe is looking at trump.. it's like oh you special dumbfuck
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Diane Lloyd 7 years ago
Thank you. I now have one of my favorite songs going around in my head. Loved it so much it used to be the wake up song on my alarm clock. Retired now...alarm clock donated.
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Eva Tóthová 7 years ago
i do (that sausage only, not a bun)... 01:20 for three sausages quick and salty breakfast :D
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Michał Jastrzębski 7 years ago
...yet men that dont want women in their lives are somehow bad.
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What do you think ?
Ethan Slusser 7 years ago
Okay, people are already talking about this stuff so I’ll go ahead and give my critique of something. It’s come to my attention that these tweet posts are rather segregated. Why do we have to have “By women” in the title? It could just be tweets that made us laugh, we shouldn’t have to have “25 Tweets by gay people that made us laugh like nuts”. We should just call the “25 tweets that made us laugh like nuts”. My reviews of articles are always bittersweet, I see what you’re going for, feminism and all that. Heck I’m a feminist, but I just don’t seet the need to specify “ by women”. We can just simply have funny tweets. That’s my opinion on it anyways.
Dave Roger 7 years ago
If I had to wager a guess, I'd say it's because so many people say women aren't funny. Still, in 2018 people say that all the time. So maybe they felt it necessary to state that it was women being funny.
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Magdalina777 7 years ago
This needs to be included in that "25+ unnecessarily and stupidly gendered things" article further down the page. Like, you know, an umbrella only from men, a collection of funny tweets only from women...
Jef Bateman 7 years ago
I think the "made the whole internet laugh out loud" is hyperbole, but they were pretty funny.
Dave Roger 7 years ago
It's not anyone else's fault you have 0 sense of humor. Some of these were really funny.
Load More Replies... Ethan Slusser 7 years ago
Okay, people are already talking about this stuff so I’ll go ahead and give my critique of something. It’s come to my attention that these tweet posts are rather segregated. Why do we have to have “By women” in the title? It could just be tweets that made us laugh, we shouldn’t have to have “25 Tweets by gay people that made us laugh like nuts”. We should just call the “25 tweets that made us laugh like nuts”. My reviews of articles are always bittersweet, I see what you’re going for, feminism and all that. Heck I’m a feminist, but I just don’t seet the need to specify “ by women”. We can just simply have funny tweets. That’s my opinion on it anyways.
Dave Roger 7 years ago
If I had to wager a guess, I'd say it's because so many people say women aren't funny. Still, in 2018 people say that all the time. So maybe they felt it necessary to state that it was women being funny.
Load More Replies... Magdalina777 7 years ago
This needs to be included in that "25+ unnecessarily and stupidly gendered things" article further down the page. Like, you know, an umbrella only from men, a collection of funny tweets only from women...
Jef Bateman 7 years ago
I think the "made the whole internet laugh out loud" is hyperbole, but they were pretty funny.
Dave Roger 7 years ago
It's not anyone else's fault you have 0 sense of humor. Some of these were really funny.
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